REFUSAL SKILLS
GETTING OUT OF PERSUASIVE SITUATIONS
Persuasion Discussion With Your Partner
You will have about 1 minute per question
1.
Define what you feel is a persuasive situation?
2.
What would the point of persuasion be?
3.
In your opinion, what makes someone a good persuader? A poor persuader?
4.
What types of persuasion would work best on you (humor, honesty,
argument)? Why?
5.
What factors make it difficult to refuse someone who is trying to persuade you to do
something you may not be comfortable with?
What do these words have in common?
• AVOID
• ESCAPE
• REFUSE
3 ways to avoid a persuasive situation…
PERSUASIVE SITUATIONS
 AVOID: RECOGNIZE WHEN & WHERE A
PERSUASIVE SITUATION COULD OCCUR.
 Describe some potential
persuasive situations.
 ESCAPE: THINK OF ALTERNATIVES TO
AVOID THE SITUATION.
 What are some alternatives to your
persuasive situations?
 REFUSE: FOLLOW THROUGH WITH
ONE OF THE ALTERNATIVES.
 This is the easiest part, right?
Why or why not?
Definition of Persuasive Situation
 A situation where communication is intended to bring on certain beliefs or
actions.
• Physical communication
• Verbal communication
• Non-Verbal communication
Definition of Point of Persuasion
 The point during a Persuasive Situation where the potential “target” feels
the pressure to change their beliefs or actions.
Influencing Factors in Refusal Skills
1. How original is it?
Not tonight, I have a
headache…
Not tonight, I have a
headache…
3. How effective is
it when the couple is in
an intimate relationship?
2. How often is
it used?
USING REFUSALS:
Which of these refusals are realistic?
Which would work best for you?
 SAY “NO” FIRMLY
 REPEAT THE REFUSAL OVER & OVER
USING REFUSALS:
Which of these refusals are realistic?
Which would work best for you?
 GIVE A BELIEVABLE EXCUSE
 GIVE A REASON
USING REFUSALS:
Which of these refusals are realistic?
Which would work best for you?
 CHANGE THE SUBJECT
Hey!
Before you forget again, go ask your
parents if you can go to my cabin this
weekend.
 SUGGEST AN ALTERNATIVE ACTIVITY
Sigh…
He’s probably right.
I really like this, but I think we should go
to the basketball game so we don’t go too
far.
USING REFUSALS:
Which of these refusals are realistic?
Which would work best for you?
 IGNORE THE PROBLEM/ACT DUMB
Hey, you’re cute!
Come over here! What’s your
name??
Senior girl who
is stumbling
drunk & annoying…
Why do you keep asking me to do sexual stuff with you
when you know I’m not ready for it?
Can’t you respect what I want?
Dude, don’t look over there,
she’s talking to me.
Let’s go before she comes over
here.
 REVERSE THE PRESSURE
USING REFUSALS:
Which of these refusals are realistic?
Which would work best for you?
I’m not comfortable making a
decision yet.
Can we talk about this later?
 DELAY YOUR DECISION
 TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU HAVE
MADE YOUR DECISION
I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided that I’m not ready to have
sex yet.
Effective Characteristics of Refusal Skills…
1. Build or continue the
friendship/ relationship.
You may end the relationship,
just do it respectfully.
2. Do not embarrass the
other person or yourself.
3. Need to be reasons, not
excuses or “whatever”
lines.
REMEMBER GIRLS & BOYS…
HAVE YOUR REFUSAL
SKILLS IN PLACE!
It’s cheesy, I know…
But you need to know what you’re
going to say before your in a
persuasive situation!!!
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Hook-Up “LINES”
Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? You have “FINE” written all over you.
Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out.
Is your daddy a thief? Then who stole the stars & put them in your eyes?
Can I flirt with you?
Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only 10 I see!
Are your feet tired? ‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night!
Hey, Angel? Am I dead? ‘Cause this is heaven standing here with you…
Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
I lost my number, can I have yours?
Hi. You’ll do.
Do you have a map? ‘Cause I’m lost in your eyes.
Well, here I am. What are your 2 other wishes?
I bet you $20 you’ll turn me down.
If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Did you eat your Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious!
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?? I don’t know either, but it’s enough to break the ice.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.