Chapter 11
Emotional and Social
Development from 1 to 3
Chapter Objectives
• IDENTIFY the factors that contribute to a child’s
emotional development
• DESCRIBE six specific emotions children ages 18
months to 3-years show
• LIST the four signs of a healthy relationship
between parents and a child
• IDENTIFY four ways to help children get adequate
sleep
• COMPARE AND CONTRAST parallel play and
cooperative play
• LIST six ways to help children develop social skills
• EXPLAIN the purpose of guidance
Emotional Development
from 1 to 3
Chapter 11.1
Emotional Patterns
• Emotional development tends
to go in cycles throughout
childhood
▫ Especially noticeable during
this age group
• New emotions are developed
• Periods of frustration and
rebellion
▫ Periods of happiness,
calmness, and stability
Individual Differences
• There are general patterns to how children
develop emotionally
• Very noticeable between 1st and 3rd birthdays
• Emotional development depends on 2 factors
▫ The child’s experiences
▫ The child’s temperament
 Temperament is the way a child reacts to other
people and events
Eighteen (18) Months
• Self-centered
▫ Refers to the thinking about
one’s own needs and wants
and not those of others
• Caregivers begin teaching a
child that some desires will not
be met right away
• Spoken instructions are not
always successful for children
at this age
▫ “No” is a favorite word
18 Months- Negativism
• Negativism is normal for a
young toddler
▫ Negativism means doing the
opposite of what others want
▫ Number of causes
 The desire for independence
 Children want the chance to
make the decision
 Frustration
 Toddlers want to do more
than their bodies will allow
 The realizations of being a
separate person
 Exciting and frightening
 Still want a tight bond with
caregivers
▫ Battle of Wills between parents
and caregivers
▫ Preventing conflicts
 Eliminate as many restrictions
 Put fragile objects away
instead of saying “don’t
touch”
18 Months- Positive Guidance
• Positive guidance can help
deal with a child that is
negative
▫ Give choices
 “Which will you pick up
first- the books or the toys?”
▫ Redirect the Child
 Distract the child from the
issue that is causing the
negative response
 EX: Julia was having trouble
stacking blocks. Mom asked
if she wanted to read a book
▫ Encourage Talking
 “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t
you like that?”
18 Months-Temper Tantrums
• Temper tantrum is when a child
releases anger or frustration by
▫
▫
▫
▫
screaming
crying
kicking and pounding
sometimes holding their breath
• Sometimes occur till ages 3 or 4
• Try to help the child find a
calmer way of expressing
feelings
• Handling Tantrums
▫ Distract the child with a toy or
pointing out an activity
elsewhere
▫ One at home? Try to ignore it
▫ One in public? Take the child
to a quiet spot to cool down
▫ Remain calm and speak quietly
but firmly
▫ Acknowledge the child’s
feelings and restate why the
child’s demands cannot be met
▫ Set limits
▫ Keep toddlers from hurting
themselves or others
▫ Praise the child for calming
down after
2 Years
• Less at odds with the world
than 18-month-olds
• Speech and motor skills have
improved
• Understands more
• Able to wait longer for various
needs to be met
• Express love and affection
freely
• Seeks approval and praise
• Easier to reason with
• Get along better with parents
and caregivers
• More outgoing and friendly
• Less self-centered
2½ Year Olds
• This period may seem more
difficult than the 18-monthold stage
• Learning so much that they
become overwhelmed
▫ Ability to understand exceeds
their physical ability to
complete tasks
▫ EX: A child wants to stack
blocks high but might
accidentally knock them
down prior to finishing the
structure
• Struggle with immaturity and
need for independence
• Sensitive about being bossed,
shown, helped, or directed
• Stubborn, dominant, and
demanding
• Moods change rapidly
• Need for consistency
▫ Routines
• Feel both independent and
dependent
• Need flexible limits rather
than hard rules
3 Years Old
• Happier than 2-1/2 year olds
• Physically more capable
▫ Less frustrated
• More willing to take directions
• Modify their behavior for
praise and affection
• Few temper tantrums
• Love to talk
▫ Often will tell caregivers
about their entire day
▫ Talks to toys, playmates, and
imaginary friends
3½ Year Olds
• Self-confident as a 3 year old
but becomes very insecure at
3-1/2
• Fears are common at this age
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▫
▫
▫
Afraid of the dark
Imaginary monsters
Strangers
Loud Noises
• Emotional tension and
insecurity shows in physical
ways to self-sooth
▫ Sucking thumbs
▫ Biting nails
• Try to show security by
controlling their environment
• May issue demands
▫ “I want to sit on the floor and
eat lunch”
▫ “Talk to me!”
