Writing Technical
Papers in English
Marilyn Tremaine
1
Overview of Presentation
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Overall Paper Organization
General Principles of Readability
Writing Good Paragraphs
-----------Stops Here ----------------Creating Flow Between Paragraphs
Editing
2
Overall Paper
Organization
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•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Title
Abstract
Introduction
Literature Review
-----------------Stops Here-------------Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusion
3
The Paper Title
• Good Title Characteristics
• Examples of Good and Bad Titles
• Clever Titles
4
Good Title
Characteristics
• Says precisely what the paper is
about
• Is short
• Does not have multiple sub-clauses
5
Examples of Good Titles
• Impact of Information Technology on
Agricultural Commodity Auctions in India
– Tells readers precisely what paper is about
• A Review of Component-Based Software
Development
– Short, to the point
6
Examples of Bad Titles
• Mobilizing Informational Social Capital in
Cyber Space: Online Social Networks and
Knowledge Sharing
– Not clear what will be in paper
– Multiple possibilities presented in title
• Rewrite
– Online Social Networks and Knowledge Sharing
7
Examples of Bad Titles
• Knowledge Acquisition Through ComputerMediated Discussions: Potential of
Semantic Network Representations and
Effect of Conceptual Facilitation
Restrictiveness
– Too long
– Tries to say everything that is in paper
• Rewrite
– Semantic Network Representations for Knowledge
Acquisition in Computer-Mediated Discussions
8
Clever Titles
• Tendency in IS to write clever titles
• Form
– Well-known idiom: real title that translates idiom in new
way
• Bad Examples
– “Share and share alike: exploring the user interface
affordances of file sharing”
– “To have and to hold: exploring the personal archives”
• Titles are not humorous
• Initial phrase only adds to length of title
• Does not provide new information
9
Clever Titles
• However, some titles done well in this
fashion immediately “sell” the paper
• Examples of good “clever” titles
– “Alone together?”: exploring the social
dynamics of massively multiplayer online games
– Pride and prejudice: learning how chronically ill
people think about food
• Initial phrase sets up a context that adds to meaning
in title
• Initial phrase is a surprise
10
Clever Titles
• General Rules of Usage
– If you do not feel comfortable enough
with idiomatic English, do not use
– Can be used in following fashion
• Higher level theme: sub theme of paper
• Name of software system: description of
the system’s purpose
11
Problem: Generate
PaperTitles from Abstracts
• Count number of words
– Less is better
• Count number of clauses
– Less is better
• Does title accurately describe paper?
• Is title specific?
12
Abstract 1
SUGGESTED TITLES – pick best one
• A Proposal to Measure the Impact of Culturally-Based Perception of Time
in Distributed Software Development Teams
• Software Development in Distant Groups: A Gap-Analysis of CulturallyBased Perceptions of Time
• Global Software Development: A Proposal to Measure the Impact of
Temporal-Cultural Differences
• A Proposal to Measure the Impact of Temporal Cultural Differences on
Team Performance in Distributed Software Development
• Global Software Development: Modeling Temporal Cultural Differences and
their Effect on Team Performance
• Modeling the Impact of Spatial Separation on Team Performance in the
Software Development Groups
• Cultural Differences in Temporal Perceptions and its Application to Running
Efficient Software Teams
13
Abstracts 2 and 3
ACTUAL TITLES
• Where is “it?” Event Synchronization in
Gaze-Speech Input Systems
• Incidental Information Exchange: A
Measure for Assessing the Effect of
Mediated Communication in Work
Relationships
14
Overall Paper
Organization
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Title - 
Abstract
Introduction
Literature Review
------------------Stops Here-------------Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusion
15
The Abstract
•
•
•
•
Purpose
What Should be in an Abstract?
Common Problems
Difference between Abstract and
Introduction
• Examples
– Good abstracts
– Poor abstracts
16
Purpose of Abstract
• Get paper accepted
– When a reviewer reads your paper they form
an image of what it is about from the title and
the abstract
– The reviewer uses this impression to interpret
the rest of the information in the paper
– If the abstract is disorganized or incomplete,
this will leave reviewer with initial impression
of paper that may be hard to change
17
Purpose of Abstract
• Get paper cited by others
– Researchers are busy people
– Often they do not read entire papers, only the
abstract
– A good abstract will help a busy researcher to
skim your paper, and possibly get you cited
– Many search programs do a keyword in context
search so that words in abstract help your
paper to be found
18
Purpose of Abstract
• Help readers build a good picture of
what is in your paper
– Useful for individuals reviewing papers
they have read
– Useful for individuals searching for a
particular piece of evidence
– Helps with the reading of a complex
paper
19
What Should be in an
Abstract?
• An abstract should briefly:
– Establish the topic of the research
– State the research problem or main
objective of paper
– Indicate the methods used
– Present the main research findings
– Present the paper’s conclusions
20
Topic of Research
• The long-term performance of various systems
was determined and the economic aspects of solar
hot water production were investigated in this
work. The effect of the collector inclination angle, collector area
and storage volume was examined for all systems, and various
climatic conditions and their payback period was calculated. It was
found that the collector inclination angle does not have a
significant effect on system performance. Large collector areas
have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The
increase in storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily
load volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily
consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive when
the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should
not replace diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load
volumes and large collector areas are in general associated with
shorter payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and
are economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.
21
Objective of Paper
•
The long-term performance of various systems was determined
and the economic aspects of solar hot water production
were investigated in this work. The effect of the collector
inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was examined
for all systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback
period was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination
angle does not have a significant effect on system performance.
Large collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s
overall efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a
detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial
one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was
found to be truly competitive when the conventional fuel being
substituted is electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on
pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector
areas are in general associated with shorter payback periods.
Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable
for large daily hot water load volumes.
22
Methods Used
•
The long-term performance of various systems was determined
and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were
investigated in this work. The effect of the collector
inclination angle, collector area and storage volume was
examined for all systems, and various climatic conditions
and their payback period was calculated. It was found that
the collector inclination angle does not have a significant effect on
system performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing
effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in storage
volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load volumes, but a
beneficial one when there is a large daily consumption. Solar
energy was found to be truly competitive when the conventional
fuel being substituted is electricity, and it should not replace
diesel oil on pure economic grounds. Large daily load volumes and
large collector areas are in general associated with shorter
payback periods. Overall, the systems are oversized and are
economically suitable for large daily hot water load volumes.
