THE WIZARD OF OZ
adapted by Erin Detrick
FROM THE BOOK BY L.FRANK BAUM
1
Cast of Characters
DOROTHY
WITCH OF THE NORTH
MUNCHKINS (5)
FARMERS (2)
CROWS (2-5)
SCARECROW
TIN WOODMAN
LION
KALIDAHS (2)
FLOWERS (5-20)
GUARDIAN OF THE GATES
SOLDIER
LADIES OF THE COURT (7)
GENTLEMEN OF THE COURT (2)
OZ (1-6)
WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST
WINKIES (4-8)
WINGED MONKEY KING
WINGED MONKEYS (4-8)
GLINDA
TOTO
Place
The Land of Oz
2
Production Notes
This
adaptation
desired—the
key
may
be produced as simply or elaborately as
is
to
use
the
ensemble
as
imaginatively
as
possible to create scenes, and to facilitate the transition from
one Oz locale to the next. The ensemble may assume many of the
roles found in the play, including the Crows, inhabitants of
Munchkinland,
Emerald
City
citizens,Winkies,
Flowers,Winged
Monkeys, Trees in the forest, and so forth. If you can enhance a
scene, or make a transition between scenes more effective with
the use of the ensemble, go for it.
In many ways, this play is faithful to the heart of the novel,
although liberties have certainly been taken. I encourage you
to use the wonderfully detailed descriptions in the book as a
reference for costumes, sets, sound, etc.
3
THE WIZARD OF OZ
Scene 1
(In the dark. The screaming wind of a cyclone. Louder, closer,
until it’s as loud as possible, then a sudden eerie quiet.
Lights up on a small house—there are two legs sticking out from
underneath,wearing astonishingly silver slippers. After a brief
moment, the door opens, and DOROTHY cautiously sticks her head
out.)
DOROTHY.Toto?
(Toto appears.)
DOROTHY.What happened to Kansas?
(Toto barks—strange-looking people dressed all in blue have
begun to pop up from their hiding places on stage. A woman
approaches.)
WITCH OF THE NORTH.You are welcome, most noble Sorceress, to the
land of the Munchkins.
DOROTHY.Sorceress?...
WITCH OF THE NORTH.We are eternally grateful to you for having
killed the Wicked Witch of the East, and for setting our people
free from bondage.
MUNCHKINS.Free!
DOROTHY.I didn’t kill anything, especially a witch!
MUNCHKINS.The witch is dead!
WITCH OF THE NORTH.Your house did, and that is the same thing.
(Gestures to the silver shoes.)
DOROTHY.I’m very sorry, but I’m not even sure how I got here.
WITCH OF THE NORTH.Nothing to apologize for, dearie, nothing at
all! She made all the Munchkins of this land her slaves, and
they are very grateful to you. If a little shy.
4
(She nudges MUNCHKIN 3. He steps forward haltingly and hands
DOROTHY a fantastical flower.)
DOROTHY.Thank you—how strange! Are we in a part of Kansas I’ve
never seen before?
WITCH OF THE NORTH. What is Kansas?
MUNCHKIN 1.Is it a country?
MUNCHKIN 2.A disagreeable food, maybe?
DOROTHY.It’s my home—where I live with Aunty Em and Uncle Henry.
It’s where I was before the cyclone came... You see, I ran to
the house, looked for Toto, bumped my head, flew up in the air,
and then kept flying, and flying, and flying higher and higher
until I shut my eyes and now I’m here with all these odd people
and you all seem very nice but you clearly have never heard of
Kansas, and that’s the only place I want to be . How do I get
home to my Aunty Em?
WITCH OF THE NORTH.I do not know what an Aunty Em is, but as I
said, you are in the Land of Munchkins, and oh my, I haven’t
introduced myself. I’m the Witch of the North!
DOROTHY. You’re a witch?
WITCH OF THE NORTH.One of only four in the whole land of Oz!
Well, that’s three now, isn’t it ? There’s me, and the Witch of
the South, and then there was the one you killed, and of course,
there’s the Wicked Witch of the West!
DOROTHY.I thought all witches were wicked.
MUNCHKIN 4. There must not be witches in Kansas.
WITCH OF THE NORTH.
Ahh. Is Kansas a civilized country?
DOROTHY. I think so.
WITCH OF THE NORTH. That accounts for it. In the civilized
countries there are no witches left, nor wizards, nor
sorceresses, nor magicians. But you see, the Land of Oz has
never been civilized, for we are cut off—pffft—from all the rest
of the world. And so, we have witches and wizards among us. Oz
himself is the great wizard. He lives in the Emerald City.
