Jewish Wedding Customs
Mandated or Outdated?
4 Stages of Ancient
Jewish Marriage
Choosing of the Bride
Engagement (Erusin)
Wedding Ceremony
Wedding Celebrations
Yahshua referred to
Himself as the Bridegroom
John 3:29
Matthew 9:15
Mark 2:19-20
Luke 5:34-35
Matthew 25:1-6
Choosing The Bride
Parents were responsible for choosing appropriate spouses for
their children, and the young man and woman were expected to
accept their parents’ arrangements
Often the man would go to his father and tell Him who He wanted
to marry (Judges 14:2-3)
The father would then begin to arrange the marriage either himself
or through another male representative (Genesis 24)
Even in the time of the New Testament, this custom was still being
followed by the early believers (1 Cor 7:36)
Yahweh & Yahshua
chose the bride
John 15:16,19
2 Thessalonians 2:13
Deuteronomy 10:15
Deuteronomy 7:6-7
1 Peter 1:2
Romans 11:2
Colossians 3:12
Yahshua specifically chose the
Jewish nation and all those that
would bind themselves to His laws
and commands to be His bride.
Engagement
The process of betrothal began when the prospective groom and his father or a
close male relative came to the bride’s house to meet with her father and determine
the conditions of the marriage contract.
Once the terms of the marriage were agreed upon, the groom could formally
“propose” to his prospective bride. He would present her with a ketubah, a
beautifully decorated formal document that specified the marriage terms and stated
his intent to consecrate himself to his bride-to-be
The groom then offered her a gift of value (mohar), a possession symbolic of his
esteem for her and his willingness to sacrifice in her behalf. Often this gift was
gold, coins and/or jewellery (Genesis 24:53) (Luke 15:8-9)
The groom then poured a cup of wine for the prospective bride. Because Jewish
law stated that a woman could not be forced to marry a man distasteful to her, the
bride was ultimately allowed to choose whether to accept or reject the groom’s
proposal. If she drank the cup he offered, they were betrothed.
Engagement
The groom would formally accept his bride with another ritual statement, often
“You are set apart (or consecrated) for me according to the law of Moses and
Israel.” Interestingly, the same word for “set apart” was also used to describe a
dedicated temple; the bride was considered a temple now set apart for her
husband. From this point on, the bride would wear a veil over her hair in public to
indicate her status as a betrothed or married woman. Some believe that this is why
Shaul told women to cover their heads.
Once the bride drank from the wine cup that the groom offered her, she was bound
to the man and only a divorce could separate them. If she was with another man, it
was considered adultery even though she was still a virgin
The groom would then go back to His father’s house and there He would add on
rooms as a place for he and his bride to live after they were married.
Yahshua’s Engagement to His Bride
The Father (Yahweh) chose Israel to be a
bride for His son.
Passover was when Yahweh called the bride
out of slavery and set her apart for His Son.
The Ketubah was given outlining the
responsibilities that we have towards our
husband and what our husband will do for us.
It was called the Torah! (Exodus 34:28)
Israel repeatedly played the spiritual harlot
and did not obey the terms of the Ketubah
(Torah). (Ezekiel 16:18,28, Isaiah 23:16,
Hosea 4:15, Ezekiel 23:19, Jeremiah 2:20)
Yahshua’s Engagement to His Bride
After the Ketubah was given and
accepted, the groom could propose to
His bride. Yahshua came to do just
that. The Last Supper - Matthew
26:26 - 28
‘Communion’ is not a monthly or
weekly ritual, it is annual remembrance
of the betrothal we entered into with
Yahshua...it is Passover!
If, after we enter into this covenant with
Yahshua, we commit spiritual adultery
by trying to be like the world, we are in
serious trouble. The penalty would be
spiritual divorce or death. (Hebrews
10:26, Hosea 4:15, Leviticus 20:10)
Yahshua’s Engagement to His Bride
By His death, Yahshua fulfilled the
requirement that a bride could be
released from her marriage vow when
her betrothed dies. By His
resurrection, He made a way for us to
be married once again to Him without
breaking the law. Deut 24:1-4
The gift that Yahshua gave to His bride
was the Ruach Ha’Quodesh (Luke
24:49, Acts 1:4, Ephesians 4:8, 1 Cor
1:7, )
Yahshua promised that He would go
and prepare a place for His bride (John
14:2-3)
Wedding Ceremony
The bride had no idea of the exact day and hour that the groom would come for
her, so she always waited in expectation.
The wedding day has, for both the bride and groom, all the sanctity and solemnity
of Yom Kippur. Both will fast until after the chuppah ceremony through which time
they will seek Yahweh’s forgiveness for any past wrongdoings. Since on the day of
one's wedding Yahweh forgives the bride and groom of all their previous
transgressions, it is seen as a private Yom Kippur for the couple. www.jewishhistory.com
The bride would also mikvah on the day of her wedding as a symbol of purification
(Rev 19:7) All converts to Judaism were required to mikvah as well.
www.myjewishlearning.com
When the groom was coming, a few would run ahead and shout “the bridegroom is
coming” and the bride had a very short time to be ready to meet him
Wedding Ceremony
The Bride and groom would stand underneath a covered Chuppah. In ancient times
a tallit (prayer shawl) would be spread over the heads of the couple. This
symbolized that Yahweh Himself would be their covering. (Psalm 91:4)
The bride and groom would again drink wine to symbolize their dedication for each
other (Matthew 26:29)
The bride would wear a full veil to symbolize modesty and a focus on inward rather
than outward beauty (1 Peter 3:3)
Both the bride and the bridegroom would wear white. The bride wore a white dress
and veil (symbolizing purity) and the groom would wear a white tallit draped over
his shoulders.
