Parenting Work Training
Day One
Objectives for the day
• To introduce everyone
• To outline the structure of the course
• To outline what we hope to achieve
through the course
• To outline where parents sit within the
Youth Justice system, and the various
agencies who work with them
• To get participants to think about the
relationship between parenting and
offending behaviour
Structure of the Course
• 6 sessions of two hours
• If you cant make a particular week, don’t
worry! We can help you to catch up
• We hope that all the sessions will be held
here, but we will let you know if this
changes
What we hope to achieve
• To give staff and
volunteers a better
understanding of
parenting within the
Youth Justice field
• To train volunteers to
support parenting work.
This might involve
mentoring or group
work
What are Parenting Orders?
• Introduced in the 1998 Crime and Disorder Act,
Labour’s flagship justice legislation. ‘Tough on
crime, tough on the causes of crime’
• Intended to recognise the responsibility parents
have for their children
• Courts may issue an order where they feel that
parents have contributed to a young person
committing an offence.
• Over 90% of parents who received an order felt
the process was beneficial
What are Parenting Orders?
• An order contains both compulsory and
voluntary elements
• Compulsory elements generally relate
specifically to offending behaviour
• Voluntary elements generally have more to
do with parenting skills and the dynamics
of the family
The wider framework
• Parenting Orders can now be put in place
through civil proceedings:
• Schools can apply for a Parenting Order if a
young person is excluded twice within a twelve
month period or if they are exhibiting difficult
behaviour and parenting is believed to be
connected to this. The order will generally be
carried out by a senior Education Welfare Officer
• The ASBO team can also apply for a Parenting
Order where a young person is involved in antisocial behaviour
Other agencies
• Family Intervention Programme: Plymouth YOS
can refer on to FIP if we feel that more intensive
work is needed. The FIP can spend up to 17
hours a week with a family. They have a similar
multi-agency approach to the YOS.
• Family Group Conferencing: FGC generally
deals with difficulties identified through social
services. FGC interview everyone involved in a
case. The family then sits down together, and
they are left alone to devise their own solutions
to a problem.
Other agencies
• Plymouth Parent Partnership: managed as
part of Plymouth Psychology Service, they
provide a range of support services for
parents and other agencies. For example
they provide:
• Advice on education provision
• Training for parents and professionals
Other interventions
• Strengthening families: a group based
programme supporting the interaction
between young people and their parents
Exercise One
• What risk and protective factors are linked
to parenting?
Exercise Two
• How do you think parents feel when they
receive a Parenting Order? Could they see
it in a positive light?
Case Study
• Please read through the case study
provided, and answer the questions
attached
Links and further information
• Family group conferencing:
frg.org.uk
• Plymouth Parent Partnership
plymouthparentpartnership.org.uk
• Strengthening Families
strengtheningfamiliesprogram.org
Parenting Training Day Two
02/02/2011
Exercise One - Values
• Please go through the questionnaire that
you’ve been given. It contains some
questions on values that you might hold.
Exercise Two – What is a
family?
• In your group, discuss the family structure
that you’ve been allocated. Think about:
• What defines this type of family?
• How are they seen in society?
• What challenges do they face?
• Are there any positive attributes for this
family type?
Family Structures
• Remember, there is no such thing as a
perfect family.
• Bringing in stereotypes about a certain
family type may lead you to make incorrect
assumptions.
Exercise Three
• Please read the case study provided.
• Think about the interventions that you
would put in place.
• Then think about what our role would be
as parenting workers. How should we
intervene? Are there any issues that we
would need to consider?
Parenting Training Day Three
09/02/11
Good enough parenting
• We cant expect parents to be perfect. But
there are a range of skills, commitments
and approaches that constitute ‘good
enough’ parenting. What do you think
these are?
• Also not good enough parenting
Good enough parents...
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Offer positive role models
Set boundaries and structures
Offer examples for resolving conflict in an amicable way
Provide warmth, concern and support
Seen by their children to be in charge
Consistent
Able to supervise their children adequately
Give reasons for their rules
Help young people to understand their parents
perspective
• Negotiate and discuss rather than laying down the law
• Engage in open communication and involve their
children in decisions
Poor parenting is characterised
by...