5
(Toto barks wildly at the silver shoes. The stockings have
disappeared.)
DOROTHY. What is it? Oh!
WITCH OF THE NORTH.(Laughing merrily:)She was so old she’s dried
up in the sun. That nasty witch! Here, the silver shoes are
yours—they were her proudest possession, and are said to have
magical powers, although I know not what.
DOROTHY.
Thank you, but I’d rather you tell me how I may get home. Aunty
Em must be quite worried about me by now.
(The WITCH solemnly removes her hat, taps it three times, and it
turns into a slate on which the following words appear: “Let
Dorothy go to the Emerald City.”)
DOROTHY. What are you doing?
WITCH OF THE NORTH. Is your name Dorothy?
DOROTHY. Yes. Wait—is that magic?
WITCH OF THE NORTH. You must go to the Emerald City to see if Oz
will help you.
DOROTHY.How should I get there?
WITCH OF THE NORTH.(Cheerily:)You must walk. It’s a long trip,
sometimes through dark and terrible lands. Very dark. And very
terrible, I’m afraid.
DOROTHY. Will anyone go with me?
MUNCHKIN 3.No.
MUNCHKIN 5.We never leave here!
MUNCHKIN 4. Why would we?
MUNCHKIN 1. The witch is dead and we can do what we want.
WITCH OF THE NORTH. I cannot go myself, dearie, but I will give
you my kiss, and no one will dare injure you.
6
(She kisses DOROTHY on the forehead, leaving a noticeable
mark.)
The road to the Emerald City is paved with yellow brick, so you
cannot miss it. When you get to Oz, do not be afraid of him, but
tell your story and ask him to help you. Goodbye!
(The WITCH disappears.)
DOROTHY. I had a feeling she was going to do that. Come on,
Toto, let’s go.
(He barks at the shoes.)
DOROTHY.
Fine—I’ll take them with me. Or, I suppose I could put them on
right now. Aunty Em’s never bought me shoes like this before.
Maybe you can’t find them in Kansas.
(She slips them on.)
DOROTHY. Well they fit just right—now where are the yellow
bricks?
MUNCHKINS. That way!
(MUNCHKINS clear the stage with DOROTHY following. Two
FARMERS enter carrying a stuffed SCARECROW.)
Scene 2
(A cornfield.)
FARMER 1. This better work.
FARMER 2. My neighbor swears by these things—they’re too small
to frighten the crows off themselves, so they put these stuffed
contraptions up on poles to wave around.
FARMER 1. Maybe you should have given it a scarier face. The
crows will probably all think it wants to make friends.
FARMER 2. Aww, I like its silly grin. Well, here goes!
(They hoist the SCARECROW up, plump it a bit, and exit.)
7
SCARECROW.(To audience, smiling throughout.) You don’t want to
be a scarecrow. Trust me. I may look happy, and I often am, but
here’s the thing: I’m stuffed with straw. And it itches.
(A CROW flies in and starts eating corn.)
Shoo!
(The CROW doesn’t move.)
SCARECROW. But the itching isn’t the worst part—I’m even used to
it, now. Real problem is, I’m bored up here all day, sitting in
the hot sun.
(Another CROW flies in—the SCARECROW waves its arm, but
neither CROW budges.)
SCARECROW.Scaring the crows doesn’t take up too much of my time,
because nothing I do scares them.
(Another two CROWS fly in—the SCARECROW ignores them.)
SCARECROW.There’s nothing to do, nobody to talk to, nothing. I
mean, have you ever tried talking to a crow? I asked one of them
why they’re not scared of me, and he says:
CROW.(Like this is the most obvious thing in the world:) You’re
made of straw.
SCARECROW.See? No point even trying to
talk to these birds. If only—hey! Hey!
(He waves wildly as DOROTHY and Toto enter. DOROTHY stops.)
DOROTHY. Are you waving at me?
SCARECROW. Hello!
DOROTHY. You can talk?
SCARECROW. Certainly! How do you do?
DOROTHY. Just fine, thanks. How do you do?
8
SCARECROW. So glad you asked. I’m actually not so great. It’s
tedious being perched up here all day trying to scare crows WHO
CAN’T BE SCARED!!!
(All CROWS look up at this, then calmly go back to eating.)
DOROTHY. So why don’t you leave?
SCARECROW.Can’t. I have this pole holding me up. If you could
take the pole away, I’d be very thankful.
DOROTHY. Well, I guess I can lift you up here, and then...
(SCARECROW tumbles down.)
DOROTHY. Are you all right?
