Gallatin Gifted Group
October 15, 2012
Welcome!
 Who we are: Barbara Geller, Wendy Morical
 Connections for parents

Gallatin Gifted Group mailing list
 SENG group


Our goal this evening
“If just being smart is all there is to being gifted,
then what’s the problem?”
–Living with Intensity, Rivero
You are packing the last of the boxes on the
moving van when you spy your 10-year-old
carefully tearing a bit of wallpaper from the
living room. Upon closer examination, you
see that he has pieces of wallpaper from
every room tucked away in a shoebox.
“These will help me remember every room in
the most special house in the world,” he
explains to you.
- These samples are from Delisle’s Parenting Gifted Kids
You take your teenage daughter to an art
museum and split up so each family member
can visit his or her favorite galleries. An
hour later, you find your daughter just
where you left her, and there are tears in
her eyes. “This single painting carries the
essence of what it means to be human,” she
says. It’s then that you realize she has
spent her whole time gazing at this one
piece of artwork.
Your son’s teacher sends you a note that
reads, “Although I love Joey’s
enthusiasm, he must stop shouting out
his answers in class. Also, please talk to
him about the incessant tapping of his
pencil, and his need to sit down when he
is doing his worksheets.”
After your 4-year-old falls in the
driveway, scraping her knee, you take
her in your arms to comfort her tears.
Once soothed, she looks you straight in
the eye and says, “Mommy, it’s never
going to get better than this.”
“In ways both subtle and all-too-obvious, society tries to
transform unique perceptions into commonplace, standard-issue
behaviors, beliefs, perceptions, and attitudes. When this occurs,
we chip away … the essence of giftedness.
– Parenting Gifted Kids, Delisle
 “Gifted
children take in information from the
world around them; they react and respond
more quickly and intensely than other
children. They are stimulated both by what’s
going on around them and by what moves
them from within.”
 “Because
they can be so greatly stimulated,
and because they perceive and process things
differently, gifted children are often
misunderstood.”

Living with Intensity, Daniels and Piechowski
“ A child, rich in intensities
and sensitivities, cannot
be brought down to the
“normal” range… Gifted
children should not be
pressed to “fit in” with all
of the other children the
same age. Rather, their
capacity for intense
experiencing is an asset
that deserves to be
understood and affirmed
instead of squashed.”
Living with Intensity, Daniels and
Piechowski
 Educate
ourselves
 Communicate
 Model
 Advocate
 Celebrate!

Theory of Positive Disintegration
Kazimierz Dabrowski
Viewed “superstimulatability” as potential for further
growth
 Disintegration as a prelude to rebuilding
 Emotional development is result
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Development Potential – three factors
Genetic traits: talents, specific abilities, general
intelligence
 Overexcitibilities
 Capacity for self-determination, autonomy
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Five Overexcitabilities
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Innate tendencies to respond to various stimuli
Experience of things may be deeper, more vivid, more
acutely sensed
 “…greater
capacity to be stimulated by and
respond to external and internal stimuli.
Overexcitability permeates a gifted person’s
existence. Whether it’s music, language,
physical sensing, kinesthetic activity,
imagination, or something intellectual, an
overexcitability orients and focuses [him].
Overexcitability gives energy to [his]
intelligence and talents. It shapes [his]
personality development.”

Note: this quote, and the following overexcitability information
is taken directly from Living With Intensity, edited by Daniels and
Piechowski.
“There is a vitality, a life force, a
quickening that is translated through you
into action, and there is only one of you
in all time. This expression is unique, and
if you block it, it will never exist through
any other medium; and be lost. The world
will not have it.”
–Martha Graham, 1894 - 1991
 Muscular
activity associated with mental
 High energy level
 Not associated with athletic talent; due to
asynchrony, that may even lag behind
 Movement facilitates learning
 May be verbally active as outlet
 “Enthusiastic, driven, competitive, acting
out…”
 May be misdiagnosed as ADHD
 According
to Daniels, these children need to
hear:
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“You have wonderful enthusiasm and energy.”
“I wish I had your energy.”
“You put your whole body into your learning.”
“Your intensity [drive] can help you do many
things.”
“Sometimes our bodies need to relax.”
Strategies to support children
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Discuss positive aspects of OE.
Plan for movement, avoid prolonged sitting.
Involve child in physical tasks – errands?
Teach that time out can be a choice, not
punishment.
Model and teach relaxation techniques.
Help child notice signs of exhaustion or need for
quiet time.
“The spectacle of the
sky overwhelms me.
I’m overwhelmed when
I see, in an immense
sky, the crescent of the
moon, or the sun.”
–Joan Miró, 1893 – 1983
 Heightened
experience, both + and -, of
seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, and
hearing
 Often coupled with enhanced aesthetic
appreciation
 Smell may evoke deep, positive emotional
connection – or strong aversion
 Finicky eater – or gourmand
 Sounds can be soothing, uplifting – or highly
irritating
 Sensitive to touch (labels, socks); may
appreciate comfort objects longer
 Not exaggerating! Experience is real to them
 According
to Daniels, these children need to
hear:
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“You take such delight in beautiful sights,
sounds, and feelings.”
“You like ________, but I notice _______ bothers
you.”
“It seems you know what you like and what feels
good to you.”
“Sometimes, it’s good to try new things. Would
you like to try________?”
Strategies to support children
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Discuss positive aspects of OE.
Provide environments that limit offensive stimuli.
“Dwell in delight”! – make time to relish
pleasures.
Allow for child to control own living space as
much as possible.
Help the child find comfortable and appropriate
clothing.
Allow for prolonged attachments to objects.
“My goal is simple. It is a
complete understanding of
the universe, why it is as it
is and why it exists at all.”
- Stephen Hawking, born 1942
Capacity and appetite for intellectual effort and
stimulation
 Quest for understanding, truth
 Curiosity, “Why?” questions, fixations
 Mental multi tasking; thinking own “what if…”
thoughts, also following along
 Requires access to rich, varied challenges
 May be coupled with perfectionism; focused,
driven until “perfect”
 “Sometimes I feel like a big head rolling around”
 Profound focus may be misdiagnosed as
“spectrum-y”