23
Main Research Findings
•
The long-term performance of various systems was determined
and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were
investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination
angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all
systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period
was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination
angle does not have a significant effect on system
performance. Large collector areas have a diminishing
effect on the system’s overall efficiency. The increase in
storage volume has a detrimental effect for small daily load
volumes, but a beneficial one when there is a large daily
consumption. Solar energy was found to be truly competitive
when the conventional fuel being substituted is electricity,
and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic
grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas
are in general associated with shorter payback periods.
Overall, the systems are oversized and are economically suitable
for large daily hot water load volumes.
24
Conclusions
•
The long-term performance of various systems was determined
and the economic aspects of solar hot water production were
investigated in this work. The effect of the collector inclination
angle, collector area and storage volume was examined for all
systems, and various climatic conditions and their payback period
was calculated. It was found that the collector inclination angle
does not have a significant effect on system performance. Large
collector areas have a diminishing effect on the system’s overall
efficiency. The increase in storage volume has a detrimental
effect for small daily load volumes, but a beneficial one when
there is a large daily consumption. Solar energy was found to be
truly competitive when the conventional fuel being substituted is
electricity, and it should not replace diesel oil on pure economic
grounds. Large daily load volumes and large collector areas are in
general associated with shorter payback periods. Overall, the
systems are oversized and are economically suitable for
large daily hot water load volumes.
25
Common Problems with
Abstracts
•
•
•
•
Too long
Too much detail
Too short
Failure to include important
information
– Objective of research
– Methodology
26
Difference Between
Abstract and Introduction
ABSTRACT
INTRODUCTION
– Main purpose of
abstract is to
summarize paper
– Main purpose of
introduction is to
present context or
background for paper
– Abstracts should be
short – should only
contain summary
information
– Introductions are
longer – often contain
guides to reading paper
27
Example of Good
Abstract
We investigate the use of auditory feedback in
pen gesture interfaces in a series of informal and
formal experiments. Initial iterative exploration
showed that gaining performance on learning
advantage with auditory feedback was possible
using absolute cues and state feedback after the
gesture was produced and recognized….These
rules may serve as a foundation for future
research and development in pen-gesture
interfaces with auditory feedback.
28
Example of Poor
Abstract
Embodiments are visual representations of people
in groupware systems. Embodiments normally
display only a few types of awareness information
(such as presence, location, and movement); in
contrast, information-rich embodiments attempt
to maximize the number of information variables
that are represented. ……. To investigate these
issues, we tested people’s ability to remember and
interpret fifteen information variables in two
types of information-rich embodiments, outside
of a groupware system. Our results provide
strong evidence for the feasibility of these
representations……. Initial results from a second
study, in which information-rich embodiments
were implemented in a real distributed groupware
29
system, agree with these findings.
What is Topic of Paper?
Embodiments are visual representations of people
in groupware systems. Embodiments normally
display only a few types of awareness information
(such as presence, location, and movement); in
contrast, information-rich embodiments attempt
to maximize the number of information variables
that are represented.
– The initial sentence says nothing about what the paper is
about. In fact, we never learn this from the abstract
30
What are the Conclusions
of this Research?
Our results provide strong evidence for the
feasibility of these representations: we found
that people were very successful in remembering
variables, were accurate in determining the values
encoded by each variable, and were able to
successfully select embodiments that matched
particular criteria. Initial results from a second
study, in which information-rich embodiments
were implemented in a real distributed groupware
system, agree with these findings.
31
Problem: Find the Following
in the Abstract Distributed
– Topic of research
– Research problem or main objective of
paper
– Methods used
– Main research findings
– Paper’s conclusions
32
Coffee Break!
33
Suggested Titles Abstract 1
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The impact of temporal cultural differences on global virtual software
development team performance
–
Impacts of temporal cultural differences on global software development teams
–
What time is it?: Impacts of cultural time perceptions on global software
development
A model measuring distributed team effectiveness and satisfaction
Temporal attitudes in distributed global software development teams
The impact of temporal cultural differences on team performance in global
software development
Cultural differences in temporal perception among global software teams
Big and tall?: Impacts of cultural time perceptions on global software
development teams
The impact of culturally based perceptions of time on global software
development
34
Suggested Titles Abstract 2
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Modeling gaze and speech integration patterns to improve the
performance of multimodal systems
A model for integrating gaze and speech to improve performance
of multimodal systems for individuals
“Move it there”: Analysis of speech and gaze integration patterns
for a simple moving task
“Move it again Sam!”: Exploring the relationship between gaze and
speech
Modeling gaze and speech for moving objects
Where is “it?” Event Synchronization in Gaze-Speech Input
Systems
For your eyes only: Predicting object’s positions visually
For your eyes only: Predicting the movement of screen objects
using speech and gaze patterns
35
Suggested Titles Abstract 3
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The testing and initial application of a measure for incidental information
exchange within work groups
Capturing incidental information exchange within work groups
IIE: the quest to capture social exchanges level within a work group
Incidental Information Exchange: Development of a measure to capture
social exchanges in work groups
Incidental Information Exchange as a measure of social exchanges in work
groups
Incidental Information Exchange: Measuring social exchanges in work
groups
Mutual knowledge as an incidental exchange in a work group: A quick
method
Incidental Information Exchange: A Measure for Assessing the Effect of
Mediated Communication in Work Relationships
36
Overall Paper
Organization
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Title - 
Abstract - 
Introduction
Literature Review
-------------------Stops Here--------------------Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusion
37
The Introduction
•
•
•
•
•
•
Purpose of the introduction
Common problems
How to organize introductions
Examples of good introductions
Examples of bad introductions
Problem: Identifying key elements of an
introduction
• Problem: Fixing poor introductions
38
Purpose of the
Introduction
• To situate the research in its research
field
• To document why the research being
presented is important
• To state the research problem the paper
will solve
• To present the steps that will be taken to
solve the problem
39
Why are Introductions
Important
• Introductions create a cognitive structure
for the reader which helps this person
understand the research being presented
– The cognitive structure is then used to store
each new item of information presented in the
paper
• Introductions let the reader know if the
work presented is relevant – what they are
looking for
40
What an Introduction
Contains
•
•
•
•
Context / background for the research
Rationale for conducting the research
A description of the problem being solved
The steps the researcher will take to solve
the problem
41
Setting the Context for
the Research
Design is a fundamental part of the product development
process. Conceptually, design is viewed as a structured,
multiphased, iterative process which transforms a need into
a product. Because modern technology is complex, it is
unusual for an individual to tackle a complex product design
alone. Often, a small team is gathered at the initial stage
of the design process. However, group work often
introduces problems of organization, coordination and
communication. Communication inadequacies existing among
team members is a major impediment to the orderly and
effective progression of the design process, especially when
they are not meeting face-to-face.
