Positive parenting. Implications for
mother and fathers in risk of social
exclusion
Mona Sandbaek
Senior Researcher NOVA/HiO
Oslo
Madrid, 14 & 15 December 2010
The Council of Europe
Parenting in contemporary Europe.
A positive approach

Introduction. Mary Daly (editor)

Towards a vision of parenting in the best
interest of the child. N. Pecnik

A non-violent upbringing of children. S. Janson

Services to support positive parenting
M. Sandbaek

Support for parenting of children at risk of
social exclusion. A.Abela & G. Berlioz

Parenting-an element in drug prevention.
M.B.Sæther
Recommendation (2006) 19 on policy
to support positive parenting


Keys for parents
Guidelines for professionals
Main points

Parenting in the light of new knowledge
and the UN convention on the Rights of the
Child

Guidelines for a non-violent upbringing

Policies to support parental practices in
accordance with the UNCRC

Implications for mothers and fathers in risk
of social exclusion
The concept
“in the best interest of the child”

Parental guidance should respect
- the evolving capacities of the child,
- the views of the child,
- the right to be free from violence, neglect
and humiliating punishment

Parents should secure children’s living
conditions /if necessary with state support
The content of positive parenting

Creating good relationships, structures
and routines, attitudes and values

Providing children with nurture, structure,
recognition and empowerment

Exercise assertive but non-violent
discipline
Key concepts

NURTURE
(warmth, acceptance, involvement, support,...)

STRUCTURE
(guidance,standards, limits and reasons...)

RECOGNITION
(acknowledge child’s experience and views)

EMPOWERMENT
(enhance the evolving capacities of the child and its
increasing sense of autonomy)
Authoritative parenting

Warm and involved

Consistent in establishing and enforcing
guidelines, limits and developmentally
appropriate expectations

Allowing and promoting autononomous
behaviour and decision making
Children’s views on positive
parenting

Consultation with 22 young people (13-18)
and their parents – from 19 countries. (2005)

Different views also among children

They presented their views to the Conference
for European Family Ministers 2006
Content of positive parenting
according to children

The importance of being loved and cared for

A cultural climate of mutual understanding

They accepted and requested parental
guidance and boundaries, but in a non-violent
way (CoE 2007: Views on positive parenting
and non-violent upbringing).
Physical harm
Violation of Human Rights

The Universal Declaration on Human
Rights of 1948

The European Social Charter, art 17,
and the revised Social Charter 2001

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

National legislation
The Risk of a Violent Upbringing

Biological Consequences of Violence

Psychological and Social Consequences
of Violence

Promote children’s external
attributions/causes aggression, delinquency
and antisocial behaviour/close link between
corporal punishment and physical abuse
Seven Practices of Discipline
that Promote the Child’s Dignity

Respect of the child’s dignity

Develop pro-social behaviour, self discipline
and character
Maximise the child’s active participation





Respect the child’s developmental needs and
quality of life
Respect the child’s motivation and views
Assure fairness and transformative justice
Promote solidarity (S.Janson 2007)
Strategies to Help Children learn
Positive Behaviours

Providing regular positive attention and
communicate this to children of all ages

Listening carefully to children and helping
them to express their feelings

Helping children to learn how to evaluate
the potential consequences of choices

Reinforcing desirable behaviours with
praise and ignoring trivial misdeeds
Continuing

Modelling orderly, predictable behaviour,
respectful communication, and
collaborative conflict resolution strategies
Measures needed to support parents

ENSURING UNIVERSAL RIGHTS TO
MATERIAL SUPPORT;
- Public transfers and taxation
- Regulations for reconciling work and family life
- Childcare facilities

ENSURING ACCESS TO DIVERSE SERVICES
- Continuum; informal, semi-formal and form
Main Trends in Services
for Families and Children

Local centres, closer to people

Educational programmes for parents and
children

Services and programmes targeting
populations at risk

Child protection services

Institutions protecting children’s rights
Values to include parents and
children

Non-judgmental and non-stigmatising
orientation

A bottom-up approach

Treating parents and children as partners

Multi-focused and flexible services

Integrated, community based services

Inclusive of the experience of minority and
ethnic groups
Children’s living conditions- the
importance of family finances
Universal transfers and services
 Targeted economic support and services
 A child perspective on services for adults
 Measures safe-guarding children’s rights
to participation, in particular a free school
and access to leisure activities

Parenting in situations of social
exclusion
Access to social rights, income,
employment, housing, education and
health
 Reaching out to the families in their homes
and providing long-term support
 Considering the families in their context

Continuing




Providing them with good quality services
Building a trustworthy relationship and enabling
them to regain control of their own lives,
avoiding stigmatising practices
Training for parents and professionals together
Ensuring professionals competence and cooperation
Reaching out to professionals

Childcare, schools and after-school facilities,
health services and leisure activities

Co-operation between service providers

Co-operation between professionals and
parents
Overall principles in Rec (2006) 19

A RIGHTS-BASED APPROACH

RESPECT FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN
AND THEIR POTENTIAL

RECOGNICE THE DIVERSE TYPES OF
FAMILIES AND PARENTING

ADDRESS KEY PLAYERS; CHILDCARE,
SCHOOL, HEALTH

PROMOTE COOPERATION
Council of Europe recommends
that governments

…………………………create the
necessary conditions for positive parenting
in the best interests of the child

Take all appropriate legislative,
administrative, financial and other
measures…………………(CoE’s
Recommendation (2006) 19)