Specific Emotions-Anger
• Normal emotion
• A child’s way of reacting to frustration
▫ Changes over the years
▫ Not as violent
• Target of a child’s anger changes in
these years as well
▫ 18-month-old does not direct anger at
an object or person
▫ 2-3 year olds will hold a person or object
responsible for their frustration
• Toddlers can become aggressive
• Use these tips
▫
▫
▫
▫
Use words
Speak calmly
Take deep breaths
Have angry child rest for a while
• Angry outbursts are more frequent in
insecure and anxious children
Specific Emotions-Fear
• Children will have specific fears
at different times
• Some fears are useful in keeping
children away from dangerous
situations
• Other fears must be overcome in
order to develop healthy
▫ Phobias are unexplainable and
illogical fears
 Fear of heights or public
speaking
 Develop in children that are
shy and withdrawn
▫ Adults can pass phobias down
• Separation anxiety is the fear of
being away from a parent,
familiar caregivers, or the
normal environment
• Tips to deal with fear:
▫ Offer support and
understanding
▫ Encourage children to talk
about their fears
▫ Sometimes its best to accept
the fear and avoid trying to
force the child to confront it
▫ Read books about children
having fears
▫ Make unfamiliar situations
more secure
▫ Teach the child how to
control frightening situations
Specific Emotions-Jealousy
• Emotion that usually crops up
during the child’s 2nd year
• Reaches its peak around age 3
▫ A child may show resentment
of affection between parents
because the child cannot
understand that parents have
love that can go all around
• Sibling rivalry is the competition
between brothers and sisters for
parent’s affection and attention
▫ Some become jealous when a
new baby is born
▫ May revert to old ways or act
out
• Tips for dealing with sibling
rivalry
▫ Make sure each child feels love
and appreciation
▫ Set aside one-on-one time with
each child
▫ Avoid making comments that
compare children
▫ Let the children take turns in
choosing activities
▫ Make it clear that you will not
accept one child tattling to get
another one in trouble
▫ Talk to children about their
feelings of jealousy
Specific Emotions- Love, Affection,
and Empathy
• Love and affection feelings are
expressed more clearly during
this stage
• Empathy is the ability to
understand how another
person feels
▫ Usually develops between 12
and 18 months
▫ A child may talk to another
child that is unhappy
▫ If a child does something to
hurt another child, talk to the
child by taking an active
approach
Emotional Adjustment
• Children’s emotional development needs to be
assessed to make sure they are on the right track.
But how?
▫ Signs that a child has a healthy relationship between
his or her parents
 Seeks approval or praise
 Turns to parents and caregivers for comfort and help
 Tells caregivers about significant events so they can share
their joy and sorrow
 Accepts limits and discipline without too much resistance
▫ Also look at a child’s relationship with siblings
Promote Positive Self-Concept
• Self-concept is how people see themselves
▫ Different from self-esteem; self-esteem is how highly
you value yourself
• Children form self-concept in response to the
actions, attitudes, and comments of others
• Young children believe what others say about them
• To build positive self-concept
▫ Do not talk negatively to children (EX: telling them
they are bad)
▫ Mastery of skills
 Give toddlers many chances to explore their world
Discourage Negative Behavior
• Some parents worry that correcting a child’s
behavior will negatively affect their self-concept.
WRONG.
