“EVERY CHRISTIAN A
SHEPHERD TO EVERYONE”
BASICS OF LAY PASTORAL CARE AND COUNSELING SEMINAR
Rev. Joel S. Aguirre, D.Div.
College of Pastoral Supervision & Psychotherapy
Certified Pastoral Counselor/Clinical Chaplain
Legalities of Counseling in the Philippines


Republic Act 9258- all guidance counselors
and those who are in the field of counseling
in the hospitals, schools and churches should
secure license before practicing.
August 21-22, 2008- first licensure
examination in the Philippines
Limitations of the Seminar



This counseling seminar is intended for
Christian lay people who are interested in the
ministry of caring and life- coaching.
The training learned is intended to be used in
their daily living and ministry.
It is not intended for professional counseling.
The words pastoral care-giver, life coach will
be synonymously used with “counseling.”
“But you are a chosen people, a royal
priesthood, a holy nation, a people
belonging to God, that you may declare
the praises of him who called you out of
darkness into his wonderful light.” I
Peter 2:9
Basis for the Ministry of
Counseling
 From the standpoint
of faith, genuine
caring is grounded in affirming others
as person of sacred worth, loved by
God and destined for a future of God’s
making.

The shaped of our caring is
anticipated in the life and ministry of
Jesus Christ.


“CARING” means serving God’s desire and
design for the other, helping the other to
become the best that he or she is capable of
becoming in God’s sight.
Care is something that is universally human.
Care is mutual; one who gives it also receives
it. Everyone, at some point in time, is both a
giver and a receiver of care.
Care is made up of attitude and
action. Care is seeking the best
interests of another.
Care is pastoral when its power
and focus are seen to beyond self,
beyond human. Care is pastoral
when one enters a helping
encounter that deals with the
persons’ ultimate concern.
Care is pastoral when its
function is to communicate the
power of the divine, which mediates
the courage to accept one’s finitude
and the anxiety which is part of our
creatureliness.
Care is pastoral when it directs
others to the source of life and
power, to that which is infinite and
eternal.
The fundamental role of Pastoral
Care is the attempt to help others,
through words, acts, and relationships,
to experience as fully as possible the
reality of God’s presence and love in
their lives (Definition of Pastoral Care,
Redland Hospital Pastoral Services).
Biblical Approaches to
Counseling
Start
developing a method of counseling or helping
others by focusing upon the nature of God and the
nature of man.
The following are important questions to ask in
checking WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT GOD:
-WHO IS HE?
-WHAT ARE HIS ATTRIBUTES?
-WHAT ARE HIS DESIRES FOR MANKIND?
-the answer to these questions would certainly
influence how we respond to people with whom we
have contact and to whom we have been called upon to
The following questions may straighten out our
views as to WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT MAN:
-WHO IS HE/SHE?
-WHAT ARE HIS POTENTIALS AND DEFECTS?
Answers to this question would certainly
influence how we respond to individuals within
the context of counseling.
“A right conception of God is basic
not only to systematic theology but
to practical Christian living as
well.”(A.W. Tozer)
*LETS TAKE A LOOK AT MAN:
 Man
was created by God and was
created in His own image.
-Because of the fall, a distortion
occurred in the image of God within
man.
YET, man is very, very worthwhile and
worth redeeming.
TWO WAYS WHEREIN
COUNSELORS MAY LOOK AT
MAN:
a. Man is being totally good
with no problems or defects.
b. Man is being totally lost,
totally deficient, with no good
or worth or potential within him
whatsoever.
Consider man’s basic
needs.
Man is worthwhile regardless of
his/her feelings.
Important question asked by
each individual:
WHO AM I?
WHAT AM I?
Consider the ultimate goal of
counseling.
For Christians – CONVERSION
 For Christians – CHRISTLIKENESS
 Understanding of who God is would
help a person affirm and build his or
her SELF CONCEPT, ACCEPTANCE OF
OTHERS AND OF GOD (SELF-CONCEPT,
as a sense of being somebody and a
sense of being worthwhile).

