The Critical/Analytical
Response to Text
The Craft of Writing an Essay
Part 1
PLANNING THE ESSAY
WRITING A THESIS STATEMENT
A Think Aloud Process
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Deciding on your thesis statement:
The first step to planning your essay
 The assumption is that you know your text inside out and
have developed your own ideas in relation to the text
 For a literary essay, you are asked to make a debatable
claim that demonstrates your insight on a specific topic
(essential question)
 Your claim should strike the reader as an “aha” rather
than a “duh” observation
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Critical Essay Question
 For your Diploma exam, you will be given an
essential question that can be related to a wide
variety of texts. For example:
 Discuss the ideas(s) developed by the text creator
(s) about the ways in which individuals attempt
to reconcile the desire to act independently with
the need for security.
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STEP ONE
Interpret the question (work the prompt)
 Underline the key thematic words (independence
/ security) and the key words (reconcile the
desire)
 develop your interpretation in relation to the
text:
– How is independence portrayed in the text(s)?
– How is security portrayed in the text(s)?
– How will you address the conflict between the two – “the desire
to reconcile”?
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STEP TWO
Decide on a text and create the question

Change the statement into a question (that you can
answer) related to a specific text(s) of your choice
1.
How do the characters (name) in (text) reconcile their
desire for independence with their need for security?
2.
(How/Why/When (under what circumstances) does the
desire for independence come into conflict with the
need for security in the lives of (characters) in (text)?
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STEP THREE
Brainstorm a subset of questions

As you do so, think of possible answers. Let your
imagination roam over all possible questions:
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STEP FOUR
Create your claim & blueprint your supporting arguments
 Look for a pattern (group your ideas) in your brainstorming that
leads to a potential claim
 Think of an argument/claim (that contains potential for debate)
 Create at least three supporting arguments that support your main
argument/claim
 Be specific – have specific incidents from the play to back up your
point
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STEP FIVE
Write your thesis
 A good thesis is not only a debatable claim, but also
suggests the structure of the paper. The thesis allows the
reader to imagine and anticipate the flow of the paper
 Your statement should:
– State the topic
– State your insight/interpretation/claim
– Refer the text if you have not already done so in your introductory
paragraph
– State specific character(s) involved
– Suggest a sequence of points that logically prove the essay's main
assertion
– Be expressed in the present tense
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FORMULA SENTENCE
(When in doubt, try this)
Think about it this way:
 When we look at (character, literary techniques, author’s style) we
see that ___ (insight) which is significant because …
Write it this way:
 In (name of text), the author (name) develops the idea that …
Consider:
 whether your statement implies cause and effect (a ‘leads to’
statement), makes connections or comparisons (an ‘is’ statement) or
comments on a theme related to the prompt
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STEP SIX
Test your thesis against the 5-part MTS
(magic thesis statement) formula:
1.
Identify what you are looking at (the conflict between the need
for security and the desire for independence)
2.
identify the situation you can see / are describing
3.
State where that leads
4.
Point out the significance
5.
Be able to restate your thesis in other words – literally write a
sentence following your thesis that begins with “in other words”
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Test your thesis (CSSMI – ‘kiss me’)
Clarity:
 Use straightforward language – avoid reference to philosophers/philosophies or anything esoteric
Specificity:
 Is your thesis it too vague? For example, the statement "Shakespeare's characterization demonstrates
his incredible insight as a playwright" is too vague because your reader can't be sure what you
mean by "insight" or how it relates to "characterization"
Strength:
 Make sure you have at least three arguments (in mind) that support your thesis
 Make sure you have evidence for each argument
 Each argument should be the material for future body paragraphs
Manageability:
 Can you handle the topic within the time frame/space provided?
Interest:
 Does it state the obvious (“duh”)? If it's so obvious that nobody could fail to see it, it's probably
not worth writing about
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Write Your First Paragraph
(there is flexibility in the order!)
 Opening Hook
 Statements that narrow the focus (work the
prompt)
– Offer interpretation of key theme words/ideas
– Massage interpretation to suit the text




