Year 10 Director Study Essay General Feedback.
Explain the film techniques used by your director to represent aspects of the actionadventure/fantasy genre in TWO o your films.
Overall this task was attempted well by most students. Most people we able to demonstrate their understanding of the
action-adventure or fantasy genre and film techniques used by their relevant director. In addition to this, most students
wrote correctly using TEER paragraphs and the correct essay format – introduction, TEER body paragraphs and
conclusion. The essay plan was well utilised by most students with the majority of students receiving full marks for the
plan – well done. Also, you are in Year 10 now – please make sure you write your name clearly on EVERYTHING you
hand in! Below are some other general feedback comments on the essay task for you to consider:

The Question: the question asked you to EXPLAIN how film techniques were used to represent aspects of
the genre. Breaking this down, the question asked you to identify a film technique and explain how it
represented an aspect of the action-adventure/fantasy genre. This means that you need to refer to specific
elements of your genre, not just the genre yourself. According to the Board of Studies the word explain means
the following:
o Explain Relate cause and effect; make the relationships between things evident; provide
why and/or how

TEER Paragraphs: Always ensure that you use the TEER body paragraph structure correctly, remember
TEER is:
o T – Topic Sentence
o E – Examples
o E – Explanation
o R – Relate it back to the question or next paragraph.
Some TEER paragraphs were missing some of these elements, specifically the ‘Relate’. In addition to this,
when writing a TEER paragraph try not to jump from one film technique and/or element of the genre to
another. A number of students wrote paragraphs which discussed several film techniques in one paragraph –
try not to do this as it complicates the paragraph and makes it hard for the reader/marker to know what you
are trying to say/argue.

Thesis Statements: the majority of essays included a thesis statement. Just remember that the thesis
statement alone is not the introduction to your essay! Your thesis is what you will explore throughout your
essay so it should be clear for the reader to understand and follow. A good essay will continually refer back to
the thesis statement throughout the body paragraphs to show the reader/marker that they have a clear line of
argument/discussion.

Introductions: whilst there was not a space on the planning sheet for your introduction, this is one aspect of
the essay structure that some people had trouble writing. Remember your introduction should include your
thesis statement, an outline of what each body paragraph is about – these are the points that are directly
related to the main idea, or thesis statement, the texts and authors that will be analysed or discussed in
the essay and a concluding sentence of the paragraph. Finally, your introduction should draw the reader in
and show the reader exactly what you are going to discuss in your essay – this was not done very well by
some students.

Conclusions: there was space on your planning sheet to plan your conclusion. Remember that your
conclusion is not a restatement of your main points; it should be a statement that explains how your main
points have proved your argument.

Answering the Question: the question stated that you needed to explain the film techniques used to
represent aspects of the genre. This was answered well by most students – however, you still needed to link
the film technique to the aspect of genre and explain how the genre is represented in the film/s. In future,
make sure you connect the film technique to an aspect of the genre. Finally, please do not merely retell the
film – retelling the film does not answer the question and will not gain you any marks.

The difference between film techniques and aspects of the fantasy/action-adventure genre: a number
of students struggled to establish and identify the difference between film techniques and aspects of the
genre. For example setting, colour and costumes are not aspects of the genre – rather they are film
techniques used to represent an aspect of the genre.

Correct Language: in your essays you should use formal language. Unless otherwise stated, an essay
should never be written in first person (I, me, my etc.) as an essay is an academic piece of writing. Also in
your essay, you should not use contractions or abbreviations (e.g., don't, can't, won't, shouldn't, could've, or
haven't). Your essay should have a serious tone, even if it's written in a light or lyrical style.

Repetition: when writing your essay try not to repeat specific words or topic sentence throughout the essay.
On Moodle there is a word document in the Essay Writing Moodle course that contains useful conjunctions
and transition words – this would be a useful document to download and print. In addition to this, try to
demonstrate your knowledge by examining a range of film techniques and aspects of the genre throughout
your essay – also be specific e.g. do not just writing camera shots, be specific and ‘fantasy’ or ‘actionadventure’ is not an aspect of the genre!

Sentences and Paragraphs: in an essay it is important that you carefully manage the length of your
sentences and paragraphs. Extremely long sentences and paragraphs are difficult for the reader to read and
understand. In some essays there were single paragraphs that were one page in length (approx.). Sometimes
when you are writing quickly it is difficult to control the length of your sentences and paragraphs, but please
attempt to focus on this in future and your essay writing will improve. In addition to this, you did not have to
refer to TWO films in every paragraph – as long as you referred to two films throughout you essay you fulfilled
this aspect of the question. Finally, you were asked to write a minimum of 3 body paragraphs – students were
awarded marks based on the quality of the argument and structure of the paragraphs, not for how many
paragraphs in total were written.

Marking Breakdown:
Essay Plan:
 Students who received 5 / 5 completed a thorough essay plan, including a thesis, a minimum of 3 paragraphs
planned and the conclusion.
 Students who received 4 / 5 completed the plan, however they were missing either the thesis, paragraph
TEER planning or a conclusion plan. Students who also wrote limited notes on the plan, but still completed it
also received 4 marks.
 Students who did not make an attempt, or did not submit a plan at all received 0-2 marks. The plan was a
very simple way for ALL students to obtain 4 or 5 marks easily.
Essay Writing:
 Overall, the majority of students in Year 10 were placed in the C range of grades (12-14). Combined with the
essay plan this meant that the majority of students received a total of 16-19 marks out of a total of 25 – this
was rather impressive.
 A number of students demonstrated elements of the marking criteria across grades, with final grades being
averaged out based on how well the student attempted the essay assessment task.

Essay Writing Moodle Course: in the English section of the Wade High School Moodle you will find an
Essay Writing Moodle Course. This course contains useful documents and activities that will allow you to
improve your essay writing, especially when you are in Years 11 and 12. The course can be found at the
following
URL
address:
http://web1.wade-h.schools.nsw.edu.au/moodle/course/view.php?id=113
Year 10 Director Study Essay General Feedback – Student Samples.
The following are student examples from the essay task – they are not all examples of students who
received top marks – they are examples of quality introductions, TEER paragraphs and conclusions.
Year 10 Director Study Essay General Feedback – Essay Structure.
INTRODUCTION
Introduction

Topic Sentence

Thesis statement

Sub-points that will form the basis of each
the body paragraphs

Concluding sentence
Body Paragraph 1
For each BODY paragraph
o
Topic Sentence
o
Evidence/Example
o
Explanation
o
Relate
Body Paragraph 2
Body paragraph 3
Conclusion
CONCLUSION

Topic Sentence

Explains how your main points have
proven your argument