A TRIBUTE TO THE JAMES At last they are lauded, and loudly applauded King DJ and his stellar Queen Had they stayed on tour, never knocked on our door Good Heavens! Where would Southbroom have been? For 17 years, they’ve given blood sweat and tears To the likes of you, darlings, and me And they even found time, their genes to combine Here are Courtney and Connor … you see … They’re The James. He’s a father, a brother, a player, a coach A husband, a son, and sometimes a roach Dressed in purple with proboscis on high He’s been Jan, he’s been Tiger, Done Elvis and Mick Don’t want to rhyme there … he’s a monk in this trick Always willing to serve and to entertain And he never lets on when you’re being a pain She’s the caddie that toured until pregnant she fell She’s the sister, the friend that runs the Pro Shop so well She’s a wife and a mother from morning till dusk And she’s also a well known provider of rusks or muffins ….. and all colours league With ever an ear for that bit of intrigue She’s the Kodak Kid, takes pics of us all And she doesn’t even follow the little white ball And now in his prime at sweet fifty-three This King Derek James, who exactly is he? What are his credentials in this game of old?? An amazing achiever, here’s what I’ve been told: Derek James was the leading amateur in The 1980 South African Masters He made his provincial debut for the Western Province while in the Navy (hello sailor!) King DJ also represented Transvaal and Natal He played in three British Amateurs The World Amateur in Switzerland in 1982 And he represented South Africa as a Springbok (woohoo, hello Jan) on five occasions Before turning Professional in 1984 Among his many achievements on tour, King DJ won: The Tournament Players Championship in Canada Three tournaments in America including the Holy Oak Pro Am (of course he is the holy oke, you’ll see him tonight, monk-eying around, right here, the late show, wait and see) Eight tournaments on the South African Winter Tour and He came second to Ernie Els in the 1992 South African Open King Derek retired prematurely from the tour in 1997 (Because of his ejaculations, I told you already!) And the Tour’s loss was absolutely Southbroom’s gain Derek has served the Board of the SA PGA Was named Teacher of the Year in 2008 (he’s still that, we all know that) and He was the first PGA Professional to win both the Club Pro of the Year and the teacher’s award in the same year, 2002 (He’s still the Club Pro of the Year. Dammit man. Do they know from nothing or what?) King DJ teaches many hours a week (He does our Ladies Clinic on Tuesdays) He is an expert in every aspect of the swing And is best known as a short-game coach (Its the short-strokes that count ….he-he-he) And, Queen Sheen?? She’s the lumbar, thoracic, cervical, the spine The backbone of all that we treasure divine The Golf Club, the Pro Shop, the post box, the phone The hub of the village, the queen of her home. And would you believe that she started in teeth? Can make all our dentures, our crowns and relief Wide eyed from Zimbabwe, a young girl she came Met DJ and quickly learnt all of his game She’s caddied the world, fifty tournaments or more And still “caddies” today for her family of four To Courtney sweet red-head and Connor the boff You must be real proud to be made of such stuff And tonight we pay tribute to each one of you You’re special, you’re kind, you’re giving and true You’re The James. Southbroom Ladies Amateur Classic 2013 – The 10th Anniversary