这篇已经很好了
我感觉你的模版也固定了
可以练习Report 啦
2013.01.19
Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take
Childcare courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Structure:
Body 1
It has certain the drawbacks
it may impose financial burden on the impoverished families
1: some families have a very tight budget
2: it may incur expenses for tuition fess, transportation
3: some of them cannot pay it
it may cost money
1: many poor parents may consume lots of amount of money on transportation
and courses.
2: this make them poorer
Body2:
Taking childcare courses can bring benefits for many parents.
1: acquire knowledge about how to look after and educate their children
2: it could help parents foster children’s development
3: children could achieve the better education and have good relation with their
family
RF
1: learn from other sources
2: some sources may provide courses efficiently and effectively
Caring courses is vital for children’s development. It is common for many
parents to take childcare courses in our society. I disagree with the opinion that
all parents should be required to go to learn children courses.
There are several reasons why I disagree with the idea. For one thing, some
parents are unnecessary to take these courses since they are kindergarten
teachers. Being kindergarten teachers, they are equipped with professional
knowledge on children development and spend most of their time with children
so that they should not receive formal training. For another, taking childcare
courses may impose a financial burden on some impoverished families. For
example, some parents have to pay bus tickets and tuition fee in order to take
childcare courses, which make them poorer. Without paying these fees, they
would live better.
Nevertheless, learning childcare courses also could bring some benefits for
people. To begin with, the relationship between parents and children could be
enhanced. As childcare courses could provide knowledge about teaching
children, taking childcare courses could help parents foster children’s
development and build bonded relationship with children. However, parents
can acquire childcare knowledge from other sources instead of taking the
courses. For instance, young parents could watch online videos on websites or
learn some practical skills about childcare from books, which may be efficient
and effective ways for some parents who are busy with their works.
In conclusion, although taking childcare courses is beneficial for parents and
children, I still think that some parents should take childcare courses rather than
all parents.
Words: 257
In conclusion, although taking childcare courses is beneficial for parents and
children, I still think that some parents should take childcare courses rather than
all parents.
It can be stated as… “In conclusion, although taking childcare courses is
beneficial for parents and children, I still think that it is not imperative for all
parents to attend such courses.”
Evaluation Report
Estimated score: 7.5
Overall suggestion:
Overall a good task 2 response.
Task
Achievement
Coherence
and Cohesion
Score
Examples
in your writing
Band 8
Increase to 8
7.5
clearly
presents
and
highlights
key
features/bul
let points
but could be
more fully
extended
7.5
You have responded
well to the task.
8
Good work.
Good use of
paragraphing and
cohesive devices.
8
You have done well in
this area but the
language used is quite
simple.
8
logically
organises
information
and ideas;
there is
clear
progression
throughout
Lexical
Resource
7uses a
sufficient
range of
vocabulary
to allow
some
flexibility
and
precision
Grammatical
range and
accuracy
7
a) Caring courses is
produces
frequent
error-free
sentences
vital for children’s
development
b) For one thing,
some parents are
unnecessary to
take these courses
presents,
highlights and
illustrates key
features/bulle
t points
clearly and
appropriately
manages all
aspects of
cohesion well
skilfully uses
uncommon
lexical items
but there may
be occasional
inaccuracies
in word
choice and
collocation
8
makes only
very
occasional
errors or
inappropriaci
es
Check out the
revision I have
made in the
conclusion
paragraph.
Try to incorporate
some less
commonly used
words/phrases in
your essay.
a) Caring courses
are vital for
children’s
development
b) For one thing,
for some
parents it is
unnecessary to
take these
courses