PROFICIENCY ESSAY 1
PRE-WRITING DIRECTIONS
WSI English 9
Barbara Tollison
The Prompt

Attack the Prompt:
Circle the verbs that tell you what to do.
Underline the words that explain the verbs.
Choose any three short stories that
we have read during this unit and
write an essay in which you analyze
for each one of these stories a
character’s conflict and his or her
change as a result of the conflict.
We have read The Most
Dangerous Game, The Sniper,
and The Scarlet Ibis.
How a character changes
or what he/she learns is
always a reflection of
the THEME.
By Essay we mean
at least five
analytical
paragraphs.
To get started: T-Charts
Character at the Beginning:
Character at the End:
Rainsford:
Rainsford:
“
The Sniper:
The Sniper:
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
To get started: T-Charts
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Character at the Beginning:
Character at the End:
Rainsford:
“The world is made up of two classes--the
hunters and the huntees. Luckily, you and I
are hunters” (IR7).
“…I'm a hunter, not a murderer“ (IR26).
Rainsford:
“Then it was that Rainsford knew the full
meaning of terror” (IR 32).
“’I am still a beast at bay,’he said, in a low,
hoarse voice. ‘Get ready, General
Zaroff’”(IR 34).
The Sniper:
The Sniper:
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
To get started: T-Charts
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Character at the Beginning:
Character at the End:
Rainsford:
“The world is made up of two classes--the
hunters and the huntees. Luckily, you and I
are hunters” (IR7).
“…I'm a hunter, not a murderer“ (IR26).
Rainsford:
“Then it was that Rainsford knew the full
meaning of terror” (IR 32).
“’I am still a beast at bay,’he said, in a low,
hoarse voice. ‘Get ready, General
Zaroff’”(IR ).
The Sniper:
“He had been too excited to eat” (IR111).
“The sniper fired again. The woman whirled
round and fell with a shriek into the gutter”
(IR 112).
The Sniper:
“The lust of battle died in him. He became
bitten by remorse” (IR 114).
“Then the sniper turned over the dead body
and looked into his brother's face” (114).
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
To get started: T-Charts
Character at the Beginning:
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Character at the End:
Rainsford:
“The world is made up of two classes--the
hunters and the huntees. Luckily, you and I
are hunters” (IR7).
“…I'm a hunter, not a murderer“ (IR26).
Rainsford:
“Then it was that Rainsford knew the full
meaning of terror” (IR 32).
“’I am still a beast at bay, ’he said, in a low,
hoarse voice. ‘Get ready, General
Zaroff’”(IR ).
The Sniper:
“He had been too excited to eat” (IR111).
“The sniper fired again. The woman whirled
round and fell with a shriek into the gutter”
(IR 112).
The Sniper:
“The lust of battle died in him. He became
bitten by remorse” (IR 114).
“Then the sniper turned over the dead body
and looked into his brother's face” (114).
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
“When Doodle was five years old, I was
embarrassed at having a brother of that
age who couldn’t walk . . .” (IR170).
The knowledge that Doodle’s and my plans
had come to naught was bitter, and that
streak of cruelty within me awakened”(IR ).
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
“. . . the grindstone begins to turn, and time
with all its changes is ground away—and I
remember Doodle” (IR168).
“. I did not know then that pride is a
wonderful, terrible thing, a seed that bears
two vines, life and death” (IR ).
To get started: T-Charts
Character at the Beginning:
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Character at the End:
Rainsford:
“The world is made up of two classes--the
hunters and the huntees. Luckily, you and I
are hunters” (IR7). Foreshadowing
“…I'm a hunter, not a murderer“ (IR26).
Rainsford:
“Then it was that Rainsford knew the full
meaning of terror” (IR 32).
“’I am still a beast at bay, ’he said, in a low,
hoarse voice. ‘Get ready, General
Zaroff’”(IR ). Metaphor
The Sniper:
“He had been too excited to eat” (IR111).
“The sniper fired again. The woman whirled
round and fell with a shriek into the gutter”
(IR 112). Imagery
The Sniper:
“The lust of battle died in him. He became
bitten by remorse” (IR 114). Personification
“Then the sniper turned over the dead body
and looked into his brother's face” (114).
Sit. Irony
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
“When Doodle was five years old, I was
embarrassed at having a brother of that
Theme
age who couldn’t walk . . .” (IR170).
The knowledge that Doodle’s and my plans
had come to naught was bitter, and that
streak of cruelty within me awakened”(IR ).
“. . . the grindstone begins to turn, and time
with all its changes is ground away—and I
remember Doodle” (IR168). Symbolism
“. I did not know then that pride is a
wonderful, terrible thing, a seed that bears
two vines, life and death” (IR ).Metaphor
Continuing T-Charts
How the Character Changed/what he
learned:
Rainsford:
Rainsford learned what an animal
might feel when it is hunted. He also
learned that people can be savages.
The Sniper:
He learned that war has terrible
effects on people/ is brutal
