Help Yourself Beat the
Clock:
How to Write an Effective Thesis
Statement
Created by C. Wishart, Literacy Coach
Based on work by Joy Wingersky, Jan Boehner, and Diana Holguin-Balogh
Types of Thesis Statements:

Thesis statement
that states
direction:



A general
statement
Good for a
longer paper –
5 to 10 pages
Example:
Students with
learning
disabilities may
encounter
many
academic
problems.

Thesis statement that
states direction and
previews main points:



Lists what each paragraph
will be about
Keeps the paper on topic
Example: Students with
learning disabilities may
encounter academic,
social, and personal
problems.
Each point listed in the thesis
statement will be covered in one
paragraph in the 5 paragraph essay:






Students with learning disabilities may
encounter academic, social, and personal
problems.
Paragraph 1 in the essay will be the
introduction with the thesis statement.
Paragraph 2 will cover academic problems.
Paragraph 3 will cover social problems.
Paragraph 4 will cover personal problems.
Paragraph 5 will be the conclusion.
Important Points About Thesis
Statements:





Ideas in the thesis statement must be
coordinate and not subordinate.
Ideas in thesis statement must be broad
enough to write a paragraph about, but not
so broad that they can’t be addressed in
detail
Ideas in thesis statement must not overlap
Ideas in thesis statement must be parallel
Ideas in thesis statement must be
presented in a logical order
Ideas in the thesis statement must be
coordinate and not subordinate.

Coordinate means of
equal value.


Example: Car
maintenance involves
checking the oil,
checking the coolant,
and checking the air
– all are coordinate
Subordinate means of
lesser value.

Example: Car
maintenance involves
tuning the engine,
servicing the tires,
and checking the air
– checking the air is
subordinate to
servicing the tires.
“I’m more
important than
you are!!!”
Ideas in thesis statement must be broad
enough to write a paragraph about, but not so
broad that they can’t be addressed in detail.
Think
about Goldilocks and the Three
Bears:

Simple facts cannot sustain an entire
paragraph; they are too small.


Broad ideas cannot be contained in a single
paragraph; they are too big.


Goldilocks went into the house.
Fairy tales have many different types of themes.
Points in the thesis need to be just right.

Goldilocks learned to respect others’ property.
Ideas in a thesis statement must
not overlap.
When fighting a fire,
the firefighter must
pre-plan, initiate, and
evaluate.
Why am I reading the
same point twice?
Paragraph 2
When fighting a fire,
the firefighter must
pre-plan, strategize,
and evaluate.
Paragraph 3
Ideas in thesis statement must be
parallel:



Each point must be balanced.
Choose a grammatical structure.
Use nouns, verbs, phrases, or
clauses to organize your thesis
statement.
If an “-ing” verb form is used,
all divisions must be “-ing.”


For the elderly, having a pet means
receiving companionship, getting
exercise, and having protection. – Correct
For the elderly, having a pet means
companionship, getting exercise, and to
have protection. – Not parallel
If the present tense of the verb is
used, all divisions must be in the
present tense.


Elderly people with pets receive
companionship, get exercise, and
have protection. – Correct
Elderly people with pets receive
companionship, getting exercise,
and could have protection. – Not
parallel
If a noun is used, all divisions
must be nouns.


Having a pet can provide
companionship, exercise, and
protection for the elderly. – Correct
Having a pet can provide
companionship, exercise, and will
give protection for the elderly. – Not
parallel
If “to” is used before verb, must
have “to” before each division.*



Elderly people often own a pet to receive
companionship, to get exercise, and to have
protection. – Correct
Elderly people often own a pet to receive
companionship, for exercise, and to have
protection. – Not parallel
*Once “to” is written before the first verb, it is not
necessary to write each time. “Elderly people often own a
pet to receive companionship, get exercise, and have
protection” is also correct.
If a prepositional phrase is used,
all divisions must be prepositional
phrases.*

Elderly people often own pets for companionship,
for exercise, and for protection.- Correct
Elderly people often own pets for companionship,
to get exercise, and to have protection. – Not
parallel

*If the same preposition is used, it can be used only

once. “Elderly people often own pets for
companionship, exercise, and protection” is also
correct.
Ideas in thesis statement must be
presented in a logical order.

Divisions can be presented:

in increasing order of importance.

In decreasing order of importance

with the 2nd most important point first, the
most important point last, and the weaker
points in the middle.

in increasing interest.

in chronological order.

in sequential progression.
Divisions can be presented in
increasing order of importance.


Before buying a car, the buyer needs to
consider the style, condition, and cost of
the vehicle.
Choosing a family pet should be
determined by the family’s availability, the
family’s interests, and the family’s
dedication to meeting the animal’s needs.
Divisions can be presented in
decreasing order of importance.

When considering human
cloning, we must examine the
moral, physical, and economic
costs.
Divisions can be presented with the
2nd most important point first, the most
important point last, and the weaker
points in the middle.

Cigarette smoking effects a
person socially, economically,
and physically.
Divisions can be presented in
increasing interest.

As I reflect on my life, I realize
that it has been driven by my
love of books, education, and
family.
Divisions can be presented in
chronological order.

Harriet Tubman’s life can be
examined during her youth,
during the Civil War, and during
her senior years.
Divisions can be presented in
sequential progression.

When cooking a cake, the baker
must assemble the ingredients,
mix the ingredients in the proper
order, and bake the cake with
care.
Take one step
at a time.
Formulas Do Work When
Writing!



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
Choose the topic.
Choose the divisions, or sub-topics.
Write a thesis statement in parallel form.
Follow each division for each paragraph.
Earn a higher grade!
Give Credit Where Credit is
Due:

Wingersky, Joy, Jan Boehner and Diana
Holguin-Balogh. Writing Paragraphs and
Essays 2nd Ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth
Publishing, 1995. Print.

Many of the ideas for this presentation are
based on pages 132 – 152 in the above
text and the above text is often directly
quoted.