Conference
Sydney 2011 Secretary's Report
BIE Conference 2011
Traditions are a curious beast. Some come to being by a conscious decision, an agreement by certain
parties that this is the way things should be done. Others seem to evolve of their own accord, by the
necessity of repetition or best practice becoming ritualized over time. Yet a third type springs into
being by forces beyond the control of mere mortals. It is this final type that appears to be developing
for the Australasian Division of the BIE, specifically that each year during Conference it is ridiculously
hot! Now I'm not whinging for its own sake. I mean it is Australia in summer after all. But when I fly a
1000 kms south to arrive in a city hotter than the one I left you just have to wonder, as the kids
would say, what's the G-O?
Said city this year was of course Sydney, of Harbor Bridge and Opera House fame. Now it being our
turn we were once again lucky enough to have National President, this time Marshall Lindsay and his
charming wife Sylvia, joining us to share in the unrelenting heat wave. Now as a…err…respectable
member of the Board I am obliged to arrive a day early to get a few things finalized and deal with the
inevitable last minute registrations (I'm looking at you Fletcher!) and thus get the opportunity to
enjoy the President's company before the Conference proper gets started. How much this poor
unsuspecting Irish couple enjoyed my rough Aussie "charms" is open to debate but fortunately I had
Chairman Michael Hodges and Stewart Godwin(from one of our sponsors VM3) to cover my various
ham-fisted attempts at bon mots, faux pas and other French words I cannot pronounce properly. In
fact my epic failure at French in high school would come back to haunt me recurringly over the
weekend but more on that in due course.
None the less I had a most pleasant evening and was, for good or ill, back to my spritely self for the
introductory dinner at the Australian Steakhouse, which for those with an eye for detail, took place
on the evening of Friday the 4th February 2011. Now as it happened I had the great fortune (cynical
persons might imply it was planned so, but said cynical person must not have met me as planning is
not a commonly used descriptor of ye olde Duncan. In fact what those descriptors' are is probably
best not added in print in this worthy publication. But I digress… )to escort a large contingent of
Conference beauties in their very fine finery to the venue so before I even arrived my evening was
off to a great start. Of course my fine feathered flock dispersed upon arrival but there are worse
ways to wander the streets of Sydney, although retrospective apologies to said ladies-I forgot it's
harder to walk as swiftly encumbered by heels!
Now I won't bore the readership with an extended account the evening-parties are after all more fun
to attend than to hear about post facto. Suffice to say the place was lovely (thanks to our local
connect Julie Sinuks, one of the many people who do lots of the groundwork that I stand up and take
credit for at the AGM), the company good, my steak was as succulent as one would expect from a
place with steakhouse in the name and the chicken pretty flash too (thanks Jan! You're a star!), just a
few little speeches with everything else being good fellowship with familiar faces and fresh ones
alike (no to say that some of the familiar faces weren't very fresh as well!)
Saturday 5th dawned and we were off to the Sydney Eye Hospital, official registration and the start
of the educational sessions. We had the fortune to be in a purpose-built lecture lab inside a beautiful
antique (for Australia) sandstone building, so on the one hand we had a pristine steel, plastic and
glass teaching facility with a hundred year old painting of the Arthurian Grail Quest if you turned 180
degrees and looked up on the other.
After Chairman Hodges completed the obligatory welcomes and housekeeping President Lindsay
was given the honour of being the first speaker. Marshall gave us a short talk on himself and the
funeral business in Northern Ireland and I for one love hearing that lilt in the Irish tones. From accent
to accent next up was Philippe Dubresson who, with his wife Patricia, presented a video and lecture
on A Day in the Life of an Embalmer in France. I know it's a stereotype but everything does sound
better with a French accent, Philippe charmed the crowd from the get go and gave a very interesting
narration over the top of the pre-prepared footage. Embalming in the home is only a theory to most
of us in the Australasian Division and seeing it as routine is a very interesting look at how the other
half lives. Plus that cool Benny Hill music as the van scuttled about the country roads.
Jan Field was our next speaker up after the break, a familiar face to many of our long-term members.