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Connect to Theme:
Hunting is a cruel sport.
People can be very dangerous
and savage, even when they
seem civilized.
War is a terrible thing that
hurts everyone involved.
The Narrator (Doodle’s Brother):
Pride can make us do things that
are cruel/dangerous/unwise.
Pride can be good, but also
can be very destructive.
Plugging in to Outline
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
II.
Body Paragraph 1:
A. Topic Sentence with title, literary element and theme:
In the short story “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard
Connell, the protagonist Rainsford learns that
___________________________________
OR
Richard Connell explores the theme of savagery when his
protagonist Rainsford discovers __________________
__________________ in the adventure story “The Most
Dangerous Game”
(This one is higher level academically)
Plugging Into Outline
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
III. Body Paragraph 2:
A. Topic Sentence with title, literary element and theme:
In the short story “The Sniper” by Liam O’Flaherty, the
young protagonist learns about how war is
_______________________________.
OR
The young protagonist in Liam O’Flaherty’s realistic war
story “The Sniper” learns _______________
_________________________________________
(This one is higher level academically)
Plugging Into Outline
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
IV. Body Paragraph 3:
A. Topic Sentence with title, literary element and theme:
In the allegory “The Scarlet Ibis” by James Hurst,
Doodle’s brother learns that
_______________________________.
With the memory of his young brother’s death lingering
into adulthood, the narrator of James Hurst’s allegory
“The Scarlet Ibis” reflects on how
___________________________________________
___________________________________.
(This one is higher level academically)
Continuing Body Paragraph 1
B. Example from story, introduced, in quotation marks with page number
cited: _____________________
As he and his friend Whitney talk about hunting early in the story,
Rainsford says, “The world is made up of two classes--the hunters and
the huntees. Luckily, you and I are hunters” (IR7).
C. Explanation of the example, including what kind of literary device it
is:
This statement foreshadows the situational irony that happens when the
conflict develops and Rainsford later becomes the prey of General
Zaroff.
D. Further explanation of how the example shows the author’s purpose
and fits in to the theme:
At the beginning of the story, Rainsford only sees hunting from the
perspective of a hunter, and does not think about or care about the
cruelty of the sport.
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Second Half of Paragraph:
E. Second example from story, introduced, in quotation marks with page
number cited:
By the time he is being hunted by the crazed General, Rainsford has had a
change of heart as, “Then it was that Rainsford knew the full meaning of
terror” (IR 32).
F. Explanation of the example, including what kind of literary device it is:
The conflict he now finds himself in fulfills the foreshadowing from the
beginning, which is the irony that the hunter has become the hunted.
G. Further explanation of how the example shows the author’s purpose and
fits in to the theme:
Thematically, it tells the audience that a change in perspective because of a
conflict can change how someone feels about cruelty and savagery.
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Finishing the Paragraph
H. Concluding Sentence of Paragraph showing how
the character changed/learned because of the
conflict expressed through the examples:
The story’s theme of savagery and danger is
expressed by the changes in Rainsford’s character
because of his conflict.
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
The Paragraph Completed:
In the short story “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell, the
protagonist Rainsford learns that As he and his friend Whitney talk about hunting
early in the story, Rainsford says, “The world is made up of two classes--the hunters
and the huntees. Luckily, you and I are hunters” (IR7). This statement foreshadows
the situational irony that happens when Rainsford later becomes the prey of
General Zaroff. At the beginning of the story, Rainsford only sees hunting from the
perspective of a hunter, and does not think about or care the cruelty of the sport.
By the time he is being hunted by the crazed General, Rainsford has had a change
of heart as, “Then it was that Rainsford knew the full meaning of terror” (IR 32). The
conflict he now finds himself in fulfills the foreshadowing from the beginning, which
is the irony that the hunter has become the hunted. Thematically, it tells the audience
that a change in perspective because of a conflict can change how someone feels
about cruelty and savagery. The story’s theme of savagery and danger is
expressed by the changes in Rainsford’s character because of his conflict.
Don’t just copy what I write!
These are examples for you
to emulate, not imitate!!!
Thesis Statements for Literary
Analysis

