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Kumail Naqvi
Jankens
ENG1020
27 October 2014
Project 1 Part 5
Adrienne Jankens commented on my blog that, “A teacher must
attend to students’ affective responses and physical displays to
understand whether and how learning is taking place”
(firstgradepicutres). While this was very evident during the
observation of my brother’s Kumon class, the physical set-up of
the classroom also affected the learning space. In the upcoming
paragraphs, I will show you exactly how these factors diminished
from the learning at hand.
There is no ‘perfect’ set-up for a classroom; each room is
built to serve its specific purpose (i.e. an art orientated
classroom may have a few large tables, whereas a room for the
sole purpose of taking exams may have spaced-out individual
desks). My brother’s classroom was arranged in a ‘classic’
manner, with four rows of five desks facing the teacher. This is
ideal in some situations (such as the previously mentioned
examination room), but this was not one of them. The classroom
was designed to be like a small lecture hall, where students
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would just take notes and ask questions, doing an occasional set
of problems (this was an advanced algebra class). In a room
where the teacher moves around on three different fronts (the
front chalkboard, the whiteboard on one side and a couple
posters he references throughout), this is not the best
environment to learn. It is difficult for the students to focus
on this many different points. But, as Jankens points out in her
dissertation, there isn’t always an easy way to reorganize the
classroom. In this case it was difficult to reorganize because
the desks were bolted into the ground, as each desk had an
outlet. This made for the rearrangement of the classroom to be
very difficult.
A student is only as good as their teacher. Now, I am not
trying to say that my brother’s teacher was not qualified to
teach the subject, he just didn’t cater to the students’
individual needs. He was too caught up during the lecture to
notice whether the kids were raising their hands. This
unawareness only hindered the learning process. This is
considerably bad, especially since the kids’ parents are paying
for this class. He also skipped around a lot during the lecture,
switching topics rapidly (some completely irrelevant to each
other). At one point he went from stating the quadratic formula
to how his dog reminded him of it (it would take another essay
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to explain how...).
This only confused the students, further
inhibiting the learning process. They had no connection between
his dog and the quadratic formula to aid them in any sort of
learning.
These two factors combined made for an ineffective learning
space. As I said before, each classroom is designed for its own
specific purpose; this classroom was not designed for ideal
learning. The teacher must also stay on topic and pay attention
to each student to provide the best possible learning
experience.
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Project 2
Part 1: Analysis of Articles about Vaccines
Analysis of “Do Infectious Diseases Pose a Threat?”
In this time of Ebola outbreaks and Swine Flu reemergences, we are constantly pestered by friends, family and
media alike to get checked-up by a doctor or to get our
vaccinations. In the article, “Do Infectious Diseases Pose a
Threat?” written by the National Institute of Allergy and
Infectious Diseases (NIAID), we look at why exactly vaccines are
so important.
NIAID’s article starts out with asking the audience if
they’ve had any of the infectious diseases just listed (i.e.
pertussis, measles, mumps, etc.). This strategy uses both ethos
and pathos to basically ‘scare’ the reader into appreciating
vaccines. They state that because of vaccines, these diseases
have been completely (or almost) eradicated in the United States
(logos). They further divulge into the details of a particular
infectious disease, polio, and what gruesome symptoms it spawns
(ethos). According to NIAID, because of vaccines, polio is
almost completely eradicated in the whole world. Another
strategy I noticed was when NIAID compared the costs of getting
a vaccination to the costs of potential treatment (logos).
They
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say that a vaccination typically costs $25-50, but it all
depends on the supplier, your insurance, and what the
vaccination is for. They then compare that to an average trip to
the hospital, averaging to hundreds, or even thousands of
dollars. The last strategy I noticed for NIAID’s article was
when they broke down the process of how a vaccine works with
your immune system.
In conclusion, NIAID made use of two very effective (and
one not so effective) strategies.
