Running head: INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS
Infidelity In Martial Relationships
Adam Sunderhaus
University of Kentucky
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INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS
Abstract
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Marital infidelity is becoming increasingly common in today's society. Prior research has documented the process leading to infidelity in marriage.
This translational paper investigates the implications of infidelity in both males and females in a martial relationship. By examining infidelity before and after its occurrence, this paper will better determine as to why couples use infidelity in a marriage and help to prevent infidelity from occurring or if infidelity has already occurred, ways to help rebuild a damaged relationship caused by the rule violation.
Keywords: infidelity, marital infidelity, emotional infidelity, sexual infidelity.

Running head: INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS 3
I Thought You Loved Me
Before placing the rings on each other’s finger, a groom and bride recite a vow promising to trust, protect and love each other for the rest of their lives. By saying “I do” the couple seals their relationship and their promise until death does its part. Unfortunately in today’s society this promise is commonly broken. Fighting, jealousy and resentment lead the married couple that was once madly in love to commit infidelity against each other. There are many motivations behind infidelity that can lead a partner to commit this rule breaking violation against his or her loved one. Through my research, I have developed advice to help prevent infidelity before its occurrence as well as help for couples in maintaining a relationship after infidelity has occurred. By following the advice given couples will have knowledge of pre clues or circumstance’s in dealing with infidelity if it ever occurs in their lifelong relationship.
Infidelity is closely associated with the morals of a cheater, but it also shows neutral or positive outcomes, such as improving one’s relationship. A partner may commit infidelity in hope to bring his or her relationship closer with their partner.
Infidelity is defined as the action of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. To complicate matters further, infidelity can range from engaging in a conversation with someone other than your partner to engaging in sex other than your partner (Tafoya & Spitzberg, P. 201.) It is

INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS impossible to define an exact behavior of infidelity due to the variable constituted across individuals, culture, religions and personalities.
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The two most basic concepts of Infidelity are emotional and sexual. Emotional Infidelity is defined as channeling emotional resources to someone other than their long-term partner. Intimate talk and sexual attraction are some of many indicators of emotional infidelity. Sexual Infidelity is defined as any sexual activity with someone else other than his or her long-term partner. This type of infidelity is most commonly understood.
Although the duration is short and involves less trust, the access and sexual attention of another partner is considered higher. One factor before making assumption about sexes in infidelity is males and females both have different perception. The social evolution theory has prioritized females as more worried about emotional infidelity because they are more concerned about protecting survival resources. Males are more concerned about sexual infidelity due to their concern with paternal certainty also known as how confident the male is that the offspring produced by the female is his.
Through my research I have provided advice to help prevent the occurrence of infidelity from clues or situations that may occur. After helping provide knowledge of preventing the occurrence, I will then provide advice to others who are struggling to find motivation to continue a relationship or understand why a partner committed infidelity to bring them closer in their marriage.

Running head: INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS 5
The wedding and honeymoon is over and now it is time to live the rest of your life with the one you vowed too. The first month or year of the marriage often times goes perfect but then thoughts and events start to happen. You slowly find tendencies about your partner that irritate you. Arguments occur and communication starts to decrease in length and time. The person that you were once madly in love with is now starting to distance his or her self from you. The following 3 tips and Video are advice to know if your husband or wife is committing acts of infidelity the number one sign is a relationship becomes emotionally distant. A partner starts to lack showing or expression feeling and keeps their feelings to their self. There is also a lack of extradyadic behaviors such as kissing or sexual intercourse. Extradyadic behaviors are big factors for a person in determining what satisfies them both mentally and physically (Lewandowski & Ackerman, P. 389-403.) To help prevent this from happening confront your significant other about his or her change in actions and if something if wrong. Ask as to why kissing or sexual intercourse has declined. If they continue to show no feelings counseling may be needed to help keep the relationship working smoothly.
Secondly, your partner may slowly start to forget the little things that mean the most to both of you in your marriage. He or she may not want to go to dinner or spend recreational time together anymore. They will say ‘I forgot” when forgetting about something such as an anniversary or promised bonding time. This happens because your husband or wife is distancing their selves from you, he or she has low motivation in maintaining a relationship with you and finds more desire satisfying someone else’s needs.
Thirdly, your partner may start becoming more secretive about their personal life. If he or she walks into another room while on the phone, or shuts down the computer monitor such secretive behavior may mean your husband or wife is hiding something from you.
When confronting your

INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS 6 partner about this situation do so in a nonviolent or angry way, although you may be frustrated about what is going on you must be calm to prevent further violence from happening.
After providing advice about clues to help prevent infidelity, it may be too late for some people’s marriage. Infidelity has already occurred and you and your loved one are in an opposition of what to do. A married couple can either work to recreate the relationship they had and put the occurrence of infidelity in the past or a break up and divorce occurs.
The first step in advice to saving a relationship is to find out the motivation behind your partners cause for infidelity. He or she may have to get back at you for a fight or out of jealousy or to try in make the relationship stronger. After finding out the motive behind the infidelity the first key step in maintaining a relationship is the motivation between you and your partner. Motivation is important because people have to want to be in the relationship with their significant other.
Couples with high motivation repaired their relationships faster then low motivational couples through honesty, when presenting their responses to their offended partner (Mongeau 1997, p. 150). If low motivation is present in a relationship then there is no desire in trying to maintain a marriage, which leads to divorce. Authors Fyfe and
Weeks believe by promoting intimacy through communication it will better help grow the relationship between married couples again (Fyfe & Weeks, P. 293.) Another author by the name of Winek added that a relationship can easily be rebuilt through five stages – Knowing the details, releasing anger, showing commitment, rebuilding trust and rebuilding the relationship
(Winek, P. 250-254.) These five stages can help rebuild a troubled marriage caused by infidelity if properly and equally followed by both members of a relationship. If one member puts in more effort than another the rebuilding process will take longer than if an equal amount of effort is put forth. You may also look to the mayo for advice in mending your marriage .

Running head: INFIDELITY IN MARTIAL RELATIOSNHIPS
In conclusion, infidelity will always be a large variable to comprehend because it is constituted across individuals, culture, religions and personalities. By following my advice, married couples now know how to manage in dealing with factors that may lead to the thought or causation of infidelity. Married couples that are working on the rebuilding their relationship should also follow my advice in to help properly communicate and improve their damaged relationship between spouses. Although infidelity continues to increase in today’s society, by being faithful and trustworthy to your partner, just like you committed in your marriage vows then you will live happily ever after until death does it part.
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Resources
Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Gambescia, N. (2008). Treating Infidelity: Considering Narratives of Attachment. Family Journal, 16(4), 293-299.
Lewandowski Jr., G. W., & Ackerman, R. A. (2006). Something's Missing: Need Fulfillment and
Self-Expansion as Predictors of Susceptibility to Infidelity. Journal of Social Psychology,
146(4), 389-403.
Mongeau, P. A., & Schulz, B. E. (1997). What he doesn't know won't hurt him (or me): Verbal responses and attributions following sexual infidelity. Communication Reports, 10(2),
143-152.
Tafoya, M. A., & Spitzberg, B. H. (2007). The dark side of infidelity: Its nature, prevalence, and communicative functions. In B. Spitzberg & W. Cupach (Eds.), The Dark Side of
Interpersonal Communication (pp. 201-233). New York, NY: Routledge.
Winek, J. L., & Craven, P. A. (2003). HEALING RITUALS FOR COUPLES RECOVERING
FROM ADULTERY. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 25(3),
249-266.