42
Giving the Rationale for
the Research
Design is a fundamental part of the product development
process. Conceptually, design is viewed as a structured,
multiphased, iterative process which transforms a need into
a product. Because modern technology is complex, it is
unusual for an individual to tackle a complex product design
alone. Often, a small team is gathered at the initial stage
of the design process. However, group work often
introduces problems of organization, coordination and
communication. Communication inadequacies existing among
team members is a major impediment to the orderly and
effective progression of the design process, especially when
they are not meeting face-to-face.
43
Giving a Description of
the Problem to be Solved
As more collaboration occurs across geographically
distributed locations, applying technology to support
synchronous remote collaboration is being explored (Tang
and Minneman, 1990,1991; Minneman and Bly, 1990;
Greenberg and Bohnet, 1991; Ishii, 1990). The emergence
of computer supported synchronous shared drawing tools
has made it possible for designers to collaborate on a
design when they are not meeting face-to-face. These tools
allow users to draw simultaneously on a shared workspace.
Although these tools are exceedingly useful, we believe that
the management of multiple inputs remains a significant
issue in their design.
44
Laying out the Research
Steps that will be Taken
To understand the group idea management behaviors, we
studied videotapes of drawing space activities collected by
various researchers and reviewed findings on prior research
in group design studies, group communication, engineering
design studies, and social psychology. Findings from these
studies provided valuable insights to shared drawing
activities.
These insights allowed us to define requirements of shared
drawing tools to support the shared drawing activities. We
illustrate the requirements in the design of a prototype,
CaveDraw and evaluate its usability through user testing.
45
What an Introduction
May Contain
• The scope of the problem – what the
research will not address
• The limitations of the research
• The methods, models, approaches
that will be taken in the research
(assumptions)
46
Defining the Scope of
the Problem
Our approach differs in that our goal is to
help users navigate to, not detect,
recognition errors. This shift in focus is
motivated by the following reasons:
1. data confirming that the error detection
and navigation can consume as much as
one-third of the time experienced users
spend creating
47
Giving the Limitations of
the Research
The research described in this paper focuses on
one cultural difference, temporal perceptions, and
the effect this difference might have on the
performance and satisfaction of software teams
that are distributed across temporal distances.
As such, this work needs to separate out the
effects of cultural time perception from the
effects of other variables such as time zone
differences and general cultural differences.
48
Listing the Methods,
Models, Approaches
• Our methodological approach combines
requirements-driven iterative design with
quantitative and qualitative evaluation of working
prototypes. The structure of this article mirrors
our method.
• Section 2 summarizes field studies showing the
importance of social reminding and social data
mining. It also shows the lack of support current
communication applications provide for these
tasks, and derives design requirements to support
them.
49
Common Problems with
Introductions
• Too much detail – introductions
should never be longer than 1/10 of
the research work
• Too much repetition – words,
phrases, ideas, etc.
• Unclear problem definition
• Poor organization
50
How to Organize
Introductions
• Set the context
• Define the research problem
• Propose a solution
51
Setting the Context
• By claiming centrality – why the field
is important
– AND / OR
• By moving from general to specific
– AND / OR
• By reviewing relevant items in prior
research
52
Example: Claiming
Centrality
• Minimum safe low temperatures (above
freezing) and high humidity control are
the most important tools for extending
shelf life in vegetables." (Barth et al.,
1993)
• “most important tools” indicates that
these two factors are crucial
53
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
In recent years, there has been an increased
awareness of the potential impact of pollutants
such as heavy metals. Moreover, the traditional
methods for treating aqueous streams containing
metal contaminants are expensive and can have
inadequate facilities (1). This is particularly true
in developing countries. This has led to the use of
alternative technologies. The use of biological
materials is one such technology which has
received considerable attention. (Ho et al., 1996)
54
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
• The first sentence: impact of heavy metals
(general).
55
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
• The first sentence: impact of heavy metals
(general).
• The second sentence: expense and
shortcomings of methods of removing
heavy metals (less general).
56
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
• The first sentence: impact of heavy metals
(general).
• The second sentence: expense and
shortcomings of methods of removing
heavy metals (less general).
• The third sentence: expense and
shortcomings of methods of removing
heavy metals in developing countries (more
specific).
57
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
• The fourth sentence: alternative
technologies to overcome expense and
shortcomings of methods of removing
heavy metals (yet more specific).
58
Example: Moving from
Central to Specific
• The fourth sentence: alternative
technologies to overcome expense and
shortcomings of methods of removing
heavy metals (yet more specific).
• The fifth sentence: biological materials as
an example of alternative technologies to
overcome the expense and shortcomings of
methods of removing heavy metals (very
specific).
59
Example: Reviewing
Relevant Items
Numerous studies on the utilization
of plant proteins as a partial or
complete replacement for fish meal
in diets have been conducted using
various freshwater and marines
fishes (Lovell, 1987; Tacon et al.,
1983; Murai et al., 1989a; Cowey et
al., 1974). (Takii et al., 1989)
60
How to Organize
Introductions
• Set the context - 
• Define the research problem
• Propose a solution
61
Defining the Research
Problem
• By indicating a research gap
– OR
• By raising a research question
– OR
• By indicating that the work is part of a
previously defined line of inquiry
– OR
• By making a counter claim – disagreeing
with what has been already published
62
Example: Indicating a
Research Gap
Numerous studies on the utilization of plant
proteins as a partial or complete replacement for
fish meal in diets have been conducted using
various freshwater and marines fishes (Lovell,
1987; Tacon et al., 1983; Murai et al., 1989a;
Cowey et al., 1974). However, very little is known
about the feasibility of using soybean meal as a
dietary protein source in practical feeds for
yellowtail Seriola quinqueradiata. (Takii et al.,
1989)
63
Example: Raising a
Research Question
The question we address here is how
technological change occurs when it
is the overall system that needs to
be changed. In particular, how can we
begin and sustain a technological
transition away from hydrocarbon
based technologies? (Street and
Miles, 1996)
64
Example: Extending Prior
Research
Taking all these elements and their possible variations into
account is often far too complex and tedious for
determining efficient gas development patterns with simple
back of the envelope calculations. In their survey of these
elements, Julius and Mashayeki [8] present a detailed
analysis of these different interactions. They suggest that
these be taken into account through gas planning models
constructed in the same spirit as the planning models
developed in the power generation sector.