In terms of persuading me, if
I weren’t getting my vaccinations already, this article would
definitely push me over the edge, especially with the
description of polio’s symptoms. The symptom that struck out to
me was the possibility of paralysis. The thought of never being
able to move a limb or even a whole side of your body did a good
job of scaring me alright. The financial aspect of vaccines was
also a good strategy. It is much more preferable to pay $25 for
a vaccine than the potential thousands for treatment. The last
strategy where they describe the process of gaining immunity
through vaccinations was not effective. The terminology they
used was just too advanced for the average reader (do you know
what to call the α-β complex of a B-cell’s MHC marker?). Even if
they included that section to appeal to the “smarter” reader,
wouldn’t they reader have gotten a vaccination in the first
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place if they knew so much already (according to NIAID)? In
other words, what would be the point of convincing someone who
is most likely on your side? Overall, this article made clear
and concise arguments with solid reasons and facts (besides the
in-depth look at the mechanics of vaccines) that could appeal to
any reader.
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Analysis of “Should Vaccinations be Mandatory?”
Merrill Goozner’s article, “Should Vaccinations be
Mandatory?” looks at the lesser known facts about vaccines and
how they are not all what they seem to be.
Goozner’s article starts out with a statistic, one that is
surprising to say the least; only 62% of vaccines are effective.
She gives the example that out of you, your mom, and your dad,
only two of you would be immune to the disease you were getting
vaccinated for (logos and pathos).For her last strategy, she
then states that vaccines don’t protect us consistently; they
must be re-administered after some time. The flu-shot is the
example she uses; we must get it annually.
All in all, she was not very persuading, but she did shed
some light on some covered up facts. Starting with her first
strategy; it is a very effective logos argument. Less than 2/3
of people are not covered by a vaccine when they are inoculated.
Big numbers plus the relation to people close the reader
(pathos) equals to a strong, very persuasive emotion. But, the
problem I find in this argument is; what’s the harm in getting a
shot? There is still a good chance it will still provide
immunity. Her second strategy was not very effective. So what
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the vaccines must be re-administered? We are bound by the limits
of human knowledge. Plus, it is a 30 min ordeal at most; it is
not that big of a commitment. When it comes down to it, my
hesitance to get a vaccine was not even budged by Goozner; her
argument had clear flaws in them.
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Part 2: Dialogue
Scene: There has been a bomb threat at a local mall. Shops were
instructed by police to lock-down and keep any persons who
didn’t evacuate already inside. Within those unlucky numbers was
a dashing young man, a guy wearing a jacket that read NIAID, and
a woman crying uncontrollably.
Dashing Young Man: (Turns to two others) So, I guess we’re stuck in
this Toys R Us for a while, huh (winks seductively at NIAID dude)?
NIAID dude: What the...
Crying Woman: (sobbing hysterically)
Dashing Young Man: What were you guys doing in this Toys R Us anyways?
NIAID dude: I was getting my kid a new bike, what about you?
Dashing Young Man: I was pulling the heads off of Barbie’s.
NIAID dude: Whoa, should not have asked…
Crying Woman: (slows sobbing) I came to return this Tickle Me Elmo
because my 28 cats didn’t like playing with it, but of course, someone
wants to blow me up! Who’ll take care of Micah, Jin, Peter, Camille,
Timmy, Julieann, Florencio, Clint, Joey, Don, Providencia, Olin,
Shawnee, Marge, Sol, Tonia, Pearline, Arianna, Sana, Golda, Allyn,
Elodia, Maple, Pauline, Jayme, Manuela, and Ambrose now?!
Dashing Young Man: 28 cats? That’s easy mode; try 4687 cats like me.
Anyways, my name’s Kumail, what’re yours?
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NIAID dude: My name is Manmeet Singh. I work at the National Institute
of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), but am also a male model
on the side.
Kumail: The NIAID? (Laughs) You nerd! But are you seriously a male
model? Cause I need some pictures, my fridge is getting kind of empty
Manmeet: Ummm okay...? (pulls out portfolio of pictures) Here is a
couple:
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Kumail: YES! (catches himself-off-guard) I mean, uh, that will do
well, yes quite well...
Crying Woman: WAIT! Did you say you work for NIAID?! You guys are the
fools that think vaccines are the best things since sliced bread!
Manmeet: Wait, what? You want to fight about this NOW?
