High Stakes Dialogue
Learning the Art
of
Crucial Conversations
Rebekah Hackbusch
Doug Longstaffe
Martin Rovers
Welcome and Introductions
What are we doing here?
Interprofessional
Practice Teams
Crucial
Conversations in
Health Care
Getting Stuck
Cognitive
Distortions
See the Whole
Picture
Video
Getting Stuck
Bias
Awareness
What we say
What we hear
What we see
Case study
Training in Self-Awareness
The art of the
Ministry of
Presence
Martin Buber: founder of
Inter-professional practice?
“I do not accept any absolute formulas for
living. No preconceived code can see
ahead to everything that can happen in a
man’s life. As we live, we grow and our
beliefs change. They must change. So I
think we should live with this constant
discovery. We should be open to this
adventure in heightened awareness of
living. We should stake our whole
existence on our willingness to explore
and experience.”
Buber
I-Thou.
Meeting of Souls
Not found by
seeking but by
GRACE.
We are CALLED to
genuine dialogue
rather than actively
searching for it…
Between stimulus and response
there is a space. In that space is our
power to choose our response. In our
response lies our growth and our
freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
Attentive silence
True Dialogue
is an address of the heart.
Forms of Dialogue
What form do you
invite?
Technical dialogue
Monologue
A distorted
form of dialogue;
words are said
with little or
no connection.
True Dialogue
requires presence
What does Presence require?
Bringing all that you are
to all that is.
Presence
Presence
“Sawu Bona”
Clinical teams
“For the meaning of life differs from
human to human, from day to day
and from hour to hour. What
matters, therefore, is not the
meaning of life in general but rather
the specific meaning of a person’s
life at a given moment.”
Victor Frankl
Spiritual Care: the heart of team
dialogue
Patterns
Being Stuck
Dictating
Talking
Politely
Reflective
Listening
Reflective Listening
Inter-professional Practice
Generative Dialogue
Reaching a deeper region of
consciousness
Presence: Human purpose and the
field of the future.
We’ve come to believe that the core capacity needed for
accessing the field to the future is presence. We first
thought of presence as being fully conscious and aware in
the present moment. Then we began to appreciate
presence as deep listening of being open beyond one’s
preconceptions and historical ways of making sense. We
came to see the importance of letting go of old identities
and the need to control… Ultimately, we came to see all
aspects of presence as leading to a state of “letting come,”
of consciously participating in a larger field of change.
When this happens, the field shifts, and the forces shaping
a situation can shift from re-creating the past to
manifesting or realizing an emerging future. p.125
Peter Senge, Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, Betty Sue
Flowers.
APPLYING OLD SKILLS IN NEW
WAYS
Stage 1
Internal Stories
Told with lightning speed
Interpretation based on assumption
Spoken with emotion or told only to
one’s self with silent disdain
Stage 2
The Pool of Shared Meaning
Pool Dumpers
attacking, labeling, controlling
Pool “Shunners”
avoiding, masking, withdrawing
STAGE 3
Creating Safety
Establish Mutual Purpose through
Starting with heart
Saying what you want
Saying what you don’t want
Stage 3 -Safety - continued
Ask for the others story (again)
Acknowledge their feelings and conclusion
Ask to review their observations ie their
FACTS
Look for agreement or commonality
Stage 4 – Share Your Story
Tell your facts having reviewed them
for accuracy
Tell your story of interpretation with
“feelings” not unrestrained emotion
Talk tentatively but not wimpy
(Goldilocks method)
Seek Common Ground
Agreeing
Repairing
Building
Role Play
5 people
patient care team manager
registered nurse
speech language pathologist
Physician
spiritual care worker
QUESTIONS ???????
Blessings on your crucial
conversations!!!!!!!
References
Crucial Conversations - Kerry Patterson et
al - McGraw-Hill copyright 2002
Crucial Confrontations- Kerry Patterson et
al - McGraw-Hill copyright 2005
Solving Tough Problems: An open way of
talking, listening, and creating new
realities. – Adam Kahane – BerrettKoehler Publishers, Inc. 2004
Martin Buber on education
http://www.infed.org/thinkers/erbuber.htm