Essay Writing
3 Essays
• Compare/Contrast
• Change over time
• Document Based Questions
Compare and Contrast Essay Thesis
Statements
The College Board has a very specific view of an
acceptable thesis statement for each of it’s
types of essays
Compare and Contrast: The Thesis sentence
must contain the two civilizations your
contrasting. One similarity and one difference, in
a specific topic. (they must be directly
comparable)
Ex.
Although both imperial Rome and Han China
used taxes and the military as methods of
political control, they differed in how they
determined their rulers.
What is the similarity? Difference? Topic?
What to do avoid to get a
“sophisticated” Thesis
• These words
– Social
– Political
– Economic
• Instead…be specific
– Social = slavery
– Economic = trade
– Political = invasion
2010 COMPARE/CONTRAST THESIS
During the classical period, there were many
similarities and differences between the
methods of political control in the empires of
Han China and imperial Rome. They were
similar in that they both functioned on a similar
type of government. They were different in
their ideals and practices.
INADEQUATE
2010 COMPARE/CONTRAST THESIS
During the classical period, the Han dynasty and
Roman Empire created strong, politically
centralized powers. Both empires were led by a
central ruler and both used roads to connect
parts of the empire for political control;
however, they differed in their methods of
justifying imperial rule and in their protocol for
obtaining lesser government positions.
Adequate
2010 COMPARE/CONTRAST THESIS
Both Han China and imperial Rome reflected
centralized government with similar goals in
regards to political control. However, the means
in which each government used to regulate its
people and policy varied greatly in procedure,
technique, and purpose.
INADEQUATE
2010 COMPARE/CONTRAST THESIS
Both empires had methods of political
control which kept them in power,
somewhat similar and different from each
other, which is seen in their economy,
social organization, and politics in general.
INADEQUATE
2010 COMPARE/CONTRAST THESIS
Though both Han China and imperial Rome
controlled through a monarchy, encompassed
and conquered land through a monarchy, and
instituted positions in the government for
regional control, however China utilized their
intricate examinations to fill their government
where Rome relied upon appointments and a
society based on patronage.
SOPHISTICATED
Why do you want to shoot for
sophisticated?
Essays are graded out of 9 points
Standard core – 7
Expanded core – Extra 2 points (subjective, but a
sophisticated thesis will get you there)
Add more C/C stuff
• Other Points That Score!
Answering all parts of the question (2 points)If you
only do sim/differences you can still earn a point
Direct Comparisons-Should be a direct comparison
meaning its one sentence, that includes what is
being compared for both civilization/societies.
Substantiates thesis with appropriate historical
evidence. Rule of thumb is 6, shoot for 9 (3 ex each
body paragraph)
Analyzes at least one reason for a similarity or
difference identified in a direct comparison. Do it
3 times!
Format: 5 Paragraph Essay
1. Thesis
2. Body Paragraph #1 –
1st Sentence Direct Comparison
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence Analysis – Why is
it Sim/Diff
3. Body Paragraph #2 –
1st Sentence Direct Comparison
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence Analysis – Why is
it Sim/Diff
4. Body Paragraph #3 –
1st Sentence Direct Comparison
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence Analysis – Why is
it Sim/Diff
CCOT
What a Change Over Time Thesis must
Have
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Region
Time
Any Questions Specific Details
Historical Context/Must be organized around
Change and Continuity (include a sense of
beginning, middle, and end)
“analyze the process and explain the cause.”
Two Formula’s For a thesis
• During the time period (date) to (date), the
(topic) changed from (A) to (B) to (C); however,
(D) stayed the same throughout the era
because…
• In the period ___________to _________ ,
_______________changed from ________to
_____________, while _____________ stayed
the same.
• In the period 600 to 1450, China’s government
changed from Chinese rule to the rule of the
Mongols which influenced China politically,
economically and socially, while China’s
unique identity and culture stayed the same.
Question
Analyze continuities and changes in patterns of
interaction along the Silk Roads from 200 B.C.E.
to 1450 C.E.
The Silk Roads connected Europe to East Asia. The
nomadic Mongols on the eastern steppes began the
trade. The Silk Road was originally designed to transport
trade but it would also begin to trade religions, ideas, and
diseases through the eastern hemisphere through the
merchants that used the Silk Roads.
Generally too vague; does not offer a timeframe; the
movement of religions, ideas, and disease is presented as
a change but it was actually a continuity. What continuity
is mentioned?
The Silk Roads fostered interaction and communication
from 200 B.C.E. to 1450 C.E. Throughout this period of
time, the Silk Roads would encourage the spread of
religion, ideas, items, and pathogens. While the Silk Road
was originally intended as an adventurous process of
exchange from silk to China, and therefore valuable goods
returning to China, growing empires would input new
religions and items.
Student offers new religions and items as both change
and continuity; which is it? Student would receive credit
for thesis statement if he/she had identified the items
that changed as they moved across the Road throughout
time.
Other points
Between 200 BCE and 1450 CE, the Silk Roads were not only
used for trade but also used for cross-cultural interaction with
different peoples. These cross-cultural interactions caused
changes in people’s lives and religion. Not only did the lives of
the people change but so did the interactions on the Silk
Roads. Not everything changed, though; there were definite
continuities like the type of good or location of the goods.
