Making Your
Proposal Graphics
a Hit with Dynamite
Action Captions
1
Sandy Luttrell
Hewlett-Packard Company
SOUTHERN PROPOSAL
ACCENTS CONFERENCE
2010
ATLANTA, GA
OBJECTIVES
FOR THIS SESSION
• Importance of good Action Captions
• What makes a good Action Caption
• Examples of Traditional vs. Action Captions
• How to create a good Action Caption
• Repeatable process for analyzing surrounding text
• Hands-on exercises to create Action Captions
that are a HIT
• Q&A
2
3
WHAT IS AN ACTION CAPTION?
• After headlines and graphics, captions are the
third most looked at portion of most printed pages
• Captions provide an opportunity to both explain
and summarize an idea, concept, solution
• Well-written captions are one more opportunity
to pull the reader into the RFP response
• Looking at a picture without a caption is like
watching television with the sound turned off!!!
4
IS IT A GOOD
ACTION CAPTION?
5
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does it interpret, inform, or persuade?
ACME’s project organization
ACME’s project organization is staffed with key
leadership personnel who have successfully
demonstrated their ability on projects
of comparable size and complexity.
6
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does the caption interpret, inform, or
persuade?
ACME’s project organization
ACME’s project organization is staffed with key
leadership personnel who have successfully
demonstrated their ability on projects of
comparable size and complexity
7
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does the caption grab the reader’s attention
and deliver the message in 10 seconds?
Map of Our Local Locations
The proximity of our local offices in Fort McCloud
will afford rapid response to address your
changing support requirements.
8
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Is the caption in short sentences and does it
deliver a concise message?
Project Organization Chart
Each member of our multi-level project team is
proficient in USACE technical levels required by
your dynamic environment requirements.
9
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Does the caption communicate a feature,
benefit or both?
Feature = something unique about
the goods, services or idea
being offered
Benefit = something that addresses a
concern or solves a problem for the
customer (their hot buttons/pain points)
10
IS IT A GOOD ACTION CAPTION?
–Is the caption customer-focused?
Understanding of the Requirements
We understand Jobeson Corporation’s technical
requirements and we are dedicated to meet them with
cost-effective streamlined procedures and IT focused processe
11
HOW TO CREATE
AN ACTION
CAPTION
12
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#1 - What is the graphic’s intent?
Convey growth
Interpret/explain the
features of your products
Inform the customer about the
benefits of your products
Persuade the customer why you should be
their vendor of choice
13
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#2 - Is there an existing “horse” caption that
can be modified?
What in the world is a “horse caption”?
?
14
?
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
Horse
15
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
Triple Crown Winner and thoroughbred, “Milkshake”,
generated a continued revenue stream for 10 consecutive
years, which led to early retirement in an idyllic location
16
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#3 - What key words or concepts in the
surrounding text directly preceding or
following the graphic can be used?
Competitive Differentiators – Providing ABC Unmatched
Breadth, Depth and Experience
Legacy web application scanners are simply not designed to navigate and interpret today’s
web applications with active content, mandatory two-factor authentication, and other
advancements. Simply put, traditional scanners cannot see the entire application. As a
result, they fail to discover exploitable security vulnerabilities that exist in the more dynamic
and complex regions of modern web applications. This failure results in an unacceptable
level of security risk.
An effective end-to end application security testing solution
such as the ACME Application Security Center can enable ABC to:
•
•
•
17
•
Lower risks by detecting security defects early in the application software
development lifecycle
Reduce time and budget for a security risk assessment through consolidated,
automated testing
Facilitate a coordinated application security testing program across various
departments in different locations
Provide visibility into enterprise-wide application security status through
re-configured reports
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#4 Can you identify key benefits or features that can
be emphasized in the new Action Caption?
Feature = something unique about
the goods, services or idea being offered
Benefit = something that addresses a
concern or solves a problem for the
customer (their hot buttons/pain points)
18
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#5 Is the Action Caption customer-focused?
Have you considered Customer’s
• Hot buttons, key concern
• Location(s)
• Name
19
HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION CAPTION
#6 Can you delete any of the text in the
proposal body and replace it with the
new Action Caption?
