Postmortem of The Great Gatsby
Diagnostic Timed Writing
Prompt:
Read the following passage from The Great Gatsby carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how
Fitzgerald uses language to convey his view(s) of society. You might consider word choice, sentence
structure, figurative language, etc. Your understanding of the entire novel should inform your argument,
but the focus of the essay must be your analysis of the excerpt below.
[This was followed by one of two passages from the novel.]
Ideal Process:
 Step 1: Read and analyze the passage
 Step 2: Decide what Fitzgerald’s view(s) of society actually is (are).
 Step 3: Settle on 2-3 things he is doing with language in this excerpt that help him get that view across
 Step 4: Write an insightful, eloquent, well-developed essay
Note: If you flip steps 2 and 3, you often end up picking minor rhetorical strategies that
aren’t crucial to the author getting his views across.
Thesis Tips:
 If your thesis went something like “Fitzgerald uses ___, ____, and ____ to get across his view of
society,” that left me immediately asking “What IS his view of society?”. Make sure you are
specific when you state the author’s purpose in the thesis.
 If you wrote “Fitzgerald uses diction and syntax to get across his view across,” what you literally
just said was “Fitzgerald uses words and puts them in some order” to accomplish his purpose. You
need to add some sort of qualifier to “diction” or “syntax” to make any kind of an argument.
 Likewise “descriptive language” is not much better. What does that mean? If you say “imagery”
or “metaphors,” what KIND of imagery or metaphors? Try to be specific so that we can see the
link between strategy and view of society.
 It would be awesome if you had some idea what Fitzgerald was trying to say about society.
Reading the book probably would have helped with that. Just saying.
 A few strong examples:
- Thesis 1:
- Thesis 2:
- Thesis 3:
Notes on Evidence:
 You, uh, need it. A lot of it, in fact. Many of these essays never even quoted from or referenced the passage
provided. This isn’t APUSH. You MUST quote from the passage!
 Regurgitating plot or what you gleaned from Sparknotes does not count as evidence.
 Avoid summary. Many times when people brought in information from elsewhere in the book, there was no
specific evidence, just unsupported generalizations.
 Once you quote, you must analyze. Don’t just rephrase the quotation or tell me what it means. Your job is not
to translate for me (I read English just fine, thanks). Your job is to explain WHY the author says what he does
in the WAY he does.
 Don’t make claims or assertions, give an example or two, and then move on. You must explain HOW such
and such is doing what you claim it is. You can’t just SAY that it is. I can SAY that I am the world’s best
Tango dancer, but that doesn’t make it so.
 Try to pick rhetorical strategies that are crucial to helping the author accomplish his purpose.
 A couple of strong examples:
 Paragraph excerpt 1:

Paragraph excerpt 2:
Notes on Structure:
 Your introduction should not be lengthy. A sentence or two to summarize the author’s argument can be useful
at times, but then get right to the thesis. Your introduction in AP Analysis essays can actually be JUST the
thesis.
 I am sure that your APUSH teachers will be glad to know that you remember what was going on in the 1920s,
but you don’t need to rehash all of that in your introduction! Some of you went beyond this, too, and basically
vomited everything you knew about the 1920s into the body of the paper as well. Ick!
 For the love of all things holy, avoid quoting MLK or Death Cab for Cutie (or anyone else, for that matter) in
your intro. They are irrelevant to your argument.
 Topic sentences. Remember those? Use them.
 Evidence. You need that, too. A lot of it. Specific evidence that you cite from the passage and then analyze.
Not, like, you know, generalizations you throw around and never support.
 Also, um, use paragraphs. If you write in one big block, your essay will not pass, because the AP graders will
not consider than an “essay.”
Mechanics and format:
 Contractions (can’t, won’t, don’t, etc.) should be avoided in formal academic writing.
 it’s = it is (it’s probably going to rain) ; its = possessive pronoun (its snout was hideous)
 R.A.V.E.N. ( Remember Affect is a Verb and Effect is a Noun) about 99.3% of the time.
 There is no such word as “alot.” You can have a lot of homework. You can allot a lot of your time to playing
video games. You can skateboard in a vacant lot. But you cannot have “alot” of anything.
 there = adverb (my ladle is over there); their = possessive pronoun (their lymph nodes are mush)
 Please indent the first sentence of each paragraph. Many people did not indent the introduction. Also, all
paragraphs should be indented the same amount. Some people indented each successive paragraph more and
more—almost all the way to the right margin by the time the last paragraph came around!
 Never use first or second person in an analytical essay.
 Please don’t use words that you aren’t confident about. I saw a lot of misused words that really changed the
meaning of sentences or made them incoherent. Using high-level diction can backfire when you don’t really
know the words or their connotations. Also, ahem, made up words? Avoid those.
The Good Stuff:
 Most of these essays were on point and stayed in an analytical mode. Yippee!
 Most had a recognizable thesis and were fairly well organized. Wahoo!
 Many had observant things to say. Hip-hip-hooray!
But…all had room for improvement. I’d suggest you review these comments before the next timed writing
so that you can write stronger essays in the future!