• By teaching and praising young children for
appropriate behaviors, self-concept is enhanced
• Effective ways to discourage negative behavior:
▫ Explore feelings
 Read stories to a child or watch children’s videos together
▫ Acknowledge feelings
 When a playmate takes a toy, hitting or grabbing is a
natural response
 Offer alternative explanations to deter negative behavior
▫ Give Choices
Sleep and Emotional Behavior
• Sleep disturbances are normal
for this age group
▫ Some have trouble falling
asleep or staying asleep
• Fears are a frequent cause of
sleep problems
▫ Bedtime routines and a
reminder that a parent is
close by
Importance of Sleep
Adequate Sleep
Sleep Cycles
• Sleep is essential to good
physical and emotional health
• Sleep deprived means lacking
adequate sleep
▫ Affects a child’s
temperament
▫ Ability to complete simple
tasks
▫ Less alert, inattentive, and
even hyperactive
• 12-14 hours of sleep
• REM sleep is a sleep cycle
characterized by rapid eye
movement
▫ Light sleep during which
dreams occur
• NREM sleep is a cycle of sleep in
which rapid eye movement does
not occur
▫ Deep sleep
• Children are more likely to wake
during REM sleep
• Newborns have a short sleep
cycle and can go through an
entire cycle of REM and NREM
in about an hour
Prevent Sleep Deprivation
• Determine a child’s best
bedtime
• Limit toys in the bed
• Establish a bedtime routine
• Keep bedtime pleasant
Social Development
from 1-3
Chapter 11.2
General Social Patterns
• Socialization is the process of
learning to get along with
others
▫ Skills stay with them
throughout their lives
• Individual differences may
influence when, and in what
order social skills are learned
18 Months
• Some independence from
family
• Closest relationships continue
to be those with their families
• Toddlers need to learn about
the outside world
▫ Other opportunities with
children
• Do not really interact with one
another much
▫ Parallel Play is when children
play near but not actually
with each other
• Seem to treat other people
more as objects than humans
• Satisfying strong desires
without regard with those that
may interfere
▫ Conflicts over toys that result
in screaming, hitting, biting,
or hair pulling
• Can understand that their
actions have consequences
2 Years
• Especially good at
understanding and interacting
with main caregivers
• Can read caregivers moods
• Able to communicate well with
others
• Fun playing with someone else
• Engage in parallel play
▫ Idea of sharing and taking
turns
• Like to please other people
2 ½ Year Olds
• Negativism carries over to
social development
▫ May refuse to do something
for one person but will do
that task for another
• Begin to learn about the rights
of others
• Social play is still parallel and
works best with only two
children
• Frequent but quick fights
during play
3 Years Old
• Will share, help, or do things
another person’s way just to
please them
• Cooperative Play is a type of
play in which children play
and interact with one another
• Work together in small groups
• Caregivers are still important
but are no longer all-powerful
in children’s social lives
3 ½ Year Olds
• Children’s play becomes more
complex and includes more
conversation
▫ Disagreements with
playmates occur less often
• Use several different strategies
to resolve conflicts
• Increased ability to evaluate
friendships
▫ “I don’t like Abby to come
here. She doesn’t play nice”
• Take more notice of what
others are like
▫ Start to compare themselves
with other children
Social Developmental Milestones
Age
Developmental Milestone
1 Year
Plays alone but near others, dislikes sharing, desires approval,
fears some strangers
2 Years
Engages in parallel play, plays simple games with others,
bosses other children, says “Please” if prompted
3 Years
Engages in some cooperative play, takes turns, likes to help,
shows affection
Making Friends
• Important and normal to social development
• A child who is comfortable with others and usually
develop normally
▫ If a child is unable or unwilling to make friends, its
important to look closer and discover the cause and
take steps to help
• Need contact with other people
▫ This is how they learn to socialize
• When young children spend most of their time with
adults, they don’t learn how to connect to children
their age
▫ Need to learn the rough-and-tumble friendship of
other children
Social Skills
• Establish a basic set of rules to guide social behavior
▫ “No throwing toys” or “Don’t hit people”
• Model good social skills
• Help children understand and respect others’ feelings
▫ Show a child pictures of different expressions and ask the