A noted educator and ridiculously well-travelled woman her topic today was on the reconstruction
and restoration course she attended recently under the famous Vernie Fountain. I can say with no
sense of inadequacy that it looks like some very hard work indeed and as ever seeing such amazing
skills in action is as valuable as inspiration as it is for technical know-how. Local Melbourne legend
Bertram Dias followed her with a short open-style address concerning Sikh and Hindu funerals and a
few tales of funerals past to lead us into lunchtime. It was this on lunchtime that my lack of French
proved a critical failure, for I had an opportunity to sit down with another of our French guests,
Madame Dubresson, and the conversation we had over the language barrier (about the relative
merits of different fluids and the results obtained) made me wish I could have continued on to wider
topics. Ce la Vie!
Prof. Roger Byard was the speaker after the break, talking about death, decomposition and all the
shades, varieties and variations thereof. As a forensic pathologist with 1000's of cases to his credit
and an experienced lecturer to boot I must say I really enjoyed his slightly mischievous and
occasionally (pardon the pun) deadpanned approach to the topic. The final speaker for the day was
renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Phillip Griffin, who gave some interesting background into the origin of
his profession (originally to help the horribly disfigured servicemen coming back in WWII
incidentally) as well as some practical aspects for application suited to working embalmers. This was
followed by a practical session upon some (I must confess surprisingly appetizing) porcine tissue
sections to put the theory into practice. People often mention how easy it is to criticize and make
fun of one's fellows when they are trying a new technique in front of their peers but they always
neglect to say how much fun it is too! However I kept all my snarky comments sotto voce, received
no "accidental" needle-stick injuries as I wandered about the tables and the session eventually rolled
onto the AGM, which as ever the details of which are available via either Head Office or myself if one
is truly interested.
Saturday evenings venue was, if I might be allowed to blow my own Divisional horn (although
truthfully it was Julie again) pretty awesome. The location was the open rooftop of the Glenmore
Hotel in The Rocks District (Sydney's oldest), looking down upon the Harbour, a commanding view of
the Opera House, a much welcome wonderful breeze and a traditional Aussie BBQ as the stars began
to come out. Well as traditional a BBQ as you get with a proper chef instead of your drunken uncle
who believes in the charcoaling approach to food preparation. Even the smokers could stay with us,
being in the open air and the mammoth trip down the stairs to the men's facilities conspired keep
everybody close. As I remarked to several people on the eve itself it was a wonderfully homely and
Australian venue and felt a lot more suited to the heat and languor of the day than another airconditioned room. Well when I said it on the night I probably wasn't so articulate but I meant the
same feeling. Ah the stories I could tell! But Michael makes me promise not to, so I shall have to limit
it to saying was a pretty fun night for all concerned.
I think Philippe must have been gratified the next morning to see so many faces up and on time for
his lecture to commence the final days' proceedings for, as all seasoned Conference campaigners
know, there is always a marked drop in attendance at this particular session. I know we were all
gratified to see Philippe, Patricia and Josette smiling and resplendent in their Conference polo shirts.
Neither did Philippe disappoint, delivering an overview on Embalming in Europe, much of it based
upon personal experience in the countries involved as well as some asides about embalming in
North America and the Biocides directive. Annie Darley-Collis followed with a short video
presentation on repatriation cases and knew enough psychology to understand that before a break,
brief is better.
After the break our final speaker was Wesley Fisk. Now Wes is a bit of a Renaissance Man, with
many leaves to his laurels (a typical example is that he was once in charge of the very lab we were
currently occupying), but his topic today was concerning his work in creating advanced simulacra
bone and tissue limbs for work in creating more effective protection against landmines and IEDs. All
of this had led him down some curious roads, including several Discovery Channel programs, of
which we were privileged enough to see the end of one proving the single bullet theory in the JFK
assassination, complete with directors commentary ("They made me pronounce the word like
that!"). A great final speaker and perfect way to wrap up the Conference it was all now some official
final farewells from Michael and a few appropriately uncouth Australian gifts for our overseas
visitors it was all tearful goodbyes and racing for taxis as our happy delegates headed back off to
normality.
Duncan Norris
Sec. Aust. Div. B.I.E.
PS We will be holding the 2012 Conference in Melbourne. Care to join us?