Usage of “COUNSEL” in the
Scripture
*THREE HEBREW WORDS TRANSLATED
“COUNSEL”
1. Yaw-ats’ = to deliberate, resolve, advise
(well), guide, devise, determine, purpose
(Exodus 18:19)
2. Yaw-sad = to sit down together, settle,
consult, found, establish, instruct
3. Ay-tsaw = advise, plan, prudence,

ACTIVITY: Divide the class into five groups.
Each group will be assigned two passages
each. Based on each passage the group will
report on the following: SITUATION OF THE
COUNSEL (one on one, on with a group),
MEANING OF THE COUNSEL, PRACTICAL
APPLICATION OF COUNSEL.
The word “COUNSEL” from the Biblical
Perspective (Mostly in the O.T.)
Numbers 31:16 = Counsel is a “word” (dabar) of
advice.
II Chronicles 25: 16 = “To counsel” (yaats) is to
give advice or direction.
Daniel 4:27 = “Counsel” (melak) is direction
which opposes problems and give specific
procedures for elimination.
Psalm 55:14 = “A sitting, session, assembly
(sod).” Counsel in this sense is sharing among
equals which is sweet but may be betrayed.
Daniel 2:14 = “Counsel”, “advice” (eta) means
discretion.
Deuteronomy 32:28 = “Counsel”, “advice”
(etash) is necessary for understanding and
discernment of the future.
Exodus 18:19 = “To give counsel” (yaats) is
wise advice for action.
1 Kings 12:9= “to be counseled” (yaats) implies
the necessity of seeking counsel at times.
John18:14 = “to counsel together fully” (Gk.
sumbou) is necessary before an action is taken.
Psalm 2:2 = “To have a foundation laid” (yasad)
implies the sense of consultation (which is of
course negative in application in Psalm 2:2 –
counseling together against the Lord).
Five Variations of Biblical
Verbs on Counseling
Parakaleo = “to beseech,” “to exhort,
encourage or comfort” (I Thess. 5:14)
2. Noutheteo = “to put in mind,” “to warn, and
“to confront.”
*One admonishes the unruly, undisciplined, or
the impulsive (Rom. 15:14; Cor. 4:14)
3. Parmutheomai = “to cheer up,” “to
encourage”
*One encourages the fainthearted or
discouraged (I Thess. 2:11)
1.
4.
5.
Antechomai = “to cling to,” to hold fast,” “to
take an interest in,” “to hold up spiritually or
emotionally”
Makromutheo = “to be patient,” or “to have
patience” (Matt. 18:26; matt. 18:29; James
5:7)
*All the biblical verbs above imply that a person
needs integration in his/her counseling
approach.
Jesus’ Style of Helping Others
Before looking at Jesus’ techniques, it is very
important, first of all to understand WHY HE
CAME.