SCARECROW. I’m great! Doesn’t hurt at all when I fall—look I can
walk! Watch me! Can I walk with you a ways?
DOROTHY. If you’d like. I’m going to see Oz in the Emerald City
so he can send me back home to Kansas — my house just landed
here, and I’m not sure why or how.
SCARECROW. What’s the Emerald City, and who’s Oz?
DOROTHY. Don’t you know?
SCARECROW. I don’t know anything. I’m stuffed, so I have no
brains. Maybe that’s why my conversations with the crows are so
boring.
DOROTHY. Oz is a very great wizard, and he lives in a far-off
city. Maybe you can ask him for brains. I hear he’s very
powerful.
SCARECROW. Do you think he’d give them to me?
DOROTHY.I don’t know, but even if he doesn’t, you won’t be any
worse off than you are now.
SCARECROW. This is true. Well, then, I’ll come with you! (He
immediately falls down.)
DOROTHY. Are you okay?
9
SCARECROW. Just a little wobbly, nothing to worry about. To the
Emerald City we go! Bye crows — wish me luck. Won’t be bothering
any of you any more. Give my best to the farmers.
(CROWS look at him, then go back to eating.)
DOROTHY. Wait! It’s this way.
SCARECROW. Oops. Right you are. I’m going to love having brains.
Scene 3
(DOROTHY, SCARECROW and Toto have been walking for some
time. The SCARECROW is fairly disheveled.)
SCARECROW. Whoa!(He wipes out.)
DOROTHY. Why don’t you ever look where you’re going? You’ll lose
all your straw at this rate.
SCARECROW. I just never think to.
DOROTHY. Well, maybe some rest would help you. I know Toto and I
could use it.
SCARECROW. I never get tired, but I’m happy to stop if you need
to.
DOROTHY. Where should we sleep for the night? It’s getting more
and more deserted.
SCARECROW. What about under that tree over there?
(Ensemble members have formed a leafy tree, holding leafy
branches that conceal the TIN WOODMAN from sight.)
DOROTHY. I suppose it will do. Will you be alright?
SCARECROW. I’ll be fine—I’ll just stand here and keep watch. I
Couldn't close my eyes if I wanted to.
DOROTHY. That’s very nice of you! Good night.
SCARECROW.Good night.
10
(SCARECROW stretches and pats his/her straw down a bit.
Suddenly, a low, creaky noise.)
TIN WOODMAN.Oooooooyyyyyyyyyyyy—
SCARECROW.(Whispered:) What?
TIN WOODMAN. —yuuuuuuulllllllllllll.
(The tree branches quiver. It’s very dark. The
SCARECROW quakes.)
SCARECROW. Just the wind. Nothing to be frightened of. Probably
just a crow teasing me.
TIN WOODMAN. Heeeeeeeeellllllllllppppppp.
SCARECROW. Hello?
TIN WOODMAN.Ooooooverrrrrrrrr hhheeeeeerrrrre.
SCARECROW. Dorothy! Wake up!
DOROTHY.It’s still dark. What’s wrong?
SCARECROW. We’re not alone!
(The wind blows hard, and the tree branches part to reveal
the TIN WOODMAN standing behind them with his axe raised high in
the air.)
DOROTHY & SCARECROW. AHHHHHHH!
(They begin to run, but Toto remains behind, barking
madly.)
DOROTHY. Toto! Get out of there. He’s going to chop you!
SCARECROW. Wait—it’s not moving. If it was going to hurt us, it
would have by now.
TIN WOODMAN. Heeeeeeeeellllllllllppppppp—
DOROTHY. Did it say something?
TIN WOODMAN. Mmmmmeeeeeeeeee.
11
SCARECROW. What should we do?
DOROTHY. Do you need help?
TIN WOODMAN. Oooooooyyyyyyyyyyyylllllllllll.
Caaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn.
DOROTHY. You’re rusted, aren’t you? But where’s your oil?
SCARECROW. Here — it was hidden by these trees.
(The SCARECROW scowls at the trees, and they scowl back.)
DOROTHY. Oil his jaw and neck so he can speak.
(The SCARECROW does so.)
TIN WOODMAN. Ahhhhhhh. Thank you! More please, more! My elbows,
my shoulders, my knees, my feet. Thank you, thank you.
SCARECROW. Happy to oblige.
TIN WOODMAN. I’ve been holding this axe in the air ever since I
rusted, and it feels so good to set it down. I’d begun to think
no one would ever hear me, and I’d stand here always. What made
you pass this way?
