Grammar as Rhetoric and Style
from The Language of Composition
Direct, Precise, and Active Verbs
• Add energy to writing
Language of Composition – pp. 498-499
• Read the examples and the analysis of the effects
of the verbs.
Direct Verbs – use forms of “to be” sparingly in
favor of more direct verbs
Precise Verbs – verbs that create a more vivid
image of the action
Active Verbs – use active over passive voice
Verbs Practice
Improve the sentence below by replacing one or
more verbs with a more effective verb—more vivid,
precise, and active verb. Discuss the rhetorical
impact of your choice.
It was not very long before she regretted buying the
very expensive handbag.
More Practice: Before next class, review your
college essay for verb choice. Choose more vivid,
precise, and active verbs in favor of forms of “to be”
and passive voice.
Concise Diction
• Use language that is as straightforward as
possible.
Pitfalls to Avoid – See LoC pp. 592-593 for
examples.
Nominalization – changing a verb into a noun,
often resulting in wordiness (ex: discuss 
discussion; depend  dependence)
Showy Vocabulary – using “fancy” language
without a purpose (is the word really more
precise?)
Concise Diction Practice
Revise each sentence as necessary to improve
clarity and concision.
1. A person who has a dependence on constant
approval from others is usually insecure.
2. A key step toward losing weight is to make a
reduction in the amount of food you consume.
3. A recalcitrant attitude has resulted from too
many of our colleagues becoming mired in
quotidian concerns.
Pronouns
• Words that take the place of a noun
• Define viewpoint in writing
– First person, second person, third person
– Consistency is key for clarity (like we have talked
about with pronoun agreement)
Pronouns and Sexism
• The problem: third person singular pronoun to refer to
either a male or a female
• Solutions
– Combine the male and female pronouns: he or she
– Use the plural form of the pronoun: they (change the sentence
accordingly for agreement)
– Alternate the genders of the pronouns
• What are the implications in the following sentence?
– I hope I am not giving away professional secrets if I say that a
novelist’s chief desire is to be as unconscious as possible. He has
to induce in himself a state of perpetual lethargy.
Considering and correcting sexist pronoun use can help a
writer to enhance credibility.
Pronouns and Style
• First person pronouns
– More informal, emphasize personal experience
• Second person pronouns
– Reserved for informal situations where you want
to directly address and engage the reader (ex:
editorials, speeches)
• Third person pronouns
– More formal, objective
Pronoun Practice
• Complete Exercise 2 on pages 424-425
according to the directions.
Appositives
• Noun or noun phrase that tells you something
about a nearby noun or pronoun
– It turned out that one of the top students, Denny
Davies, had learned of this rule.
– Kennedy, a wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a
stern buzz cut, was in 1997 the principal of
Sarasota High School.
Functions of Appositives
• Clarify a term
– …an automaton, a machine, can be made to keep
a school so.
– Yet in other genres—fiction and memoir—the
news is far more upsetting.
• Smooth choppy writing.
– Without the appositive
• An automaton is a machine. The automaton can be
made to keep a school so.
Appositives - Punctuation
• Usually, appositives are set off with punctuation
– No punctuation needed if the sentence cannot be
understood without the appositive
• Punctuation Options
– Commas
• Kennedy, a wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a stern buzz cut, was
in 1997 the principal of Sarasota High School.
– Dashes – add emphasis or clarity
• In 1981, two professors…began following the lives of eighty-one
high-school valedictorians—forty-six women and thirty-five men
from Illinois.
– Colon – add emphasis or clarity
• We are given plenty of instruction about the specifics of writing:
word choice, description, style.
Appositives - Position
• Before or after the noun?
– Before: A wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a stern
buzz cut, Daniel Kennedy was in 1997 the principal
of Sarasota High School.
• What effect does this move have on the sentence?
Appositive Practice
Identify the appositive and the word or phrase it modifies
• My father, a truly exceptional man, worked at an ordinary
job and was unknown outside of the small town where he
lived.
• The eruptions in the early part of our century—the time of
world wars and emergent modernity—were premonitions
of a sort.
Application
• Turn to page 171 in your books. Complete 1-5 in exercise 3.
• Choose one of the sentences in exercise 5 on page 173.
Complete the exercise for that particular sentence
following the directions listed.
Modifiers
• Describes, focuses, qualifies the nouns,
pronouns, and verbs they modify
– Adjective, phrase, clause
• Consider the following example. Where are
the modifiers and what are their effect?
– Sprawling and dull in class, he comes alive in the
halls and in the cafeteria.
