Common Courtesies and
Etiquette
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2
1
Chapter overview
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Common courtesies and etiquette
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What are etiquette and manners?
How should you make introductions?
How should you dine in public?
How should you handle social gatherings and
formal occasions?
What public courtesies should you observe?
What hygiene and grooming basics should you
observe?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
2
Chapter overview (cont’d)
• Managing stress
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What is stress?
What causes stress?
How does stress affect teens?
How can you manage stress?
How can you manage your time to reduce stress?
How can you use good study habits to prevent
stress?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
3
Chapter overview (cont’d)
• Behaving positively
• What are decisions and goals?
• What is the decision-making process?
• Why and how should you set goals?
• What are good interpersonal communication
skills?
• How can you eliminate communication
barriers?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
4
Chapter overview (cont’d)
• Mental and emotional health care
• What are emotions?
• What are the most productive ways to express
emotions?
• What are emotional needs?
• What are some typical mental health disorders?
• How can you prevent suicide?
• When and how should a person seek professional
mental health help?
• What are the various methods of therapy?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
5
Chapter overview (cont’d)
• Avoiding and preventing violence
• What is violence?
• How are gangs, weapons, and drugs related
to violence?
• How can you protect yourself from violence
and help prevent violence?
• How can you protect yourself from rape?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
6
Motivation
• Today, we’ll learn
some common
courtesies, the
basics of etiquette,
and how to handle
any social situation
with confidence.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
7
Lesson overview
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•
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What are etiquette and manners?
When should you make social
introductions?
What is the protocol for a receiving line?
How should you make personal
introductions?
How should you make introductions in
informal situations?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
8
Lesson overview (cont’d)
• When and how should you shake hands?
• What are the expected manners and
courtesies before eating?
• What is a formal dining table setting?
• What are the American and European styles
of eating?
• How should you use silverware?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
9
Lesson overview (cont’d)
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How should you eat finger foods and soup?
How should you use napkins?
What are the basics of table manners?
How should you make conversation during
meals?
• How should you handle formal social
invitations?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
10
Lesson overview (cont’d)
• How should you dress for an event?
• What responsibilities do you have to the
host?
• How should you write thank-you notes?
• What public courtesies should cadets
observe?
• What hygiene and grooming basics should
cadets observe?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
11
Quick Write
• What do you think are
good rules and
practices for courtesy
and etiquette? Make a
list of at least six
things that you do to
maintain courtesy and
etiquette in your
everyday life.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
12
What are etiquette and
manners?
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Etiquette—code of behavior or
courtesy based on rules of a polite
society.
Manners—socially correct ways of
acting as shown in widespread
customs.
Both are based in common courtesy,
sincerity, and consideration for others.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
13
When should you make social
introductions?
• You should introduce two people when
you realize that they don’t know each
other.
• At formal military receiving line
functions, a designated person may be
assigned to introduce everyone.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
14
What is the protocol for a
receiving line?
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Receiving line—a group of people who
stand in line and welcome guests
attending a function.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
15
What is the protocol for a
receiving line? (cont’d)
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At a military event, the receiving line
includes
• The host (SASI or commander of the unit
holding the reception)
• The spouse or guest of the host
• The ranking honored guest, with his or her
spouse or guest
• Other dignitaries with their guests
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
16
What is the protocol for a
receiving line? (cont’d)
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Cadets and guests go through receiving line when
they arrive.
For couples, lady goes before gentleman.
Adjutant may make introductions.
Gentleman tells adjutant lady’s name and his own.
If alone, individual gives name to adjutant.
Adjutant introduces attendees to host.
If no adjutant, gentleman makes introductions.
Guests and host shake hands, exchange greeting.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
17
How should you make
personal introductions?
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Keep introductions simple and direct.
Introduce juniors to seniors.
Introduce gentlemen to ladies.
Introduce parents to teachers.
Use the correct title when introducing
someone to a dignitary.
• Stand up to acknowledge an introduction.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
18
How should you make
introductions in informal
situations?
• Use first names except for adults,
seniors, or other important people.
• Remember names.
