Treating Trauma and
Borderline Issues
Effectively Using
Inclusive Therapy
Bill O’Hanlon
Raimy
“Psychotherapy is an undefined
technique applied to unspecified cases
with unpredictable results. For this
technique, rigorous training is
required.”
Dissolving Resistance and
Ambivalence
Discovering
Inclusive Therapy

Including obsessions
Inclusion Level 1
Permission #1

To
• You can
• It’s okay
• You’re okay if
Inclusion Level 1
Permission #2

Not to have to
• You don’t have to
• It’s okay if you don’t
• You’re okay if you don’t
Discovering
Inclusive Therapy

Handily escaping a bind

Protected vulnerability
Inclusion Level 2
Inclusion of seeming opposites

You can and not
• Opposite polarities
• Previously incompatible
experiences/traits
Inclusion
“Do I contradict myself? Very
well, then I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain
multitudes.”
–Walt Whitman
Inclusion
“Consistency is the last
refuge of the
unimaginative.”
–Oscar Wilde
Inclusion
“The only completely
consistent people are the
dead.”
–Aldous Huxley
Inclusion Level 3
Exceptions
That’s the way it is, except when
it’s not
• Moments of exception
• Including the opposite possibility
• Recognizing complexity
Inclusion/Exceptions
“Nothing is as
dangerous as an
idea when it is the
only one you have.”
– Emile Chartier
When to Apply Inclusion

Resistance

Inner conflict

Numbing

Compulsions/obsessions

Ambivalence

Shame/self-devaluing

Dissociation
Where to Apply Inclusion

Injunctions

Binds

Shame

Polarities/inner conflicts

Devaluing/self-criticism

Dissociation

Dis-identification/non-identification

Over-identification
Where to Apply Inclusion


Injunctions

Restraining - Can't, shouldn't, won't

Compelling - Have to, should, will, must
Be, think, feel, know, notice, do, talk about
Undoing Injunctions
Determine the injunction
Sex is bad.
It's not okay to get angry.
I have to relax or stop obsessing.
Use any or all of the inclusive methods to undo
injunctions
"It's okay to be connected and sexual."
"You don't have to relax. If the obsessions are there,
you can just let them be there."
Practice Undoing Injunctions
Determine the injunction
I have to . . .
I can't . . . .
It's not okay to . . .
I should . . .
People should . . .
Use any or all of the inclusive methods to undo
injunctions
Permission (to and/or not to have to)
Normalizing
Valuing of devalued aspects
Inclusion of opposites
Where to Apply Inclusion

Binds


Two competing or conflicting injunctions
operating at the same time
May be internal or interpersonal/contextual
Practice Undoing Binds
Undoing binds
"You can perfectly imperfect."
"That was terribly accommodating of you."
"You can achieve and not be the best."
"You can be loved even when you don't achieve."
Where to Apply Inclusion

Polarities/inner conflicts

May not seem like polarities or conflicts to others (i.e.,
having sexual pleasure and being connected with
another person)
“Anger and tenderness–my selves. And now I can believe they breathe
in me as angels and not as polarities. Anger and tenderness–the
spider’s genius. To spin and weave in one moment anywhere. Even
from a broken web.” –Adrienne Rich
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to
function.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald
OXYMORONS
Awfully nice
Exact estimate
Found missing
Same difference
Almost exactly
Sweet sorrow
“Now, then ...”
Working vacation
Terribly pleased
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Apposition of Opposites
Tag Questions
Apposition of opposites
"You can remember to forget those things that are
important to forget and remember to remember those
things that are important to remember.
Oxymorons
Elaborately casual; vicious pleasure; unconcerned
vigilance
Tag questions and comments
"That's the way it is, isn't it?"
Practice Inclusion of Opposites
Determine the conflict or polarity
I am this (and not that)
This but that
Swinging between this and that
Numbing/compulsive areas
Use inclusion of opposites
Use "and"
Simultaneous experience of two things
Oxymoron
Apposition of opposites
Harvard Law
Under the most rigorously
controlled conditions of pressures,
temperature, volume, humidity,
and other variables, the organism
will do as it damn well pleases.
Permission to use
This Powerpoint presentation was created by
Bill O’Hanlon ©2010. You have my permission
to use it for non-commercial purposes (like
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Bill O’Hanlon’s info
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http://www.billohanlon.com
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Email:
Bill@billohanlon.com
Contact information
Bill O’Hanlon, M.S., LMFT
Possibilities
223 N. Guadalupe #278
Santa Fe, NM 87501 USA
Bill@billohanlon.com
505.983.2843
www.billohanlon.com