What is a thesis statement? A thesis statement is the
controlling idea of a paper. It expresses succinctly the
idea that the body of the paper will prove. Other
names for the thesis statement are "main idea,"
"controlling idea," and "thesis." If the paper is a literary
analysis, your thesis statement will make a debatable
claim about one or more works of literature. Usually,
thesis statements appear in the first paragraph of the
paper.
Can any statement be a thesis
statement?

No. A thesis statement should be a fresh idea or
opinion that is supportable based on facts or
evidence taken from the story, poem or play discussed
in the literary analysis.

That is, a paper's thesis cannot be a restatement of fact or
an unsupportable opinion. A thesis statement must also be
interesting and not immediately obvious. It must
elaborate an idea that most readers would find new and
refreshing, rather than unduly familiar or self-evident. A
thesis statement often suggests a particular way of
reading or understanding a story, an interpretation that
the average reader wouldn't see right away. The best
thesis statements are specific rather than general.
Why does a paper need a strong
thesis statement?


A paper needs a strong thesis statement so that it can
make a strong argument. Weak thesis statements can
result in papers with no clear direction or in papers that
rely on plot summary to fill their pages. A good thesis
statement predicts limits and organizes the content of
the essay. In other words, it notifies your reader about
the scope of the paper, telling him or her exactly
what your paper will cover and in what order.
Can a thesis statement be more than
one sentence?

Yes. Often the best thesis statements are complex
enough to require two or even three sentences. If
you need several sentences to express your idea,
use them!
What would be an example of an
excellent thesis statement?
Look at the statements below about "Sonny's Blues" and decide whether each would
work as a thesis statement.
Because we sympathize with Sonny, the drug addict in the story, rather than with his brother,
the narrator, "Sonny's Blues" presents a complex picture of drug use as a means of
coping with sorrow and fear.
Good – we know the argument
In "Sonny's Blues," James Baldwin writes about two brothers attempting to repair their
relationship.
Just plot, not good
Both of the characters in "Sonny's Blues" -- Sonny and the narrator -- change over the course
of the story.
Just plot, not good
In "Sonny's Blues" Baldwin uses four female characters, three of whom are mothers and one
of whom is an artist, to establish his theme that there's no way to avoid suffering in life.
Weak – obvious argument, not good
By the end of "Sonny's Blues," the narrator is liberated from his warped personality; he
finally begins to feel, which means he will be freed from his fear and sadness.
Strong – argument and explanation
Now try it on your own:


Based on the proficiency essay prompt, write a
sentence or two that clearly states your ideas about
how the changes in the characters (what they learn)
are tied to theme and literary devices.
Take about five minutes. I’ll come by and see how
you have done.
Planning Organizer
Title:
The Sniper
Author:
Liam O’Flaherty
Genre:
Short Story
Theme: War is
devastating to
everyone
Literary Elements
Example or Quote:
Author’s Purpose
How it Fits Theme
Figurative Language 1.
2.
Imagery
1.
2.
Irony
1.
2.
Planning Organizer
Title:
The Most
Dangerous Game
Author:
Richard Connell
Genre:
Short Story
Theme: People can
be dangerous
Literary Elements
Example or Quote:
Author’s Purpose
How it Fits Theme
Foreshadowing
1.
2.
Imagery
1.
2.
Irony
1.
2.
Planning Organizer
Title:
The Scarlet Ibis
Author:
James Hurst
Genre:
Short Story
Theme: Pride can
cause us to destroy
things we love.
Literary Elements
Example or Quote:
Author’s Purpose
How it Fits Theme
Foreshadowing
1.
2.
Imagery
1.
2.
Symbolism
1.
2.