Concluding Lecture: 2 Issues:
1. Family-Wide Nature of Violence
2. Violence & Proposed Solutions
SOC 5870
Violence in the Family
Dr. M.C. Sengstock, Ph.D., C.C.S.
1. Family-Wide Nature of Violence
Social Heredity of Violence
• Analysis of the 1st National Survey on Family
Violence
• Examining Data on Violence of the
Respondents & Their Parents
• Comparing Rates of Violence from the
Different Generations
Methodology
• Respondents – “Parents” Were Asked About Their
OWN Violent Behavior in Their Homes
– Against Each Other & Against Their Children
• Respondents – “Parents” Were Also Asked About
Their Memories of Their Own Parents’ (The
“Grandparents”) Violent Behavior in Their
Childhood Homes
– Against Each Other & Against Their Children (the
“Parents”)
(No Direct Information on the Grandparents)
Results – Rates of Spouse Abuse
• Grandparents:
– Men: 1/7 (13%) Were Violent to Partner
– Women: 1/12 (8%) Were Violent to Partner
• Parents:
– Men: 1/7 (13%) Were Violent to Partner
– Women: 1/8 (12.5%) Were Violent to Partner
• Question: Is There a Difference?
Correlations: Spouse Abuse
• Does Parental Spouse Abuse  Children
Abusing Spouse?
• Men With Violent Parents:
– 3x As Likely to Hit Own Wives
– 35% vs. 10.7% of Those With Non-Violent Parents
• Women Who Saw Parents Abuse:
– 3x As Likely to Hit Own Husbands
– 26.7% vs. 8.9% of Those With Non-Violent Parents
Correlations: Severe Spouse Abuse (Beatings)
• Men:
– Raised in Violent Families Have a Wife-Beating Rate
Which is 1,000% Greater Than Men From Non-Violent
Families
• Women:
– Raised in Violent Families Have a Husband-Beating
Rate Which is 600% Greater Than Women From NonViolent Families
• NOTE: Fathers’ & Mothers’ Violence Have An =
Impact on BOTH Boys & Girls – e.g., NOT Affected
By Gender
Rates: Child Abuse
• Compare Physical Punishment by
Grandparents to Parents’ Behavior Towards
Grandchildren
• Parents: Hit Teenaged Children – 35%
• Grandparents: Hit Parents as Teens – 37.3%
• Conclusion: Child Abuse Changed Little From
One Generation to the Other
Are Parents Who Were Punished
More Likely to Punish?
• NO – Because Everyone Punishes!
• Are Parents Who Were Punished More Likely
to Punish Severely?
• BOTH Mothers & Fathers:
– Those Punished As Children:
– 1/4 (25%) Abused Children Severely
– NOT Punished As Children:
– 1/10 (10%) Abused Children Severely
Gender Impact of Parents
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SAME SEX Parent Punishment More Influential
GrandFATHER Hits Son
Son Abuses Grandchildren
No Effect If Grandfather Hits Daughter
GrandMOTHER Hits Daughter 
Daughter Abuses Grandchildren
No Effect If Grandmother Hits Son
Apparently They Model Gender Related
Behavior
Physical Punishment:
Effect on Later Spouse Abuse
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Parents NOT Hit As Kids:
1/6 Had Violent Marriages
Parents Who WERE Hit As Kids:
1/4 to 1/5 Had Violent Marriages
Severe Abuse – Beatings:
Parents NOT Hit As Kids: 2% Beat Spouses
Parents Hit As Kids: 4x As Many Beat Spouses
(8%)
Effect of Child Abuse on Later Parent Abuse
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Not Elder Abuse – Parent Abuse in Childhood
18% of Children (3-17) in Study Had Hit Parent
(Since Only 1 Parent Interviewed, Could be 2x)
Correlation:
Children Not Hit: 1/400 (0.25%) Hit Parent
Children Hit: 1/2 (50%) Hit a Parent
Double Whammy
• People Who Were BOTH Abused Children
• AND Saw Parents Abuse Each Other:
• These Are the MOST VIOLENT MARRIAGES:
– Most Likely to Hit Children
– Most Likely to Hit Spouses
– Most Likely to Abuse Children Severely
– Most Likely to Abuse Spouses Severely
– Most Likely to Have Severe Sibling Violence
Lessons Taught By Violent Families
• Violence Begets Violence: Love = Hit
• Those Who Love You Most – Hit You Most
– If I Love, I Must Hit; If He Loves Me, He’ll Hit Me
– EX: Nursery School: “I Like Him”; Teen “Friend”
• Hitting Is Morally Right
– Correct Behavior; Avoid Injury; Achieve Morality
• Violence Is OK When Nothing Else Works
– Kids Learn to Use It Themselves Later
2. Solutions: Differing Views
on Violence
• Bettelheim: “Release It!”
• Teach Everyone to Express Violent Tendencies
• Otherwise They’ll “Build Up” & Then “Erupt”
– Slaughtered 12 Nurses; Boys in Milwaukee
– Old Traditions: Slaughter Pigs; Burn Witches
• We Need to Do This More – Too Much Tension
– School Raises Tension – Sit Still – Keep Clean – Sports
Releases Tension – Also Raises It
• Need to Let People Release Tension
– Scary Stories – Read Violent Words – Empty Out
Negative Feelings – Let Good Feelings Flow In
Recommended Solution
• Bach & Wyden: “Teaching Intimates to Fight”
• Intimates MUST Fight – If They Don’t …
• “Bad Fights” – Crude & Hurting – Result:
– Kitchen Sink Fights
– Gunny-Sacking – Everything Brought Up
– Psychiatric Museums – No Holds Barred
– Shaking the Money Tree – Money Attacks
– Dropping the Bomb on Luxemburg
Bach & Wyden Solution (ctd)
• WORST Fights:
• No Fights At All
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Anything You Want
Speech Is Silver, Silence Is Golden
Can’t Stand Hassling
You Should Know How I Feel
Silent Treatment
Fighting Not Gentlemanly/Ladylike
Be Nice
I Can’t Take You Seriously When You’re Angry
Back & Wyden Solution (ctd)
• Best Fights:
– In Front of Kids, Friends
– Before, During, After Sex
– Keep Arguments Fair
– Be Balanced – Old Hurts Aren’t Recalled
– “I” Statements vs. “You” Statements
• “Good” Fights Accomplish:
– Spontaneous Statements of Feelings
– Can Change a Relationship for the Better
Solutions: Alternate View on Violence
• Bandura & Walters – “Catharsis Myth”
• Experimental Study – 2 Groups:
– Experimental: Violence Catharsis Sessions
– Control: Non-Aggressive Play Sessions
• Post Test Story: Controls Were Less Aggressive
• Del Martin, Battered Wives
• Leonard Berkowitz: “Case for Bottling Up
Rage”
Q: Is Fighting a Good Solution?
• What If There Is a Basic Philosophical
Difference? “Communication Myth”:
– Woman Wants to Work – Husband Says No
– Wife Objects to His Mother’s Visit – He’s Mad
• This Might Lead to MORE Anger & Tension –
Not Less
• National Survey on Family Violence:
– More NON-Violent Conflict  More Violent
Conflict (e.g., Did NOT Decrease Violence Level)
Proposed Solution to Children’s Violence
• Behavior Modification
• Token Point System
– Discuss With Everyone
– Reward ALL Good Behavior
– NEVER Miss
• TO = Time Out
– Remove From Situation for Specified Time Periods
• Even Reluctant Fathers Admitted It Worked Better
• But What If It Doesn’t?