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A lack of rule and clear boundaries
Inconsistent discipline and empty threats
Conveying dislike for the child
Ignoring good behaviour but punishing bad
Lack of enjoyable shared experiences
Harsh punishment, which can lead to
aggressive conduct and low self esteem
Remember the Parent
• Parents can suffer from stress too
• It is essential that they are able to meet with
people who can support them, for example
friends or extended family members
• Parents also need time to relax and enjoy
themselves
• Parents cannot exercise complete control over
their child. Young people carry responsibility for
their actions
• Parents should not set unattainable standards or
goals. This will only lead to disappointment and
conflict at a later date
Healthy families
• On the next slide are six signs of a healthy
family. Rank them in order of importance.
Six signs of a healthy family
• Open communication: Making time to chat about each others
interests and what is going on in their lives. This may include some
kind of regular family meeting or discussion time.
• Dealing with problems: Postponing problems until a suitable time.
Using skills to manage the conflict and plan together.
• Being positive: Encouraging teens by how you speak, how you show
affection, and how you trust them gradually with increasing
responsibility.
• Doing things together: Connecting by making time for fun, a game of
cards, sport or exercise together.
• Group Support: Finding support through friendships with other
parents and your own extended family. Ensuring that your teenagers
have contact with other safe adults. Asking for help where
necessary.
• Involvement in the community: Some family involvement in caring
for others, doing some voluntary work, giving time to a community
project or working to improve the community beyond your family.
Why do children misbehave?
• In your groups, think about what issues in
a family might cause a young person to
misbehave.
Some reasons why children
misbehave
• Attention seeking: children will do just about anything to get the
attention they crave from parents.
• Revenge: Trying to get at someone they feel has treated them badly,
a sibling, parent or friend. Children may not understand the reasons
for insisting on a rule of limit – it helps to recognise their feelings of
anger.
• Feeling powerless: if a child feels upset at not having control, they
,ay hit out or get mad, often at siblings or friends.
• Feeling bad: A child of any ageg may be showing they are feeling
sad or anxious by behaving badly. They may need more sympathy
or attention, and punishing them will only make matters worse.
• Stage of development: some children are simply not able to do what
their parents want because of their age or stage of development.
Freudian defence mechanisms
• We all feel anxious about different things
as a result of our different cultural and
family backgrounds, and our gender role
expectations. Despite these differences,
there are some common defence
mechanisms that you will encounter when
working with families.
Some defence mechanisms
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Withdrawal: a very common mechanism, it is the most direct defence
possible. If a situation looks as if it is too much to cope with, get out of it
(headaches, stomach aches etc) or run away from it.
Repression: A basic, primitive defence, keeping a particular memory, feeling
or impulse at the unconscious level. Repressed thought is not lost, and may
find expression in various indirect ways.
Denial: Refusing to admit that a situation exists or that an event happened.
Denying being angry, frightened or feeling a specific way about something
when it is really how you feel.
Reaction Formation: where unwelcome feelings or urges are translated into
opposites i.e hostility is translated into overprotective feelings towards a
parent or child.
Displacement: feelings or impulses against one person may be shifted to
another. For example, anger against one’s partner may translate into anger
against the child.
Rationalisation: Creating acceptable reasons for an action. For example ‘I’m
only doing it for your own good’.
Projection: Our own unacceptable impulses are attributed to others.
Apparently very common, for example other people are bossy, bigoted etc.
Flight into fantasy: Live in a dream world – either in imagination or by
escaping into books/television/cinema.
Regression: reverting to behavioural characteristics of lass mature
developmental stages, for example acting more childlike.
Defence mechanisms
• In pairs, talk about any defence
mechanisms you may use or that you can
identify with.
Parenting Day Four
16/02/2011
Child abuse
• What are the four forms that child abuse
can take?
