HYGIENE AND DATING
WITH AN AUTISM
SPECTRUM DISORDER
Heidi Ross
SSW
Case Manager/Coach
ScenicView Academy
Introductions
Dating with an Autism Spectrum Disorder
Things they are struggling with
• Understanding non-verbal communication
• When it’s appropriate to approach someone
• Understanding how to introduce themselves
• What to say when you are first meeting someone
• Socially appropriate conversation ideas
• Sharing to much information
• Presenting themselves in a socially appropriate way
Black and White Thinking
• We live in a world where we all break the “rules”
• Because of Black and White thinking someone who has an Autism
Spectrum Disorder doesn’t understand the world around them.
For example: If we say you should never burp in public, then
why do people burp in public sometimes?
• A Benefit to teaching someone with Black and White thinking is
you can be very honest with them if you have already developed a
relationship with them.
Avoiding the fantasy
• Because of a desire to form relationships, but the difficulty that desire presents,
many of adults and adolescents enjoy movies, video games, online gaming, and
sometimes chatting online or by phone.
• Most of these hobbies have them believing in the falling in love at first sight or
other unrealistic fantasy.
• Teach about how to build a relationship starting with friendship.
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence,
sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than
perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” Ann Landers
Meet
Develop
Friendship/
Get to know
each other
Start to
date
Frequency of 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 100th dates.
120
100
80
60
40
20
0
First
Date
2nd
Date
3rd
Date
4th
Date
100th
Date
Continue to
develop
relationship
Long
term
Love/
Marriage
Hygiene
•Teaching the facts. Being very explicit.
Describing how to clean and what to clean.
•Sensory issues getting
in the way.
Finding motivation.
Other Dating Tips
• Sometimes the internet is a good place for adults to meet
someone because they can navigate a conversation online
better than in person.
• Teaching how to be safe while on the internet. Letting them
know that things aren’t always as they seem.
• Missing the subtext: Sarcasm is often lost when talking with
someone with ASD.
• Using examples of things they already understand to teach them
about dating. Ex: Help them see how a job interview is a lot like
dating
• Teaching Chivalry and how to be a lady.
Questions?