Conflict Management
Strategies for your Toolkit
Dr. Buddy Coleman
UNC Wilmington
Strategies for Your Toolkit
• Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking
• Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict
• Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict
Sequential Process
Strategy 1
Strategy 2
Strategy 3
Strategy 1 – Most Important One
Avoid becoming emotionally high jacked
• Do not emotionally high jack ourselves
• Do not allow others to high jack us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGBTkREbXfY
Avoid High Jacking Ourselves
• Psychodynamic Leadership Theory
– Hardwired neurological pathways; aggression
and emotional states are driven by the medulla
oblongata in our brains
– Behavioral patterns
– Personality development
• Preferences & Orientations
– Comfort Zone: what we like rather than dislike
– Needs based: satisfying our needs
– Resist modifying our behaviors
– Doing what we “want to do”
– Instead of what we “should do”
Do Not Allow Others to High Jack Us
• People who are in control of their emotions are in
control
• Resist giving in to physiological and psychological
comfort zone responses
• Do not take the “bait” when people and/or
situations set off our emotional triggers
• Emotional triggers are usually developed from
childhood and are our “hot buttons” that can cause
us to lose control and overreact
Effective Charter Leaders
• Operationally defined as individuals who live,
work and perform at their very best
• They accomplish this by being keenly aware
of their strengths and weaknesses
• Most importantly, they modify their thinking,
behaviors and decisions to think, analyze,
listen and “take the high ground” rather than
undermining themselves emotionally
Emotional Intelligence
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Understanding ourselves personally
Understanding our strengths and weaknesses
Maintaining an effective leadership orientation
We are no longer leaders once we become
emotionally high jacked
• Effectiveness of our actions and decisions are
determined by the reactions
Emotional Triggers
• Defined as behaviors and situations that may cause
us to respond more emotionally than rationally
• Usually related to childhood events, parental
relationships and/or deep feelings about loved ones
• The emotional triggers stimulate the medulla
oblongata in our brains and result in a “flight” or
“fight” response
• Example of an emotional trigger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZpDnXYIFjo
Emotional Triggers
• What kind of things do people do that you
dislike?
• What are your feelings towards people when
they do things that you dislike?
• What are some of your emotional triggers?
Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict
• First we must implement Strategy 1 by always
taking the high ground and avoiding being
emotionally high jacked by ourselves or others
• Second, we must establish agreements based on
purpose, mission and goals relative to behaviors
and interactions for all charter school stakeholders
• Principal/Director, Board Members, Teachers,
Parents, Students and Staff
• Staff development for Principal and Board Members
is critical and should include personality inventories
to promote understanding among charter school
leaders
Preventing Conflict
• Establish behavioral agreements for discussions,
interactions and decision making
• These must be in alignment with charter school
mission, purpose and goals
• Behavioral agreements must also be congruent with
the roles of principal, board members, teachers and
parents.
• Charter school leaders must focus on managing the
interpersonal dynamics of all charter school
stakeholders
Preventing Conflict
• Establish and commit to agreements
• Written guidelines for interaction
• Types of agreements include:
– Communication
– Behaviors
– Assumptions
– Trust
– Feedback
Example of Behavioral Agreements
“We agree to…
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Open, honest, & regular communication
No silent disagreements
Collaborate with each other…focus on win-win
Anticipate opportunities and issues
Assume positive Intent
Respect each other
Maintain confidentiality
Keep our promises
Provide immediate feedback to anyone who violates an
agreement
• Support each other to ensure a successful charter
school
Preventing Conflict
• It our responsibility, as charter school leaders, to
resolve interpersonal conflicts ASAP in meaningful
ways relative to maintaining healthy relationships to
work together to stay on point
• Leaders must be able to understand and be able to
deal with feelings, disagreements and issues
• This is our responsibility
Preventing Conflict
• To be successful, charter school leaders must establish
high quality, trusting personal relationships with their
teachers, parents and board members
• This is accomplished by:
– Building relationships based on openness, expertise
and a willingness to listen to the views, opinions, and
priorities of your stakeholders
– Maintaining an even-handed and controlled approach in
all interactions.
– Guiding stakeholders via personal interactions rather
than positional authority and allowing time for them to
process issues and decisions.