DOROTHY. We’re on our way to the Emerald City to see the Great
Oz. I seem to have ended up in this country by accident, so I’m
going to ask him to send me home to Kansas. The Scarecrow here
wants to get some brains in his head.
SCARECROW. I would have done something for you sooner, but I
just couldn’t think of what would make such a strange noise.
TIN WOODMAN. Do you suppose that if I journeyed with you, Oz
would give me a heart?
DOROTHY. I guess that’d be as easy to do as giving the Scarecrow
brains.
SCARECROW. You should come with us and ask.
DOROTHY. We’d love to have you along. But first, I really do
have to sleep.
12
SCARECROW. Of course, of course, how thoughtless of me.
TIN WOODMAN. We can keep watch together.
DOROTHY. Thank you, and good night again!
(DOROTHY lies down and closes her eyes.)
SCARECROW. How did you rust so badly? I know I’m rather stupid,
but I didn’t even know there were creatures made entirely of
tin.
TIN WOODMAN. It’s all because of love. That’s why I’d do
anything for a heart, because I long for happiness. That’s worth
more than brains to me.
SCARECROW. You rusted for love?
TIN WOODMAN. I rusted because I got caught in a rainstorm.
SCARECROW. I’m confused.
TIN WOODMAN. I know—it’s coming out wrong. A little more oil,
please? Thank you. I learned to be a wood-chopper from my
father, and when I was grown, I fell in love with a beautiful
Munchkin girl, who loved me back. What bliss it was to feel
love. But she lived with an old woman who wanted to keep the
girl all to herself so that she’d always have someone to cook
and clean for her. When the old woman learned of my intentions,
she asked the Wicked Witch of the East to prevent the marriage.
The Wicked Witch enchanted my ax, and as I was chopping logs for
our house, the axe slipped and chopped off my leg.
SCARECROW. Did it hurt?
TIN WOODMAN.A little. But I went to a tin-smith, and he fixed me
a nice new one. This angered the Witch, and so when I began
chopping again, my axe slipped and cut off my other leg. I had a
new one made, and then the axe chopped off first one arm, then
the other, then it chopped me clean in two.
SCARECROW. Whoa.
TIN WOODMAN. The tin-smith fixed me every time, but I’d lost my
heart, and so I no longer cared whether or not I married the
Munchkin girl. She might still be waiting for me, but without a
heart, what can I do?
13
SCARECROW. Poor girl.
TIN WOODMAN.So, I no longer worried about cutting myself, but I
had to be careful to always keep an oil can nearby. One day I
was so busy chopping I didn’t notice the clouds darkening, and I
didn’t think to stop as the rain started plopping down. By the
time I noticed it was too late. I had many months to think about
what I had lost, and resolved that if I could only get a heart,
I could know love again and be happy, because I was never so
happy as when I was in love.
SCARECROW. Are you crying? Don’t do that—you’ll rust. Here.
(He oils the TIN WOODMAN’s face a bit.)
TIN WOODMAN.Thank you. I’m sure the Wicked Witch never counted
on good people finding me.
SCARECROW. I’ve never met a witch, myself. I think Dorothy has.
DOROTHY.(Stirring.) Are you talking about witches?
TIN WOODMAN. I just told the Scarecrow how the Wicked Witch of
the East put me in this predicament. What’s wrong?
DOROTHY. Nothing, well, you see, I’m wearing her shoes.
TIN WOODMAN & SCARECROW.What?
DOROTHY. Yes—when I landed here, my house fell on her and
squashed her. A good witch gave me the shoes.
TIN WOODMAN.You must be a very powerful girl. I imagine the
Great Oz will do wonderful things for us if you possess those
shoes.
DOROTHY. We won’t know until we get there, and I don’t think I’m
going to be able to sleep another wink. Everyone ready?
SCARECROW.Lead the way!
TIN WOODMAN.To the Emerald City!
(They march off confidently.)
14
Scene 4
(They are huddled close together. Their excitement has been
replaced with severe nervousness. Dark trees [created by the
ensemble] surround them, and every so often there’s a distant
howl.)
TIN WOODMAN. I wish I had time to stop and chop some of these
trees down so the sunshine could reach us.
(The TREES moan ominously.)
DOROTHY. I’m not sure that’s the best idea. These trees seem
different from the few trees that I’m used to in Kansas.
SCARECROW.
Maybe we’ve gone the wrong way. Let’s turn back!
DOROTHY. We can’t have made a mistake — we’re still following
the yellow bricks.
SCARECROW. Right. Ahhh!
(He falls in a hole.)
TIN WOODMAN. Why didn’t you walk around that?
