Preschool Sex
Education
Helping Parents Educate Their
Little Ones
Normal Sexual Development
of a Preschooler
• Masturbation
• Interest in the physical
characteristics of the opposite sex
• Undressing with another preschooler
and playing doctor
• Wondering where babies come from
Parent’s Role
• Parents should be the primary sexual
educators of children
• Children often want guidance and advice
from their parents about sex.
• Children learn about sexuality from their
parents, whether their parents discuss sex
with them nor not. ( watching you interact,
listening to you, observing how you react
to sexual behavior and messages)
Talking to Your Child
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Talking to your child about sex is an
ongoing process that begins very
young
Not a single lecture ( and always a
two-way conversation)
Children need clear, honest and
brief answers to their questions
• Use age appropriate
language
• The hormonal surges
of puberty are still a
few years away! So
take advantage of
teaching them early.
• Don’t think that telling a child about
sex makes them sexually precocious.
On the contrary, research indicates
that children who have clear
understanding of sexual issues are
more likely to behave responsibly
(e.g. waiting until older to have sex or
choosing to use contraceptives)
• If you are put on the spot with a certain question
and don’t have a ready reply. A phrase such as
“What a good question. Let’s talk about that
later.” This gives you time to think about what you
are going to say, but make sure you keep your
word and talk about the issue.
• Educate yourself about sex education ( the more
you know about various sex topics the more
comfortable you will be answering their children’s
questions).
Preparing Yourself
• Decided on a consistent approach with other
adults involved in the child’s parenting
• Keep in mind that you child will pick up on your
attitudes by your behaviors.
• If you can’t think of what to say, or are unsure on
how much info to tell your child, read up on the
topic. (Refer to age appropriate sex education
materials, such as books, to help you phase your
answers)
The Media
• Obviously, the media presents
inappropriate messages for children, but
you can use educational age-appropriate
books, movies and television shows as
supplements for discussions about sex.
• There are many good books and videos
available about sex which are designed for
children of different ages.
• Provide opportunities for q & a afterwards
Wee wee? Cha cha?
• It is important to teach your child the
anatomically correct names of the genitals ( penis,
vagina, vulva)
• You can start with diaper changing time to point
out and name the genitals and other body parts
• When parents use incorrect names for sexual
body parts, the message is that they are somehow
different or that there is something wrong or
unmentionable about them. Child may be
embarrassed or ashamed of genitals.
Masturbation
• Reassure yourself that masturbation is not
a sign of sexual deviancy.
• Focus on the setting, rather than the
activity. ( should be done in a private
place)
• Instead of punishing and shaming children
for this normal behavior, parents should
treat it matter of factly.
Playing Doctor
• Child may be curious about gender differences.
• Don’t be angry or react in a horrified way. Calm
yourself and distract the children with another
activity.
• Use this opportunity to discuss gender with your
child. Talk about how the bodies of girls are
different.
• Tell them that touching another’s genitals and
vice versa should be avoided because genitals are
private.
Where do Babies Come
From?
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•
•
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Be calm, honest, and factual.
Avoid fanciful explanations (storks, cabbage patches)
Keep answers simple.
Explain the details slowly and in small chunks, as time goes
on. For example, you may follow up by saying: “When the
baby is big enough, it comes out through a passage in
mommy’s body called the vagina.”
• Your own pregnancy, a friend, or even a pet are
opportunities that can help clarify the process to your child.
“How does the baby get
here in the first place?”
• Keep your explanations simple but factual
about sexual intercourse.
• Use picture books to help explain human
anatomy.
• Read age-appropriate books on the sex
together with your child.
• Questions your child about sex, because
their answers will let you know whether
they understand or not.
What if they know too
much?
• It is a myth that knowledge about
sex is harmful.
• Research shows that well-informed
young people are more likely to delay
sexual experiences and then practice
more responsible behaviors if they do
have sex.
• If you act embarrassed or unwilling
to talk about topics, children may
believe that their bodies and their
sexuality are things to be ashamed
of.
• Children can only absorb so much
information.
My Child Isn’t
Interested!
• Don’t leave it. If your child hasn’t any
interest or curiosity, bring up the
topic yourself.
• Look for everyday opportunities to
get the conversation started.
(pregnancy of someone)
Child Abuse
• Some surveys say that at least 1 out
of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men recall
sexual abuse
• Boys and girls are most often abused
by adults or older children whom
they know and who can control them
Counseling the CSA
Victim
• Provides a safe place and safe relationship
• Opportunity to help child develop a trusting
relationship with an adult
• Counselor does more than talk and listen,
structured or unstructured play, dolls, artwork,
music, or clay can provide a safe way for children
to release tension and express themselves
• Abused children also do well in groups ( helps
reduces feelings of shame and differentness and
helping them learn how to protect themselves)
Good Touch and Bad
Touch
• Do you know what a bad touch is?
