Welcome to
Bob Heavers
bob@prioritydenver.com
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The Success Model
LEADS TO
Understanding
Behavior and
Appropriate Responses
INTERPERSONAL
EFFECTIVENESS
LEADS TO
SUCCESS
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Two Indisputable Truths
We need each other.
What we give to others,
unconditionally, will always come
back in equal or greater
proportion.
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People Skills
What adjectives would you use to
describe the people who seem to
get under your skin most quickly …
the ones you find it hardest to
tolerate?
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People Skills
When it comes to the way you
interact with other people, what
would you like to be able to do
better?
What would other people like to see
you do better?
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Definitions
Behavior — What you say (verbal) and do (non-verbal)
Interpersonal Behavior — What you say and do when interacting
with one or more people
SOCIAL STYLEsm— A particular pattern of actions that others
can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior
Personality — The combination of ideas, values, hopes, dreams,
attitudes, abilities, as well as the behavior that others can observe
that encompasses everything a person is
Observable
Behavior
Personality
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Assertiveness
Asking
with Some
Telling
ASKS
D
More
Asking
C
More
Telling
B
A
TELLS
Telling
with Some
Asking
A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others
perceive a person as tending to ask or tell in interactions with
others.
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Responsiveness
CONTROLS
More
Controlling
1
2
Emoting
With Some
Controlling
Controlling
with Some
Emoting
A dimension of behavior that
measures the degree to which others
perceive a person as tending to
control or display their feelings and
emotions when interacting.
3
4
More
Emoting
EMOTES
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Analytical
Serious
Exacting
Indecisive
Logical
CONTROLS
SOCIAL STYLE Model
Driving
Independent
Formal
Practical
Dominating
TELLS
ASKS
EMOTES
Amiable
Dependable
Supportive
Pliable
Open
TM
Expressive
Animated
Forceful
Opinionated
Impulsive
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Definitions
Style Need — The general goal of each style,
indicated by the observed behaviors associated
with that particular SOCIAL STYLE Position.
Style Orientation — The typical/observed
behavior of each SOCIAL STYLE, used to
obtain the style need.
Style Growth Action — Those behaviors that
are infrequently used in favor of the more
preferred behaviors of each style; viewed by
others as the greatest weakness of that particular
style. Not taking our style growth action can
lead to unproductive interpersonal relationships.
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Definitions
Backup Behavior
An exaggerated form of style behaviors
used by a person to reduce tension
within the relationship that caused
the tension.
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Tension Productivity
Model
Appropriate
Level of Tension
=
PRODUCTIVITY
HIGH
Low Level
of Tension
=
High
Productivity
Low
Productivity
High Level
of Tension
=
Tension — A force which
stimulates activity.
Low
Productivity
LOW
LOW
TENSION
HIGH
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Backup Behavior Model
AVOIDS
AUTOCRATIC
Analytical
BACKUP
CONTROLS
BACKUP
ASKS
BACKUP
ACQUIESCES
TELLS
EMOTES
Amiable
Driving
Backup Behavior —
An exaggerated form
of style behaviors used
by a person to reduce
tension within the
relationship that
caused the tension.
Expressive
BACKUP
ATTACKS
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Analytical
Need: To Be Right
Orientation: Thinking
Growth Action: To Declare
CONTROLS
Key Characteristics of the Social
Styles
Driving
Need: Results
Orientation: Action
Growth Action: To Listen
TELLS
ASKS
Expressive
Amiable
EMOTES
Need: Personal Security
Orientation: Relationships
Growth Action: To Initiate
Need: Personal Approval
Orientation: Spontaneity
Growth Action: To Check
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What are the Pluses and
the Minuses of each Social Style?
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SOCIAL STYLE Model
ANALYTICAL
DRIVING
C
1
CONTROLS
D
TM
B
A
1
2
2
ASKS
TELLS
3
3
D
AMIABLE
C
EMOTES
4
4
B
A
EXPRESSIVE
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Versatility
Behaviors
Seen as
Focusing on
My Tension
W
Low
Versatility
Behaviors
Seen as
Focusing on
Others’ Tension
X
Y
Z
High
Versatility
Versatility — A measure of the level of social endorsement
accorded to an individual by others.
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Four Sources of
Social Endorsement
APPROPRIATE USE OF
IMAGE
PRESENTATION
COMPETENCE
FEEDBACK
Leads to
SOCIAL ENDORSEMENT
(Versatility)
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Steps for Earning Endorsement
1. Know Yourself
2. Control Yourself
3. Know Others
4. Do Something for Others
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Under-The-Bracket Model
B
A
Under-the-Bracket
Behavior
(Say/Do)
Traits
Honest
Intelligent
Arrogant
Motivated
Self-Centered
Sincere
Critical
C
Judgments
I like him.
He annoys me.
She interests me.
He irritates me.
I distrust her.
I hate him.
I trust him.
Observable Behavior
Say
Do
Quiet - Loud
Slower-paced - Faster-paced
Facially controlled - Facially animated
Monotone voice - Inflected voice
Indirect eye contact - Direct eye contact
Casual posture - Rigid posture
Leans back - Leans forward
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· Monotone
· Task Subjects
· Facts/Data
· Rigid Posture
· Inflection
· People Subjects
· Opinions/Stories
· Casual Posture
· Less Hand
Movement
· Controlled Facial
Expressions
TELLS
EMOTES
· Slower Pace
· Fewer Statements
· Non-directive/
Relaxed Use of
ASKS
Hands
· Quieter Volume
· Leans Back
· Indirect Eye Contact
CONTROLS
Under-The-Bracket Behaviors
· Faster Pace
· More Statements
· Directive Use of
Hands/Points for
Emphasis
· Louder Volume
· Leans Forward
· Direct Eye Contact
· More Hand
Movement
· Animated Facial
Expressions
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Rules for Observing Style
1. Avoid trying to define a style too quickly.
2. Get out of the way.
3. Learn to observe more accurately and
describe what a person does without making
early “good,” “bad” or “why” judgments.
4. Separate style clues from assigned authority
or role.
5. Moderate stress clarifies style.
6. Set the stage for the person being observed.
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The PRO Strategy
1. Acknowledge other’s style NEED,
2. Encourage other’s style ORIENTATION,
3. Take your style GROWTH ACTION,
4. Help others take their GROWTH ACTION.
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My Pro-Action Plan
Name of other person: ___________________________________________________________
Other’s Style:
Driving
Expressive
Amiable
Results
Personal
Approval
Personal
Security
Other’s
Orientation:
Action
Spontaneity Relationships Thinking
My Growth
Action:
To Listen
To Check
To Initiate
To Declare
Other’s
Growth Action:
To Listen
To Check
To Initiate
To Declare
Other’s Need:
Analytical
To Be Right
I will acknowledge his/her style need by: ____________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
I will encourage his/her style orientation by: _________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
I will take my growth action by: ___________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
I will help him/her take his/her growth action by: _____________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
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