SCARECROW.I never think to. That’s why I need brains.
DOROTHY.Do you think there are wild animals here?
TIN WOODMAN. Most likely. But worry not—the scarecrow and I
are not easily hurt, and you bear the kiss of the good witch on
your forehead, so no one will dare hurt you.
DOROTHY. You really think it will work?
TIN WOODMAN. I hope so—we’ll just have to watch out for Toto;
I’m not sure he can defend himself.
(Toto is growling at a TREE —the TREE growls back and Toto
yelps and jumps into the air.)
DOROTHY.Do you hear that?
TIN WOODMAN.You mean Toto fighting with a tree?
15
DOROTHY.No—it’s like something is running through the trees...
(With an enormous jump, the LION leaps out of the trees,
roaring at the top of his lungs. He knocks down the SCARECROW
and TIN WOODMAN as he lands, and Toto bounds towards him.)
DOROTHY.Stop!
(She runs and slaps the LION on the nose before he can bite
Toto.)
DOROTHY.
You ought to be ashamed, a big beast like you trying to bite
such a little dog.
LION. Owwwww. But I didn’t bite him.
DOROTHY.You would have, you big coward.
LION. (Sniffling.) How did you know?
DOROTHY. That you’re a coward? It’s pretty clear. Why else would
you strike a stuffed scarecrow, a Tin Man, and try to eat a
little dog?
LION.I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.I’m a failure. No one would
think of doing what I’ve just done except a coward like me.
SCARECROW. What makes you a coward?
TIN WOODMAN.(Oiling his joints:) You’re huge. You should have
much scarier creatures to pick on.
LION. I was born this way. I’m supposed to be the King of
Beasts,but I roar to protect myself, not to cause any actual
harm. When I heard you coming, I thought you might be after me.
DOROTHY. Why?
LION. I’m a coward. I thought I could scare you before you
scared me.
SCARECROW. It’s not right.
LION. I know, I’m soooo unhappy. Wherever there’s danger, my
heart starts to beat so fast I can hardly stand it.
16
TIN WOODMAN. Perhaps you have heart disease.
LION.
Maybe so.
TIN WOODMAN. You should consider yourself lucky, then, because
it proves you have a heart. I have no heart, so I can’t have
heart disease.
LION. Maybe I would have courage if I didn’t have a heart.
SCARECROW. Do you have a brain?
LION. I guess. I’ve never looked to see.
SCARECROW.I’m going to the Great Oz to ask for some, because my
head’s stuffed with straw.
TIN WOODMAN.I’m asking him for a heart, and Dorothy wants to go
home to Kansas.
LION.
If he can do all those things, do you think he could give me
courage?
DOROTHY. You’ll never know unless you ask! It might be nice to
have you along to scare off other wild beasts.
TIN WOODMAN. Quite right. And if they run off, it shall mean
they are more cowardly than you.
LION. Perhaps, but that makes me no braver. As long as I feel
cowardly I will be unhappy.
DOROTHY.
We should keep moving. The little light we have will be gone
soon.
LION.Did you hear that?
SCARECROW.What?
LION. Nothing.(Pause.)What was that?
TIN WOODMAN. What?
LION. I guess it was nothing.(Pause.) What about that?
17
DOROTHY. Would you relax?
LION.Sorry. It’s just that we’re entering the part of the
country where the Kalidahs live. (Pronounced Kah-lie-duhs.)
DOROTHY. Kalidahs?
TIN WOODMAN. No one panic, but I think we’re being followed.
LION. B-b-b-b-y wh-wh-what?
SCARECROW. I see something, but I can’t tell if it’s a bear or a
tiger or..
LION. It’s a Kalidah! Run! Their claws are long enough to rip me
in half!
TIN WOODMAN.
You and Dorothy run—I’m not afraid.
SCARECROW.I’ll stay—if they rip me in half I can be sewn back
together.
(The KALIDAHS saunter in, snarling. They have the bodies of
bears, the heads of tigers, and the longest claws you’ve ever
seen. They advance on the TIN WOODMAN, who begins using his ax
like a sword against their claws. They spar. The SCARECROW
climbs up two of the “trees” and jumps down on the back of one,
covering its eyes. Confused, the KALIDA runs into the other
KALIDAH, and then SCARECROWjumps off, just before the TIN
WOODMAN knocks them out with one swing of his ax.)
(The SCARECROW stuffs some straw back into his shirt, and highfives the TIN WOODSMAN.)
SCARECROW. Think they have friends?
TIN WOODMAN. Let’s not wait around to find out.