In this paper, we present a gas planning model that fulfils
some of the specifications established in Julius and
Mashayeki [8]. (Boucher and Smeers, 1996)
65
Example: Making a
Counterclaim
Evaluating the cost effectiveness of distributed
generation is a crucial resource planning
issue. Many have assessed cost effectiveness by
dividing the utility system into many parts and
estimating distributed generation's value to each
part. When this is done, total value can be
composed of ten or more individual components
(Hoff and Shugar, 1995), substation transformer
(El-Gassier et al., 1993), transmission system,
generation system, voltage support (Hoff et al.,
1994) reliability, energy savings, electrical loss
savings (Hoff and Shugar, 1995) minimum load
savings, modularity and flexibility (Morris et al.,
1993) and financial risk reduction values
(Awerbuch, 1994).
66
Example: Making a
Counterclaim
Although impressive, this list of value
components suggests that determining the
value of distributed generation requires a
team of experts assembled from each
department within the utility. This paper
describes a simplified evaluation process
based on the observation that distributed
generation is of value because it reduces
variable costs or defers capacity
investments. (Hoff et al., 1996)
67
How to Organize
Introductions
• Set the context - 
• Define the research problem - 
• Propose a solution
68
Proposing a Solution
• By outlining the purpose of the work
– AND / OR
• By describing present research and
methods that apply
– AND
• By describing principal findings, results
– AND
• By indicating the structure of the
research
69
Example: Outlining the
Purpose of the Work
• This work aims to establish the
extent of interaction of alginate with
calcium and aluminium ions with
respect to the influence of algal
exudates have on the removal of
humic substances by aluminium
coagulation during drinking water
treatment. (Gregor et al., 1996)
70
Example: Describing
Present Research
• This paper examines the use of peat for
the removal of two metals, copper and
nickel, from both mono-solute and bisolute solutions. In particular, it reports
the effect that a competing ion has on the
rates of removal and examines the
mechanisms which may affect the uptake
of minerals. (Ho et al., 1996)
71
Example: Describing
Principal Findings
• Different operating modes of the
MESFET mixers, gate mixers, drain
mixers, and resistive mixers were
investigated in this work and the
results proved that good conversion
characteristics could be
achieved.(Angelov, 1991)
72
Example: Indicating the
Structure of the Research
• This paper is organized as follows.
Alternative representations of demand
and supply are discussed in sections 2 and
3 respectively. The model is described in
section 4. Section 5 presents an
application of the tool to a gas reserves
development timing problem in Indonesia.
The full set of equations is given in the
appendix and is referred to throughout
the text. (Boucher and Smeers, 1996)
73
Proposing a Solution
(additional items)
• By indicating directions for further
research
– AND
• By stating the expected benefits of
the current research
74
Example: Directions for
Further Research
• This paper takes a first step in this
direction by laying out the rationale
for incorporating feedback and
feedforward mechanisms in decision
support for dynamic tasks such as
software project management
(Sengupta and Abdel-Hamid, 1993).
75
Example: Benefits of
Current Research
• The paper further suggests a
multidisciplinary management
approach to effect a favorable
outcome for the whole fishing
community (Lim et al., 1995).
76
Problem: Find the Following
in the Introductions
•
•
•
•
Context of the problem addressed
Rationale for research
Problem statement
Steps that will be taken to solve
problem
• Limitations
• Assumptions
77
Overall Paper
Organization
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Title - 
Abstract - 
Introduction - 
Literature Review
-----------Stops Here---------Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusion
78
Literature Review
• Why write a literature review?
• Common mistakes in literature reviews
• Questions a literature review should
answer
• Example of a poor literature review
• Example of a good literature review
• Frequently asked questions
79
Why Write a Literature
Review?
• To evaluate prior work that has been
done in your paper’s research area
– To show relationships between
different existing work
– To show relationship between existing
work and your work
• To set the context for your research
80
Common Mistakes in
Literature Reviews
• Literature review becomes a
summary of existing literature
– No relationships are built
– No reasons are given for including a
citation
• Article is cited but its content and
reason for being cited are not given
81
Common Mistakes in
Literature Reviews
• Review is exhaustive citing both bad
and good work with no distinctions
being made
• Review has too many general
references
• Review has too few specific
references
82
Questions a Lit Review
Answers
1.
What do we already know in the
immediate area concerned?
2. What are the characteristics of the key
concepts or the main factors or
variables?
3. What are the relationships between
these key concepts, factors or variables?
83
Questions a Lit Review
Answers
4. What are the existing theories?
5. Where are the inconsistencies or other
shortcomings in our knowledge and
understanding?
6. What views need to be (further) tested?
84
Questions a Lit Review
Answers
7. What evidence is lacking, inconclusive,
contradictory or too limited?
8. Why study (further) the research
problem?
9. What contribution can the present study
be expected to make?
10. What research designs or methods seem
unsatisfactory?
85
Example: A Poor
Literature Review
Until recently many researchers have shown
interest in the field of coastal erosion and the
resulting beach profiles. They have carried out
numerous laboratory experiments and field
observations to illuminate the darkness of this
field. Their findings and suggestions are
reviewed here.
86
Example: A Poor
Literature Review
JACHOWSKI (1964) developed a model
investigation conducted on the interlocking
precast concrete block seawall. After a result of
a survey of damages caused by the severe storm
at the coast of USA, a new and especially shaped
concrete block was developed for use in shore
protection. This block was designed to be used in
a revetment type seawall that would be both
durable and economical as well as reduce wave
run-up and overtopping, and scour at its base or
toe. It was proved that effective shore
protection could be designed utilizing these units.
87
Example: A Poor
Literature Review
HOM-MA and HORIKAWA (1964) studied waves
forces acting on the seawall which was located
inside the surf zone. On the basis of the
experimental results conducted to measure waves
forces against a vertical wall, the authors
proposed an empirical formula of wave pressure
distribution on a seawall. The computed results
obtained by using the above formula were
compared well with the field data of wave
pressure on a vertical wall.
88
Example: A Poor
Literature Review
SELEZOV and ZHELEZNYAK (1965) conducted
experiments on scour of sea bottom in front of
harbor seawalls, basing on the theoretical
investigation of solitary wave interaction with a
vertical wall using Boussinesque type equation. It
showed that the numerical results were in
reasonable agreement with laboratory
experimental data.
and so on.
89
Why is the Previous
Literature Review Poor?
• It is only a summary of prior research
• It does not show the relationships
between each of the pieces of research
cited
• It does not show the relationship between
prior research and the current research
being done
• It is simply a chronological organization of
prior work
90
Example: A Good
Literature Review
On the optimal container size in automated
warehousesY. Roll, M.J. Rosenblatt and D.
Kadosh, Proceedings of the Ninth ICPR
Automated storage and retrieval systems
(AS/RS) are being introduced into the industry
and warehousing at an increasing rate. Forecasts
indicate that this trend will continue for the
foreseeable future (see [1]). Research in the area
of AS/RS has followed several avenues.
