Revising the “Abandoned
Farmhouse” Mimic Poem
Check the Syntax
Highlight the assumption in yellow.
Highlight say/says in blue.
Highlight the subject in pink.
Highlight the prepositional phrase in
orange.
Leave added detail alone.
Remove Meaningless Words
• Scratch the following words from the poem:
• very
• really
Words That Grind in my Ear
Read each sentence. Lightly box with
pencil any word that is used more than
once within one sentence. Use a
thesaurus.
Be careful: Not all synonyms carry the
same connotations
Get Rid of 1st Grade Words
This includes any version of these words with their various
suffixes. Lightly circle with pencil any of the following:
fun
happy
sad
mad
great
good
many
hot
got
put
cold
excellent
sitting
running
walking
important
saw
wanted
bad
love
like
Imagery
Read each sentence.
Put an * next to each sentence that
puts a specific image in your mind.
The poet will then go and add more
detail, vivid verbs, and more
descriptive words to the sentences
that don’t contain an *.
Give poem back to the poet.
Adjectives Out of Order
Find nouns in the poem and add in
adjectives out of order
Regular Sentence:
She was protective of her secrets says the
locked and hidden diary under her
mattress.
Adjectives-Out-of-Order Sentence
She was a protective of her secrets
says the diary, hidden and locked,
under her mattress.
Poet’s To-Do List
• Your sentences should be in this order:
yellow, blue pink orange
If they are not, you have some rewriting to do.
• Boxed words: leave one of these repeated words,
use a thesaurus on the other
• Circled words: use a thesaurus on these words
• No*: add more detail, vivid verbs, and more
descriptive words to the sentences
• Rewrite a 2nd draft