Year 11 History Controlled Assessment
Part A: Carrying out an historical enquiry
Writing for cohesion and clarity
Historical Inquiry writing: Issues to
address in in students’ writing
• Not assuming too much knowledge on the part of the reader!
• Proper nouns - getting them right
• Avoiding the comma splice (a comma where a full-stop or
connective should be placed)
• Replacing imprecise pronouns (they, them, it…) with noun
phrases to improve explicitness and fluency
• Using connectives for organisation, cohesion and impact
• Improving paragraph or ‘point’
structure with topic and concluding
sentences
• Using a range of verbs for
analysing and reporting
1.
1. Correct the proper nouns
In 1915, David lloyd george tried to
solve the ‘munitions crisis’, he decided
to bring women in to help with the
work and lots volunteered. So, there
were problems and everyone was
annoyed about lloyd george letting
women work in factories.
2.
2. Improve the beginning, up to ‘crisis’.
There should be a full stop here, not a
comma splice.
In 1915, David Lloyd George tried to
solve the ‘munitions crisis’, he decided
to bring women in to help with the
What
work and lots volunteered. So, there
problems?
What were
munitions
problems and everyone was
crisis?
How many
annoyed about
Lloyd
George
letting
Who is
women?
DLG?
women work
in factories.
New improved sentence:
3. Create another sentence, up to ‘volunteered’. Are
the ideas in the sentences similar to those in the
first? If so, which connective could you begin with?
What source could you use?
3.
In 1915, it was the task of British Minister of
‘he decided’?
Source
Munitions, David Lloyd George, to solve
thework?
Who decided?
‘munitions crisis’, which was a chronic
shortage of shells and bullets in the British
‘the work’?
Army. He decided to bring women in to help
‘bring?’ What do
What work?
with
the work and lots volunteered. So, there
you
mean?
were problems and everyone was annoyed
about Lloyd George letting women work in
factories.
New improved sentence:
4. This is a source investigation. What does the source
show? Analysis?
4.
In 1915, it was the task of British Minister of Munitions, David Lloyd
George, to solve the ‘munitions crisis’, which was a chronic shortage of
shells and bullets in the British Army. As a result, David Lloyd George
decided to encourage women to volunteer to work in munitions factories,
which is highlighted in Source G, a painting by Edward Skinner. The
painting shows women who volunteered to build the shells and bullets
needed for the
Western
Front. This suggests that women did more than
What
problems?
Which war?
merely replace men during WWI as they are engaged in work caused by
Comparison?
the war effort. However, because it is a painting, which might have been
commissioned by the government, we have to question how accurate it is.
The purpose of the painting could be to promote women, so it may show
women undertaking more work than they actually did. So, there were
problems and everyone was annoyed about Lloyd George letting women
work in factories.
New improved sentence:
5. It’s good, but it needs a topic sentence. What
point have you made. What have you proved?
5.
In 1915, it was the task of British Minister of Munitions, David Lloyd George, to solve the ‘munitions
crisis’, which was a chronic shortage of shells and bullets in the British Army. As a result, David Lloyd
George decided to encourage women to volunteer to work in munitions factories, which is
highlighted in Source G, a painting by Edward Skinner. The painting shows women who volunteered
What do they tell
to build the shells and bullets needed for the Western Front. This suggests that women did more
us about
role
than merely replace men during WWI as they are engaged in work caused
by the the
war effort.
However, because it isAnswered
a painting, which
might have been commissionedof
by the
government, we
both
women?
have to question how accurate it is. The purpose of the painting could be to promote women, so it
interpretations?
may show women undertaking
more work than they actually did. Nonetheless, the role played by
women in munitions during WWI and WWII is similar, in that in both wars they were employed to
make shells, however, there are greater differences as women were conscripted in WWII, whereas
in WWI they volunteered. In addition, there were problems raised by trade unions and only 5000 of
the 100,000 women that volunteered initially got jobs, but eventually, Lloyd George granted equal
pay to ensure prestige of the job was not reduced and guaranteed work for returning soldiers to
satisfy trade unions and more women were employed and the munitions crisis was solved. Again,
this highlights a significant difference between attitudes towards women in the war, as the role of
women within munitions was not questioned in WWII.
Opening / Topic Sentence:
In both wars, women were heavily involved in the production of munitions. For
instance, In 1915, it was the task of British Minister of Munitions, David Lloyd
George, to solve the ‘munitions crisis’, which was a chronic shortage of shells and
bullets in the British Army. As a result, David Lloyd George decided to encourage
women to volunteer to work in munitions factories, which is highlighted in Source
G, a painting by Edward Skinner. The painting shows women who volunteered to
build the shells and bullets needed for the Western Front. This suggests that
women did more than merely replace men during WWI as they are engaged in
work caused by the war effort. However, because it is a painting, which might
have been commissioned by the government, we have to question how accurate
it is. The purpose of the painting could be to promote women, so it may show
women undertaking more work than they actually did. Nonetheless, the role
played by women in munitions during WWI and WWII is similar, in that in both
wars they were employed to make shells, however, there are greater differences
as women were conscripted in WWII, whereas in WWI they volunteered. In
addition, there were problems raised by trade unions and only 5000 of the
100,000 women that volunteered initially got jobs, but eventually, Lloyd George
granted equal pay to ensure prestige of the job was not reduced and guaranteed
work for returning soldiers to satisfy trade unions and more women were
employed and the munitions crisis was solved. Again, this highlights a significant
difference between attitudes towards women in the war, as the role of women
within munitions was not questioned in WWII.
Conclusion:
• Outline evidence that agrees that role of women was the
same in both world wars (mention sources that support
each argument)
• Outline evidence that disagrees – decide which argument
is strongest
• Repeat with the second interpretation that women
merely replaced men, possibly highlighting the scale of
WWII influence
• Highlight limitation of sources (number and variety) and
the fact that they don’t cover all aspects of war work