Lessons on Writing Effective Sentences Part III:
Subordination
Adapted from The Writer’s Options (3rd ed.) by Donald Daiker, Andrew Kerek, and Max Morenberg
Instruction
Imagine, if you can, that you are writing a research paper and you want to make these
two observations:
Some species of whales are nearing extinction.
Many countries refuse to accept even a partial ban on whale hunting.
How can you combine these two sentences? As we saw in an earlier lesson, you could
use simple coordination:
(1) Some species of whales are nearing extinction, and yet many countries refuse to
accept even a partial ban on whale hunting.
But if you want to suggest that one sentence is more important than the other, you can
make one clause a subordinate clause:
(2) Although some species of whales are nearing extinction, many countries refuse to
accept even a partial ban on whale hunting. [OR]
(3) Because many countries refuse to accept even a partial ban on whale hunting, some
species of whales are nearing extinction.
Subordinate clauses (underlined above) are introduced with subordinating conjunctions
like after, although, as long as, as soon as, because, before, even though, if, provided
that, since, so that, though, till, until, when, whenever, whereas, while.
Subordinating conjunctions do three things for us: they give adverbial information (like
time, place, condition, reason, manner, etc.), they help us emphasize certain things
more than others, and they help us write economically. As an example of this last point,
watch how subordination changes the writing in passage (4) into the less wordy and
more stylistically pleasing sentence (5):
(4) Nuclear plants are a clean and economical way of producing much-needed energy.
Their existence, however, depends on whether local residents are willing to put up with
them.
(5) Nuclear plants are a clean and economical way of producing much-needed energy, if
local residents are willing to put up with them.
Because subordinate clauses can be moved around, subordination is an excellent way to
add your own style and creativity to your writing.
Exercises
1. As a class, practice adding subordinate clauses before and/or after the simple
sentences below. Then discuss how the order of the clauses adds emphasis.
a. She threw her shoe at him.
b. My mom and dad grounded me for a month.
c. We may never end the cycle of violence in Africa.
2. In groups of three or by yourself, combine the sentences below into one
sentence using subordinating conjunctions. Rearrange and revise the sentences
any way you want.
a. Some people think reality television shows exploit their contestants. Many
contestants on reality TV receive fame and prizes for participating.
b. Adultery has never been more popular. The injunction not to cheat on your
spouse has been in Western culture for at least 2500 years.
3. Revise a passage of your writing by adding subordinate clauses or subordinating
conjunctions to give adverbial information, to emphasize one thing over another,
and to combine sentences to make your writing less wordy.
Note: as you revise, you can make your sentences interesting and complex by combining
what you learned in this lesson about subordination with what you learned in Lesson I
about coordination. In other words, your sentences can combine a subordinate clause
with two independent clauses combined with a coordinating conjunction, as in this
example from The Market Revolution by Charles Sellers:
and
As Indians stepped up their harvest of animal pelts to exchange, taboos broke down
overkilling disrupted the Indian ecology.
In this example, the subordinate clause is underlined, the two independent clauses are
in bold, and the coordinating conjunction is in italics.