(They run off after DOROTHY and the LION.)
18
Scene 5
(All TREES have exited, and bright sunlight bathes the stage.
Over the course of the next couple minutes, FLOWERS will slip in
from all directions until they gradually cover the stage.)
DOROTHY. Out of the forest at last! I hope we don’t see any more
Kalidahs.
LION. They won’t leave the forest.
SCARECROW. And if they did, I’d teach ’em another lesson!
TIN WOODMAN. It’s so good to see sunlight I could cry.
LION. Don’t—you’ll rust.
TIN WOODMAN. I know—I can hardly imagine how happy it will make
me to see beautiful things when I have a heart again.
DOROTHY. Look at all the flowers...
SCARECROW. When I have a brain I shall probably appreciate them
even more.
TIN WOODMAN. I’m sure I could love them with a heart.
LION.I’ve always loved flowers. They seem so helpless and frail.
But I’ve never seen any in the forest as bright as these.
DOROTHY. I’ve never seen flowers this bright in Kansas either.
(She breathes deeply from one, and her eyelids begin
growing heavy.)
TIN WOODMAN. Careful—something feels wrong. I know something of
enchantments, thanks to that witch. I think there may be a
strange magic here.
DOROTHY.(Sleepily:)Strange magic? I don't see any magic, just
preettttyyy flowers...
LION.(Sleepily as well:) Why they are pretty, and so many
colors.
LION.(Singing:) Pretty and bright,Pretty and bright,
The flowers are oh so pretty and bright,
(DOROTHY joins in) Sweet and light, Sweet and light,
19
The flowers are pretty and light, sweet and bright!
SCARECROW. Why are you singing? I think I can just barely see
the Emerald City from here. Hurry up. We’re almost there.
TIN WOODMAN. It’s a spell—but with all our tin and straw we just
can’t feel it. Make them keep moving.
LION & DOROTHY.Such a delight,
So pretty and bright,
I want to stay here for-ever,
Flowers for beds, flowers crown our heads,
Flowers for lunch and dinner
SCARECROW.(Yelling over them:)What should we do?
(The Scarecrow and Tin Woodman are now pulling them along)
FLOWERS.Come, rest your heads
On our petals of red.
Sweet dreams you’ll have through the night
Waking up would be a fright
So stay with us for-ever.
(Repeat under the following.)
SCARECROW. We have to do something. I can’t carry them the whole
way. This singing is driving me crazy!
TIN WOODMAN. That’s it—we have to sing too!
SCARECROW. No way.
TIN WOODMAN. We have to make them listen to something other than
these poppies so they can remember that we have to keep moving.
SCARECROW.If I only had brains I’d be of more help.
TIN WOODMAN. That’s an idea... brains, courage, love, and
Kansas...
SCARECROW. Love, Courage, Brains and Kansas! Hey Dorothy — Hey
Lion!
SCARECROW & TIN WOODMAN.
Love, Courage, Brains, and
Kansas
20
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
(The FLOWERS’ singing begins to fade away.)
DOROTHY & LION.
(Catching on, they’re quiet at first, then increasingly
louder:)
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas
(The FLOWERS start to dissipate.)
TIN WOODMAN. We’re almost out.
DOROTHY & LION. Love, Courage, Brains, and Kansas!
DOROTHY. What happened? I feel all confused.
TIN WOODMAN. Must be the spell still—if we can make it to the
Emerald City, I think you’ll feel better.
LION. I hope so, I have a terrible pain in my head.
SCARECROW. There it is just ahead—come on!
(They race off.)
Scene 6
(A green gate glittering in the sun. DOROTHY knocks. The
GUARDIAN OF THE GATES, a nervous man dressed all in green,
appears.)
GUARDIAN. What do you wish for in the Emerald City?
DOROTHY. We’re here to see the Great Oz.
GUARDIAN. Why, why, hmm, well, hmmm.
DOROTHY. What’s wrong?
21
GUARDIAN. It has been many years since anyone asked me to see
Oz.
DOROTHY. But don’t people ask him for things all the time?
GUARDIAN.He is powerful and terrible, and if you come on an idle
or foolish errand to bother the wise reflections of the Great
Wizard, he might be angry and destroy you all in an instant.
SCARECROW.But it’s not foolish or idle—it’s very important. And
we’ve been told that Oz is a good Wizard.
GUARDIAN.So he is, and he rules the Emerald City wisely and
well. But to those who are not honest, or who approach him from
curiosity, he is most terrible, and few have ever dared ask to
see his face.
TIN WOODMAN.We simply must see him.