91
Example: A Good
Literature Review
Early work by Hausman, Schwarz and Graves [6,
7] was concerned with storage assignment and
interleaving policies, based on turnover rates of
the various items. Elsayed [3] and Elsayed and
Stern [4] compared algorithms for handling
orders in AR/RS. Additional work by Karasawa et
al. [9], Azadivar [2] and Parry et al. [11] deals with
the design of an AS/RS and the determination of
its throughput by simulation and optimization
techniques.
92
Example: A Good
Literature Review
Several researchers addressed the problem of
the optimal handling unit (pallet or container) size,
to be used in material handling and warehousing
systems. Steudell [13], Tanchoco and Agee[14],
Tanchoco et al. [15] and Grasso and Tanchoco [5]
studied various aspects of this subject. The last
two references incorporate the size of the pallet,
or unit load, in evaluation of the optimal lot sizes
for multi-inventory systems with limited storage
space.
93
Example: A Good
Literature Review
In a report on a specific case, Normandin [10] has
demonstrated that using the 'best-size' container
can result in considerable savings. A simulation
model combining container size and warehouse
capacity considerations, in an AS/RS environment,
was developed by Kadosh [8]. The general results,
reflecting the stochastic nature of the flow of
goods, are similar to those reported by
Rosenblatt and Roll [12]. Nevertheless, container
size was found to affect strongly overall
warehousing costs.
94
Example: A Good
Literature Review
In this paper, we present an analytical framework
for approximating the optimal size of a warehouse
container. The approximation is based on series
of generalizations and specific
assumptions. However, these are valid for a wide
range of real life situations. The underlying
assumptions of the model are presented in the
following section.
95
Why is This Example a
Good Lit Review?
• The writers have:
– grouped similar information: "Steudell [13],
Tanchoco and Agee[14], Tanchoco et al. [15]
and Grasso and Tanchoco [5] studied various
aspects of this subject.“
– shown the relationship between the work of
different researchers, showing
similarities/differences: "The general results,
reflecting the stochastic nature of the flow of
goods, are similar to those reported by
Rosenblatt and Roll [12]."
96
Why is This Example a
Good Lit Review?
• The writers have:
– indicated the position of the work in the
research area history: "Early work by Hausman,
Schwarz and Graves [6, 7] . . . "
– moved from a general discussion of the
research in AS/RS to the more specific area
(optimal container size) that they themselves
are researching i.e. they relate previous work
to their own to define it, justify it and explain
it.
97
Suggestions for Writing
a Literature Review
• Collect your references
– Take notes of key points in article /
book that may be useful or relevant
• Put references in appropriate format
• Write a research argument for your work
• Cut and paste references in their
appropriate places in the research
argument
• Write review
98
Frequently Asked
Questions
• Do I have to cite all the relevant
literature? There is so much!
99
Frequently Asked
Questions
• Do I have to cite all the relevant
literature? There is so much!
• No, you only need to be exhaustive on that
literature which is specific to your
research problem. More general literature
should be used to set the context of the
research and need not be exhaustive
100
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What if I disagree with the research
in an article?
101
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What if I disagree with the research
in an article?
• If the article is relevant to your
research, you should write your
disagreement and say why you are
pursuing a different approach
102
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What if a reviewer tells me to add a
reference that I think is irrelevant?
103
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What if a reviewer tells me to add a
reference that I think is irrelevant?
• For a journal paper, you can disagree with
the reviewer in your letter to the editor
as long as you document why you disagree
.
104
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What if a reviewer tells me to add a
reference that I think is irrelevant?
• For a conference paper, it is often prudent
to include the cite – probably the
reviewer’s paper.
105
Frequently Asked
Questions
• I see people cite statistics books and
other common references. Do I need to
do that?
106
Frequently Asked
Questions
• I see people cite statistics books and
other common references. Do I need to
do that?
• If you are using unusual methods, yes. If
you are using methods common to your
field, no. You can assume that your
readers will have this common background.
107
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What format should I use for my
reference section?
.
108
Frequently Asked
Questions
• What format should I use for my
reference section?
• Use the format that is recommended
by the journal or conference you are
writing your paper for.
109
Frequently Asked
Questions
• Can I use web pages as references?
110
Frequently Asked
Questions
• Can I use web pages as references?
• Yes, but it is not recommended if you can
find other sources.
– Web pages are not trusted, reviewed sources
– Web pages are not archival and therefore may
disappear even before your research is
published
111
Lunch Break!
112
Overall Paper
Organization
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Title - 
Abstract - 
Introduction - 
Literature Review - 
-------------Stops Here-----------Methodology
Results
Discussion
Conclusion
113
Overview of Presentation
•
•
•
•
•
•
Overall Paper Organization - 
General Principles of Readability
Writing Good Paragraphs
-------------Stops Here-------------Creating Flow Between Paragraphs
Editing
114
General Principles of
Readability
• Put the information that is new
within a framework of what is
already known by the reader
115
Negative Example
• Modern cryptanalysis has attracted some
of the most capable mathematical minds.
In recent years the growing prospect that
postal and diplomatic communication will
soon be replaced by other forms of
communication has furnished increased
incentive for mathematicians and
engineers to invent an unbreakable cipher.
Messages will be able to be telephoned,
delivered, and quickly typed on the other
end. But unbreakable codes will be needed
to protect senders against snoopers.
116
Revised Version
• Modern cryptanalysis has attracted some of the
most capable mathematical minds. In recent
years the growing prospect that postal and
diplomatic communication will soon be replaced by
other forms of electronic communication has
furnished increased incentive for mathematicians
and engineers to invent an unbreakable cipher.
Messages will be able Electronic devices will
permit messages to be telephoned, delivered, and
quickly typed on the other end. But unbreakable
codes will be needed to protect senders against
electronic snoopers.
117
How did the Revision
Help?
• The word “electronic” tied each sentence
to the next one
• The word “electronic” narrowed the
possible meanings – from messages to
electronic messages
• Often repetition of a noun or adjective is
all that is needed to tell the reader you
are still writing about the same thing
118
General Principles of
Readability
• Establish topic and purpose at the
very start
– Do this in the abstract
– Repeat it in the introduction
– Write the topic and purpose of each
section and subsection of the paper
– Write a topic and purpose for each
paragraph
119
General Principles of
Readability
• Use key words prominently
– Steffi gave me a paper on Outsourcing
– The authors used the word “ONGOINGNESS”
throughout
– “ONGOINGNESS” is not a real word in English
– It’s meaning is clear –something continues to
happen
– The authors created a keyword for their paper
– The advantages they gained were
• A single keyword tied the work together
• The keyword stood out because it was NOT
English
120
General Principles of
Readability
• Explain important concepts when
writing for non-specialist readers
– Ask yourself who your readers will be?
