Dealing with Difficult People
Communication Skills
Choices When Dealing with People
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Stay and do nothing
Leave
Change your attitude
Change your behavior
Communication Skills
Principles of Effective Communication
• Have a direction
• Pay attention to the pattern of the
communication
• Be flexible
• Commit to a solution
Influence Others and Maximize
Results
The Platinum Rule
“Do unto others as they want to be
done unto.”
Identify Your Communication Style
and Understand Others
Task Focused
Get It Right
Get It Done
Passive
Aggressive
Get Along
Get Appreciated
People Focused
Table Activity
Identify Your Communication Type
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Identify 2 strengths of that style
Identify 2 weaknesses of that style
Be prepared to report out in 10 min
“Get It Done”
Behavior
Characteristics
• Focus on tasks
• Intend to “get it done”
• Focused, direct,
blunt
• Communicate
directly & to the point
“Get It Done”
Strengths
• Decisive
• Get Things Done
• Confident
“Get It Done”
Weaknesses
• Intimidate
• Alienate people
• Use force instead of cooperation
“Get It Done”
When under pressure, “Get It Done”
people tend to
• Raise their voice
• Bully & take pot shots at others
• Behave arrogantly
“Get It Done”
Don'ts
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Spend too much time on one issue
Come in unprepared
Sit “on the fence” (“No” is acceptable)
Show a lack of focus
“Get It Done”
Do’s
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Get to the point
Businesslike approach
Be task-oriented
Understand and support their goals
Dealing with EXTREME “Get It Done”
Behavior
TANKS
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
Stand your ground: Hold your position
• Tanks don’t stop for those they
don’t respect
• Might need to state “Excuse me I
haven’t finished” to interrupt the
interruptions
• Be calm until tirade runs down
Focus on the bottom line – look at the
underlying problem
Offer peace with honor
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior
KNOW-IT-ALLS
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
• Know your stuff – be prepared if possible
• Need to open your mind to new ideas with
them
• Backtrack with respect
• Present alternative viewpoints indirectly –
plant seeds since you can’t tell them what
to do
• Direct the “Know-It-All” into a mentoring
opportunity
“Get It Right”
Behavior
Characteristics
• Focus on tasks
• Intend to “get it right”
• Pay attention to details,
think systematically
• Need to be correct
• Communicate indirectly
and detailed
“Get It Right”
Strengths
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Accurate
Fact finder
Precise
Organized
“Get It Right”
Weaknesses
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Stubborn
Boring
Unimaginative
Change Stifler
“Get It Right”
When Under Pressure
(i.e. when not feeling like they are getting it
right)
“Get It Right” people tend to
• Become silent
• Flee or withdraw
• Exhibit negative behavior
“Get It Right”
Don’ts
Do’s
• Show lack of
attention to detail
• Be inconsistent
• Be disorganized
• Be overly emotional
• Know your stuff
• Schedule time –
make an
appointment
• Use facts, logic,
structure
• Proceed step-by-step
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right”
Behavior
NO PEOPLE
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
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Let them voice concerns and use them as
a resource
Clarify to reduce generalizations
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior
COMPLAINERS
Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
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Listen carefully to their areas for concern
Direct efforts toward a solution
Move them into the “problem-solving”
mode step-by-step
Provide information that answers “who,
what, where, why and how”
“Get Appreciated”
Behavior
Characteristics
• Focus on people
• Intend to “get
appreciated”
• Display creativity,
warmth, charisma, and
energy
• Communicate directly
and elaborately
“Get Appreciated”
Strengths
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People-oriented
Persuasive
Verbal skills
Optimistic
Weaknesses
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Egotistical
Lack follow through
Flakey
Disorganized
“Get Appreciated”
When “Under Pressure”
• Talk more loudly and quickly
• Throw tantrums
• Exaggerate
“Get Appreciated”
Don’ts
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Be rigid in thinking (these are free spirits!)
Show a lack of challenge
Give too many details
Follow the rules blindly
“Get Appreciated”
Do’s
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Allow flexibility
Be enthusiastic
Let them talk
Use demonstrations (visual people)
Dealing with Extreme “Get Appreciated”
Behavior
THINK THEY KNOW-IT-ALL PEOPLE
Dealing with Extreme “Get Appreciated”
Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
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Ask for specifics
Tell it like it is
Give credit when due
Give them an out
Use third-party documentation
“Get Along”
Behavior
Characteristics
• Focus on people
• Intend to “get along”
• Behave in an agreeable,
personable, friendly,
caring and helpful
manner
• Need to be liked
• Communicate indirectly
and considerately
“Get Along”
Strengths
Weaknesses
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Likeable
Loyal
Team Player
Patient
Indecisive
Waste Time
Overly Emotional
Illogical Decisions
“Get Along”
When “Under Pressure”
• Submit
• Accommodate
• Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior
“Get Along”
Don’ts
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Ignore feelings
Force a decision
Be too intense or formal
Threaten
Fail to recognize the “people” aspect
“Get Along”
Do’s
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Be casual and sincere
Slow down and listen
Make honesty safe
Set goals
Build it up – strengthen the relationship
Dealing with Extreme “Get Along” Behavior
“YES” PEOPLE
Dealing with Extreme “Get Along” Behavior
Best Ways to Communicate
• Encourage honesty
– Make honesty safe
• Assist in making realistic commitments
• Ensure commitments – may need a
little micro-managing
• Strengthen the relationship – need
people/people time
Dealing with Difficult Behavior
Activity
Volunteer – 1 per table
Your team is in charge of planning the next
Annual State Meeting
10 min to plan the “ideal” day