How NOT to write a PhD thesis
Professor Michael Balfour
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
Doubt
…..and
humiliation
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
1. Failure to understand that doing a PhD is a
grounded training in obsessive-compulsive
disorder (OCD)
OCD categories:
Washers are afraid of contamination. They usually
have cleaning or hand-washing compulsions.
Doubters and sinners are afraid that if
everything isn’t perfect or done just right
something terrible will happen or they will be
punished.
Counters and arrangers are obsessed with order
and symmetry. They may have superstitions about
certain numbers, colors, or arrangements.
Hoarders fear that something bad will happen if they
throw anything away. They compulsively hoard
things that they don’t need or use.
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
2. Make the topic of the
thesis too large
The funnel effect…..
From general to
specific…limits geography,
history and timelines, specific
populations.
Data anxiety….I won’t have
enough so I’ll do enough for 5
PhDs….!
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
3. Use discourse, ideology,
signifier, signified,
interpellation,
postmodernism,
structuralism, poststructuralism or
deconstruction WITHOUT
reading the complete
works of Foucault,
Althusser, Saussure,
Baudrillard or Derrida
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
4. Submit an
incomplete, poorly formatted bibliography
•Examiners are OCD just like you – they often start from the back
•Absences of key theorists; in-text citations with no match in the
bibliography; excess references with no mention in the text
•5 errors and you may get a note to ‘tidy up’, over 10 and you may get
minor changes, over 20 and you have one grumpy, suspicious assessor!
‘A bibliography is not just a bibliography: it is a canary in the doctoral mine’
(Brabazon, 2013)
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
5. Use phrases such as “some
academics” or “all the
literature”
without mitigating statements
or references.
‘Some PhD students think
that generalisations are ok,
most supervisors or
examiners do not’.
Punishment:
Now do 10 press ups or find
20 references to
support your statement.
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
6. Chasing originality
Assume something you are
doing is new because you
have not read enough to
know that an academic
wrote a book on it 20 years
ago.
Over readers and under
readers
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
7. Write an abstract that is
vague, incoherent and
doesn’t spell out what the
research is.
• Don’t bother to sign post
chapters e.g. top and tail
• You have to live in a high
rise to practice your elevator
pitch…
Try: Wordle
http://www.wordle.net
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
8. Leave spalling mistakes in the script
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
9.Submit a PhD with a short
introduction or conclusion
The ‘just right’ principle
After the bibliography the
conclusion and introduction
are the first thing an assessor
may read (yes, in that order).
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
10. Forget or neglect
your support network
How NOT to write a PhD thesis
Summary
1. Failure to understand that a doing a PhD is a grounded training into how to develop an
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
2. Make the topic of the thesis too large
3. Use discourse, ideology, signifier, signified, interpellation, postmodernism, structuralism,
post-structuralism or deconstruction without reading the complete works of Foucault,
Althusser, Saussure, Baudrillard or Derrida
4. Submit an incomplete, poorly formatted bibliography
5. Use phrases such as “some academics” or “all the literature”
without mitigating statements or references.
6. Chase originality by over reading OR under reading
7. Write an abstract that is vague, incoherent and doesn’t spell out what the research is.
8. Leave spalling mistakes in the script
9.Submit a PhD with a short introduction or conclusion
10. Forget or neglect your support network