child to guess how they are feeling
• Show respect for other people’s belongings
▫ “We shouldn’t touch grandma’s vase. If it breaks she would
be sad”
• Show children how to use words rather than physically
striking out
• Help children learn specific social skills
▫ How to share toys or taking turns
Imaginary Friends
• Perfectly normal
• Can last for several months starting at 2 years
until 3 or 4 years of age
• Can be in human or animal or fantasy form
• Helps children experiment with different
feelings
• For other, the imaginary friend mirrors what the
child does
• Typically will fade away
Guiding Behavior
• Guidance means using
firmness and understanding to
help children learn selfdiscipline
▫ Self-discipline is the ability of
children to control their own
behavior
• Helps children learn how to
get along with each other and
to handle their own feelings
• Helps aid in moral
development
• Approaches:
▫ Consider the unique
personality, child’s age, stage
of development, and ability to
understand
▫ Consistency
▫ Clear rules and apply them to
all situations
1 year to 15 Months
• Distracting children and
physically removing them
from forbidden activities or
places is best for this age
▫ Cannot understand adult
reasoning
15 Months to 2 Years
• Require spoken restrictions as
well as a distraction
▫ “lets take our cars to the
backyard. The driveway is not
a safe place to play”
• A child may have to be
reminded of the restriction a
few times but will eventually
understand
2 to 3 Years
2 Years
3 Years
• Usually able to understand
spoken commands and simple
explanations
• Grasp reasoning of adults
▫ “Kerri, you need to get
dressed now because
Grandma will be here soon.
Do you need help?”
• Accept reasonable, loving
guidance more readily than
children of other ages
• Like to please
• Will remind a parent when
they are being good
▫ “Look, I put on my rain
boots today because its
raining. See my clean
shoes? I’m a good boy,
right?”
Set Limits
• Helps a child learn self-regulation and self-discipline
• State limits clearly
▫ Telling Kyle he may have a small snack does not set a clear
limit
• Setting limits includes 4 steps
▫ Show an understanding of the child’s desire
 “I know you think it is fun to draw on the wall”
▫ Set the limit and explain it
 “But you may not draw on the wall because it’s hard to clean”
▫ Acknowledge the child’s feelings
 “I know you like drawing on the walls but walls are not for
drawing”
▫ Give alternatives
 “If you want to draw, you may draw on this paper Or you can
play with your blocks.”
Encourage Independence
• Autonomy means independence
• Have realistic expectations
▫ When a child is learning to self-feed; use unbreakable
dishes
▫ When learning how to dress, choose clothes that are
easy to put on and take off
▫ Using their own towel, washcloth, or toothbrush
 Step stools in the bathroom
• Start with simple household tasks
▫ Putting away toys, simple chores (sorting and folding
laundry)
• Be patient and encourage, never forcing a child to do
something
Promote Sharing
• Helpful tips:
▫ Engage children in activities that require them to share
▫ Place them in situations where they must take turns
▫ Limit the materials available for an activity so that a
child has to share
▫ Have children take turns handing out snacks or other
classroom duties
▫ Make clear what behavior you are trying to encourage
▫ Recognize and praise a child for sharing
• Sharing is not an equal experience for all children
▫ Having an attachment to a stuffed animal
Dealing with Aggressive Behavior
• Behavior is a form of communication
▫ Inappropriate behavior shows that a child is upset
or that some need is not being met
Biting
• Children bite for different
reasons
▫ Infants don’t see the
difference between chewing
on a toy or a sibling
▫ 1 year olds may bite to
discover what happens
▫ 2 and 3 year olds may bite to
get their way
 Angry or frustrated
• Determine what is causing the
biting
▫ Teething baby?
Hitting, Kicking, and Shoving
• 2 and 3 year olds have trouble
controlling these impulses or
aggressive reactions to
emotions
▫ The part of the brain that
controls these emotions is not
yet developed
• REMINDER: Children are
self-centered so when they do
not get their way they become
angry or frustrated
To Time-Out or not to Time-Out?
• Child development experts
believe that time-outs are an
effective way to help children
understand what behaviors are
not acceptable
• Time-outs are when a child is
removed from the group and
required to spend that time in
a special area
▫ Can also be given if a toddler
is upset and its now time to
cool off