• Incorrectly or overusing modifiers can make
writing too wordy or unclear
Modifiers for Style
• Placement is important—what is the
difference in effect here?
– Physically awkward, she walks like a seal crossing a
beach, and is prone to drop her books and dither
in terror when she stands before a handsome boy.
– When she stands before the handsome boy,
physically awkward, she walks like a seal crossing a
beach, and is prone to drop her books and dither
in terror.
A Word of Caution
• Don’t use too many
– The bright yellow compact car with the pun-laden,
out-of-state vanity plates was like beautiful, warm
sunshine on the gray, dreary Tuesday afternoon.
• Don’t rely on adjectives over strong verbs
– Elaine walked with a confident and quick stride.
– Elaine strutted.
• Don’t add too many qualifiers (especially really
and very)
– Troy felt really sad.
– Troy felt discouraged.
Modifiers Practice
• Complete Exercise 3 from page 794 according
to the directions.
Short Simple Sentences and
Fragments
• Simple Sentence – consists of one independent
clause (S-V-complete thought)
– Finally she tells me not to worry.
– The emails and phone messages addressed to my
former self come from a distant race of people with
exotic concerns and far too much time on their hands.
Can be short, but can also be quite long with
compound subjects, verbs, and modifiers.
• Fragment – incomplete sentence, missing subject,
verb, or both
– Hurry, I urge my country. Before it’s too late.
Short Simple Sentences and Fragments - Style
• Short simple sentences can be effective in several
situations
– After several long sentences
– As a summary of important ideas
– As a transition between sentences or paragraphs
• Too many can make writing sound monotonous
• Fragments should be used sparingly, but can be
effective
– To make a transition
– To signal a conclusion
– To emphasize a point
Short Sentences and Fragments Practice
• Complete Exercise 3 on page 255 according to
the directions.
Parallelism
• Structures within sentences take the same form
– Words, phrases, and clauses
• Words
– Why should we live with such a hurry and waste for life?
• Phrases
– Men esteem truth remote, in the outskirts of the system, behind
the farthest star, before Adam and after the last man.
• Clauses
– If we are really dying, let us hear the rattle in our throats and
feel the cold in the extremities; if we are alive, let us go about
our business.
Parallelism creates a feeling of balance and can show that
two or more ideas are of equal weight
When parallelism is broken…
• Consider the difference in the following
sentence:
– Why should we live with such a hurry and to
waste life?
• What happens to the sentence when parallel
structure is broken?
Types of Parallelism
• Anaphora: repetition of a word or phrase at the
beginning of successive clauses
– Exercise builds stamina in young children; exercise builds
stamina in teenagers and adults; exercise builds stamina in
older adults and senior citizens.
• Epistrophe: Repetition of the same group of words at
the end of successive clauses.
– To become a top-notch player, I thought like an athlete; I
trained like an athlete; I ate like an athlete.
• Antithesis: the contrast of thoughts in two phrases,
clauses, or sentences
– Freedom is never voluntary given by the oppressor; it must
be demanded by the oppressed.
Types of Parallelism, cont.
• Antimetabole: The repetition of words in one
phrase or clause in the reverse order in the next
phrase or clause
– We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us.
• Zeugma: one part of speech (usually a verb) is
related to another part of speech in a way that is
consistent with grammar but incongruous with
meaning.
– Kill the boys and the luggage!
• Can make for an ironic or humorous effect.
Parallelism Practice
• Complete Exercise 1 on page 343.
• Choose one option in Exercise 2 on page 343
and complete according to the directions.
Coordination in the Compound
Sentence
• Coordination gives equal value and significance to
two or more elements in a sentence.
– Join words, phrases, and independent clauses
• Use coordination to join two independent clauses
to create a compound sentence
• Creating compound sentences
– Coordinating conjunctions(FANBOYS)
– Correlative conjunction (not only…but also; either…or;
just as…so also)
– Semicolon and conjunctive adverb
Effect of Coordination
• Coordinating Conjunctions Combining Main Clauses
– Morbid curiosity is an occupational hazard for a writer, I suppose. I’ve
never been bothered by it before.
– Morbid curiosity is an occupational hazard for a writer, I suppose, but
I’ve never been bothered by it before.
• Semicolons Joining Main Clauses
– Nature was then. This is Now
– Nature was then; this is now.
• Semicolons and Conjunctive Adverbs Joining Main Clauses
– Now he no longer let the dog go to the lighted tunnel at once. He put
out the light, and then kept the dog waiting a little while before he let
him go.