Competitive Differentiators – Providing ABC Unmatched
Breadth, Depth and Experience
Legacy web application scanners are simply not designed to navigate and interpret today’s
web applications with active content, mandatory two-factor authentication, and other
advancements. Simply put, traditional scanners cannot see the entire application. As a
result, they fail to discover exploitable security vulnerabilities that exist in the more dynamic
and complex regions of modern web applications. This failure results in an unacceptable
level of security risk.
An effective end-to end application security testing solution
such as the ACME Application Security Center can enable ABC to:
•
•
•
20
•
Lower risks by detecting security defects early in the application software
development lifecycle
Reduce time and budget for a security risk assessment through consolidated,
automated testing
Facilitate a coordinated application security testing program across various
departments in different locations
Provide visibility into enterprise-wide application security status through
re-configured reports
ACTION CAPTION
CREATION
REPEATABLE
PROCESS
21
TRADITIONAL CAPTIONS
WHAT’S MISSING?
Who/What
Benefits
Features
22
EXAMPLE 1
Acme Utility Computing Solutions
Companies today face increasing complexity, constant change and escalating costs as they seek new ways to
derive business value from their information technology (IT) investments. It capacity is a moving target—excess
capacity means wasted profit, while insufficient capacity can lead to missed service level agreements (SLA) and
dissatisfied customers. Scaling It to meet changing needs is a business imperative, yet competitive pressures allow
scarce time for adequate planning.
Aligning IT Costs with Business Value
Acme offers an innovative alternative to solving IT capacity challenges. Acme Utility Computing solutions is an
integrated set of products, services and financing designed to deliver IT infrastructure resources when and where
needed, with payment based on usage. Combining proven Acme technology and services strength, Utility
Computing solutions provide the flexibility to align computing capacity to fluctuating business needs. With Utility
Computing solutions from Acme, [CustomerName] not only can contain procurement and support costs, but also
can gain enhanced business agility.
23
ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
Acme Utility Computing Solutions
Companies today face increasing complexity, constant change and escalating
costs as they seek new ways to derive business value from their information technology
(IT) investments. IT capacity is a moving target—excess capacity means wasted
profit, while insufficient capacity can lead to missed service level agreements
(SLA) and dissatisfied customers. Scaling It to meet changing needs is a business
imperative, yet competitive pressures allow scarce time for adequate planning.
Acme offers an innovative alternative to solving IT capacity challenges. Acme Utility
Computing solutions is an integrated set of products, services and financing designed to
deliver IT infrastructure resources when and where needed, with payment based on
usage. Combining proven Acme technology and services strength, Utility Computing
solutions provide the flexibility to align computing capacity to fluctuating business
needs. With Utility Computing solutions from ACME, [CustomerName] not only can
contain procurement and support costs, but also can gain enhanced business agility.
24
Who/What:
Benefits:
Features:
CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Who/What:
Companies that face increasing
complexity, constant change and
escalating costs
Benefits:
Wasted profit = Increase profit
Missed SLAs = Redirect SLAs
Dissatisfied = Satisfied customers
Features:
Flexibility to align computing capacity
to fluctuating business needs
25
NEW ACTION CAPTION
Our old caption: Aligning IT Cost with Business Value
Acme solutions provide companies like [CustomerName]
the flexibility to manage constant change, align IT costs with
business value, redirected SLAs and increase profit
26
EXAMPLE 2
ACME Broad Product Portfolio
The quality and diversity of ACME’s broad product portfolio assures enduring dependability, choice,
and investment protection for [CustomerName]. The ACME product portfolio ranges from industrystandard notebook and desktop computers to powerful data center and enterprise server platforms.
Scalable, efficient and highly available ACME computing environments can help [CustomerName]
achieve its vision of an agile enterprise that provides the headroom to handle demand spikes, the
security to increase customer touch, the flexibility to add instant capacity and the tools to manage
growth. ACME award-winning products are designed to high standards of quality and engineered for
reliability and performance.
ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
27
ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME Broad Product Portfolio
The quality and diversity of ACME’s broad product portfolio assures enduring
dependability, choice, and investment protection for [CustomerName]. The ACME
product portfolio ranges from industry-standard notebook and desktop computers to
powerful data center and enterprise server platforms. Scalable, efficient and highly
available ACME computing environments can help [CustomerName] achieve its vision
of an agile enterprise that provides the headroom to handle demand spikes, the
security to increase customer touch, the flexibility to add instant capacity and the
tools to manage growth. ACME award-winning products are designed to high
standards of quality and engineered for reliability and performance.
ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
Who/What:
Benefits:
Features:
28
CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Who/What:
ACME’s broad product portfolio
Benefits:
Assures enduring dependability,
choice, and investment protection
Features:
Scalable, efficient, highly available
Achieve its vision of an agile enterprise
Handle demand spikes
Security to increase customer touch
Flexibility to add instant capacity
Tools to manage growth
29
NEW ACTION CAPTION
Our old caption: ACME – Total Solutions for Your Business
Scalable ACME products provide [CustomerName] with
dependability, flexibility, choice and investment protection
30
GRAB YOUR INDEX CARDS
31
QUIZ 1
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they can trust to provide
recommendations and strategies which are most cost-effective for them without bias. ACME
is a global provider of high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions
including mission critical data center services that optimize your return on investment; and
comprehensive services for all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in
quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation, ACME has
long been one of the world’s most admired companies. That is why many companies in
industries requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have
turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Business Continuity Methodology Life Cycle
ACME Business
Continuity
Program
Management
32
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of
high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end
solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize
your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects
of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and
support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation,
ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies.
That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability,
Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to
ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a costeffective manner.
33
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of
high performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end
solutions including mission critical data center services that optimize
your return on investment; and comprehensive services for all aspects
of your business. All are recognized for excellence in quality and
support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology innovation,
ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired companies.
That is why many companies in industries requiring high availability,
Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have turned to
ACME to help them achieve their business requirements in a costeffective manner.
Who/W
hat:
34
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high
performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end
solutions including mission critical data center services that
optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for
all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in
quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in
technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s
most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries
requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and
Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business
requirements in a cost-effective manner.
35
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high
performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end
solutions including mission critical data center services that
optimize your return on investment; and comprehensive services for
all aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in
quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in
technology innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s
most admired companies. That is why many companies in industries
requiring high availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and
Healthcare, have turned to ACME to help them achieve their business
requirements in a cost-effective manner.
Features:
36
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high
performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions
including mission critical data center services that optimize your
return on investment; and comprehensive services for all
aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in
quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology
innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired
companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high
availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have
turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements
in a cost-effective manner.
37
QUIZ 1: ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
In today’s complex world, companies look to a business partner they
can trust to provide recommendations and strategies which are most
cost-effective for them without bias. ACME is a global provider of high
performance computing platforms; advanced end-to-end solutions
including mission critical data center services that optimize your
return on investment; and comprehensive services for all
aspects of your business. All are recognized for excellence in
quality and support. Widely respected for its leadership in technology
innovation, ACME has long been one of the world’s most admired
companies. That is why many companies in industries requiring high
availability, Finance, Retail POS, Government and Healthcare, have
turned to ACME to help them achieve their business requirements
in a cost-effective manner.
Benefits:
38
Quiz 1: CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Who/What: ACME is a global provider
Features:
High performance computing platforms
Advanced end-to-end solutions
including mission critical data center services
Recognized for excellence in quality and support
Widely respected for its leadership in
technology innovation
Benefits:
Optimizes your return on investment (ROI)
and achieves their business requirements
in a cost-effective manner
39
NEW ACTION CAPTION
Our old caption:
Aligning Business Continuity Methodology Lifestyle
ACME is a global provider recognized for excellence in quality and
support of high performance computing platforms that optimizes
[CustomerName]’s ROI and to help you achieve your business
requirements in a cost-effective manner
ACME Business
Continuity
Program
Management
40
QUIZ 2:
ACME Integrated Support Offering
ACME offers integrated support services to consolidate support contracts from
different vendors and thereby provides total support management for an entire
multi-vendor, multi-technology open environment. As a result, IT is better able to
focus on the business, while still maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor support management is reduced.
Support Partnership for Today’s Open Environment
41
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
42
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
Benefits:
43
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
44
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
Who/What:
45
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
46
QUIZ 2 - ANALYZE SURROUNDING TEXT
ACME offers integrated support services to
consolidate support contracts from different
vendors and thereby provides total support
management for an entire multi-vendor, multitechnology open environment. As a result, IT is
better able to focus on the business, while still
maintaining great control and flexibility. Service
quality is improved. The cost of multi-vendor
support management is reduced.
