Thesis
The word “thesis” is central to college-level writing, to the point that it can trigger feelings of dread and
frustration in many students. However, the term “thesis” has great applicability outside of college (and
outside of academia itself); in fact, a thesis can be defined as any idea that is put forth as an argument to be
proved. For example, you may be having a friendly argument with a peer who claims that the Star Wars
prequels are better than the original trilogy; he might support his thesis by pointing out that the effects are
better, the scope of the films is broader, and the tragic story arc of the lead character is more gripping than
anything in the original trilogy. While he may not actually describe his assertion as a “thesis,” it nevertheless
fits the definition.
In academia, the “thesis” refers to the idea that you are putting forward, but the “thesis statement” or “thesis
sentence” refers to the specific words, phrases, and structural patterns that you use to convey that idea. It is
usually easier to come up with the former than the latter; after all, ideas are abstract and amorphous, while
sentences are rigid and structured. Sometimes, finding the best words to convey your thesis can be very
difficult; for many students, the thesis statement is the most difficult sentence in the entire paper. This
handout will give you some tips for how to overcome these challenges and create successful thesis
statements.
Thesis Sentence vs. Thesis Statement
Firstly, it is useful to consider that a “thesis sentence” places a bit more pressure on you as a writer:
encapsulating your thesis in a single sentence may prove difficult. Still, the ability to convey a meaningful
and analytical thesis in a clear, succinct sentence is an important skill for you to cultivate as a college-level
writer. However, if you need more than one sentence to articulate your thesis, you think of your thesis as a
“statement” as opposed to a “sentence.” Try to confine your thesis to 1-2 sentences (especially in short
papers), but remember that it is okay to write a longer thesis statement if you are having trouble
encapsulating your argument in 1 or 2 sentences.
Conceptualizing the Thesis
As mentioned above, writing the thesis sentence can be very difficult, but it is helpful to come up with a
working thesis statement, even if you are unable to find the best words yet or if the sentence is awkwardly
structured or phrased. You can always go back and revise the thesis statement, but it is very important to
have a working thesis down on paper before you begin writing your supporting paragraphs. The thesis
sentence will theoretically be based on a prompt or essay questions created by your professor; however,
sometimes a professor gives you free reign with a topic, and you must conceptualize the thesis without a
question to guide you. Also, in the case of a research paper, it is usually helpful to conduct extensive
research before you develop your thesis sentence. Building a foundation of knowledge about a topic is
important if you wish to create a specific and logical argument about that topic.
In any case, it is important to have a working thesis in front of you when you begin drafting your outline,
and of course, when you begin writing your supporting paragraphs. By creating a thesis, you will be able
to:
1) focus your thinking: a thesis guides your thought process during the pre-writing and writing
stages.
2) stay on track while writing: similarly, a thesis gives you a focal point for your argument and
for your supporting paragraphs; each paragraph should connect back to the thesis.
3) think about your reader: the thesis statement is a promise you make to the reader – it is what
your reader will take away from the paper. By creating the thesis, you can think from the
perspective of both the writer and the reader, and make certain that your paper fulfills your promise
to your reader.
A thesis usually has two parts:
•
Topic: states the subject of the essay
•
Comment: states what you will prove about that subject
Without a comment, a thesis is merely a topic sentence—there is no argument being offered. This
is fine for writing an overview or a book report, it is insufficient for an argumentative essay.
Without a specific topic, a comment (or argument) is impossible. You need to have a clear
understanding of the topic (and a solid base of knowledge about the topic) before you can form an
opinion on it and build an argument around it.
Consider this example: “In The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli puts forth a political philosophy that is far
more complex and sophisticated than the popular understanding of the word “Machiavellian” implies.”
1) Topic (what the paper is about): Machiavelli’s political philosophy
2) Comment (what the paper will prove about this topic): Machiavelli’s political philosophy is frequently
oversimplified and misrepresented.
This is an effective working thesis: it establishes a clear topic and a comment about that topic, though it
could probably be a bit more specific (it might be useful for the writer to establish HOW Machiavelli’s
philosophy is complex and sophisticated, or to DEFINE what the word “Machiavellian” implies). Still, it
gives the writer a clear goal: he or she must structure the essay in such a way as to prove that people
oversimplify Machiavelli’s political philosophy, and that the man’s actual philosophy is more complex than
most people think.