Luke 4:18 ˗ for the sake of the poor, the
captives, the blind, the oppressed – who are
downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken
down by calamity.
John 10:10 – for man to enjoy abundant life
I John 3:8 – to destroy the works of evil
Luke 19:10 – to seek and to save those who are
lost
“Jesus’ ministry was that of helping
people achieve fullness of life,
assisting them to develop an ability
to deal with the problems and
conflicts of life.”
(Norman Wright)
1. Jesus had compassion that prompted Him to
alleviate the suffering of people (Mark 1:41;
8:2; 6:34).
2. Jesus accepted others without restrictions,
hostility, or judgment (john 4; john 8; Luke 19).
3. Jesus gave worth to the individual by giving
His personal attention (Matt. 10:29).
4. Jesus sought to have people accept the
responsibility for their own actions and for what
they wanted (John 5).
5. Jesus gave hope, encouragement and inspiration
(a very positive approach) [Mark 10:26-27; Matthew
11:28-30].
6. Jesus emphasized the peace of mind that people
could have (John 14:27).
7. Jesus helped to reshape or refashion people’s
thinking. Teaching is definite part of counseling
(Luke2:22-25; Matt. 19:4-9; Luke 14:2-6; Luke
6:39; Matt. 7:29; Luke 6:42; Matt. 8:26; Matt.
18:16).
8. Jesus saw needs of individuals and spoke
directly to them regardless of what they might
have brought to His attention. e.g., His
conversion with Nicodemus. (Mark 3:5)
9. Jesus also emphasized right behavior in the
lives of those who ministered (Luke 6:47-49).
10. Jesus dealt with people in different ways
and he related to individuals at different
levels of depth and closeness (Luke 10).
Jesus’ Example for Counselors
1. Model of OBEDIENCE = Jesus as Counselor
and Helper took the whole counsel of God (John
12:49; 17:4).
2. Model of PRAYER = Jesus as Counselor and
Helper took time to pray. (Luke 5:15-16).
3. Model of INVOLVEMENT with Disciples and
Those Who Care = Jesus as counselor did not
only relate to people but also He got involved
with their personal lives (Luke 5- the calling of
the first disciples). He did not confine the
function to Himself, the disciples were with Him
assisting in the helping ministry (Luke 5:17-19;
Phil. 2:1-5)
4. Model of AUTHORITY = He claimed authority
but was not authoritative (Matt. 7:29; 28:18).
5. Model of ANOINTING = He has a special day
of anointing (Luke 3:21-22).
6. Model of FAITH = He has personal faith in
the One who sent Him (John 12:49) and He
honored other people’s faith (Luke 5:20).
1.
1.
The Necessity of Counseling in The
Church
Degeneration of the psychological society =
The situation of the fallen and broken world
is not getting any better. It is a very alarming
situation to think that 95% of hospital beds
may be taken up by mental patients due to
the breakdown of caring and meaningful
relationships especially within the family.
Rapid increase of hurting people in the
congregation = “Life is difficult . . . life is a
series of problems” (Dr. Scott Peck, The Road
Less Traveled).
Reasons Why Christians Do Not Open Up to
Share Their Problems (Tan, Lay Counseling)
a)
a)
a)
No one seems to be able to listen and care.
Their Christian beliefs make them feel guilty,
as if their struggles make them second-class
citizen to the kingdom.
Many of them are afraid to be judge as poor
Christians.
The Necessity of Counseling in The Church
3. Many people are experiencing the “burnout” syndrome =This refers to the situation in
the church wherein very few people are lump
with so many things to do.
1.
a)
a)
Lay Counseling as a Specific
Ministry
The Calling of the
Laity (Siang –Yang Tan, Lay
counseling, 24).
I Pet. 2:5-9 = All Christians belong to the
universal priesthood of believers.
Ephesians 4 = All Christians are called to
minister to each other so that we can all
achieve the ultimate goal of maturity in Christ.
Lay Counseling as a Specific
Ministry
2. Professional counselors cannot meet all
needs. “The more people doing the job, the
more work accomplished” (Cecile J. Casino).
3. Christians have the responsibility to minister
to others. Point them back to the truth of their
calling as ministers of God.
Goals and Aims of Counseling
1.
1.
1.
To understand the counselee’s
current situation.
To understand how he or she has
tried to handle the problem.
To understand his or her view of
problem.
Goals and Aims of Counseling
4. To understand his or her reasons and
motivations for seeking counseling.
5. To understand his or her emotional
reactions.
6. To estimate tentatively the counselee’s
strengths.
Goals and Aims of Counseling
7. To evaluate the total problem.
8. To help him or her to clarify the life situation
and problem.
9. Others, including Christian growth and
presentation of the Gospel (depending on the
situation)
Goals and Aims of Counseling
10. Other goals include are;
 To assist in reducing undue tension
 To assist resolving conflict
 To assist in improving insight and
understanding
 To assist a person in releasing his or her inner
strength
 To improve information
Goals and Aims of Counseling
 To encourage continued growth
 To assist person in making realistic choices
 To improve interpersonal relationships
 To assist individuals mature in their Christian
life
 To seek for others to have a personal encounter
with Christ.
Understanding What Crisis Is
What is a CRISIS?
-It is a state of acute emotional upset
that includes a temporary inability to
cope by means of one’s usual
problem – solving devices.
Understanding What Crisis Is
-It is a special state during an
ongoing state of disequilibrium in a
person or a group which results