• Start a conversation or excuse yourself.
• Introduce yourself if there is no one to
make the introduction.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
19
When and how should you
shake hands?
• All gentlemen and all JROTC cadets
shake hands when introduced.
• Shake hands whenever someone
extends a hand to shake.
• You do not have to shake hands at the
end of a conversation.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
20
When and how should you
shake hands? (cont’d)
• How to shake hands
• Brief
• Firm and warm clasp
• Eye contact
• Do not
• Shake violently
• Grasp too tightly
• Shake for a long time
• Offer only fingertips
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
21
What are the expected
manners and courtesies
before eating?
• Gentlemen sit after all ladies at the table are
seated.
• A gentleman may hold the chair for his guest
and then for other ladies near him if ladies
outnumber men.
• Sit up straight at the table.
• Do not touch anything on the table until after
the blessing.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
22
What is a formal dinner table
setting?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
23
What are the American and
European styles of eating?
• American style (“zigzag” style)
• Hold fork in left hand, tines down.
• Put index finger on back of fork.
• Use fork to secure food to be cut.
• Hold knife in right hand.
• Cut no more than two or three bites of food.
• Put knife down.
• Move fork to right hand and eat.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
24
What are the American and
European styles of eating?
(cont’d)
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
25
What are the American and
European styles of eating?
(cont’d)
• After finishing your main course
• Place knife and fork beside each other on
dinner plate from 10:00 to 4:00.
• Server will know that plate may be removed.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
26
What are the American and
European styles of eating?
(cont’d)
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
27
•
What are the American and
European styles of eating?
(cont’d)
European style
• Hold fork in left hand.
• Hold knife in right hand.
• Cut food with knife.
• Eat food with fork.
• Keep fork in left hand.
• Keep knife in right hand.
• Cut and eat only one bite of food at a time.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
28
How should you use
silverware?
• Don’t
• Put used silverware back on the table
• Leave spoons in cups or bowls (put them on
saucers or plates, instead)
• Lay a knife or fork half on a plate and half on
the table
• Touch silverware you don’t use
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
29
How should you eat finger
foods and soup?
• To eat soup
• Move the spoon away from you to fill it.
• Sip from the side of the spoon.
• Don’t slurp.
• Tip the bowl away from you.
• If soup is too hot, wait for it to cool.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
30
How should you eat finger
foods and soup? (cont’d)
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Foods that you can eat with your fingers
• Bread, rolls, biscuits
• Nuts
• Fresh fruit
• Olives
• Radishes, raw carrots
• Cookies, small cakes
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
31
How should you eat finger
foods and soup? (cont’d)
• Place finger foods
on the bread plate.
• Break (don’t cut)
your serving of
bread into pieces
before buttering it.
• Butter and eat the
pieces one by one.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
32
How should you use napkins?
• Do not
• Tuck your napkin under your belt
• Wear your napkin like a bib
• Blow your nose on your napkin
• Do use your napkin to
• Dab your lips
• Catch spills
• Cover sneezes
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
33
How should you use napkins?
(cont’d)
• If you need to leave the table during dinner
• Excuse yourself.
• Leave your napkin on your chair.
• When you leave the table at the end of dinner
• Place your napkin to the right of your plate.
• Push your chair to the table.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
34
What are the basics of table
manners?
• Don’t move or remove place cards.
• Eat politely.
• Take small bites.
• Don’t chew with your mouth open.
• Don’t make loud noises while you eat.
• Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
• Excuse yourself if you burp.
• Don’t put personal items on the table.
• Keep your hands and arms off the table.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
35
What are the basics of table
manners? (cont’d)
• Use silverware to pick up food that spills on
the table.
• If something drops to the floor, pick it up after
the meal.
• If you drop your silverware, ask the server to
replace it.
• Taste your food before you season it.
• Hold a long-stemmed glass at the base of the
bowl or on the stem.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
36
What are the basics of table
manners? (cont’d)
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Don’t ask to take food home.
Don’t scold a server.
Don’t pick food out of your teeth.
Don’t leave before the host and the
honored guests.
• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
37
How should you make
conversation during meals?