• It is a bad touch if it hurts you. Ouch!
• It is a bad touch if someone touches you on your body
where you don’t want to be touched.
• It is a bad touch if a person touches you in a way that
makes you uncomfortable.
• It is a bad touch if that touch makes you feel scared and
nervous.
• It is a bad touch if a person forces you to touch him or her.
• It is a bad touch if a person asks you not to tell anyone.
• It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt you if you
tell.
What to tell your child if
someone gives them a bad
or secret Touch?
• First of all, don’t be afraid.
• Say “NO!” Tell the person that you don’t like it and you don’t
want to be touched.
• Get away fast! Run away from the person whose touch you
don’t like. Never stay alone with that person ever again.
• Ask for help. You can scream.
• Go and tell someone you trust what has happened even if
the person who touched you in a bad or secret way told you
not to tell anyone. Tell your mom, dad, a friend, teacher, or
a doctor. If someone doesn’t seem to believe you, go and tell
someone else until you
• Believe in yourself. You did nothing wrong.
What are the program
goals?
1. To give children language and information about abuse that is
positive, non-threatening, and practical.
2. To teach the children their body is their own.
3. To teach the children how to say "NO" to abuse
4. To help children identify those people who can help if there is
problem with abuse/sexual abuse, bullying, or other situations
that make them fell uncomfortable or give the "uh- oh"
feeling"
5. To teach children about the "Uh-oh feeling" and to teach them
to ask
questions, when confused or uncomfortable, of someone they
feel safe with.
6. To affirm the fact that sexual abuse is NEVER the child's
fault
7. To empower the children by teaching they are special and have
the right to learn ALL the rules of safety.
8. To teach children it is NEVER OK for one child to hurt another
child
Why Is It Important to
Start Education Early?
• Children who have a clear understanding of sexual
issues are more likely to behave responsibly.
• Your child will feel comfortable talking to you
about sexual issues because there ‘s an
atmosphere of comfort and trust
• If children sense that their parents are
uncomfortable with the topic of sex, they will be
less likely to come to their parents with problems
and questions later on.
• Talking to your preschooler about sex
paves the way for open
communication about sexual issues as
they get older
• Help prevent sexual abuse or
prolonged abuse
• Talking about sex and
sexuality gives you a
chance to share your
values and beliefs with
your child.
Junior High and High School Sex
Education
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Sex Education for this age group will be
primarily about choices.
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Especially if a parent has followed suggestions
that we have outlined previously in our
presentation.
Junior High and High School Sex
Education
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If parents form an open and honest
relationship with their children about sex
from the beginning as explained during
the earlier parts of our presentation,
discussion about choices will be much
easier.
Knowledge is not power…Strengthening
decisions making and social skills are
successful.
Junior High and High School Sex
Education
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While teenagers say most of their sex
education comes from school, they report
that they would prefer to hear it from their
parents.
There is no evidence that says too much
too soon is a bad thing.
Type of Sex Education Debate
Myths
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Teaching Teens about contraception
encourage them to have sex.
Parents want abstinence-only programs.
Teaching about abstinence and
contraception sends a mixed message.
Important Tips
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Be clear about your values
Talk about facts vs. beliefs
Practice what you preach
….But don’t preach
Encourage a sense of pride
Keep the conversation going (begin with
adolescence as discussed earlier)
Topics for discussion
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STDs
Birth Control
Abuse/Rape
Myths (all of the above)
STDs
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It is important to discuss many aspects of
STDs
Teenagers first must really understand
what STDs are and what they can do to
people.
Be sure to inform teens the prevalence of
STDs and what constitutes the risk
involved in activities.
Birth Control
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Absolutely necessary to explain that
condoms are the ONLY form of birth
control that also protect against STDs
Birth Control can be a very important topic
depending on religious beliefs. Refer to
the important tips about beliefs.
Rape/Abuse
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Social confidence is important. A teenager
must be comfortable saying “no”.
A strong relationship previously will allow
for better communication in the event of
rape/abuse.
It is NEVER the victims fault.
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Alcohol/Drugs and consent.
Myths
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He didn’t have an orgasm, so I can’t be
pregnant.
I can’t get pregnant if it’s my first time
having sex.
I’m having my period, I can’t get pregnant
I can’t get pregnant if I douche after sex.
I can’t get an STD if I have oral sex.
Brushing your teeth after oral sex can
decrease the risk of STDs.