Thesis statement
In other words…
Blueprint
Transition
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Reconcile the desire for independence with the need
for security - Level ?
 It is not always possible to become independent and
retain safety. As women, the characters in Charlotte
Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper and Neil
Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal ideals
that interfere with their freedom. They are expected to
honor marriage and lead lives not for themselves but for
their families. The characters in Gilman’s and
Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire
for independence that overwhelms their need for security,
but are bound by traditional values that prevent them
from having both at once.
What comments would you make about this paragraph? How would you improve it?
Queen Elizabeth High ELA
Reconcile the desire for independence with the need
for security - Level 3-4
See next slide on how to change to a level 5
 It is not always possible to become independent and
retain safety. As women, the characters in Charlotte
Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper and Neil
Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal ideals
that interfere with their freedom. They are expected to
honor marriage and lead lives not for themselves but for
their families. The characters in Gilman’s and
Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire
for independence that overwhelms their need for security,
but are bound by traditional values that prevent them
from having both at once.
Good opening hook; however the word ‘safety’ needs to be ‘security’ unless the connection between
the two is explained. Sentence two could be clarified to make the meaning more explicit. Further
explanation needed of the assertion that the characters are ‘restricted by societal ideals’. Excellent
thesis statement but ideally, the paragraph needs a blueprint that could also function as a transition.
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Reconcile the desire for independence with the need
for security - level 5

It is not always possible to become independent and simultaneously retain
security. The female characters in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow
Wallpaper and Neil Bissoondath’s The Cage are restricted by societal
expectations that restrict their freedom creating a conflict between their
desire for independence and their need for security. They are expected to
honour marriage and pay heed to the traditional role of women in society as
homemakers and remain subservient to men. They lead lives not for
themselves but for their families and in doing so, relinquish opportunities for
self fulfillment and independence. The protagonists in Gilman’s and
Bissoondath’s short stories seem to be driven by a desire for independence
that overwhelms their need for security, but are bound by traditional values
that prevent them from having both at once. In other words, security is the
trade off for independence but the sacrifice that is made comes at a cost to
these characters – either insanity or a life of compromise. In both stories, the
authors use symbolism and first person narrative style to portray the internal
conflict that both protagonists endure.
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The Critical/Analytical
Response to Text
The Craft of Writing an Essay
Part 2
PLANNING THE ESSAY
WRITING Body Paragraphs
Modelling the Process
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Structure: The Body Paragraphs

The S-E-X Method:
Statement: introduces the main idea of the
paragraph. This may often be more than
one sentence

Example (a quotation or paraphrase from
the text) that clearly supports your
statement

Explanation - three important
components:
1. Explain your example /evidence – what
does it show? What is the context of
the quote, and how have you
interpreted it?
Open with a
related topic
statement
S
Statement
developing
topic
E
Example/Evid
ence
X
eXplanation
1. Explain the
quote
2. Connect to
your
statement
2. Connect example to your statement –
how does your example support
your statement?
3. Connect example and explanation to
your thesis statement - use key
words from your thesis statement.
This keeps the controlling idea
consistent
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3. Connect
back to thesis
Structure: The Body Paragraphs
Some other tips on writing body paragraphs:
 Don’t ever consider or introduce new claims –argue for your position
only. You are the authority on this topic and this text. Write with
confidence
 Don’t automatically use three body paragraphs – do some planning, and
use as many paragraphs as are necessary to adequately explore and
support your claim. Be specific and detailed with your explanations.
 Arrange your paragraphs purposefully and logically. This means
discussing ideas in the order in which they are raised in the text. Make
connections between the paragraphs so that they do not become
separate entities
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Body paragraph 1 edited (level 3-4)
 The woman in The Yellow Wallpaper is bound by the traditional
ideals (11b) of her time, worsening her already unstable mental
condition.(8a) She believes her husband, John, to be incorrect in his
diagnosis, but does not reason with him because he “is so wise, and
because he loves [her] so.” Regardless of her knowledge of her own
deteriorating state of mind, (4) she chooses to honor her husband’s
beliefs and keep her silence. (9d) She acknowledges (2a/11b) her
husband as society tells her to; he is the man, and therefore better
suited to make a decision. To disagree with her husband could risk
the safety(9c) she has attained by being married. At first the
protagonist is in no position to pursue independence, as her place in
society prevents her from doing so. She is passive about her situation,
believing John in saying it is “only nervousness” and is “glad that
[her] condition is not serious.” The protagonist also believes that her
anger with John is most often “unreasonable,” for surely he has a
better understanding of the problem.(8b/3) Over time, she learns to
break free from the traditional ideas of society, and gains a sort of
independence from it.(2a)
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Body paragraph 1 with changes