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Do not talk too quickly or too slowly.
Keep the conversation light.
Avoid controversial or private topics.
Answer respectfully when addressed.
Do not talk with food in your mouth.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
38
How should you make
conversation during meals?
(cont’d)
• Do not yell or use profane, abusive, or
vulgar language.
• Be a good listener.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Don’t laugh at others.
• If you must disagree, do it respectfully.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
39
How should you handle
formal social invitations?
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The invitation should tell you
• What you are invited for
• Where it will be held
• When you should be there
• What you should wear
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
40
How should you handle
formal social invitations?
(cont’d)
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R.S.V.P.—reply to the hosts to let them know
if you will attend
You may decline the invitation if you have
other plans.
To decline, explain that you have a
conflicting duty or social engagement.
Use good judgment for the invitations you
refuse.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
41
How should you handle
formal social invitations?
(cont’d)
• Plan your timing so you can be punctual.
• For dinners and receptions, arrive at the time
on the invitation.
• For weddings, arrive before the time of the
ceremony (listed on the invitation).
• At an open house, you are not expected to
stay for the entire event.
• After a dinner party, stay at least an hour.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
42
How should you dress for an
event?
• Formal
• Gentlemen: tuxedo or uniform equivalent;
suit may be acceptable
• Ladies: evening gown
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
43
How should you dress for an
event? (cont’d)
• Informal
• Gentlemen: sport coat and tie
• Ladies: daytime dress or nice pants suit
• Casual
• Gentlemen: nice slacks and sports shirt
• Ladies: sundress or nice pants and blouse
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
44
What responsibilities do you
have to the host?
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Greet the host immediately.
Let the host run the event.
Make conversation.
Join activities.
Thank the host when you leave.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
45
How should you write
thank-you notes?
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Send the note within two or three days.
Use nice writing paper.
Use the proper format.
Make the note at least three paragraphs.
Don’t invite yourself back.
Use your own voice.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
46
How should you write
thank-you notes? (cont’d)
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Use correct grammar and spelling.
Be neat.
Don’t send thank-you notes as a group.
If you’re on a planning committee for a
Military Ball, send thank-you notes to
everyone who helped.
• Use block style to address the envelope.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
47
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
• Phone courtesies
• Don’t call during meal hours.
• Let the phone ring six times.
• Identify yourself when you call someone.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
48
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• When talking on the phone
• Be polite.
• Speak slowly and clearly.
• Don’t eat, drink, or chew gum.
• Don’t talk to someone in the room.
• If a call you placed gets disconnected, call right back.
• Say “May I ask who is calling?” instead of “Who is this?”
• If you dial a wrong number, apologize and hang up.
• Leave a clear message.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
49
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Do not use a cell phone when you are
• In school
• At social gatherings or appointments
• Eating meals
• Driving
• Inconveniencing or disturbing others
• In many public places
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
50
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• If an older woman or gentleman wants your
support, offer your arm.
• Do not offer your hand unless you cannot
offer your arm.
• Hand holding in public is not appropriate.
• Offer your hand palm up.
• Gentlemen walk on the curbside or to the left
of a lady.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
51
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Opening doors for others
• Gentleman who reaches the door first holds
the door for others.
• If a lady opens a door, a gentleman may hold
the door for her to continue.
• In cars, open and close the door for your
guest.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
52
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Being responsible for your guest
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Tell your guest about traditions and courtesies.
Discuss appropriate dress.
You are responsible for your guest’s behavior.
Introduce your guest to your friends.
Be sure that your guest is not left alone at an event.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
53
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Treat all people with the utmost respect.
• Respect military seniors, elders, parents,
teachers, and people in authority.
• Do not use slang or poor grammar.
• Do not address seniors by their first names.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
54
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Chewing gum
• Chew quietly and inconspicuously in public.
• Do not chew gum
• In formal situations
• At work
• If you are hosting
• If you are around food
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
55
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Waiting in line
• Don’t be noisy.
• Don’t push ahead.
• Wait your turn.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
56
What public courtesies
should cadets observe?
(cont’d)
• Be polite in conversation.
