Interpersonal Conflict
Wimot & Hocker
Chapter overview
Why study conflict?
Definition of conflict
Scares resources
Personal history
Three categorize of family conflict behaviors
The Lens model
Why study conflict?
“The study of conflict is a basic human requirement
and the practice of constructive conflict is an essential
set of interpersonal skills.”
Conflict can help maintain and understand one’s own
interpersonal relationships
Conflict defined
Conflict is an expressed struggle between two or more
interdependent parties.
Conflict has perceived incongruent goals
Conflict can be a struggle for scares resources
In conflict, individuals perceive other as a road bock to
attain their own goals.
Examples of scares recourses
Money
Time
Affection
Attention
Personal History
"History never repeats itself ,as most people fear. People
usually repeat history.“ – Divine Chikobvu
How a person deals with history can be tied to their
own families history with conflict
The three categorize of family
origin
Avoidant families
Collaborative families
Aggressive families
Rules of an Avoidant family
Family doesn’t recognize conflict
Walks away when conflict arises
Doesn’t allow expressions of strong feelings
Doesn’t acknowledge struggle
Rules of Collaborative families
Have family meetings or meal time discussions
Say openly what they are feeling
Parents help resolve children’s conflicts
Strong feelings are normal and allowed
Rules of Aggressive Families
Survival of the fittest describes the general climate
Be brutally honest regardless of impact
People who don’t engage are weak
Have an audience present when you engage someone
The Lens Model of conflict
Conflict can be viewed like lenses through glasses.
The fundamental aspects in the lens model are 1)
communication behaviors 2) the perceptions of those
behaviors
Individuals may have different perspectives of the same
behaviors. Each person may have a different view of…
Oneself
The other person
The relationship
Two people in conflict can
have different perspectives on
the same conflict
Notice how the two characters perceive the odds
differently
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX5jNnDMfxA
Bibliography
Hocker, Joyce. Wilmot, William. “ Interpersonal
Conflict”. McGrawHill. Boston. 2007.