Effective business messages

Topics to be covered:
 Positive
messages
 Negative messages
 Persuasive messages
By: Jordan M. Strowder
Class: Business Communications
Sending positive written messages
outside your organization


Most workplace messages deal with routine matters
and require straight forward answers using the direct
method.
Written messages are necessary when:
A
permanent record is required.
 Confidentiality is paramount.
 Formality and sensitivity are essential.
 A persuasive, well-considered presentation is important.
Direct requests for information or
action


Many business messages are written to request
information or action.
Requests for action contain 3 parts:
1.
2.
3.
Opening-This is usually a request or polite command.
Body- This explains the request logically and
courteously. And asks any remaining questions.
Closing- The closing request specific action with an end
date, if needed, and shows appreciation.
Direct Claims

Direct Claims can be made by phone, e-mail, or letter.
Written letters hold the most weight because, it creates
a permanent record. Direct claims should follow these
steps:
 Open
with a clear statement of what you want.
 Justify by explaining your claim in the body.
 Close you claim with a specific action request
 Finally put these parts together, and revise your claim.
Direct Replies
Messages
that reply,
often reply
directly and
favorably to
requests for
information
or action.
•
This is easily
done by
applying the
direct
pattern.
1.
2.
•
3.
Open directly with the information the
reader wants.
Replies should be arranged logically,
and the information should be
readable.
Close your reply pleasantly, and
personally.
Adjustment Letters


When replying to a claim
favorably, the letter is
called an adjustment
letter.
These messages have
three primary goals:
1.
2.
3.
To rectify the wrong.
To regain the customers
confidence.
To promote future
business and goodwill.

The writing plan consist of
a:
Subject line
 Opening



Reveals good news
Body
Explain how you are
complying.
 Decide whether to
apologize.


Closing

Be confident and helpful.
Goodwill Messages

When sending a goodwill message, it should be:
 Selfless
 Specific
 Sincere
 Spontaneous
 Short

Goodwill messages express thanks in one way or
another.
May 25, 200x
Ms. Breanna Lee, Manager
White-Rather Enterprises
1349 Century Boulevard
Wichita Falls, TX 76308
Dear Ms. Lee:
Subject: Your May 20 Inquiry about Work Zone Software
Yes we do offer personal record-keeping software specially designed for small businesses like yours. Here are answers to
your three questions about this software:
1. Our Work Zone software provides standard employee forms so you are always in compliance with current government
regulations.
2. You receive an interviewer's guide for structured employee interviews, and you also receive a scripted format for
checking references by telephone.
3. Yes, you can update your employee’s records easy without the need for additional software, hardware, or training.
Our Work Zone software was specially designed to provide you with expert forms for interviewing, verifying references,
recording attendance, evaluating performance and tracking the status of your employees. We even provide you with step
by step instructions, and suggested procedures. You can treat your employees as if you had a Professional Human
Resources Specialist on your staff.
On page 6 of the enclosed pamphlet you can read about our Work Zone software. To receive a preview copy or to ask
questions about its use just call: 1-800-354-5500. Our specialists are eager to help you week days from 8 to 5 PST. If you
prefer visit our Web site at www.workzone.com for more information, or to place an order.
Sincerely,
Jacob Scott
Senior Marketing Representative
Enclosure
Negative Messages
Strategies for delivering bad news



Use the indirect pattern to prepare the reader.
Apply the writing process.
Avoid the three causes of legal problems.
 Abusive
Language
 Careless Language
 The good-guy syndrome
Techniques for delivering bad news
sensitively
Buffer the opening- Open with a neutral, and concise
statement that is meaningful and makes the reader
continue reading.
 Apologizing- Apologize sincerely and responsibly.
 Empathy- Put yourself in their shoes.
You want to clearly present reasons for the bad news,
this should be well cushioned and closed pleasantly.

Refusing direct requests and claims



When refusing requests and claims, anticipate the
receivers reaction to determine whether to use the
direct or indirect pattern.
Refuse requests from outsiders with praise and good
transitional flow.
Refusing internal requests focus on explanations, and
praise maintaining a positive tone and offering
alternatives.
Delivering bad news to customers

Dealing with disappointed customers in the following
way:
 Call
the individual involved.
 Describe the problem and apologize.
 Explain why the problem occurred, the resolve and how
you will prevent this in the future.