The protagonist of The Yellow Wallpaper, who remains noticeably nameless and thus
anonymous throughout the story, is bound by the traditional expectations of her time
to obey her husband (and brother) because they are men and both “physicians of high
standing” (p.332). The worsening of her already unstable mental condition created by
this situation is revealed in the protagonist’s diary where her narrative voice brings the
reader into direct contact with her feelings and state of mind. She believes her
husband, John, to be incorrect in his diagnosis, but does not reason with him because
he “is so wise, and because he loves [her] so” (p. 334). Regardless of her knowledge of
her own deteriorating state of mind, she chooses to honour her husband’s beliefs and
keep her silence for “what is one to do?”( p331). She is acquiescent in her husband’s
presence as society tells her to; he is the man, and therefore better suited to make a
decision. To disagree with her husband could risk the security and safety she has
attained by being married. At first the protagonist is in no position to pursue
independence, as her place in society prevents her from doing so. She is passive about
her situation, believing John in saying it is “only nervousness” and is “glad that [her]
condition is not serious.” The protagonist also believes that her anger with John is
most often “unreasonable,” for surely he has a better understanding of the problem.
Behind these declarations of compliance however, an underlying sense of anger
emerges – anger expressed as tiredness: “I take pains to control myself – before him, at
least, and that makes me very tired” (p.332). Despite her husband’s admonitions, the
narrator secretly and rebelliously continues to write in her diary, tracing her
psychological journey from dependence to a liberation that is shocking in its outcome.
When she learns to break free from the traditional ideas of society, and gains a sort of
independence from it, she does so through the transformation of her anonymous self
into a creature her husband can no longer recognize, and she does this at the price of
her sanity.
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Body Paragraph 2
Annotate this paragraph (with crac15) and
make the changes

In freeing herself from the rules of her society, the woman in The Yellow Wallpaper
rejects the traditional form of security: marriage. There is safety in marriage, financial
safety in particular. Furthermore, during this era, women did not work outside the
home and their roles in society were believed to revolve solely around their families.
This prison is symbolized by the yellow wallpaper, as demonstrated by the patterns in
the paper that restrict a woman inside it. She sees this woman, a mirror of herself, “all
the time trying to climb through. But nobody would climb through that pattern – it
strangles so.” As the story progresses, the protagonist grows more and more
independent, finally breaking free upon tearing down the wallpaper against her
husband’s advice. By doing this, she obtains a psychological freedom from the rules of
her society. Though she is at risk for losing physical freedom, as she will likely now
require extra attention for her unstable mind, her sacrifice of her sanity offers her a
means to escape the prison which initially caused her nervousness. The protagonist will
no longer have to deal with “women’s” work, her husband, or even the baby she
cannot connect to. She regards her independence as more important than her security
within her society and at no point in the story is she able to hang on to both. When
she belonged to her husband, she lacked freedom but was guaranteed safety, and
could only gain freedom upon letting go of her security.
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