Diakonos Counseling
Essential Elements for Developing a
Healthy Marriage
Essential Elements for Developing a Healthy
Marriage
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“However, each of you also must love his wife
as he loves himself, and the wife must respect
her husband.” NIV
Ephesians 5:33
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Dr. David Olson says “Change is inevitable but
growth is intentional. We seriously overestimate what we can accomplish in one day’s
time, and we seriously under-estimate what we
can accomplish in one year’s time.
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Romans chapter 12
FOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL CORE ISSUES
THAT IMPACT CHANGE
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Self-Talk Proficiency
Mood Management
Behavior Modification
Stress Resistance
THREE POWERFUL EMOTIONS THAT
IMPACT CHANGE
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Love
Fear
Anger
TOOLS IN THE DEVIL’S WORKSHOP
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Low-Self-Esteem
Perfectionism
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
HARLEY’S FOUR LOVE BUSTERS
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Angry Outbursts
Disrespectful Judgements
Selfish Demands
Thoughtless Decisions
Dr. Richard Harley
THE RELATIONSHIP CLOCK
 Love
is a Choice
Robert Hemfelt Ed.D. - Frank Minirth M.D. - Paul Meier M.D.
FOUR DYNAMICS THAT WILL DESTROY A
MARRIAGE
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Escalation
Invalidation
Withdrawal and Avoidance
Negative Interpretations
Fighting for Your Marriage
Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan L. Blumberg
THE COMMUNICATION-CONSIDERATION
QUADRANT
COMMUNICATION: THE FOUR BASIC
KEYS TO SUCCESSFULLY
COMMUNICATING WITH ANYONE
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Timing
Tone
Content
Non-verbal
COMMUNICATION: TAKING THE RIGHT
STEPS IN THE RIGHT ORDER
Step 1: Conversations for Understanding
 Step 2: Conversations for Decisions
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COMMUNICATION: REACHING FOR
LEVELS OF EXCELLENCE
Level 5…..PRN
Level 4…..Feeling
Level 3…..Belief
Level 2…..Fact
Level 1…..Cliché
BELIEVE THE EXPERTS
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Gary Smalley says that anger has 3 outlets. 1. Stuff it. 2. Spew it. 3.
Study it. From Anger To Intimacy
Josh McDowell has said, “Rules and expectations without a relationship
will equal rebellion.”
James Dobson said “The most vulnerable victims of family instability are
the children.” Love Must Be Tough
Carl Rogers UPR Unconditional Positive Regard
Stephen Covey Habit #5: “Seek First to Understand Then to be
Understood”
John Gottman NSO Negative Sentiment Over-ride
Leslie Vernick “Reacting versus Responding” Chapter 3 of How To Act
Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong
Emerson Eggerichs “The Crazy Cycle” Love and Respect
Richard Harley “The Love Bank” His Needs, Her Needs
Gary Chapman Chapter 3 “Falling In Love” “The in-love experience
does not focus on our own growth nor on the growth and development of
the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived.” The
Five Love Languages
THE PATHOLOGY PROBLEM
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Depression
Anxiety
Perfectionism
Anger
PTSD
Low Self-Esteem
Personality Disorder
Addiction
Medical
Diakonos Counseling
Contact Info:
4200 Little Blue Parkway, Ste 360
Independence, MO 64057
Phone: 816-373-9240
Website: www.DiakonosCounseling.com
Facebook: Diakonos Counseling
Thank you!