Push your Boundaries Sue Stockdale www.suestockdale.com How emotions drive our responses In which areas of coaching do you want to “push your boundaries”? • • • • • • • • Type of client Type of issues you work with Processes you use (e.g. assessment, tools) Your pricing Reflective practice and supervision Level of professionalism Knowledge Dealing with silence, lack of action, challenge What helps us? • • • • • • • • Confidence in our own ability Desire to explore the “unknown” Acceptance of consequence Willingness to learn (from mistakes) Trends – others doing it Tolerance of “failure” Supportive environment Our attitude towards risk Performance vs. Stress High Quality of Performance Low Medium Level of Stress/Arousal High Change curve Denial Commitment Resistance Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work Acceptance Adapted from Kubler-Ross Johari Window Arena Known to all Façade Known to self Unknown to others Ref: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham Blind-spot Unknown to self Known to others Hidden Potential Unknown to all Arena Known to all Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking Known To All Minimal Effort +ve Excitement Engage ACTION Commitment “This is comfortable” Known To All -ve Antipathy Threat “I don’t like this task” avoidance What’s the point? Resignation Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5 Reluctant acceptance Hazardous Thinking Patterns • • • • • Anti-Authority – no one tells me what to do Impulsiveness – do something…anything Invincibility – it will never happen to me Macho – I can do it Resignation – whats the point? Ref: US Coast Guard Ways to address hazardous Thinking Patterns • • • • Anti-Authority – identify there are always rules Impulsiveness – stop and take a breath Invincibility – review what you actually did Macho – recognise others are likely to already know you can do it • Resignation – think what difference could I make here? Ref: US Coast Guard Where is your focus? PAST “What was” PRESENT “What is” FUTURE “What could be” Denial Commitment Acceptance Resistance Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work Adapted from Kubler-Ross Blind-spot Unknown to you Known to others Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking Unknown +ve Excitement Relate To You & Known to “I can learn from them” Others What’s this? Unknown To You & -ve Fear Defensive Known to “They might find Others out my weakness” No-one tells me what to do Anti-Authority Ref: Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5 ACTION Commitment Resistance Unknown to You Feedforward Known to Others Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Pick one area to improve or change Let go of the past Ask for ideas Listen and thank Follow-up Feedforward Identify one behaviour that you would like to change or improve e.g. more structured at start of session, doing more CPD Share it with another person and ask for one or two ideas Person offers ideas – you LISTEN and say THANK YOU – no discussions or judgements Ask them what they want to improve or change and offer them one or two ideas – THEY LISTEN and say THANK YOU Both move on to get more ideas from other people Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith Façade Known to self Unknown to others Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction Response Known Enjoyment To You & +ve Surprise Unknown To Others “This is a chance to shine” Known Engage To You & -ve Surprise Unknown To Others “I can’t believe they don’t know this? Thinking I can be of value to others I’ll show them Macho or Invincibility Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5 ACTION Commitment Denial Focus on Strengths My top five strengths are: • Futuristic - Wouldn’t it be great if? • Activator - When can we start? • Significance - to be recognised • Maximiser – Excellent not average • Focus – Where am I headed? www.strengthsfinder.com Hidden Potential Unknown to all Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking Unknown +ve Excitement To All What can we learn? Engage ACTION Acceptance “I am curious” Unknown -ve Fear “This is scary” To All Threat avoidance Do something ….anything Impulsiveness Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5 Commitment Factors that will help you to step into unknown Your level of comfort with change (stretch) Willingness to communicate thoughts and feelings (transparency) Ability to show vulnerability Confidence in your own capabilities Your ability to be aware of, and question assumptions No Influence & No Control Influence & No Control Influence & Control Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work www.suestockdale.com Helping people to achieve exceptional performance Twitter @suestockdale