The Wedding of Yahshua
We, as the bride of Yahshua, have
no idea of the day or the hour in
which our bridegroom will come for
us (Matthew 24:35-36)
Fasting precedes the wedding
(Isaiah 58:5, Joel 2:15)
We must ‘mikvah’ as part of our
being made ready for our groom
(Matt 28:19, John 4:1, Acts 2:38,
Acts 13:24)
Yahshua will come with a shout (1
Thess. 4:16)
The ‘Chuppah’ will beYahweh
Himself who will be over us (Isaiah
62:5, Zephaniah 3:17, Deut 30:9)
We will drink wine with our
bridegroom in the kingdom of
heaven (Matthew 26:29)
Our veil will be taken off when we
meet our bridegroom (Exodus
34:34, 2 Cor 3:14)
We and our bridegroom will be in
white (Rev. 1:14, Rev. 3:4-5 &18,
Rev. 4:4, Rev 7:9, Rev. 19:14)
After the Wedding
After the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom would
consummate their marriage and the groom would then present her
as his bride to the wedding guests. In ancient times, the couple
would be in the wedding chamber for 7 days before coming out.
The feasting and celebration would begin when they came out!
Yahshua is going to present
His bride to the world
(Ephesians 5:27)
There will be a huge wedding
feast! (Rev. 19:9)
How the Feasts of Yahweh factor into the
Marriage of Yahshuah
The Feast of Trumpets (Rosh Hashanah) is when some scholars believe that
Yahshua will return. Since it falls on the 1st day of the 7th month and the months are
determined by the sighting of a new moon, no man knows the day or the hour it will
begin. In Jewish thought, Rosh Hashanah is the most important judgment day, on
which all the inhabitants of the world pass for judgment before the Creator.
(Revelation 20:12)
The Feast of Tents (like the Chuppah!) (Sukkot) takes place on the 15th day of the
7th month. Seven days after the Feast of Trumpets ends. The feast lasts for 7 days,
the time that the Bride & Groom spend in the wedding chamber in ancient times.
This is a time of great joy and celebration and no hard labour is done. (Hebrews 4:3)
Modern Non-Jewish Traditions
Wedding Cakes - Began as a tradition with the Romans.
Used to be a loaf of bread broken over the
bride’s head as a symbol of male dominance
Throwing Rice -
Pagans held the simple belief that the fertility of the seeds would be transferred to the
couple. The symbolism of throwing rice holds same symbolic meaning. Beginning in the Middle Ages, rice
became a symbol of fruitfulness amongst many early peoples. The tradition of throwing of rice may also have
been a way to ward off evil spirits that hung around near the bride and groom. It may also have its origins in
the "food tossing ritual," discussed elsewhere in this article.
Bouquet Toss -
Centuries ago, brides traditionally carried with them aromatic bunches of garlic, fruit
blossoms, herbs, and grains to drive away evil spirits and symbolize prosperity. Over the years, the herbs and
grains were replaced by flowers, a sign of happiness that represented fertility and everlasting love.
Honeymoon -
The term 'honeymoon' first originated in Babylon, about 4,000 years ago. Honeymoon
came into use for the month after a wedding, when the bride's father would give the groom all the mead he
wanted. Mead is actually a honey beer, and being so, the Babylon's calendar was a lunar calendar, which is
based off the moon. They then started to call that month, the 'honey month', which we now have adapted to be
honeymoon.
Modern Non-Jewish Traditions
Wedding Rings - It was the ancient Egyptian who established the custom of placing a ring on the finger of his wife,
as a sign that he had confidence in her ability to care for his house. The Greek and Roman bridegroom often gave a ring to
the bride's father-a practice that was probably a survival of primitive bride purchase. In the second century B. C., the Roman
bride was presented with a gold ring. It was not until about 860 that the Christians used the ring in marriage ceremonies,
and then it was not the plain circlet that we now use, but a highly decorated device, engraved with symbolical figures of
doves, lyres and even of two linked hands. Such a "Heathenish" gadget was not given a hearty reception by the Church,
and for a long time its use was discouraged, though never completely abandoned.
Carrying Over the Threshold - Superstitious Western Europeans believed that a bride who tripped over the
threshold of her new home would irrevocably bring bad luck to her home and marriage. Since the husband appears to have
been immune from such happenstance, the groom carrying the bride into the home proved a good way to avoid such a
mishap altogether [source:World Wedding Traditions]. This fear of tripping appears to have its roots in ancient Roman
culture, which held a similar belief.
Points to ponder....
If Yahshua is following the ancient Jewish customs in His marriage to His bride, should
not we as believers practice the same instead of customs that originated from
paganism?
Communion is a Roman Catholic tradition but Passover is mandated...we are to
remember the covenant Yahshua made!
Adultery with the world is a serious offense! Beware of becoming like the world in
practice or looks.
There is NOTHING in the Jewish marriage model that even hints at a secret rapture
We should be following the Ketubah (Torah) and be mikvah’d in preparation for our
marriage to Yahshua
We need to watch for the arrival of our bridegroom