Saint Paul College, Pasig - Davao
Parents’ Recollection
Introduction: Gen 3:1-13 (The
Fall of Man)
God asked them,
“Where are you?”
Question: “Where are you?”
– This does not mean that God does not know
where he is but God wants Adam and Eve to
articulate where they are.
Where are you in your being parents?
Who is controlling your life ( the serpent?)
Why? …. (question on motivation)
- “Paradise” is perfect but Adam and Eve still
failed!
- Perfect situation is not a guarantee of not
failing…
- Do not blame others. We are liable to our
options.
Where are you in your being parents?
Who is controlling your life ( the
serpent?)
Why? …. (question on motivation)
- “Paradise” is perfect but Adam and
Eve still failed!
- Perfect situation is not a guarantee
of not failing…
- Do not blame others. We are liable
to our options.
General over view on Parenting
1. Parenthood is one of the most
solemn and far reaching privilege
and responsibility granted to
human beings.
General over view on Parenting
2. Influences to Children:
- facing the issues of earthly
life.
- for or against eternal life.
General over view on Parenting
3. Parenting :exalted privilege
and a first class responsibility.
This sacred trust demands
parents highest responsibilities,
their noblest attention, and their
richest investment of time and
effort
General over view on Parenting
The greatest characteristic of a
successful parent is love.
The greatest challenge of
parenting is Control.
The interaction of Love and
Limits is probably the keenest
cause of tension in parenting
today.
Styles of Parenting
I.The Neglectful Parent
•Traits of Parents
- Low on love and low on limits.
- View their children as interferences in the
course of their lives, a hindrance to the
pursuit of career or an obstacle to their fun.
- Consequently, they distance themselves
from their children and develop no positive
relationship.
-Teach no standards of right or wrong
because they are low on limits.
- Give correction only when they are irritated
and this often results to abuse.
Styles of Parenting
•Resultant traits in children
-Children feel unloved, unwanted, and unwelcomed.
-They suffer from low self esteem because they
don’t feel valued by their parents.
-They also feel insecure because the absence of
limits and standards breeds insecurity.
-Often, they are low achievers for they lack
motivation.
-They tend to become rebellious, reactive
against injustice which they have experienced.
As such, they become prime candidates for
criminal activity.
Styles of Parenting
II. The Permissive
Parents:
Traits of Parents
- High on Love but low on Limits.
- Very loving and very caring, they endeavor
to satisfy the many needs of their children.
- So caring that they are often over protective,
making decisions that their children should be
taught to make.
- Obsessed with the development of the
child’s self-concept.
- Low on limits and offer no clear guidelines of
right and wrong.
- Create no laws and enforce no standards.
Styles of Parenting
- When confronted with the child’s
negative behavior, they are quick to
offer excuses with the hope that such
behavior will correct itself in due
course.
- At times, they may plead with the child
for change, but they never insist on
compliance.
Styles of Parenting
•Resultant Traits in Children:
-The child is in charge, and is allowed to have his/her
own way.
-With no established boundaries of behavior, these
children are insecure.
-With no required limits to their conduct, they tend to
lack self-control.
-Conformity to authority is alien to them.
-They delight in manipulating parents recognizing that
their love “has no limits.”
-Usually weak on making moral choices since they were
not exposed to clear lines of right and wrong.
Styles of Parenting
The Authoritarian Parents:
•Traits of Parents
- Converse of the permissive.
- Low in Love, high in Limits.
- Utter no expressions of Love, and their children
are sensitive to this absence.
- The relationship seems to be that of master and
servant rather than being parents and children.
- There is little dialogue and the child’s opinion
are neither solicited nor respected.
- Seldom offer their children opportunities for
making choices.
Styles of Parenting
- Insensitive to the needs and feelings of
their offspring and thus these needs
remain unattended.
-They are proud of their limits. They
focus on behavior, obedience, and
conformity. They are very strict and tend
to ensure that the limits are respected.
-They are over concerned about the
family’s reputation and “what people will
say.”
- Corporal punishment is frequently
applied.
Styles of Parenting
•Resultant Traits in Children
•Suffer from low self-esteem because they were
denied affirmation.