Woman: (wiping away running mascara) What if I do? HUH, HUH?
Manmeet: (Pulls back sleeves) Alright, if you insist… (Punches woman
square in the jaw)
Kumail: WHAT THE HECK? WHY’D YOU PUNCH HER? I WAS GONNA DO THAT SO I
COULD STEAL SOME OF HER CATS!
Manmeet: She said she wanted to fight now…
Woman: (re-locates jaw) I MEANT A VERBAL DISCUSSION!
Manmeet: Ohhhh...Who are you anyways?
Woman: My name is Merrill Goozner. You must be as stupid as a bottle
of vaccine to not know me.
Manmeet: Whoa whoa whoa, why are vaccines stupid?
Goozner: Well, for starters, 1/3 of vaccines don’t even work!
Kumail: One out of three? So out of me, my dad and my other dad, one
of us won’t even be protected by it?
Goozner: Precisely.
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Manmeet: True, but those are for menial diseases, (relatively
speaking) like the Flu. The percentage for potentially-fatal disease
is way higher, almost 100%.
Kumail: She still has a point, though. Why take it if there’s a big
chance it won’t do anything, ya know?
Goozner: Plus, it’s a waste of money.
Manmeet: I wouldn’t call it a waste. Would you rather pay for a $50
shot or for hospital care?
Kumail: Hospital care can cost well into the hundreds, even the
thousands! I ain’t trying to go broke, son.
Manmeet: Do you even know what some of the diseases protected by
vaccines do? Let’s take polio for example; it can paralyze a limb, or
even a whole side of your body!
Kumail: Are you serious? That’s horrible. And that disease can be
stopped just from a tiny vaccine?
Manmeet: Yes, it can be stopped completely.
You see, the vaccine has
weakened or a dead version of the virus, which has antigens on it.
These antigens are bound by the antibodies produced by the B cell―
Goozner: NO ONE CARES! Besides, why would you need the polio vaccine?
How many people do you hear having polio in the U.S.?
Manmeet: Exactly. Vaccines work.
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Kumail: DANG, SHE GOT OWNED!
Goozner: Yea, okay. Vaccines are still annoying; you have to readminister after some time. I have to get the flu shot every dang
year!
Kumail: So what? A 30-minute trip once a year doesn’t sound so bad
when compared to days, or even months of potential sickness.
Manmeet: See Kumail, you get it!
Kumail: I’m definitely getting my vaccine shots from now on.
Narrator: The bomb then detonated, but Manmeet’s quick thinking saved
them all; he threw a couple vials of vaccine into the air so they
would burst and collectively from a sphere…a sphere of IMMUNITY (get
it hehehe) from the heat and force of the bomb.
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Part 3: Reflection on Rhetorical Strategies
Since Project 3 will be to develop a proposal to change
State Hall 335, it will affect a lot of people (students,
teachers, computer technologists, etc.). All of these different
groups will have their own priorities. It is important that as
we dive into this project, we take all their perspectives into
account.
Students’ main priorities (me being one) are probably going
to revolve around the layout of the classroom itself, be it the
arrangement of the desks, the lack of outlets (if they prefer
using laptops), and other similar ideas. Teacher may also have
these proposals, but they will probably orient themselves
towards more effective teaching. Examples of this include having
an actual desk instead of sharing a table/using the cart, having
a larger, stationary whiteboard, and having more stable Wi-Fi so
they can depend on it if they wanted to pull something off of
the internet. Computer techs will also have proposals, but I
feel they would be much more menial compared to
students/teacher’s proposals. Students might want upgraded
computers, but the thought of spending 1000’s of dollars does
not seem too realistic in the mind of a computer tech.
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Our main audience, to even have the proposal considered to
be sent to the English Department, will be students. Strategies
that would appeal to them the most would probably be the most
effective.
These include (as previously mentioned) clean-up of
the classroom, easy access to outlets, and more effective
table/desk arrangement for social interactions (for peerreviewing obviously, not for the sake of talking to your
neighbor...)
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Works Cited
Goozner, Merrill. "Far From Perfect." Modern Healthcare 21 Jan.