The Qualities of a Good Thesis Statement
A good thesis statement has four major characteristics:
1) Specific as possible in wording and ideas: always try to be specific with both the purpose of the
argument and the words you use to define the argument. Avoid abstract words, general terms, or
vague ideas
2) Potentially interesting to your intended audience: a good thesis should capture the interest of your
readers. Avoid “fact-based” theses that simply provide the reader with information. Raise the stakes
of the argument by making a dynamic and insightful claim.
3) Limits the topic to make it manageable: a thesis should not try to tackle an issue from every side,
nor should it deal with an overly complicated subject. Focus in on a specific element of the topic
and keep the paper manageable.
4) Debatable (leaving room for counterarguments): make sure that your argument is debatable.
Remember, you are presenting an argumentative claim, not a fact.
Consider this thesis:
“In The Prince, Machiavelli states that fear is more important than love when governing a country.”
•
Interesting? –This thesis does not tell the reader anything new, nor does it provide insightful
commentary about Machiavelli’s philosophy.
•
Specific? – The thesis focuses on a specific element of Machiavelli’s philosophy, but it does not
make a specific claim.
•
Manageable? – The thesis is manageable, but only because the topic is so straightforward. The
writer is setting up an overview of part of Machiavelli’s philosophy as opposed to offering an
argument about that philosophy.
•
Arguable? – The thesis fails to present an argument. Instead, it presents a fact.
Now, consider this thesis:
“Machiavelli’s political philosophy is wrong.”
In some ways, this is a significant improvement upon the previous thesis because it presents an
argumentative assertion: the reader is taking a position in regard to Machiavelli. Still, this thesis does not
meet most of our criteria for a successful thesis:
•
Interesting? – The writer is disagreeing with Machiavelli, which could lead to an interesting
argument, though the thesis does not provide enough detail to capture the reader’s interest.
•
Specific? – The thesis is too broad. It tackles a very broad subject—“Machiavelli’s political
philosophy”—and it uses a very broad term to critique it—“wrong.” Is it morally wrong? Logically
wrong? What does the writer mean by “wrong”?
•
Manageable? – The thesis is rather unmanageable. As noted, it deals with a very broad subject, and
it does not define “wrongness” concretely enough to guide the writer’s supporting paragraphs.
•
Arguable? – The thesis presents an argument, albeit a vague one; still, the writer is on the right
track by making a debatable claim (others might argue that Machiavelli was right.)
Consider the list of theses below; each one is an improvement on its predecessor. This list is meant to
simulate how you might begin with your subjective response to a text or prompt, and then, using critical
thinking, build toward a more objective, analytical, argumentative thesis statement:
1) Machiavelli’s political philosophy is wrong. – As noted above, this thesis does not meet our
criteria; it is too vague, too broad, and lacking in details.
2) Machiavelli’s political philosophy, as documented in The Prince, is problematic for several
reasons. – This thesis is a bit stronger than the previous version. It replaces “wrong” with
“problematic” (which is a more specific term), and it establishes that there are reason for the
disagreement, even though it does not list the reasons; unlike the first version, the disagreement
with Machiavelli has a basis in actual issues as opposed to its being based on the reader’s response
or feelings. This thesis is setting up an objective argument as opposed to a subjective response
paper.
3) Machiavelli’s political philosophy, as documented in The Prince, is problematic because it
promotes selfishness, tyranny, and cruelty. – The writer is now listing specific issues that he or
she disagrees with in Machiavelli. He or she seems to be setting up a 5-paragraph essay, one that
will cover the three vices listed above: selfishness, tyranny, and cruelty. Still, selfishness, tyranny,
and cruelty are fairly big, broad concepts. It might be helpful for the writer to narrow the focus of
the paper further.
4) Machiavelli’s political philosophy, as documented in The Prince, is problematic because of its
emphasis on the self-interest of political leaders. – Here, the writer has chosen to focus on one
specific problem in Machiavelli’s political philosophy: selfishness. Moreover, he or she has
attributed that selfishness to a specific group: political leaders. The focus of the paper is now much
tighter and more controlled.