-Some tend to withdraw from the society
because they have not been conscious or their
true potential/
-Others go to the other extreme and develop a
spirit of resistance to rules, rebelling against
authority.
-In the field of values, two extremes emerge:
1.Blind, over-conformity to their parents’
values
2.Total rejection of parents’ value-system.
-Ill-equipped for making choices since they are
given little opportunity to develop that skill.
Styles of Parenting
The Authoritative Parents
•Traits of Parents:
-The ideal parenting style.
-High on Love, High on Limits
-Their first concern is a loving relationship
with their children.
Authoritativephysical
Parents
-TheyTheexpress
affection and
ensure that their love is felt.
-They take time to talk and to listen to their
children and are sensitive and supportive.
-They involve their kids in decision-making
process and teach them to make choices
even at the risk of making the wrong ones
at times.
-Here, parents and children are friends.
Styles of Parenting
The Authoritative Parents
•Traits of Parents:
- Abundant in Love and set Limits to
behavior.
- Establish clearly-defined rules of
conduct, and they explain the reasons
for those standards so that children
can obey intelligently.
-They require conformity but also
provide for flexibility.
- They are firm but loving. They do
discipline in Love.-
Styles of Parenting
The Authoritative Parents
•Resultant Traits in Children
-The children have a high sense of self-worth for they
know that they are loved and valued.
-Have learned to obey without tyrannical domination,
they develop self-control.
-They have a sense of security for they have been given
limits with clear reasons why.
-They have been taught and given the opportunity to
make choices.
-Children here are least rebellious, most self-assured,
and best equipped to face the issues of life
successfully.
Lay Spirituality in PCP II
• Christocentric (Trinitarian)
– Begin with a personal encounter with Christ
• Not just inherited/passed on but beyond family traditions
• Ability to see God’s will in one’s secular duties performing
with love…(cf PCP II no. 441)
• Personal relationship with God through personal prayer
and the Eucharist as the summit
– Trinitarian – Father as Creator, we are co-creators
Son as Redeemer, We are co-redeemers ;
discipleship
Spirit as Sanctifier, We are co-sanctifiers; deep
sense of mission
• Preferential
• In favor for the Poor. God’s will is that none of his
children should lack the necessities of decent living
• Evangelical Spirit of poverty
– Detachment
– Trust in the Lord
• Special love for the poor as first act of service for them
• The poor does not remain as recipients but be
communicators of love themselves
• Ministerial
– Service patterned in the heart of Jesus who came
not to be served but to serve
– Service for the Church and humanity
– “Nobody is so poor as to have nothing to give,
and nobody is so rich as to have nothing to
receive” (PCP II no. 98)
– “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you
will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2)
• Missionary
– Looking beyond our native shores
– Re-evangelization of fellow Christians by Word and Work
(ora et labora)
– Call to the apostolate (priestly, prophetic, kingly) in the
secular affairs
• Ministry of the Word (as parents, educators, catechists,
benefactors etc)
• Bringing contemporary problems for Christian
interpretation and resolution
• Through direct mandate “by the hierarchy to exercise
church functions for a spiritual purpose (LG 33)
The Laity and the Church’s Mission
• Call to the Apostolate of the Church
– By virtue of baptism and confirmation
• Not by special mandate of the hierarchy
• Not derived from an emergencies of the moment.
• Laity’s natural right to be part of the Church’s Apostolate.
• Call to witness in the Society
• Secular quality as proper to the laity (LG, 31)
• Secular context, laity achieve their sanctification (AA, 7)
• The Laity evangelize by the witness of their lives (LG, 12)
• Call to Mission in the church and in the World
• Participation on the ministry of the Word (as parents,
educators, catechists (AA, 9)
• Contribution of time and money for apostolic endeavors
• Could have direct mandate by the hierarchy to exercise
Church functions for a spiritual purpose. (LG 33)
• Call to build Christian families
• Major task of the Laity – Family life! Thus,
contribute to the resolution of one of the most
urgent problems facing humanity (AA, 11:1)
– Family as schools of holiness (LG, 35),
» social virtues, ministry (LG, 32),
» and of the social defense of the family
values (GS 52)
» As domestic church (LG, 11)
» Gather other families for mutual
support (AA, 11)
God Bless you all!