GUARDIAN. Since you demand it, I must take you to his palace.
But first you must put on these spectacles.
DOROTHY.Why?
GUARDIAN.Because if you did not wear spectacles the brightness
and glory of the Emerald City would blind you. Even those who
live in the city must wear spectacles night and day. They are
all locked on, for Oz so ordered it when the city was first
built, and I have the only key that will unlock them.
(The GUARDIAN opens a box and hands an outrageous pair of
glasses to each of them, all bright green. He locks them in back
with his key. He places glasses on himself)
GUARDIAN. Everyone snug? Please, follow me.
(Suddenly, everything is green—people, houses, plants. The
friends marvel at the color.)
DOROTHY. I’ve only seen emeralds in pictures—they’re everywhere
here.
TIN WOODMAN. I’ve long heard of the riches of the Emerald City,
but never dreamed of such brilliance.
SCARECROW.A person could likely do great things here with a
brain.
22
(All-green TOWNSPEOPLE stop to stare at the friends,
speaking low to each other. Some are clearly frightened.)
LION.I like this city immensely!(Strutting:)Roarrrr!
DOROTHY.Lion!
LION.(Immediately chastened.) Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
GUARDIAN.Stop here! We must formally tell Oz of your presence,
although he has surely been aware of your journey for some time
now.
DOROTHY.Why didn’t he help us immediately, then?
GUARDIAN.Do not ask such foolish questions!
(He rings a bell, and a SOLDIER appears.)
SOLDIER. What is your wish?
GUARDIAN. These strangers demand to see the Great Oz.
SOLDIER.Step inside, and make yourself comfortable. I will carry
your message to him.
GUARDIAN. I must leave you here. Good luck—if you see the
wizard, consider yourselves very lucky. Most of us have gone our
whole lives without such an occurrence.
DOROTHY. Thank you for your help!
(GUARDIAN exits.)
LION. Wish I could take off these glasses. They’re squeezing my
ears.
TIN WOODMAN. There are certain advantages to being made of tin.
I can’t feel them at all.
SCARECROW.
Shhh... someone’s coming.
(LADIES and GENTLEMEN of the Court approach. A gossipy
group—they may be composed of the citizens of the Emerald City,
with small costume adjustments.)
23
LADY 1.Here they are.
LADY 2.Such a curious group.
LION.Hey! We can hear you!
GENTLEMAN 1.Are you really going to look upon the face of Oz the
Terrible?
DOROTHY.Of course. But why is he called terrible?
GENTLEMAN 1.You will see.
LADY 3.He is all things.
LADY 4.And none.
SCARECROW.Huh?
GENTLEMAN 2.He will see you, but he does not like to be asked.
LADY 1.I hear it’s the silver shoes that are getting them in
LADY 3.I hear it’s the mark on the girl’s forehead.
LADY 5.Do you know what you will see in his throne room?
TIN WOODMAN.Of course not—we’ve never been here before.
LADY 2.They don’t know! The poor dears.
LADY 6.The Terrible Oz can appear as many things.
LION.I don’t like this...
GENTLEMAN 1.I have heard he assumes the shape of a beautiful
lady.
LION.I can handle that.
LADY 4. Ahh, but I’ve heard he is a ball of fire so hot he
singes your eyebrows.
SCARECROW.(Trembling:)I cannot abide fire.
24
LADY 7.I have heard the Great Oz appears as a large head, with
no limbs attached. Terrifying.
TIN WOODMAN.If none of you has ever seen him before, how do you
know these things?
LADY 1.Rumors.
LADY 5.Suspicions.
(They close in on the group.)
LADY 2.Keep your heads!
GENTLEMAN 1.No reason to panic.
GENTLEMAN 2. We’re not suggesting that at all.
LADY 6.Just remember what you want.
LADY 7.And how much you want it.
DOROTHY. I will—just let us alone.
SOLDIER.(Enters, thunders:)The Great Oz will see you now! You
must enter in darkness.
(The LADIES and GENTLEMEN scatter.)
Scene 7
(The lights lower almost completely as the friends huddle
together. In the darkness, OZ assembles himself.)
DOROTHY. How do we know he’s even here?
LION. Will you hold my hand?
TIN WOODMAN.
My axe is ready, if need be.
SCARECROW.I think I can see something…
25
(The lights rise to reveal OZ, a giant puppet wearing an
enormous
robe that ripples underneath. Ideally , at least 6 members of
the ensemble are under the robe, and speak as one—this may be
done elaborately, or as simply as possible.)
OZ. I am Oz, the Great and Terrible. Who are you, and why do you
seek me?
