Essay Outline Revisited
Thesis Statement
 Thesis Statement – Answers the prompt and includes the 3
categories (claims) into which the evidence will be
organized.
 Body Paragraph (x3)
 Categories (claim) – Big picture idea that answers part of the
prompt but requires evidence to prove.
 Evidence – Specific historical examples that prove the claim that
answers the prompt.
Thesis Statement
 As Americans moved westward they faced numerous conflicts
and also opportunities, which outweighed the conflicts;
however, their movement westward had an overall negative
affect on others, such as Native Americans. (Student Example)
 As Americans moved westward they faced conflicts such as
racial discrimination and clashes with Native Americans, yet for
some, the opportunities for economic independence
outweighed the risks of those conflicts. (Refined Version)
Thesis Statement
 Being an immigrant at the turn of the century was very difficult
and stressful, due to having to deal with Ellis or Angel Island,
Americanization, and settlement houses. (Student Example)
 Immigrants at the turn of the century lived through very
stressful immigration processes and suffered pressures to
assimilate to a new culture, though many did receive aid from
multiple sources to help them cope. (Refined example)
Claim & Evidence
Claim: One of the conflicts that emerged as Americans
was
the clash
cultures
and often
1. moved
Claim:westward
One of the
conflicts
thatbetween
emerged
as Americans
moved
westward
were the
deaths
of the Americans
trying
to move
violent
and deadly
racial
discrimination.
(Revised
example)
westward. (Student example)
a. Evidence: Native Americans were slaughtered in what became
known as the Sand Creek Massacre. More than 150 people were
killed by the U.S. Army as tribes refused to give up their lands.
b. Evidence: Exodusters, African-American migrants in the west,
were lynched and murdered as they tried to settle in various
towns in the west such as __________. Many lives were lost as a
result of continued racism.
Claim & Evidence
Don’t write a report!
 Claim: Social Darwinism is the basic thought of survival of the
fittest, in a way it can justify monopolies because it says the
best companies can survive.
 Definition of Social Darwinism.
 Nothing to provide evidence for.
 Nothing to prove or disprove, agree or disagree with.
 Claim: Popular belief in Social Darwinism allowed
disadvantaged groups to be exploited.
 Evidence: (Specific instance of a group being exploited)
 Evidence: (Specific instance of a group being exploited)
Claim & Evidence
1. Claim: Robber Barons used their industry to benefit Americans
a. Evidence: Standard Oil used it’s power and influence to get other
companies to lower the price of oil.
b. Evidence: Industrialists, such as Andrew Carnegie, became great
philanthropists and gave their money to promote education and
world peace.
Claim & Evidence
 Claim: The Tuskegee Institute was more readily accepted by Whites.
 Evidence: Whites disliked the blacks who were recently freed and
were demanding more rights.
 Both sound like claims.
 The evidence in this case must be a specific researched example of the
Tuskegee institute being favored by White Americans.
 Evidence: The Tuskegee Institute received generous funding grants
from White industrial leaders such as Andrew Carnegie and John D.
Rockefeller.
Be More Specific?
 Specific Evidence:






Not a broad or general idea
Specific moment or instance in history
Specific movement or organization with defined goals
Name, date, place
Proves or disproves a claim
Must have a Source Citation
 Specific Website, Book, Article etc.
Works Cited
 Lot’s of examples online for help with MLA Format
 http://www.studyguide.org/MLAdocumentation.htm
 Last, First Name. Book Title. Publisher Name and
Location, year.