The Body Paragraph
Components
 Topic sentence
 Concrete detail (s)
 At least 2 commentary sentences
 Transition sentence
Definitions
 Topic Sentence
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MUST support the thesis statement
States the main idea of the paragraph
 Concrete Detail
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One of approximately 36 notes you took from one of your 5-8
sources
States a HARD fact (uses percentages, numbers, states years, etc.)
 Commentary Sentences
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Two sentences (per concrete detail)
Explains the relation between the concrete detail and the thesis
Can be an “If…then…” statement (i.e. If schools removed vending
machines, then children would be less likely to eat junk food
during the school day).
 Transition sentence
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Completes paragraph while previewing the topic of the next
paragraph
Connects the previous paragraph to the next one
Sample Body Paragraph #1
simple
[Topic sentence]. [Concrete detail #1]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2]. [Transition sentence].
Removing vending machines from schools would help lower childhood
obesity percentages. “Schools that have removed vending machines containing
junk food have seen a 9% increase in extra-curricular activities and a 15%
decrease in clinic visits” (“Fat Kids”). Based on the information above, schools
that remove vending machines can expect to see their student populations
increase their activity. Educators serious about seeing children make better food
choices during the school day will also see a decrease in visits to the clinic.
Removing vending machines that sell unhealthy foods is one of several decisions
schools can make to help students; they can also require more physical education
courses.
Sample Body Paragraph #2
complex
[Topic sentence]. [Concrete detail #1]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2]. [Concrete detail #2]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2].[Transition sentence].
Removing vending machines from schools would help lower childhood
obesity percentages. “Schools that have removed vending machines containing junk
food have seen a 9% increase in extra-curricular activities and a 15% decrease in clinic
visits” (“Fat Kids”). Based on the information above, schools that remove vending
machines can expect to see their student populations increase their activity.
Educators serious about seeing children make better food choices during the school
day will also see a decrease in visits to the clinic. Overweight students are six times
more likely to make repeat visits to the clinic throughout the school year (McBain 4).
Encouraging students to make healthy eating decisions will directly affect their
health. The unhealthy foods some vending machines contain provide no nutrition or
protection against average injuries. Removing vending machines that sell unhealthy
foods is one of several decisions schools can make to help students; they can also
require more physical education courses.
Counter Claim/Rebuttals
 Papers usually have rebuttals which is a statement
that attempts to weaken the opposing view or
counter claim by showing that they are unacceptable,
weak, not important, or even absurb.
 When writing an essay, you usually do not simply lay
down your arguments. You also have to address
the opposing views or criticism against your
thesis. Here are a few ways on how to write a
rebuttal in your essay.
How to write a rebuttal
 By use of appeal to reason. A typical way of
refuting (proving to be wrong) an opposition to your
argument, is by showing the fallacies (false statements)
committed by the opposition. For example, "just
because the ground is wet does not mean that it
rained".
 By use of appeal to emotion. This method is
typically used when you want to get the feelings of
your reader to side with your argument. More
commonly, it is done by getting the sympathy of your
reader. A classic example is the use of pathos.
How to write a rebuttal
 By use of analogies or metaphors. An analogy is like a way of
comparing two entirely different things. On the other hand, a
metaphor is an expression that refers to suggest a similarity. In your
rebuttal, you may compare the opposing to claim to something else in
order to show why it is unacceptable or absurd. For example, if your
thesis is that “teenage curfew is more effective in two-parent families"
and if the opposing claim is that “some people believe that
implementing a curfew will only give teenagers a reason to rebel against
parental rules and cause them to lie and sneak out", you may provide
an analogy by stating that “Just like rules, implementing a curfew,
especially for a teenager, will only be effective if both parents are on the
same page and apply consequences when it is not followed. Parents
who do not enforce a curfew might as well sign over ownership of their
car and house as it suggests that they are 100% responsible and
independent.”
Your Turn
• Get into groups/squads.
• Your teacher will hand you an envelope containing
sentence strips.
• As a group/squad, arrange the sentences in a
paragraph.
• The sentences are NOT labeled!
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–
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It is your responsibility to label them!
Identify the topic sentences, the concrete details, the
commentary, and the transition sentences.
There isn’t necessarily one correct way to arrange them, so
there will be several possible answers!
Writing Conclusion
Purpose of a Conclusion
 Sums up the main purpose of a paper (Thesis)
 Reviews the main points (subtopics)
 Reminds reader of how the main points connect to
the “big picture” on the picture (subtopics to thesis)
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Use your commentary; relate your initial argument to the
evidence
Step 1
 Return to the big picture
 Restate Thesis (do not repeat)
Step 2
 Summarize the way that the main points relate to the
the big picture or thesis
 Use your commentary for each of your main points
to show how your evidence supports your argument
Step 3
 Final Thought: leave your reader with a powerful
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idea
Statement of a new view
Hope for the future
Suggest for a change
Suggestion for a further study