Negotiating Leadership:
A Better Life through Conflict
Jeff Hoffman
Mary Kluz
February 28, 2013
1
Session purposes and objectives

Raise awareness
 Self-awareness
(skills and assumptions)
 Awareness of ways to deal with conflict

Provide concepts to help you deal with
conflict
 Framework

for negotiation
Develop practical ideas for managing
conflict
 Time
to practice some negotiation skills
 Opportunity to learn from colleagues
2
Conflict and Negotiation
I’ve been doing it all my life!
3
Let’s make a deal…
4
A Seven Element Framework
Commitments
Communication
Interests
If “YES”
Options
If “NO”
Relationship
Criteria
Alternatives
Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved
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Relationship
Separate the people from the problem/substance
people issues
substantive issues
emotions
money
trust
schedules
respect



Deal with each on
its own merits
terms and conditions
Use “people” techniques, like listening, to deal with people
Use problem-solving techniques, like identifying interests and
options, on substance
Attack the problem, not the people
6
Communication
Facilitate Communication that fosters mutual learning

A learning
conversation
helps us put the
pieces together.
We each have a part of the
complete picture in our heads.
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Communication

Use communication techniques
that foster learning
 Listen
actively
 Balance advocacy with inquiry
 Explain your reasoning, inquire into
theirs
 Acknowledge and deal with partisan
perceptions
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Interests
Dig for the interests that lie behind the demands.
Fears
Hopes
Needs
Concerns

People often present their position, favorable to
their interests, without giving the feelings or
reasoning behind that position.
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Interests
Dig for the interests that lie behind the demands.
Fears
Hopes
Needs
Concerns



Ask: Why is that? What do you hope for? What would be
wrong with…? Are you afraid something will happen?
Solicit their advice, “what would you do?” to start the
conversation
Consider starting with a joint exploration of interests
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Options

Try brainstorming:
 No
ideas rejected or criticized
 No commitments
 All ideas are recorded, but NOT who suggested them
 Generate as many creative ideas as possible
Instead of just one idea…
You first want to invent lots of creative ideas to choose from.
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Criteria
People want to feel they’re being treated fairly.

Criteria are used to ensure that we are treated
fairly, and we are treating others fairly.
criteria to persuade – they are the means by
which any agreement can be justified to constituents.
 Try the test of reciprocity
 Use criteria to reconcile conflicting interests
 Look for fair standards, precedents, procedures or
principles to help resolve disagreements
 Use
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It’s decision time!

Alternatives
 An
option you pursue WITHOUT the
agreement of the other party

Commitments
 An
option you pursue WITH the agreement of
the other party
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Alternatives
Know
your
Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement
BATNA
X



Reality-test their BATNA if you think it is worse than they
think
Disclose your BATNA if it is better than they think
Warn, don’t threaten


“if we don’t reach agreement, then it’s in my best interest to…
VS. “unless you give in, I’ll hurt you by…
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Commitments
Make wise commitments at the end of the process

Talk first, decide later



Wise commitments are


To start, make a joint commitment to the process
Explore interests, options, etc before committing to substance
Operational, implementable and mutually understood
Give the other party a stake in the outcome by including
them in the process

Commitment grows by being involved in the who process
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A Seven Element Framework
Commitments
Communication
Interests
If “YES”
Options
If “NO”
Relationship
Criteria
Alternatives
Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved
16
Negotiation Review

What did your partner do or say that
worked well in this negotiation?
 (each

person share observations with partner)
Joint Discussion
 What
caused us difficulty?
 What
helped us make progress?
 What
might we do differently in the future?
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Follow-up Reflections for Group

How did my preparation impact on the
negotiation? Insights for future?

What hindered or helped establish a
working relationship?

How did I handle the other 6 elements in
the negotiation?

Did we achieve a good outcome? How,
and how do you know?
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References

Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce
Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating
Agreement Without Giving In. New York,
N.Y.: Penguin Books, 1991.

Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila
Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to
Discuss What Matters Most. New York,
N.Y: Penguin Books, 2000.
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