Child Abuse
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Child abuse can be separated into four
different areas
Neglect
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Some statistics
• 7% of children experienced serious physical abuse
at the hands of their parents or carers during
childhood.
• 6% of children experienced frequent and severe
emotional maltreatment during childhood.
• Every full double-decker school bus at the end of the
day is likely to be taking home around 7 seriously
unhappy children. Most of the lower deck would at
some time during their childhood have been going
home to serious worries. Approximately 10 children
may be going home to a 'double-shift' of cleaning,
laundry, shopping and preparing meals, and 2 or 3
will be in fear of violence between their parents while
they were out, or of what might happen that evening
Some statistics
In 2005/06 the police in England and Wales recorded:
• 436 offences of unlawful sexual intercourse with a girl under 16
• 4,541 offences of rape of a female child under 16
• 655 offences of rape of a male child under 16
• 6,587 offences of sexual assault on a female child under 16
• 2,821 offences of sexual assault on a male child under 16
• 3,281 offences of sexual activity involving a child under 16
• 127 offences of gross indecency with a child
• 125 offences of abuse of children through prostitution and
pornography
Exercise One
• Split into four groups. Each group will be
given a different form of abuse. In your
groups, think about what signs may be
associated with the form of abuse that
you’ve been given.
Sexual Abuse
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Being overly affectionate or knowledgeable in a sexual way inappropriate to
the child's age
Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal
diseases
Other extreme reactions, such as depression, self-mutilation, suicide
attempts, running away, overdoses, anorexia
Personality changes such as becoming insecure or clinging
Regressing to younger behaviour patterns such as thumb sucking or
bringing out discarded cuddly toys
Sudden loss of appetite or compulsive eating
Being isolated or withdrawn
Inability to concentrate
Lack of trust or fear of someone they know well, such as not wanting to be
alone with a babysitter or child minder
Starting to wet again, day or night/nightmares
Become worried about clothing being removed
Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures
Trying to be 'ultra-good' or perfect; overreacting to criticism
Physical Abuse
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Unexplained recurrent injuries or burns
Improbable excuses or refusal to explain injuries
Wearing clothes to cover injuries, even in hot weather
Refusal to undress for gym
Bald patches
Chronic running away
Fear of medical help or examination
Self-destructive tendencies
Aggression towards others
Fear of physical contact - shrinking back if touched
Admitting that they are punished, but the punishment is excessive
(such as a child being beaten every night to 'make him study')
• Fear of suspected abuser being contacted
Emotional Abuse
• Physical, mental and emotional development
lags
• Sudden speech disorders
• Continual self-depreciation ('I'm stupid, ugly,
worthless, etc')
• Overreaction to mistakes
• Extreme fear of any new situation
• Inappropriate response to pain ('I deserve this')
• Neurotic behaviour (rocking, hair twisting, selfmutilation)
• Extremes of passivity or aggression
Neglect
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Constant hunger
Poor personal hygiene
Constant tiredness
Poor state of clothing
Emaciation
Untreated medical problems
No social relationships
Compulsive scavenging
Destructive tendencies
Abuse
• Be careful; even if a child is showing signs
that suggest that they have been abused,
it does not necessarily mean that they
have been.
• Abuse may overlap, so a young person
may be suffering from sexual and
emotional abuse, for example.
If a young person does want to
confide in you...
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Stay calm and be reassuring
Find a quiet place to talk
Believe in what you are being told
Listen, but do no press for information
Say that you are glad that the child told you
Be supportive
If necessary, seek medical help and contact the YOS at the soonest
possible opportunity
• If your child has told another adult, such as a teacher or school
nurse, contact them. Their advice may make it easier to help your
child
• Determine if this incident may affect how your child reacts at school.
It may be advisable to liaise with you child's teacher, school nurse or
head teacher
• Acknowledge that your child may have angry, sad or even guilty
feelings about what happened, but stress that the abuse was not the
child's fault. Acknowledge that you will probably need help dealing
with your own feelings
Day Five
• Guest speakers. Harbour and
accommodation.
• Day 6 parenting wisely