• Use the following sincerely
• Please
• Thank you
• You’re welcome
• Excuse me
• I’m sorry
• I beg your pardon
• Do not say, “Pardon me.”
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
57
What hygiene and grooming
basics should cadets
observe?
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Be well-groomed.
Hair should be clean and neat.
Shower and use deodorant daily.
Brush and floss daily.
Young men should shave as often as
necessary.
• Cadet uniforms should be clean, pressed, and
presentable.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
58
Lesson review
• Etiquette is a code of behavior or
courtesy based on rules of a polite
society.
• Manners are socially correct ways of
acting as shown in widespread
customs.
• Make introductions when you realize
that two people don’t know each other.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
59
Lesson review (cont’d)
• A Military Ball’s receiving line includes
the host and honored guests.
• All cadets go through a Military Ball’s
receiving line.
• In a receiving line, people shake hands
and exchange simple, pleasant
greetings.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
60
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Keep personal introductions simple and
direct.
• Introduce juniors to seniors.
• Use a dignitary’s title when making an
introduction.
• Introductions in informal situations may
be casual.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
61
Lesson review (cont’d)
• You may use first names in an informal
situation unless you are referring to an
adult, a senior, or another important
person.
• After making an introduction, help start
a conversation or excuse yourself.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
62
Lesson review (cont’d)
• All gentlemen shake hands when
introduced.
• All Air Force JROTC cadets shake hands
when introduced.
• Shake hands whenever someone
extends a hand to you.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
63
Lesson review (cont’d)
• A proper handshake is brief, but the
clasp should feel firm and warm.
Maintain eye contact.
• Gentlemen help seat ladies before
eating.
• Dinner guests do not touch anything on
the table until after the blessing.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
64
Lesson review (cont’d)
• A formal dining table setting includes
silverware for each course of the meal.
• The American style of eating requires
you to move the fork from hand to hand.
• The European style of eating requires
you to hold the knife in your right hand
and your fork in your left hand.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
65
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Do not place used silverware back on
the table.
• Leave unused silverware on the table in
its proper position.
• Do not slurp soup.
• Certain foods such as bread, nuts, and
fresh fruit may be eaten with your
fingers.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
66
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Break servings of bread into pieces
before buttering and eating them.
• Use your napkin to dab your lips, catch
spills, and cover sneezes.
• Take small bites. Excuse yourself if you
burp.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
67
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Keep hands, arms, and personal items
off the table.
• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.
• Keep conversation at the table polite,
light, safe, and non-controversial.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
68
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Respond to a formal social invitation
within two or three days.
• If an invitation does not tell you how to
dress for an event, ask the host or
hostess.
• When you arrive at a social event, find
and greet the host or hostess first.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
69
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Find the host or hostess to say thank
you and good-bye when you leave.
• Send thank-you notes within two or
three days of attending a social event.
• Write thank-you notes on writing paper.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
70
Lesson review (cont’d)
• Observe public courtesies in all
situations.
• Shower daily and be sure that your hair
is neat and clean.
• Brush and floss daily.
• Young men should shave as often as
necessary to be presentable.
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
71
Summary
•
•
•
•
What are etiquette and manners?
When should you make social introductions?
What is the protocol for a receiving line?
How should you make personal
introductions?
• How should you make introductions in
informal situations?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
72
Summary (cont’d)
• When and how should you shake hands?
• What are the expected manners and
courtesies before eating?
• What is a formal dining table setting?
• What are the American and European styles
of eating?
• How should you use silverware?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
73
Summary (cont’d)
•
•
•
•
How should you eat finger foods and soup?
How should you use napkins?
What are the basics of table manners?
How should you make conversation during
meals?
• How should you handle formal social
invitations?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
74
Summary (cont’d)
• How should you dress for an event?
• What responsibilities do you have to the
host?
• How should you write thank-you notes?
• What public courtesies should cadets
observe?
• What hygiene and grooming basics should
cadets observe?
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
75
Next
Done— Common courtesies and
etiquette
Next— Managing stress
Personal Behavior
Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common
Courtesies and Etiquette
76