Unit 1
Women of achievement
Jay Chou
Stephen Hawking
+people around you
Who is the person you admire most and why?
Title: The Person I Admire Most
Structure:
(Part1): An introduction to the person.
（background/achievement/appearance...）
*Ordinary people:
Reasons
why
(Part2):
you admire
him/her
character and examples
*Famous people:
achievement and spirit
(Part3): Evaluation (What you think of him/her)
A student’s sample
Let’s make comments(评论) according to the
following assessment(评价标准)！
The Person I Admire Most
In my life many people are well worth admiring, but
the person I admire most is Liu Xiang, who is one of the
best athletes in our country. His spirit and great
determination inspire me most. He likes singing and
surfing the Internet. Liu Xiang like sports when he was
very little. At first his parents wanted him to give it up.
However, Liu made up his mind to continue his dream. He
trained very hard. In the end, he set the best record of
12.88 seconds in 110-meter hurdles. His succeed makes Liu
more confident, and now he’s eyeing the 2008 Olympics in
Beijing. In a word, I am deeply moved by his spirit. We
can achieve our goals in life only with this spirit.
评价标准Assessment
Yes No
Take notes
Structure paragraphing
X
His spirit and ......
topic sentence
The Person I Admire Most
In my life many people are well worth admiring, but
the person I admire most is Liu Xiang, who is one of the
best athletes in our country. His spirit and great
determination inspire me most. He likes singing and
surfing the Internet. Liu Xiang like sports when he was
very little. At first his parents wanted him to give it up.
However, Liu made up his mind to continue his dream. He
trained very hard. In the end, he set the best record of
12.88 seconds in 110-meter hurdles. His succeed makes Liu
more confident, and now he’s eyeing the 2008 Olympics in
Beijing. In a word, I am deeply moved by his spirit. We
can achieve our goals in life only with this spirit.
Content to the point
details stated
X
He likes singing and
surfing the Internet.
The Person I Admire Most
In my life many people are well worth admiring, but the
person I admire most is Liu Xiang, who is one of the best athletes
in our country.
His spirit and great determination inspire me most. Liu Xiang
like sports when he was very little. At first his parents wanted him
liked
However Liu made up his mind to continue his
to give it up. However,
dream. He trained very hard. In
In the
the end,
end he set the best record of
12.88 seconds in 110-meter hurdles. His succeed
successmakes Liu more
confident, and
and now he’s eyeing the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
In a word,
word I am deeply moved by his spirit. We can achieve our
goals in life only with this spirit.
correct tense
correct spelling
Language modifying words
linking words
X
X
liked
success
confident, deeply, ...
but, however, and,
at first, in the end
Handwriting
neat
Post-writing
1.Peer assessment(同伴评价)
Exchange your writing with your
partner, make comments and fill
in the form(表格).
Rewrite!
The Person I Admire Most
In my life many people are well worth admiring,
but the person I admire most is Liu Xiang, who is one
of the best athletes in our country.
spirit
and
inspire
ItHis
is his
spirit
andgreat
great determination
determination that
inspireme
me most.
most.
As far as I know, Liu
Xiang
was
crazy liked
about sports when he was
very little. At first his parents wanted him to give it up.
However, Liu made up his mind to continue his
dream. Besides, he trained very hard. In the end, he set
the best record of 12.88 seconds in 110-meter hurdles.
His success makes Liu more confident, and now he’s
eyeing the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
In a word, I am deeply moved by his spirit. We can
Only
with
spirit
canonly
we achieve
our
goals in life.
achieve
ourthis
goals
in life
with this
spirit.
The 2nd draft
Language
advanced vocabulary（高级词汇）
various sentence patterns（多样化句型）
Post-writing
2. Group assessment (小组评价)
Choose one article and share it in
groups of 3.
Language
advanced vocabulary
various sentence patterns
If yes, underline with “
”.
If need improving, underline with “
Rewrite!
”.
3. Teacher assessment (教师评价)
I’ll make comments and grade(定档) it.
ASSESSMENT (for 3rd draft) 【各档次的给分范围和要求】
第五档(很好):
(13-15分)
1. 完全完成了试题规定的任务。 2. 覆盖所有内容要点。
3. 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
4. 语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或
较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。
5. 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。
6. 完全达到了预期的写作目的。
第四档 (好):
(11-12分)
1. 完全完成了试题规定的任务。
2. 虽漏掉1、2个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。
3. 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。
4. 语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较
复杂语法结构或词汇所致。
5. 应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。
6. 达到了预期的写作目的。
第三档(适当):
(8-10分)
1. 基本完成了试题规定的任务。
2. 虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容。
3. 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。
4. 有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。
5. 应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。
6. 整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。
The Person I Admire Most
The 3rd draft
In my life there are many people who are really worth admiring,
but the person I admire most is Liu Xiang, who is one of the best
athletes in our country.
It is his spirit and great determination that inspire me most. As
far as I know, Liu Xiang was crazy about sports when he was very
little. At first his parents wanted him to give it up. However, Liu
made up his mind to continue his dream. Besides, he trained very
hard. In the end, he keeps the best record of 12.88 seconds in 110meter hurdles until now. His success makes Liu more confident, and
now he’s eyeing the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
In a word, I am deeply moved by his spirit. Only with this spirit
can we achieve our goals in life.
教师评价(定档grade) 第五档(很好):
13分
第五档(很好):
(13-15分)
1. 完全完成了题目规定的任务。
2. 内容要点清晰。
3. 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
4. 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。
5. 完全达到了预期的写作目的。
Homework:
1. Gather useful sentences about
describing people.
2. Hand in the 3rd draft after class!
Goodbye Everyone!