Episcopal Church and Student Center
1309 R Street * Lincoln, NE 68508 * (402) 474-1979 * www.stmarks-episcopal.org
Father Jerry Thompson
St. Mark’s on the Campus Episcopal Church
GOOD FRIDAY
April 18, 2014
Yesterday when I was getting ready for that wonderful liturgy we had last night, I was listening to a novel when I heard the following words: “When you love someone, it doesn’t really matter if they love you back. . . .Having love in your heart for someone is its own reward. Or punishment, depending on the circumstances.” ( Beautiful Lies , Lisa Unger) The context for the character’s words is her love for her brother. He is an addict living on the streets, destroying his own life after causing significant pain for his family. That’s especially for his parents, but it’s also true for his sister, the character speaking the words I just quoted. “Having love in your heart for someone is its own reward. “Or punishment, depending on the circumstances.”
These words seem applicable this evening, especially when we remember that everything Jesus undergoes this day arises out of the love he carries within his heart for us , the love that moves in the heart of God for all of creation. The love that dwells in God – is God, as St. John would have it – when circumstances reward that love and when circumstances pierce that love with a sword. When creation brings happiness and laughter to the heart of God, and when creation – when we – bring God’s heart pain and sorrow. The circumstances never change the love of Christ for that which He has given life, brought into existence, and those with whom he has walked.
When Jesus sees the soldiers arrive in the garden to arrest him
– knowing all that would happen to him, he steps forward and he

asks the soldiers, “Whom are you looking for?” (Although, of course, being God, he never would have ended a question with a preposition.)
“For whom are you looking?” The soldiers reply, “Jesus of
Nazareth.” Jesus tells them, “I am he.” Jesus identifies himself. John uses the Greek phrase ego eimi to have Jesus respond to the soldiers’ question. The phrase means “I am he,” in other words “I am Jesus, the one for whom you’re looking.” The phrase also means simply, “I am.” This latter translation echoes God’s self-revelation to Moses, “I am who I am.”
That’s why the police step back and fall down when Jesus says “I am he,” Or, “I am.” John apparently wants to underscore God’s presence in Jesus instilling awe among those who are arresting him. I am. I am who I am. I am being itself. I am existence itself.
The Christian tradition has affirmed throughout the centuries that the Logos, what we translate as the Word - The Word of God made incarnate in Jesus is the source of existence for all that is, for all of life, for all that is created. So in response to
“knowing all that is to happen to him,” as John states of Jesus, knowing the suffering and torture and death that awaits him – in response, Jesus willingly identifies himself, and in doing so, he affirms life, he affirms existence, in the face of those who want to deny him existence, and thereby deny him further influence in their world.
But the love of God will not be denied. The heart of God is constant, when it is rewarding, and when it is punishing. The constancy of God’s love stands in stark contrast to our own love,
Uneven, inconsistent, imperfect. That’s exhibited not only by those who actively want to put Jesus to death but by many others in our gospel story, too - most vividly, by Peter himself, “the rock” on whom Christ builds his church. Others in the courtyard say to Peter, “You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you? “Did I not see you in the garden with Jesus?” “No, I’m not.
“No, you didn’t see me.” “I don’t follow him! I’m not his disciple!” I am not. I am not his follower. I am not the

person you saw in the garden. No. I am not. I am not. I am not.
Ouk eimi . The Greek is a simple negation of “I am.” I am not.
Peter denies Jesus. And in denying Jesus, he denies life, he denies existence. He denies who he is, who God has created him to be.
It’s all very much the same, isn’t it? When any of us deny the heart of love from which we emerge, we are denying the people
God created us to be, formed in God’s image. Formed as children of God with hearts of love, Made from love, Made to be love Made to enact love. When loving is rewarding. And when it’s punishing. To do otherwise is to deny our very existence.
Remember the words I quoted at the beginning from that novel?
Remember that the context is a sister who is talking about the love she has for her brother, a brother who is addicted to heroin.
“When you love someone, it doesn’t really matter if they love you back.” In one sense, yes, that’s true; we receive the rewards and we suffer the punishment – whether or not our love is returned.
But in another sense, it does matter, and it matters very much.
For when God’s love is not returned, creation suffers. And when love within creation is not returned, God suffers. The two are not separate. By God’s grace, they dwell in communion. The same heart keeps them both beating.
Jesus tells us that what is not of God will not, finally, last.
That it will be overcome in the end,
That what denies existence will finally not exist any longer.
And yes, that’s very comforting to those of us working on behalf of the kingdom. But, in the meantime, too many crosses are out there. It’s our job, as people of love – as people of God – To pick them up and follow Jesus, with all the love we can muster.
Amen.