Change is acceptable with reference to introduction of
different religions (“changes in people’s lives” is too vague);
“type of good” is minimally acceptable as continuity
(identifying the type of good would be better).
As the Marco Polos, Ibn Battutas, and countless other merchants can
attest, the Silk Roads were an astonishing characteristic of the ancient
world. These famed passageways between great empires and
kingdoms spread religion, culture, and wealth around half the globe.
Patterns constantly changed from 200 B.C.E. to 1450 C.E., the most
interesting being a monopolization of the routes as a multicultural
sharing of the roads early on developed into subsequent domination
by at least the dar al-Islam and China, and then the Mongols.
However, there always remained continuities that characterized those
roads, including the spread of disease and the diversification of
religion among various ethnic groups . . . .
This is not only adequate, it is sophisticated: very few students are
going to come up with something as insightful as this.
Other Change and Continuity Points
Addresses All Parts of the Question (2)-You can get
one point for discussing just changes/continuities
Support your thesis with appropriate historical
evidence(2) – Rule of thumb is 8, go for 9 or more
Include the characteristics of historical periods to
explain the context of change (Global Context)-All
time periods have characteristic
changes/continuities, find those and then make
larger connections
Analyze the process of change and continuity. –
Explain why that thing(s) changed or didn’t
Three Structures
Basic- 6 paragraph essay
I. Intro (thesis)
II. Explanation of Start point
III. Explanation of Change
IV. Explanation of another Change
V. Explanation of continuity
VI. Conclusion
Sophisticated – 5 paragraph Essay
I. Into-(thesis)
II. Explanation of Start, Change,
and End of category #1
III. Explanation of Start, Change,
and End of category #2
IV. Explanation of Start, Change,
and End of category #1
V. Conclusion
Each Body Paragraph Should
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•
•
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Contain a topic sentence
Two, preferably three specific examples
Connect to a global context
Close by stating a reason for the change or
continuity
DBQ Essay Writing
• As you finish reading the documents, you are ready to
group them.
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time period
Region
types of sources
Theme
or other criteria.
In general, the best DBQs are those where the student
groups the documents based on the content in the
documents;
• Make a quick chart in the test booklet.
Here are a few key points about
grouping.
• Have at least THREE groups.
– Each group needs at least TWO documents.
– You can use a document in more than one group.
• Use all the documents.
– Though there are no irrelevant or misleading documents,
sometimes you might find one document that does not seem to
fit their otherwise wonderful grouping plan. It is okay to include
such a document in an intro or conclusion. This will count
toward the requirement of addressing, understanding, and
supporting your thesis. However, you must interweave that
document artfully in an introduction or conclusion to show that
you understand the meaning of the document and that it
supports your thesis. Of
Thesis
• As always with the all essays on this exam,
draft a clear, one-sentence thesis that fully
addresses the prompt, takes a position you
can support, and provides a structural
framework for the rest of your essay.
Using Documents
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•
Always cite the document. You should cite each document every time you use it.
Putting a (Doc. 1) or a (1), for example, after each usage is fine.
The hardest point for most students to earn in the DBQ is for point of view (POV).
This point is earned as you demonstrate that you understand how a person’s
background, situation, purpose, audience, or life experience affects what he or she
says and how he or she says it.
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gender,
occupation,
social class
Religion
ethnicity,
Education
nationality
Your POV statements should come as you begin to address a document or right
after you finish using the document—never as a list at the end of the essay.
You should include a POV reference for each
document- or at least once a body paragraph
• Although the generic scoring guide only
requires two document references for basic
core points, every document is selected by the
test makers to have a point of view
• attempting only two points of view is never a
good idea, as you might not reach an
acceptable level with your two attempts
At the end of each body paragraph, ask for an
additional document (AD) and explain why you need
it.
Here, your skill with comparison, contextualization, interpretation, and
synthesis is being assessed. You must ask for a document that is
– Possible: A letter from God, or a TV broadcast from the 1258 C.E. Mongol
conquest of Baghdad are not feasible documents and will not count.
– Relevant: In a DBQ about the factors that shaped the modern Olympics, a
Taoist scripture about the benefits of exercise is too much of a stretch. The
document must be relevant to the point of your essay.
– Not already supplied: If you already have a document from a fourth-century
Christian monk discussing illuminated manuscripts, do not ask for an
additional monk’s ideas to confirm the statements in the original document.
That will not count.
– Specific: You will not earn this point with a statement such as “I would like to
have a document from a woman to know how women felt about this topic.” Be
specific in the type of document you want and why you want it. This request
for an AD must be specific in the type of document you want,
Format: 5 Paragraph Essay
1. Thesis
2. Body Paragraph #1 –
1st Sentence Topic
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence- POV
6th Sentence- Additional Document
3. Body Paragraph #2 –
1st Sentence Topic
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence- POV
6th Sentence- Additional Document
4. Body Paragraph #3 –
1st Sentence Topic
2nd -4th Sentence Evidence
5th Sentence- POV
6th Sentence- Additional Document
Additional Writing Resources
• My Website- martinworldhistory.weebly.com
– Under AP Links/Materials
– Essay Writers Handbook
• The College Board Websitehttp://apcentral.collegeboard.com/apc/memb
ers/exam/exam_information/216943.html