 According
to Daniels, these children need to
hear:
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“Your curiosity fuels your intelligence.”
“You have wonderfully wide/deep interests.”
“You have great potential to learn new things
and make changes.”
“You really stick to projects that interest you.”
“You defend your ideas and are open to learning
different information.”
Strategies to support children
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Discuss positive aspects of OE.
Listen to child’s ideas; schedule if necessary.
Honor child’s desire to know and understand.
Help children find answers to their own questions.
Allow child to develop and pursue own projects.
Help children develop goals and self-reflect on
progress toward them.
Seek opportunities for interaction with intellectual
peers.
“I dream, therefore I exist.”
–August Strindberg, 1849-1912
Linked with creative production
 Heightened capacity for fantasy, less constrained
by “the way it is.”
 Imaginary playmates common
 Imagination is source of retreat and delight
 Need to make thing more interesting can be
challenging for teachers
 Capable of clear mental visualization
 Daydream
 Great asset; wanes with teen/adult pressure to
“grow up!”
 Can lead to mistaken ADD diagnosis

 According
to Daniels, these children need to
hear:
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“You have a rich imagination.”
“You view the world in a unique way.”
“You think of and tell great stories.”
“You make the mundane extraordinary” (!)
Strategies to support children
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Discuss positive aspects of OE.
Cherish and preserve creative and imaginational
expression.
Provide opportunities for relaxation and free
flow of ideas.
Provide creative outlets.
Help small children distinguish between
imaginary and the real world, determine when
imagination is appropriate.
Have child use imagination to solve problems and
cope with challenges.
“I have found it easier to identify with the
characters who verge upon hysteria, who
were frightened of life, who were desperate
to reach out to another person. But these
seemingly fragile people are the strong
people really.”
-
Tennessee Williams,
1911-1983
 Most
extensive, Dobrowski felt
 Not as prized as intellectual, creative
 Intense feelings that are manifested in
extreme, complex, positive or negative ways
 Significant emotional response to
“insignificant” stimuli
 Sometimes rooted in fears, anxieties:
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death
loneliness
love
concern for others
excruciating self-scrutiny
 Complexity
of emotional response can
paralyze or inhibit: how to act?
 Strongest bonds not always with peers
 Empathy for others, social action
 Sometimes somatic expressions: heart,
sweat, stomach…
 Often accused of overreacting, drama
 Can transcend own life and see overarching
principles
 Misdiagnosed as depression, anxiety, bipolar
 According
to Daniels, these children need to
hear:
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“You are sensitive to others’ feelings.”
“You care very deeply and have deep feelings.”
“You are very loyal to those you care about.”
“You are wonderfully aware of
joy/frustration/love/anger/sadness…”
Strategies to support children
 Discuss positive aspects of OE.
 Accept feelings and the intensity with which they
are expressed
 Develop a feeling vocabulary
 Learn listening and responding skills
 Teach children to anticipate emotional
experiences, and rehearse responses, strategies
 Use journaling to record feelings
 Find activities that provide for expression of
empathy and social concern
 Ensure
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appropriate educational services
Challenge, to stretch and develop strategies
Organizational skills
Work ethic
Interaction with students
 Focus
on the experience of giftedness to
problem solve
 Use creativity, patience, trust
 Don’t sacrifice own needs or internalize
child’s struggles
 Know
what calms each family member down
 Can be related to senses
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Music, white noise, quiet, noise cancelling
headphones
Dimmer switches
Aroma therapy
Yoga, breathing, exercise
Hugs, stroking, hand massage
Visualization
Pilates balls, rocking
 All
kids need boundaries
 Schedules for chores (let child track)
 Family meetings
 Advance warnings if change-averse
 Wear the new shoes out of the store
 Make sure they realize you’re talking to them
(name, touch)
 Know
signs and situations that may trigger
distress or “emotional flooding”
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Come up with ways to communicate when a
family member is getting distressed
Share with teachers
 Clothes
that don’t irritate (tags, textures)
 Classroom seating choices
 Snacks, protein breakfasts to eliminate
“bipolar” reactive hypoglycemia
 Expect needs to change as they mature
 Acknowledge

the emotions
“Mom, I don’t want you to solve my problem. I
want you to acknowledge my emotions.”
 Spend
time one-on-one with each family
member
 Document optimistic options
 Tag team
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Let others help
Step in to deescalate
 Take
care of yourself
 Celebrate successes
Daniels, Susan and Michael Piechowski, eds.
Living with Intensity. Great Potential Press, 2009
 Delisle, James. Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for
Raising Happy and Successful Children. Prufrock
Press, 2006
 Fonseca, Christine. Emotional Intensity in Gifted
Students. Prufrock Press, 2011
 Michels, Debbie and Teresa Rowlinson. Getting
Over Excitabilities. SENG Vine, March 2011
(www.sengifted.org)
 Rivero, Lisa. The Smart Teen’s Guide to Living
with Intensity. Great Potential Press, 2010
 Webb, James et.al. Misdiagnosis and Dual
Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults. Great
Potential Press, 2005