– Then ask if your readers will know a
word or a concept?
– If not, explain the concept before using
it in your writing
121
Methods for Explaining
Unfamiliar Concepts
• Visual Aids
– Never underestimate the advantages of a good
visual aid
• Examples
– Of what the concept is
– Of what the concept is not
• Analogies
• Definitions
• Paraphrases
122
Example
• The example in the next set of slides uses
a paragraph from a paper on food
technology.
• The paper explains the Remrak Coefficient
• The analogies, definitions and paraphrases
are pointed out in this paper
123
The Remrak Coefficient
• In the production of powdered detergents,
spray drying is the technique used to
evaporate the solvent from the liquid
reaction mixture and physically form the
finished powder product. In spray drying,
the liquid is sprayed into the top of a tall
tower and allowed to fall freely to the
bottom of the tower, where it is removed
as a dry powder. The solvent evaporates
during the course of the fall.
124
Analogy
• Particles dried in this fashion have an
unusual shape, like that of a saddle
(or a Pringle’s potato chip), and
consequently fall through the air in
an unusual manner.
125
Paraphrase
• Particles dried in this fashion have an
unusual shape, like that of a saddle
(or a Pringle’s potato chip), and
consequently fall through the air in
an unusual manner.
126
Definition
• The shape of the helical path is
described by the Remrak coefficient,
which is the ratio of the diameter of
the helix to the height required for
one passage of the particle around
the perimeter of the helix.
127
Paraphrase
• The coefficient, which is a function
of drying conditions, is sought to be
maximized, so that the length of
flight of the particle is made much
greater than the actual height of the
spray-drying tower.
128
General Principles of
Readability
• Structure text to emphasize
important information
– Hierarchical structure
• From general to detail
– List structure
• Especially when giving instructions
– Chronological structure
• When listing events, e.g., chemical reactions
129
General Principles of
Readability
• Emphasize important information by
sentence structures
– Use simple, short declarative sentences
for main points
• Our visualization is purposefully simple.
• Our ultimate goal is to determine what
makes visualizations difficult.
– Short sentences are strong
130
A Comparison
• A sentence that is written in its
shortest form provides a stronger
presentation.
• Short, concise and to-the-point
sentences are very strong
• Short sentences are strong.
131
General Principles of
Readability
• Use Meta-Statements - liberally
– Meta statements are statements at a
level above what is actively taking place
– For example,
• The rest of this paragraph will discuss why
the erosion happened as quickly as it did.
• This paper is organized as follows. First, we
present….
132
General Principles of
Readability
• Use the Active Voice wherever possible
– Passive
• The experiment was conducted in a sound-proofed
room
– Active
• We ran the experiment in a sound-proofed room
– However, do not use “I”
• I ran the experiment in a sound-proofed room
• Some people add their “cat” as an author
133
General Principles of
Readability
• Field-test your writing
– Select representative users
– Select native English speakers
• Construct well-designed paragraphs
– Each paragraph should have one purpose
– Each paragraph should have a clear structure
– Each paragraph should have a natural
connection to its predecessor and follower
134
Overview of Presentation
•
•
•
•
•
•
Overall Paper Organization - 
General Principles of Readability - 
Writing Good Paragraphs
-----------Stops Here--------Creating Flow Between Paragraphs
Editing
135
Writing Paragraphs
•
•
•
•
•
The Topic Statement
Organization of Sentences
Writing Sentences
Creating Flow Between Sentences
Word Choice
136
The Topic Statement
• Each paragraph needs a reason for
existence, i.e., a purpose
• This purpose is stated in the topic
statement
– First sentence in paragraph
– Possibly followed by a 2nd topic sentence
if topic is complicated
137
The Topic Statement
• Contains one or more key words related to
topic
• May indicate how the topic will be
developed, e.g., “we develop our case for x
by cause and effect analysis.”
• Can be 3rd or 4th sentence if initial
sentences used to set context
• Short simple statements best
138
Examples of a Good Topic
Statement
• Some limitations of the activity data
provide important context for this
study. First interaction with the
computer is reported down to the
minute – the system reports if the
user has been active at any time
during a minute…..
139
Examples of a Good Topic
Statement
• Unlike gasohol-powered cars, the fuel
cell alternative is virtually pollutionfree. A methanol fuel cell system
works through chemical reactions
that leave the air clean. A fuel
processor breaks the methanol down
into carbon dioxide and….
140
Examples of a Poor Topic
Statement
• Though billions of dollars were lost during
the Internet bubble, a substantial fraction
of the investment made during this period
still has social value. Much has been made
of the miles laid of “dark fiber.” But it’s
just as cheap to lay 128 strands of fiber
as a single strand, and the marginal cost of
the excess investment was likely rather
low.
141
Example of a Poor Topic
Statement
• Topic statement does not describe
topic of paragraph
- Paragraph does not list the social value
obtained from the internet investments
but rather critiques the argument that
dark fiber is an advantage
- Very disconcerting to read topic
statement and connect ideas
142
Rewrite of Poor Topic
Statement
• Although some argue that internet
investment provided social value despite
the billions lost during the Internet
bubble, this is not completely clear. Much
has been made of the miles laid of “dark
fiber.” But it’s just as cheap to lay 128
strands of fiber as a single strand, and the
marginal cost of the excess investment
was likely rather low.
143
Example of a Poor Topic
Statement
• Utility costs for the argon process
are 75% greater than for the
proposed hydrogen process. Initial
capital cost is $5.4 million, roughly
three times the hydrogen process
cost. However annual income from
the sale of argon, increased…..
144
Example of a Poor Topic
Statement
• Paragraph goes on to argue that the
hydrogen process is the better
investment
• That is certainly not what the first
sentence says
– Gives reader wrong interpretation
– May or may not be revised with reading
145
Rewrite of Poor Topic
Statement
• The argon process is clearly a better
investment than the hydrogen
process. Although it has higher
utility costs (by 75%) and a higher
initial capital cost (by 300%), it
generates annual income-from the
sale of argon, from increased ….
