Writing
Self Definition/Description
Paragraphs
7/10
See comments below…
A good paragraph includes:
 A Topic Sentence – include a clear topic with a focused guiding statement.
 Detail Sentences – use details that include examples from your life.
 Logical Order – Paragraph support should follow the order created by the topic sentence
to help the reader understand the main idea.
Topic Sentence
Supporting/Detail Sentences
Personality Trait Explanation
Connection to Content
Topic
Controlling Statement
Transitions (only if there is a previous
paragraph)
Concluding sentences are often included in longer paragraphs or to transition to the
next paragraph.
Throughout my life, I have become an independent person due to my birth order. At
the age of 18, I left home alone to go away to university. After school, I moved to China for
two years to experience new things on my own. Once I had accumulated new experiences on
my own, I decided to establish a profession in Thailand, an unfamiliar country with
unfamiliar culture and people. This independency can be attributed to my status as a
youngest/only child. Being younger than my siblings, I grew up with parents who gave me
the freedom to do many things. However, due to a large difference between my siblings and
myself, I matured much like an only child because my parents taught me to rely on myself.
Growing up in such a family led me to become the independent person I am today.
Directions: Highlight the explanation concept and underline the examples/details.
The university I went to provided me the cultural background that helped me become
a focused individual. Throughout my study at the university, I had many professors who
taught me the benefits of being disciplined to achieve my goal. The university’s faculty
continually reinforced the value of focusing on assignments to pass my assessments. After I
left college, I retained the knowledge I received from my classes. However, the greatest
lesson I learned came from the cultural atmosphere my professor’s provided me. Today, I
still practice this important lesson by focusing on one part of my job to achieve bigger goals.
For example, I want my students to succeed in academics and life. Therefore, I focus on
creating interesting, applicable lessons for students, so they will learn the skills and
knowledge required of them.
Personal Paragraphs:
Writing Prompt: In the near future, you will be applying to enter universities. Many
universities in the United States want to know what type of person you are before accepting
your application. Write three paragraphs that explain three of your personal traits you wrote
about in your Personality Journal. In each paragraph, describe the trait that represents you
Writing
by giving an example from your life and explain how you developed that trait based on one
of the four influences we have studied in class.
Your paragraphs are a bit confusing. I say this because you seem to start with a topic and a
controlling statement, which is good. However, your support seems to ignore these to
aspects and begins to focus on different ideas. You need to stay focused throughout the
paragraph. We call this developing unity in the paragraph.
Since I’m a Wednesday child, who was born in the middle in sequence, I have one
older brother and one younger sister. Only write about how you display Wednesday child
characteristics. Therefore, I automatically am both older and younger brother in my siblings’
points of view. Basically, the older brother is the one who can share and give everything to
the younger. On the other hand, the little brother is the one who pays respect to the elder. So I
have to play both of the roles. This factor affects my personality in which I have to be a giver
who has to pay respect to other at the same time. Anyway, being a Wednesday child doesn’t
cause any effect from my parents because they give love to their children equally. As a
consequence, I don’t feel any unfairness from being a middle child.
Since a middle child has to be a giver and a respectful person at the same time, which
might cause me to lose many loving things to my siblings. Only write about how you are
respectful and how this is influenced by your siblings. In this case, my parents treat we all
equally. The heredity I get from parents is equal to the one of my siblings. For instance, we
own our rooms, get equal amount of money, and share everything no matter how we’re relate
to each other. Although I was born in the middle, it doesn’t affect on the amount of heredity
that parents give us.
According to Thai tradition, it is stated that a middle child has to be the one who lose
things to siblings. Only write about how Thai culture develops your characteristic of losing
things. The reason is that a middle child is the giver to the younger, and has to follow the
orders of the elder in order to show respect as well. In my family, all siblings treat each other
with respect no matter what our birth sequences are. We are able to give each other the things
they want, help when they need, and respect them equally. The culture doesn’t how we
behave to each other since no one can choose what to be born with.