– Now he no longer let the dog go to the lighted tunnel at once; instead,
he put out the light, and then kept the dog waiting a little while before
he let him go.
Coordination for Style
• Coordinating conjunctions smooth two
shorter sentences
• Conjunctions specify the relationships
between two ideas
• Semicolons can indicate a closer relationship
than a period or conjunction
Starting With a Conjunction
• Beginning with a conjunction is acceptable and
can be effective
– Don’t overuse it
• Discuss the effect of this technique in the
following example:
– I feel very strongly that our present technological
trends drive us toward a decrease in the space—be it
in the soundscape, the landscape, or the mindscape—
in which the unplanned and the unplannable can
happen. Yet silence has to remain available in the
soundscape, the landscape, and the mindscape.
Polysyndeton and Asyndeton
These techniques influence pace, emphasis, and
complexity.
• Polysyndeton: the deliberate use of a series of
conjunctions
– When you get to college you may study history and
psychology and literature and mathematics and
botany.
• Asyndeton: the deliberate omission of
conjunctions
– From his wealthy parents he received his wardrobe,
his car, his tuition, his vacation, his attitude.
Coordination Practice
• Choose one passage from Exercise 4 on pages
704-705.
• Analyze the use of coordination in the passage
according the directions.
Subordination in the Complex
Sentence
• Subordination: making the meaning of one
clause dependent upon another clause
– Uses a subordinating conjunction (ex: if, because,
when, although, etc.)
• Complex Sentence: sentenced formed by an
independent clause and a dependent clause
• Subordination tells how ideas in a complex
sentence are related
Subordination and Relationships
• Contrast or Concession
– Conjunctions: although, even
though, thought, while,
whereas
– Ex: Although the book was not
entirely free of the stereotypes
of contemporary British
colonial writing, it was in some
ways remarkably advanced for
its time.
• Cause and Effect or Reason
– Conjunctions: because, since,
so that
– Ex: Because neither island was
well suited to agriculture, the
company in 1733 purchased St.
Croix from France.
• Condition
– Conjunctions: if, once, unless
– Ex: I can think of no one
objection that will possible be
raised against this proposal
unless it should be urged that
the number of people will be
thereby much lessened in the
kingdom.
• Time
– Conjunctions: when, whenever,
after, before, as, once, since,
while
– Ex: I had committed myself to
doing it when I sent for the
rifle.
Subordination for Style
• Which clause should be dependent?
– Independent clause will carry the most force—use this
clause to add emphasis.
• Where to put the subordinate clause?
– How does the effect change in the second sentence?
• Though it was still August, the air had a lovely smell of
October, football season, piles of yellow-red leaves,
everything crisp and clean.
• The air already had the smell of October, football season,
piles of yellow-red leaves, everything crisp and clean, though
it was still August.
Subordination Practice
• Review passage #4 in Exercise 3 on 1005 and
follow the directions given. In your journal,
discuss how Thoreau uses subordination in
this passage to inspire his reader. Consider not
only what is subordinated, but where the
subordinate clauses are placed and the
relationships between subordinate and main
clauses.
Cumulative, Periodic, and Inverted
Sentences
• Cumulative (Loose) Sentence: begins with a standard
sentence pattern and adds multiple details after it. These
details accumulate at the end of the sentence.
– The women moved through the streets as winged messengers,
twirling around each other in slow motion, peeking inside
homes and watching the easy sleep of men and women.
• Periodic Sentence: Begins with multiple details and ends
with the standard sentence pattern.
– Often, after filling several notebooks with dozens of interviews,
reading several books, diving into all manner of research
materials, and making research trips, when I sit down to write, I
do so without looking at my notes at all.
• Inverted sentence: Verb comes before the subject
– Everywhere was a shadow of death.
Unusual Patterns for Style
• Unusual sentence patterns call attention to specific
sentences and ideas.
• Use for emphasis, rhythm, tension, dramatic effect
• Identify the pattern and consider the effect in the
following sentences.
– In the woods, is perpetual youth.
– It is a wilderness that is beautiful, dangerous, abundant,
oblivious of us, mysterious, never to be conquered or
controlled or second-guessed, or known more than a little.
– Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles, at twilight,
under a clouded sky, without having in my thoughts any
occurrence of a special good fortune, I have enjoyed a
perfect exhilaration.
Unusual Patterns Practice
• Complete Exercise 1 on pages 897-898
according to the directions.
• Choose one item from Exercise 5 on pages
899-900 and complete according to the
directions.