5) Machiavelli’s political philosophy, as documented in The Prince, is problematic because of its
emphasis on the self-interest of political leaders; leaders should seek to serve something larger
than themselves, but Machiavelli’s prince seeks only to preserve his own power. – Here, the
writer takes the thesis one step further by actually defining WHY the self-interest of political
leaders (as discussed by Machiavelli) is problematic. This is a dynamic and interesting thesis
because the writer is outlining specific terms for the argument: he or she has put forth a description
of what a leader SHOULD do, and set it in contrast to what Machiavelli’s prince does.
6) Machiavelli’s political philosophy, as documented in The Prince, is problematic because of its
rejection of noble virtues in favor of practical self-interests. Instead of aspiring to serve a
higher ideal, Machiavelli’s prince conspires to preserve his own power and wealth. – This
thesis is even stronger than the previous version, mainly because of how it is worded. The writer
creates a wonderful sense of balance in the thesis by using parallelism (“noble virtues” vs. “practical
self-interests”; “aspiring to serve a higher ideal” vs. “conspires to preserve his own power.”
Here is another list of theses:
1) On Game of Thrones, many characters have a Machiavellian view of power. – This thesis
makes an interesting observation, but it does not really indicate why that observation is significant,
nor does it address any of the larger consequences regarding the Machiavellian characters on the
TV series.
2) On Game of Thrones, many characters, such as Tywin, Littlefinger, and Tyrion, have a
Machiavellian view of power. – Here the writer is providing some examples, but the thesis is still
lacking somewhat in terms of its argumentative strength. The reader is not quite sure what the writer
intends to prove. Here again, the writer seems to be setting up a fairly broad 5-paragraph essay.
3) On Game of Thrones, Tyrion Lannister has a Machiavellian view of power. – Here, the writer
has narrowed the focus to just one character (probably the most interesting of the three characters.)
Since Tyrion Lannister is viewed by many fans as a “good guy,” the writer is making a fairly bold
claim by labeling Tyrion as Machiavellian.
4) Though many fans of the series Game of Thrones view Tyrion Lannister as a sympathetic
character, he takes a Machiavellian approach to governance. – This thesis establishes that the
writer is taking a dynamic and unique position. By indicating that “many fans” like Tyrion, the
writer is defining his or her thesis in contrast to what most people expect or believe, which can
make for an interesting argument. Moreover, instead of describing the “view of power” as
Machiavellian, the writer is now focusing on the “approach to governance.” Focusing on the
“approach to governance” will allow the writer to be more specific in his or her assessment of
Tyrion’s character (“view of power” is more abstract and less tangible).
5) Though many fans of the series Game of Thrones view Tyrion Lannister as a sympathetic
character, Tyrion actively supports a tyrannical and psychotic king, willingly ignores an
incestuous conspiracy to destroy a dynasty, and constantly puts practical goals over higher
ideals. His actions are therefore Machiavellian. – Here, the writer goes one step further by
establishing Tyrion’s Machiavellian activities. These are the supporting examples that will likely
dominate the supporting paragraphs. Like in the second thesis, the writer is setting up a 5- paragraph
essay, but he or she is now doing so in a much more focused way.
6) Though many fans of the series Game of Thrones view Tyrion Lannister as a sympathetic
character, his willingness to ignore moral codes and reject virtuous ideals for the sake of
preserving his own family’s power makes him a Machiavellian character. – This thesis is meant
to provide a somewhat “cleaner” version of the previous thesis. Instead of listing all of the
examples, it simply uses one sentence to summarize how the examples are connected (all of the
examples show that Tyrion will compromise morality for the sake of keeping the Lannisters in
power). Either of the two theses would work, but this one is a little bit less overwhelming than the
previous version. Then again, if the writer wishes to provide the reader with a “road map” of the
examples that will follow in the supporting paragraphs, he or she might want to use the previous
thesis.
One important thing to consider: it would be difficult to come up with the final version of the thesis during
the pre-writing phase. As you write the draft, new ideas will come to you, and the thesis will need to evolve.
Furthermore, writing the thesis sentence requires that you consider things like word choice, sentence
structure, phrasing, etcetera. It is perfectly acceptable to begin writing with a working thesis (for example,
numbers 4 in both of the above lists could make for effective working thesis), and then, after you have
finished your draft, to go back and revise your thesis.