when both usual and secondary
coping mechanisms fail to resolve a
problem.
Understanding What Crisis Is
When does a crisis occur?
It occurs when our interpretation of
external events, our coping ability and
the limitation of our social resources
leads to stress so severe that we cannot
find relief.
Understanding What Crisis Is
Note: Crisis is not necessarily inherent in
external situation itself. The crisis itself is the
reaction to the external event.
Addendum: “A crisis for me may not be a crisis
for you”.
Understanding What Crisis Is
What is a crisis intervention?
It is a short-term helping process which focuses
on the resolution of the immediate problems
through the use of personal, social and
environmental resources.
Understanding What Crisis Is
Duration and outcome of crisis
People cannot stay in crisis forever. It last for a
few days or few weeks.
Types of Crisis
a) Situational
b) Transitional
c) Cultural/Social-structural Origins
Functional Steps in Counseling
Illustrated in Bible
1. Build a relationship between the helper and
the helpee (John 6:63; 16:7-13; 1 John 4:6).
2. Explore the problems. Try to clarify the
issues and determine what has been the
problem in the past to tackle the problem
(Rom. 8:26).
3. Decide a course of action. Set alternatives
that could be tried one at a time (John 14:26;
1Chor. 2:13).
Functional Steps in Counseling
Illustrated in Bible
4. Stimulate action. This should be evaluated by
both helper end helpee. When something
doesn’t work, try again (John 16:13; Acts
10:19-20; 16:6).
5. Terminate the counseling relationship and
encourage the helpee to apply what he or she
has learned as he or she launches out on his or
her own (Rom. 8:14).
Techniques to Use as a Lay
Pastoral Care-giver/
Counselor
Listening and communication
skills make-up the major part of
good pastoral care and counseling.
The more you practice, the better
you will get at pastoral care and
counseling.
Open-ended Questions
To keep group conversation moving and probe
deeper into topics and feelings raised by care
group members. A “closed” question can
answered with “yes” or “no” or a simple
statement of fact. An open-ended question
requires other information to be answered.
Example:
Closed: “At what age did you first smoke?”
Open: “what was going on with your life when
you first started smoking?”
Benefits of open-ended
questions:
 Reveal deeper and more personal issues
 Allow for more peer-centered support
 Involve the person to participate in the
care group
 Drawback of open-ended questions
 May take more time to get information
 May open up difficult or challenging
issues that are not easily addressed in
the care group
Active Listening Techniques
-includes
engaging and responding
to the person based on something
he or she has expressed either in
words or in nonverbal actions or
behavior.
Active Listening Techniques
1.
Rephrasing: Saying what the person
has said, using different words.
Helpee: “I always fail exams. It really
upsets me.”
Helper: “It’s very distressing.”
Active Listening Techniques
2.
Reflecting: Expanding on the topic,
adding in an acknowledgement or
exploration of feelings or unstated
thoughts.
Helpee: “I always fail exams. It really
upsets me.”
Helper: “Yes I can see that and I wonder
if you might be angry as well.”
Active Listening Techniques
3. Interest: Expressing genuine interest in the
circumstances of a person and inviting further
disclosure.
Helpee: “I always fail exams. It really upset
me.”
Helper: “Help me understand what it is like for
you when you go through this experience.
What happens once you’re aware of these
thoughts or how do you feel upset?”
Active Listening Techniques
4. Reframing: Offering an alternative way of
looking at a situation, usually one that is more
constructive and positive.
Helpee: “I always fail exams. It really upset me.”
Helper: “Yes, you’re miles ahead of someone
who does not have those feelings and isn’t
willing to be aware of them. And being upset
about your failure is a good sign because it
means your instinct to take care and evaluate
yourself is really kicking in.”
5.
Process: This skill involves listening,
reframing and expanding what the person said
using a question.
Helpee: “I always fail exams. It really upset
me.”
Helper: “How come this upsets you?”
Helpee: “I feel stupid?”
Helper: “How come you feel stupid?”
Helpee: “I really don’t know where I’ve gone
wrong.”
Helper: “You felt like a failure . . . .”
Helpee: “Yup, I am failure and no direction.”
Helper: “You feel?”
Helpee: “I don’t know what will happen with my
6. Attending Behavior: This skill involves eye
contact, posture, verbal and non-verbal cues.
-Eye contact may vary from person to person.
What posture should a lay pastoral counselor
take? Whatever posture is comfortable for
you. Be you.
-Are there verbal and non-verbal cues
lay pastoral counselor can use? Try
“uh/huh” “hmmm.” Also non-verbal
cues are smiling, looking puzzled,
nodding, or leaning forward in interest.
Be you.
7. SUMMATION
Combination of one or more phrases and
includes a reflection of feelings. A Lay pastoral
counselor ties together content and feelings
and tries to put this in perspective and
identifies important trends, conflicts and
possible decisions.
-Be aware of DISTORTION
-Be prepared to focus on the positive aspects of
the situation and don’t feed into the negative
aspects

Practicum: Each participant will draw a slip of
paper on which CLR (Counselor) and CLE
(Counselee) are written. CLE’s will prepare
crisis situations they may want to role play
and counselor would prepare for the
counseling session.