Preventing Conflict
• Board Members’ Roles
– Preparation: Does the board have a clear sense of how it will
conduct oversight of the academic program and fiscal health
of the organization?
• Board Members’ Abilities
– Capacity and Composition: Does the board the have the
skills and expertise to govern?
• Board Members/Principal Governance
– Structure: Is the proposed governance structure in line with
best practice?
– Clarity: Is there clear delineation of the authority and duties
of the board, school leader, parents, teachers, and
contractor, such as an education service provider (ESP) or a
charter management organization (CMO)?
Preventing Conflict
• Charter school leader’s ability to maintain a
professional, controlled orientation
• Effectively use communication and listening
skills to promote positive and constructive
interactions
• Establish formal structures and operationally
define roles that are clearly understood
Strategy 3: Resolving Conflict
• First, Strategies 1 and 2 must be implemented
• Next, if conflict occurs…or rather when conflict
occurs, then we, as leaders, must take appropriate
action to resolve the conflict in meaningful and
positive ways
• We begin by making sure that we understand
conflict
Resolving Conflict
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Is conflict good?
Is conflict bad?
Neither
How we understand & respond to conflict is the key
Resolving Conflict
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Avoid blame game
Avoid getting emotional
Do not take it personally
Effective listening, understanding and
communication skills
• Make it clear you are there to help
Resolving Conflict
• Operationally defining conflict as a state of
unresolved differences:
– Within an individual
– Between individuals
– An individual and a group
– Or two or more groups
• Based on caring about something
– Difficulty getting or giving something
– Between two or more people, locked in an
interdependent relationship
– What one party does affects the other party
Simplest Way to Resolve Conflict
• Eliminate the relationship
– Leave the interdependent relationship
– Refuse to interact with the other person(s)
• In many situations this is not practical
• As charter school leaders, this is not usually
possible
• Therefore, we must learn how to address and deal
with conflict
Types & Sources of Organizational Conflicts
• Interpersonal
– Exists when people interact in ways to try and achieve goals and
objectives
– They have different attitudes, personalities, values, backgrounds
and experiences
• Competition for and/or management of resources
– Limited resources
– Resource decision making
• Standardized Operating Procedures (SOPs)
– Controls to manage behavior
– Resistance to rules
• Line-Staff Relationships
– Authority issues
– Resistance to control
• Different Understandings of Goals
Five Ways to Deal With Conflict
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5.
Denial/Avoid/Withdraw
Positional Power
Accommodation
Compromise
Collaborating
Denial/Avoid/Withdraw
Issues are not addressed
• Use if – The issues or timing is not critical; a cooling
off period is required for both parties; and more
information is needed is needed to resolve conflict
• Do not use if –The situation requires immediate
attention or when one party remains frustrated by
the avoidance of the issue
Positional Power
Authoritative
• Use if – Swift action is needed in resolving the
conflict
• Do not use if - Concern for the parties involved is
not clear and the consequences of the action taken
have not been considered
Accommodation
Low on assertiveness, but high on cooperation
• Use if – it will allow for a better position to be
heard; the preservation of the relationship is more
important than the issue; or, the most important
one, you are wrong.
• Do not use if – the issue is significant and must be
resolved sooner than later
Compromise
Moderately cooperative and assertive
• Use if – The issue or goal is of moderate importance
and both parties involved feel a compromise would
help in the resolution.
• Do not use if – Only one party is willing to give up
something. Negotiation is not possible.
Collaborating
Win-Win Approach
• Use if – There are shared values or goals, time is
available and the power among the parties is
balanced; also if there is effective communication
and the concerns are too important to compromise
• Do not use if – There is no balance of power
between the parties, the values and goals are not
shared, or poor communication exists between the
parties
Charter School Conflicts
• Tension among board members
• Power, accountability and control:
– Principal & Board
– Principal, Board & Sponsoring District
– Principal & Teachers
– Principal & Parents
– Teachers & Parents
– Teachers & Students
Conflict Situations Discussion
• What are some conflict situations in your
charter school?
• What do you think is causing these conflict
situations?
Strategies for Your Toolkit
• Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking
• Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict
• Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict
Sequential Process
Strategy 1
Strategy 2
Strategy 3
Questions