When denying claims use the reasons-before-refusal
pattern.
When refusing credit the goal is to maintain customer
goodwill, and avoid actionable language.
Delivering bad news within
organizations
Delivering bad news personally






Gather all the information.
Prepare an outline and
rehearse.
Explain: Past, Present, Future.
Consider taking a partner
Think about timing.
Be patient with the reaction.
Delivering workplace bad news




Buffer: Open with a Neutral
positive statement.
Reasons: Explain the logic behind
the bad news.
Bad News: Position the bad news
so that it doesn’t stand out. Be
positive, don’t sugarcoat.
Closing: Provide information
about an alternative, if one
exists.
Ethics and the indirect strategy



Using the indirect strategy can prevent causing pain
and hard feelings.
When using the indirect approach your motive is not
to deceive, but to be a compassionate and effective
communicator.
The key to ethical communication lies in the motives
of the sender.
03/23/2010
Mr. John Brumfield
Human Resources Development
Gulfport Energy Enterprises
1400 Longhorn Blvd.
Houston, TX 76400
Dear Mr. Brumfield:
Did you know about the direct link between the health of your employees, and the health of your
profits? Because we in the midst of tough economic times, you are in all probability looking for
benefits to offer your employees that help both you and them.
The benefits of healthier employees includes lower health care costs, fewer medical claims,
improved productivity, better morale and absenteeism is reduced. Here is how you can help your
employees to have sound bodies, and also improve your company’s profits:
•You should have us manage your on-site fitness center.
•Bring our aerobics, massage, weight loss and educational programs on-site.
•Provide them with Galaxy Fitness health club discounts.
Business Fortune Magazine recently reported the following: "After a prevention and early
intervention health program was implemented at L. L. Bean loss claims dropped by approximately
40 percent."
Please call (713) 839-2300 and speak to Jan Novak who is our corporate fitness expert to learn
how you can add to the health of each and every employee and also to you are bottom line.
Sincerely,
Galaxy Fitness
Missy Mischke
Senior Marketing Manager
Missy.mischke@galaxyfitness.com
Persuasive messages
Making persuasive requests
Persuasion is necessary when you anticipate resistance, or
when you must prepare before you can present you ideas
effectively.
When requesting favors and/or actions present your
information with a smile in your writing. Use praise and
enticements that are hard to refuse.
Making persuasive requests

When persuading within
organizations, you must
decide whether or not to
use a direct or indirect,
formal or informal
approach; depending on
if you are speaking to
subordinates or the boss.
Persuading subordinates- The
goal is to present a strong
but honest argument;
important to the
organization.
Persuading the boss- When
persuading the boss use key
phrases like: Suggest and
recommend, or it might be a
good idea if ect.
Composing Claims and Complaint
messages
Persuasive claim and
complaint letters
generally focus on
damaged products,
mistaken billing,
inaccurate shipments,
warranty problems,
return policies,
insurance issues, faulty
merchandise, ect.
•
Effective claim letters
make a reasonable
claim , present a
logical case with clear
facts, and adopt a
moderate tone.
•


Logical development- A claim letter is more effective if
you strive for logical development keeping in mind what
you want to include in your opening, body and closing. Be
sure to think through you writing possibilities to make your
writing request is reasonable.
Moderate Tone- The tone of your message is important,
you do not want to express that you believe they have
done this on purpose. Instead you should calmly express
your disappointment in light of your high expectations;
and communicate you feelings.
Writing sales and marketing messages




Attention- One of the most critical elements of a sales
letter is the opening paragraph, the attention-getter.
Interest- Here, describe clearly the product or service;
think of this part as a promise to the reader.
Desire- In this stage the object is instill desire and
overcome resistance. The best way to accomplish this is to
focus on the readers benefits.
Actions- This section provides the punch line and puts the
reader into action. Make this easier by providing reply
cards with postage paid, and contact information.
Writing successful online sales and
marketing messages.





Email- Using the internet and e-mail to market your
campaign you will be able to reach a greater number
of people at cost efficient rates.
Blogs- Blogs serve as a very important public relations
tool, and shows company goodwill.
Wikis- In business wikis document and publish a
complex process to a group of recipients.
RSS (really simple syndication)- A tool used to keep
business partners and customer up to date.
Podcasts- Company information distributed to be
downloader via computer or Mp3 player.
Current date
Mrs. E. R. Churchill
224 Oak Grove Avenue
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
Dear Mrs. Churchill:
This message is to inform you that we appreciate receiving your recent letter requesting that
the curve in Highway 35 be rebuilt. The Department of Transportation shares your concerns for the
safety of the stretch between Mount Vernon, and Pittsboro, which is near your home.
Highway 35 as you mentioned has many hills curves and blind spots. However, its accident
rate of 4.05 per million vehicle miles is far from the worse in the state. In fact at least 49 other
state highways have worse safety records.
At this point in time, I want you to know we do have studies under way that will result in the
relocation of sections of highway 35 to terrain that will provide safer driving conditions. As you are
aware such changes take time; we must coordinate our plans with town county state and federal
authorities. Money is assigned to these projects by priority and Highway 35 does not have top
priority. In addition accidents along Highway 35 are not concentrated at any one curve; they are
spread out over the entire highway.
For all of the above reasons, we do not anticipate immediately rebuilding any curves on
Highway 35. In the near future we plan to install guardrails and we will be certain to place a
guardrail at the curve that concerns you.
We appreciate your concern for safety Mrs. Churchill. Please write to us again if you have
other ideas for reducing accidents.
Sincerely,
Mitchell M. Overton
Office of Safety and Speed Management
Works Cited
Guffet, M.-E. (2010). Essentials of Business Communications
. Mason, Oh: South-Western Cengage Learning.