146
Problem: Find the Best
Topic Statement
• For the paragraphs distributed,
three topic sentences are suggested
• Select the one that best meets the
criteria of a good topic sentence
147
Organization of
Paragraph Sentences
• Topic Statement
• Possible Sub-Topic Statement
• Supporting Statements
– Follow naturally from the topic
statement
– Either elaborate or support topic
statement
148
Supporting Statement
Forms
•
•
•
•
•
Chronological Description
Cause-and-Effect Analysis
Comparison and Contrast
Listing
General-to-Particular Details
• Combination of above patterns
149
Chronological Description
• Time frame used to tie sentences
together
• Types of Phrasings Used
– Time adverbs
•
•
•
•
In 1990
last week
at 20:15
first, second, finally, soon
150
Chronological Description
• Types of Phrasings Used
– Verb tense sequencing
•
•
•
•
Originally, we wanted,
More recently, we have…
Now we are trying to
In the future, the goal will be to…
151
Chronological Description
• Types of Phrasings Used
– Grammatical parallelism
•
•
•
•
Mount the grating near the end
Locate a rider on the sale
Adjust the grating
Read the distances from…
152
Example: Chronological
Description Paragraph
• Total U.S. research and development
spending is projected to reach a
current-dollar level of $66.7 billion in
1981. This is an increase of 105 over
the 1980 projected level and nearly
double the amount spent on these
activities in 1975.
153
Example: Poor Chronological
Description Paragraph
• Pictorial images of dog guides date back to
ancient civilizations. Specific details of usage in
those times are mostly unknown; systematic
training was not known to be performed until
after the World War I. Dog guides were trained
after WWI in France and Germany for blinded
war veterans. In 1929 the first U.S. dog guide
school, The Seeing Eye, was founded in Nashville
Tennessee. As of 1994, at least ten dog guide
schools are known to be in operation (Blasch,
Wiener & Welsh, 1997, p260, p570) . continued
154
Example: Poor Chronological
Description Paragraph
• As recently as 1997, Blasch, Wiener & Welsh
cites an older study finding only 1-2% adoption of
dog guides by blind users (references a 1960
study by Finestone, Luoff and Whiteman with no
subsequent up-to-date information available)
[Blasch, Wiener & Welsh p270]. Robin Leonard
(2005) states that 7,000 Americans use Guide
dogs (p28). Leonard also references the 1994-95
National Health Interview Study on Disability
which indicates that 1.3 million Americans are
legally blind, suggesting an estimate of <1% for
guide Dog usage in the U.S.
155
What is this Paragraph
About?
• Is it a history of seeing-eye dogs?
• Is it a claim that seeing-eye dogs are
not used by many blind people
• Is it about the growth of systematic
training of guide dogs?
– What is the topic sentence?
– How is the topic sentence developed?
156
Cause-and-Effect
Analysis
• Common in scientific and technical writing
• Used to:
– Make a logical argument
– Explain a process
– Explain why something happened
• Best to explain causes BEFORE effects
157
Cause-and-Effect
Analysis
• Characteristic Signals of Cause-andEffect Analysis
– Connective words and phrases
•
•
•
•
•
•
Therefore
Thus
Consequently
As a result
So
Accordingly
158
Cause-and-Effect
Analysis
• Characteristic Signals of Cause-andEffect Analysis
– Subordinate clauses
• Since
• Because (of)
• Due to
159
Cause-and-Effect
Analysis
• Characteristic Signals of Cause-andEffect Analysis
– Causative verbs
•
•
•
•
•
•
Causes
Results in
Gives rise to
Affects
Requires
Produces
160
Cause-and-Effect
Analysis
• Characteristic Signals of Cause-andEffect Analysis
– Conditional constructions
•
•
•
•
When
Where
Given
If, then
– Chronological sequencing also used
161
Example: Cause-and-Effect
Analysis Paragraph
• One of the most important properties of a
liquid is that its surface behaves like an
elastic covering that is continually trying
to decrease its area. A result of this
tendency for the surface to contract is
the formation of the liquids into droplets
as spherical as possible considering the
constraint of the ever-present gravity
force.
<continued next slide>
162
Example: Cause-and-Effect
Analysis Paragraph
• Surface tension arises because the elastic
attractive forces between molecules inside a
liquid are symmetrical; molecules situated near
the surface are attracted from the inside but not
the outside. The surface molecules experience a
net inward force; and consequently, moving a
surface molecule out of the surface requires
energy. The energy E required to remove all
surface molecules out of the range of forces of
the remaining liquid is proportional to the surface
area; therefore
163
Example: Cause-andEffect Analysis
• Keywords in paragraph also link
sentences
– Surface…tension molecules ….
– The surface molecule…requires energy
– The energy E required…is proportional
to…
– the proportionality factor…
164
Example: Poor Cause and
Effect Paragraph
• Since the goal of the study was to evaluate how
effective Nuketris was at engaging blind players,
the task was unstructured. The challenge in
designing an appropriate task structure for a
game is that failure is part of the design and
appropriate and desirable to a point. However,
when attempting to study game play, challenge,
skill development, etc., a player must play the
game long enough to acquire enough skills to
advance in the game.
165
What is this Paragraph
About?
• It’s topic sentence says that the game
tasks are unstructured because this is the
only way we can measure if the game is
engaging
• The rest of the paragraph explains how
failure is a part of the design
– It uses a cause and effect analysis to show this
but this does not really carry on the main
theme of the topic sentence – that is, how
unstructured tasks make the game engaging
166
How Can this Paragraph
be Fixed?
• A key problem is the lack of the linking
sentence that says that the failure
element of the game is what is meant by
the task being unstructured
– This link can be built through use of keywords
– This link can also be built by a connecting
sentence
167
The Fixed Paragraph
• Since the goal of the study was to evaluate how
effective Nuketris was at engaging blind players,
the task was unstructured. This unstructuredness is reflected in the chance for a player to fail
in the game. Such failure is a desirable and
natural part of the game design. This leads to a
tricky situation. The player must succeed enough
at the game to acquire game skills and thus be
study-able. However, the player must fail enough
at the game so that the game is challenging and
thus, engaging.