2013: n. pag. Rpt. in Should Vaccinations Be Mandatory?
Ed. Roman Espejo. Farmington Hills, MI: Greenhaven, 2014.
At Issue. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 14 Oct.
2014.
"Vaccines: Understanding." N.p.: n.p., n.d. N. pag. Rpt. in Do
Infectious Diseases Pose a Threat? Ed. Roman Espejo.
Detroit: Greenhaven, 2014. At Issue. Opposing Viewpoints
in Context. Web. 14 Oct. 2014.
Firstgradepictures.“Coding Memo.”I just want this url,
WordPress. 2/8/2016, 2/8/2016
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Reflection
It is a good thing that what we turned in were just drafts;
if we were actually getting graded, I would have failed Project
2. Your revisions were really helpful as some of the things it
highlighted neither me, nor did any of my peers, catch. I will
break this reflection down into a paragraph each for Project 1
Part 5, and Project 2 Part 1 and Project 2 Part 2.
I did fairly well for Project 1 Part 5. After clarifying
the use of your blog comment, everything was pretty simple. When
I read your response to the comment, thinking that it was part
of your dissertation, I felt so awkward because you probably
thought “How stupid is this kid to cite something completely
made up from my dissertation?” It was also important that I
included examples for the statement I made, such as how my
brother’s Kumon teacher got off topic and how the classroom
should be used. Ultimately, it helped clarify what I was trying
to convey when I (basically) said “He is not a good teacher.”
I completely messed up the structure for Project 2 Part 1.
I should have read the syllabus (Welcome to college, Kumail!).
There were two big mistakes I made: First, and probably the
biggest, was how I combined the two analyses for both articles
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into one. During the peer-review for it, when my (now friend,
which I already forgot the name of...) peer-reviewer told me I
had done it completely wrong, I was just devastated. I couldn’t
believe I had made such a big mistake and missed a huge aspect
for the assignment. Fixing it was not so bad, I just copy and
pasted while tweaking a couple of sentences. As for my second
mistake, I included my opinion of the strategy used (like ‘this
strategy was not very effective’) in the actual body of the
analysis, instead of the conclusion (where it should have been).
This was also a simple copy-and-paste fix, but was a huge error
nonetheless.
As for Part 2 of Project 2, I might have crossed the
line... If it weren’t for you comment regarding the “distinct
taste of humor”, I might have never realized what sleep-deprived
me concocted one late evening. After re-reading it (post
submission) I thought to myself, “What the HECK was I thinking?
I sent that to my professor?” (Also sorry if I offended you...).
After deleting A LOT of inappropriate text, I decided that I
would listen to the other piece of your advice for the dialogue;
actually including something pertaining to vaccines. I had
focused so much on the humor aspect of it, that I completely
forgot the main point of the assignment. After adding some
additional facts and reasonings, I was finally done.
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I think I have made a lot of progress as a student.
Regarding my writing, researching, and reading, I think I have
grown exceptionally well in that latter two. My writing has
(mostly) excised some of the common mistakes you would show us
in class, like wordiness (the Purdue OWL exercise actually
helped). That exercise sort of opened the door to wordiness; I
never really knew it existed until you bought it up. My
researching, well, I had no prior experience in it, so you could
say this class established a whole new skillset for me. Whenever
I read now, I underline important text. This was something I
learned recently, with the support of all the readings this
class and my HON 1000 class (a complete joke if you ask me...
and anyone else in the class) have given me. Underlining is a
very powerful tool; it helps you organize the text into its main
points, which was essential for me so I could pick out the
necessary information quite easily.
My goals for the second half of this semester include:
winning the lottery, marrying a supermodel (with a nice
personality of course), and curing cancer. As for my realistic
goals, I just want to become an even better reader. I want to
get to the point where I can just look down the middle of a
sentence and capture all of its important information (my dad
can do this, it’s very cool). I made this my goal because
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looking into the future, I expect many harder texts to come my
way. It will be essential that I am a great reader by that time
so I can comprehend all the information that it throws at me and
uncover the hidden meanings of it as well.