Characteristics of Helpful, Nonthreatening Feedback
Psyc 4030
Behavior not the person.
•
•
•
•
•
Refer to what a person does
Not what you imagine he/she is.
Use adverbs (which relate to actions)
Not adjectives (which relate to qualities)
Say a person "talked considerably in this
meeting,"
• Not this person "is a loudmouth.“
Observations not Inferences.
• Observations refer to what you can see or hear in
the behavior of another person,
• Inferences refer to interpretations and conclusions
which you make from what you see or hear.
• Inferences contaminate your observations
• When inferences or conclusions are shared, it is
important that they be so identified.
• Your hands are shaking vs. you were nervous.
Describe don’t Judge
• The effort to describe represents a
process for reporting what occurred,
• Judgment refers to an evaluation in
terms of good or bad, right or wrong,
nice or not nice.
• Judgments arise out of a personal
frame of reference or value system,
• Description represents neutral (as far
as possible) reporting.
• This is the third time you failed to
complete your assignment on time
• Not, you are lazy, or you are careless.
“More or Less" not “Either-or."
• This terminology implies that the behavior falls
on a continuum.
• Stress quantity, which is objective and
measurable vs.
• Quality, which is subjective and judgmental
• Low participation to high participation
not "good" or "bad" participation.
• Would you want to work on increasing your
frequency of telling the truth
• Would you like to stop being a liar?
Specific Situation, “Here and Now," not
Abstract Behavior “There and Then."
• Behavior is situation specific
• Time and place increase understanding of
behavior.
• Feedback is most meaningful if you give it as soon
as it is appropriate to do so.
• Not Something you said last week has been
bothering me. (This may be necessary for
counselors)
• Instead, What you just said bothers me.
Advise Tentatively with Alternatives
• People should decide for themselves,
in the light of their own goals
in a particular situation at a particular time.
• Save direct and specific advice for crisis
situations
• Not: You should change jobs
• Rather: Several possibilities you might consider
are
Evaluate Alternatives
• Ask what is the risk and
what is the benefit of each option
• Ask the client to choose which is the best for
them?
• Usually about 3 options is best.
• Not, this is what you should do
• Rather, which of these three is best for you right
now?
Feedback Must Help the Client Not
Relief for the Counselor
• Serve the needs of the client not the needs of the
counselor
• Client should (almost) always retain the option to
act on the feedback.
• (Legal and clear moral
issues are exceptions)
• If this is something you
are ready for here are
some options to consider vs.
• You really need to hear this.
Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity
• Less is more, more is less
• Avoid meeting your own need to dump.
Choose Your Moment & Place
•
•
•
•
Weigh the many possible reactions
Consider Privacy
Consider Overall Emotional Load
Avoid the end of the session
Avoid Guessing Motives
• When you relate feedback to the what, how,
when, where, of what is said, you
relate it to observable characteristics.
• Avoid the “why” (motive)
• You criticized her when she was crying
• You wanted to hurt her
Summary
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Behavior not the person.
Observations not Inferences
Description not Judgment
“More or Less" Behavior not “Either-or.“
Specific Situation, “Here and Now," not Abstract Behavior
“There and Then."
Give Advice Tentatively and with Alternatives
Evaluate Alternatives
Feedback Must Help the Client Not Relieve the Counselor
Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity
Choose Your Moment & Place
Avoid Guessing Motives