168
Comparison and Contrast
• One or more items are compared
• Common in business, e.g, cost/benefit
analyses
• Avoid jumping from one alternative
to another
– Describe properties of A first
– Then describe properties of B
169
Comparison and Contrast
• Characteristic features of comparison and
contrast paragraphs
– Connective words and phrases
•
•
•
•
•
•
However
On the other hand
Conversely
Similarly
Likewise
In contrast to
170
Comparison and Contrast
• Characteristic features of comparison and
contrast paragraphs
– Comparative constructions
•
•
•
•
•
•
More than
-er, than
Less than
As….as
Rather than
Is different from
171
Comparison and Contrast
• Characteristic features of
comparison and contrast paragraphs
– Verb tense differences
• Program X will be easy to implement
whereas Program Y would entail a number of
complications
172
Comparison and Contrast
• Characteristic features of
comparison and contrast paragraphs
– Subordinate clauses
• While
• Whereas
• But
173
Comparison and Contrast
• Characteristic features of
comparison and contrast paragraphs
– Parallelism
• Model X is reliable and efficient, whereas
Model Y is unreliable and relatively
inefficient
174
Comparison and Contrast
• Don’t be neutral in your comparisons
• NOT
– Item A weighs 3.2 kilos, and item B
weighs 2.7 kilos
• BUT RATHER
– Item A weighs 3.2 kilos, whereas item B
weighs 2.7 kilos
175
Example: Comparison and
Contrast Paragraph
• A one-million-fold increase in speed characterizes
the development of machine computation over the
past thirty years. The increase results from
improvements in computer hardware. In the
1940’s ENIAC, an early electronic computer, filled
a room with its banks of vacuum tubes and miles
of wiring. Today one can hold in the hand a
computing device costing about $200 that is
twenty times faster than ENIAC, has more
components and a larger memory, is thousands of
times more reliable, costs 1/10,000 the price, and
consumes power of a light bulb rather than that
of a locomotive.
176
Example: Poor Comparison
and Contrast Paragraph
• To start, Blount and Janick discuss that time has
value because it is a perishable, non-renewable
resource and that as people we vary in how we are
aware of the passage of time. Some people can
more accurately estimate times passage and those
people tend to exhibit traits associated with Type
A personalities, such things as adherence to
schedules, lists and deadlines, but in general we
note the passage of time by clocks, calendars and
the sun.
continued
177
Example: Poor Comparison
and Contrast Paragraph
• But this passage of time and its value is usually
organized around social conventions such as
birthdays, holidays and within the organizations,
the work week, fiscal years, school years, etc.
called markers or reference points (Blount et al.
2001). They argue that a person sets when they
want or expect an outcome to happen based on
three factors; (1) their own temporal
preferences, (their time urgency and need for
closure), (2) non-work influences, including
cultural and family demands, and (3) the
surrounding work context. These three determine
how and individual will allocate their time.
178
What is this Paragraph
About?
• Is it about the value of time?
– If so, what is the difference evidence given
for this value
• Is it about how people note time passage?
– If so, what are the comparisons for this?
• Keywords suggest a comparison and
contrast but of what?
– What is the topic sentence?
– How is the topic sentence developed?
179
Listing
• Scientific and technical writing frequently
uses lists
– Equipment used in an experiment
• May be formatted or unformatted (in
text)
• Should have parallel grammatical form
• Require an information lead-in
• Should be from most to least important
item
180
Listing
• Non-parallel list
– The principal processes are;
•
•
•
•
Coagulation and flocculation
Removing the solids
Nitrogen-removal
Disinfection
• This list is very hard to comprehend
181
Listing
• List converted to parallel structure
– The principal processes are:
•
•
•
•
Coagulation and flocculation
Removal of solids
Removal of nitrogen
Disinfection
• All of the items are now noun forms
182
Example: Listing
Paragraph
• In addition to coal and nuclear energy, a wide
variety of other power sources are frequently
discussed in the news and in scientific literature,
unfortunately, most are not yet ready for
practical use. Geothermal energy is one of the
more practical of proposed new sources. It is
already in use in Italy, Iceland, and northern
California but is not yet meeting all expectations
for it. Solar energy seems an elegant idea
because it I inexhaustible and adds no net heat or
carbon dioxide to the global environment. reason.
183
Example: Listing
Paragraph
• Yet present methods of exploiting it make solar
energy hopelessly inadequate as a major power
source in the next few decades. Sophisticated
windmills to generate electricity are also under
study by some. Biomass conversion is also getting
under way. Some of these sources of energy,
which we now generally regard as esoteric, may
well prove themselves and make a substantial
contribution over the long run if their costs can
be brought within
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Listing
• Note how each new element of
energy is written in the same parallel
form.
–
–
–
–
Geothermal energy….
Solar energy….
Sophisticated windmills….
Biomass conversions…..
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Example: Poor Listing
Paragraph
• Technology developments in many areas provide
the basis for significant improvement
opportunities. These include : (1) inexpensive,
highly capable mobile computing devices; (2)
network bandwidth; (3) the availability of
networks; (4) the affordability of networks; (5)
location sensing and location based services; (6)
Graphical Information Systems (GIS) databases;
(6) the fusion of disparate location reporting
systems; (7) high quality text to speech rendering
systems and (8) obstacle detection.
186
The List in this Paragraph is
NOT Parallel
• inexpensive, highly capable mobile computing
devices
• network bandwidth
• the availability of networks  network availability
• the affordability of networks network
affordability
• location sensing and location based services
• Graphical Information Systems (GIS)
• Databases
• the fusion of disparate location reporting systems
• high quality text to speech rendering systems
• obstacle detection  obstacle detection systems
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General-to-Particular
Details
• Probably one of the most common
types of scientific paragraphs
• Each sentence focuses on a smaller
frame of reference than the prior
one
188
Example: General-toParticular Details Paragraph
• To effectively manage time, people select and
utilize a large variety of different tools. Among
those tools, paper-based calendars are the basic
time management tools and have been regarded as
an extremely valuable and important aid in
people’s professional lives (Kincaid, Dupont and
Kaye 1985). Because of increasingly complex
schedules, more and more professionals are
adopting electronic time management tools to
support their professional lives. A recent study
(Wu 2004) found that knowledge workers prefer
electronic time management tools because of key
features that make them more efficient to use..
• continued
189
Example: General-toParticular Details Paragraph
• These include (1) the ability to quickly search for
items, (2) the ability to get better overviews of
time usage, especially by switching between
multiple possible views or by using a larger
display, (3) the ability to share scheduling
information either through “beaming” on a mobile
device or through a public online calendar, (4) the
ability to make changes to a complex temporal
structure by changing one instantiation of that
structure and (5) the ability to create more
complex temporal structures by selecting from a
set of pre-defined parameters (e.g. repeat <daily,
weekly, monthly> until <date>). continued
190
Example: General-toParticular Details Paragraph
• Those users, in the study, who did not use
electronic calendars complained mostly about the
visibility of the small screen size of the mobile
devices, the lack of portability of the desktop
devices and the difficulty with data entry either
because of the interface design or the input tools
available (tiny keyboard on mobile devices
191
Dissection of Paragraph
• People select many tools to manage
time
– Paper based calendars common
– Electronic calendars becoming common
• Lots of reasons for using electronic
calendars
• Reasons for not using electronic calendars
192
Overview of Presentation
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Overall Paper Organization - 
General Principles of Readability - 
Writing Good Paragraphs - 
-----------Stops Here----------Creating Flow Between Paragraphs
Editing
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Thank you for your Kind
Attention
Questions?
194