Parents: Partners in Enhancing Resiliency
OverseersParent
BoardGuidance
MeetingTool
A Free Web-based
December Paula
7, 2010
K. Rauch M.D.
www.stayingstrong.org
Home Base Program, Dir. Family Program
Massachusetts General Hospital
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Based on the PACT Model
Family
Community
Developmental
Stage
Challenge
Temperament
Resiliency Models
• Recognize the protective factors
• Amplify and expand factors that can be
changed
• Provide practical information to caregivers
• Improve the experience for every child
• The responsibility for resilience resides in
the family and community, not in the child
Triad of Protective Factors
• Positive temperament (sociable, flexible,
related)
• Family warmth and primary
caregiver attunement
• Social support surrounding the child and
family
– Microanalysis of stress affected vs stress resilient children (Kilmer et al,
2001)
StayingStrong.org
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Video based parent guidance tool
Builds on parenting skills
Over 2 hours of short videos
Video content
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Visitor’s Guide
3 Parenting principles videos
4 child development videos
8 military family stories
• Narration
• Animation
• Specific parent guidance feedback
Parent Coach
• Staying Strong is designed to be watched
alone or with a partner, friend or counselor
• Caring connection increases learning
capacity, especially when emotions are
high
• Ex. Bucket of ice story
Parent Guidance
• Two heads are better than one
• Two heads plus two hearts are much
better than two heads alone
• Guidance (education) in the context of a
relationship is much more effective
• Ultimately caring action is essential
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Development is like a long hike up a series of hills
Every child has a backpack to carry
Adjustment
Worries
Mood
Physical Health
Family
Anxiety
Learning
Challenges
Friends
Attention
Parents Can Lightening the Load
• Parents know their
children
• Parents love their
children
• Parents are trusted by
their children
• Parents travel with
their children
PACT Principles
• Parents are the experts on their own
children
• Parents want and need the tools to parent
at challenging times
• Children want their parents to be the
guides
• Practical guidance is essential
Confusion is the enemy of coping
Parent Coaching
• Rangers on the developmental trail
– Teachers
– Coaches
– Extended family
– Counselors
– YOU
“First responders” are trained to notice when
a child is slipping or falling on the climb
Special Strengths
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Self reliance
Strong family values
Computer/internet access
Caring communities of support
Wish to serve others
www.StayingStrong.org
Landing Page
• Brief welcome video
• Link to “thank you’s”
• Click ID box (parent, student, professional)
• New user or return visitor
• Will ask for email (voluntary)
– #1 reason is to help us get feedback
– Also can opt to get the Home Base Program
newsletter
Staying Strong
.StayingStrong.org
• Parent directed learning
• Starts with the Visitor’s Guide
• Choose from:
– 3 Parenting Principles Videos
– 4 Stage of Development Videos
– 8 Family Stories with Guidance
– Home Base Community Center
Watch or visit in any order
Parenting Principles
• The Developmental Climb Video (PACT)
• Explains that each child is climbing with
individual challenges plus the regular
challenges at that age (backpack)
• Targets the role of loving parents in
supporting a child’s resilience
• Touches on the importance of finding ways
to relax and de-stress
Parenting Principles
• Talking with Your Child or Teen (video)
• Explains why communicating is key to
enhancing resiliency
• Listening>Talking
• Being mindful of words and “music”
• Skill based
Parenting Principles
• Facing Challenges Together (video)
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Challenge: Difficult situation without a quick fix
– Faced with the support of connected caring others
– Builds important life skills
– Results in greater self confidence and courage
• Traumas: Difficult situation without a quick fix
– Surprise or out of control feeling
– Faced feeling alone, isolated and helpless
– Results in greater fear and insecurity
Underscores the risks of unidentified small “t” traumas
Stage of Development
Stages
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Preschool
Elementary
Middle School
High School
• Each video has a parent worksheet
– Reviews key points
– “Stop and Reflect”: Asks parents to identify
behaviors and ideas for new approaches
8 Military Family Stories
• 10 minute videos
• Narrator describes the family
• Animation of a parent talking about their
child with viewer seeing mostly the child
• Feedback targeted to the parent’s concern
– Addresses child’s temperament
– Offers targeted parenting strategies
– Suggests ways to connect with the school
8 Military Families: Diverse
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Deployment status
Family constellation
Ethnicity
Branch of service
• Different temperaments
• Different challenges
Preschool Families
• Shy Allie
– Only child
– Mother is back from deployment
– Allie has increased separation anxiety
• Active Doug
– New baby brother
– Father back from deployment
– Doug is more aggressive at preschool
Elementary Families
• Prickly Heidi
– Youngest of three
– Father will be deploying soon
– Mother is worried about parenting her
temperamentally challenging child solo
• Sensitive Matt
– Younger brother (father has a teenage son)
– Father will be deploying soon
– Mother is worried about his anxiety
Middle School Families
• Reserved Bettina
– Only child, parents divorced
– Her father is deployed
– Her mother is worried that she doesn’t talk
and that she won’t know if there are problems
• Carefree Pete
– Second of four children
– His father is deployed
– His mother is worried about his lower grades
High School Families
• Social Whitney
– Younger sister, older brother married
– Her father has returned with PTS
– Her mother is worried about father and
daughter not re-connecting
• Alienated Terry
– Younger brother, mother and step father
– His older brother has recently deployed
– His mother is worried about how isolated and
misunderstood he feels at school
When to Worry
• Each family story highlights some warning
signs to encourage professional help
• Parents are always encouraged to trust
their own judgment and NOT to worry
alone
• This website does not offer medical
advice, diagnosis or treatment and should
never replace professional assessment
and care
Home Base Community Center
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Video connected activities and worksheets
Family Activities
Parenting information
School connected materials
Other resources and more
• Monthly Family Feature
• Community Conversation Forum
Evaluation is Important
• Who is entering and why
• Immediate feedback on each video
– 4 star rating: unhelpful<****> very helpful
– Would you recommend this to a friend
• End of visit feedback: Overall experience
• Email in 1-3 months: Lessons used/useful
Doing our best, until our best gets better
Some Special Challenges
• Community dispersion of the National
Guard and Reserves
• Siblings of service members
• Limited access to resources in some
locations
• Broader definition of family than the health
insurance definition
10 worriers: 1 warrior
Applied Resiliency Support
• Parent Guidance Model
• Easily Adapted to Guiding Teachers,
Coaches, etc. (Adults with continued
connections with the child)
• Partnership (Lived Experience +
Professional Experience)
• Access to targeted support (ex. analgesic
use)
Support the Parents
• Address mental health issues
• Identify the “Go-To” support people
– Emotional Support
– School related concerns
– Financial guidance
– Health concerns
– Child care support
Staying Strong 4 Educators
• Staying Strong: How Schools Build
Resiliency in Military Families
• 25 minute documentary following 2
families during the father’s deployment
and return and their attuned elementary
school community
Head + Heart + Hand
• Quality information
• Enhanced by caring relationship
• Practical recommendations
– Free
– Accessible
– Engaging
www.StayingStrong.org
Thank you
• prauch@partners.org
• Chat forum
• www.homebaseprogram.org