Features:
47
QUIZ 2 - CREATE A RESULTS TABLE
Who/What:
ACME integrated support services
Feature:
Consolidate support contracts
Total support for entire multi-vendor
multi-technology open environments
Great control and flexibility
Benefit:
Service quality is improved
Cost of multi-vendor support management
is reduced
48
Which Action Caption Would You Choose
Option 1
ACME offers support partnership for [CustomerName]. Service
quality is improved and the cost of support management is reduced.
Option 2
ACME’s integrated support offers consolidated management for
today’s multi-vendor and multi-technology open environments.
[CustomerName’s] service quality is improved and cost for
support environments are reduced.
Option 3
ACME’s integrated support partnership for managing multi-vendor,
multi-technology environments reduces costs and improves quality.
OLD CAPTION
Support Partnership for Today’s Open Environment
49
OPTION 2
ACME’s integrated support offers consolidated management for
today’s multi-vendor and multi-technology open environments.
[CustomerName’s] service quality is improved and costs for
support environments are reduced.
Option 1
ACME offers support partnership for [CustomerName]. Service
quality is improved and the cost of support management is reduced.
Option 3
ACME’s integrated support partnership for managing multi-vendor,
multi-technology environments reduces costs and improves quality.
50
Who/What:
Features:
Benefits:
51
YOUR FINAL QUIZ
1. Review text, graphic,
and old caption
2. Analyze text/write down
what you think are the
• Who/What
• Benefits
• Features
3. Review your results table
4. Create your new Action Caption
5. Share a few Action Captions
52
The ACME Server Family Overview
ACME offers the broadest server portfolio in the industry. From its best-selling ProLiant
servers and ACME BladeSystem to its large-scale Integrity Superdome enterprise platform
and fault tolerant Integrity NonStop systems, ACME has the right server to fit
[CustomerName]’s requirements. Each of these server platforms delivers the stability,
efficiency and agility necessary to handle the multitude of computing demands in today’s
complex IT and data center environments.
Key competitive differentiators of the ACME server family include the following:
• Standards-based systems and services simplify IT environments and give greater
control over costs
• Simplified, integrated management solutions spanning heterogeneous IT
infrastructures
• Virtualization solutions that support automated pooling and sharing of IT resources to
optimize utilization, with options for utility pricing that align payments
with actual usage
• Real time solutions that provide a single, up-to-the-second view of information
• Innovative power and cooling solutions help cut energy costs
ACME server families include: ProLiant, BladeSystem, Integrity, and Integrity NonStop
servers. While there is some commonality in terms of industries served, each family of
ACME servers has a distinct value proposition and differentiating attributes.
53
OLD CAPTION – ACME SERVER
PORTFOLIO
Who/What: ACME, server portfolio, ProLiant, BladeSystem,
Integrity, Integrity NonStop servers
Features:
Standard-based systems and services
Simplified solutions span heterogeneous IT Infrastructures
Virtualization solutions
Real time solutions
Innovative power and cooling solutions
Benefits:
Delivers stability, efficiency and agility
Greater control over costs
Spans heterogeneous infrastructures
Optimizes utilization… offers utility pricing options
Provide up-to-the second view of information
Cut energy costs
54
NEW ACTION CAPTION
ACME’s simplified real-time server solutions
deliver stability, efficiency and agility while
allowing [CustomerName] greater control and
the ability to cut costs.
ACME’s simplified real-time server solutions
deliver stability, efficiency and agility while
allowing [CustomerName] greater control and
the ability to cut costs.
Old caption: ACME Server Portfolio
55
SUMMARY
56
MAKING YOUR PROPOSAL GRAPHICS A
HIT WITH ACTION CAPTIONS SUMMARY
Does your new Action Caption:
– Interpret, inform, or persuade
– Grab the reader’s attention and deliver the
message
10 seconds
– in
Deliver
a concise message in short sentences
– Communicate a benefit, feature, or both
– Focus on your customer
You definitely have a DYNAMIC Action Caption!!!
57
QUESTIONS
58
Thank you!!!
Sandy Luttrell
Hewlett-Packard Company
Sandy.luttrell@hp.com
59