DOROTHY, SCARECROW, LION & TIN WOODSMAN.(All at once:) I am /
I’m / W-w-w-e-lll / We come
OZ.ONE AT A TIME!
DOROTHY. I am Dorothy, and I’ve come for your help, just as my
friends have.
OZ.Where did you get the silver shoes?
DOROTHY. From the Wicked Witch of the East—my house fell on her
and killed her.
OZ.And the mark upon your forehead?
DOROTHY. The good Witch of the North kissed me when she showed
me the yellow brick road, and she told me to come to you.
OZ.What do you wish me to do?
DOROTHY.Send me back to Kansas, where my Aunt Em and Uncle Henry
are. Your country is beautiful, but I don’t like it nearly as
much as home. And I am sure Aunt Em is terribly worried about me
being away for so long.
OZ.How did you come to arrive in Oz in the first place?
DOROTHY. A cyclone carried me here. Please, I don’t know how
I’ll get home again without your help.
OZ. Why should I do this for you?
DOROTHY.Because you are strong, and a Great Wizard, and I am
not.
OZ.But you were strong enough to kill the Wicked Witch of the
East.
26
DOROTHY.That was just an accident. I couldn’t help it.
OZ.Enough! Who are your companions?
SCARECROW.Pardon me, but there’s no reason to yell.
OZ.And you have no right to speak to me in such a way. You are?
SCARECROW.I’m only a Scarecrow, stuffed with, well, straw, of
course.
OZ.Why do you seek me?
SCARECROW.Because I am only stuffed with straw, I have no
brains, and I come to you praying that you will put brains in my
head so that I may become as much a thinking man as any other in
your dominions.
OZ. Why should I do this for you?
SCARECROW. It is the same for me as it is for Dorothy—no one
else can help me.
OZ. I see. And for you, in the silver?
TIN WOODMAN.I am a Woodman, made of tin. Therefore I have no
heart, and cannot love. I pray you to give me a heart that I may
be as other people are.
OZ. And why should I give you a heart?
TIN WOODMAN. Because I ask it, and you alone can grant it.
OZ. You, Lion, what is it you want from me?
LION.I am a Cowardly Lion, afraid of everything. I beg for
courage, so that I may truly become the King of Beasts. And you
don’t have to ask me why—you know that only you can grant this
request.
(At this point different members of the ensemble begin taking
lines, so that OZ’s voice comes from different places:)
OZ. I see that I am the last resort for each of you. I will give
you all my answers. You have no right to expect me to give you
all of the things you desire, unless you do something for me. In
27
this country everyone must pay for everything they receive. If
you wish me to use my magic powers to send you home again you
must do something for me first. Help me and I will help you.
DOROTHY. What should we do?
OZ. Kill the Wicked Witch of the West.
DOROTHY. We can’t do that!
OZ. And why not? You killed the Witch of the East and you wear
the silver shoes, which bear a powerful charm. Your friends must
be quite resourceful as well if you made it this far.
SCARECROW.This is awfully unfair.
DOROTHY. I never killed anything, willingly, and even if I
wanted to, how could I kill the Wicked Witch? If you’re so great
and terrible, why can’t you kill her yourself?
OZ.I do not know, but that is my answer. Until the Wicked Witch
dies you will not see your uncle and aunt again. Remember that
the Witch is wicked—tremendously wicked—and ought to be killed.
DOROTHY. How will we find her?
OZ. She resides in the land of the Winkies, where she has
enslaved all of her subjects.
TIN WOODMAN.And if we do not do the things you have asked?
OZ.I am prepared to give you the biggest, kindest, most loving
heart in all the world. I will give the Lion all the courage he
desires, and stuff the Scarecrow’s head with brains. Dorothy
will be returned to Kansas. But none of these things will happen
if you do not kill the witch!
DOROTHY. We’ve all journeyed so long to get here. Isn’t that
enough?
OZ. There is now but one Wicked Witch left in all this land, and
when you can tell me she is dead I will give you what you want
but not before.
SCARECROW. Why, you—
28
OZ.Enough! You know what you must do, now leave me. I will not
see any of you again until your task is completed.
(Lights out.)
Scene 8
(The friends are huddled together at the entrance to the castle.
Some of the LADIES and GENTLEMEN are lounging about.)
DOROTHY. What do we do now?
TIN WOODMAN. There is only one thing we can do. We must go to
the Winkies, seek out the Wicked Witch, and destroy her.
DOROTHY.But what if we can’t?
LION. Then I’ll never possess courage.
SCARECROW. And I’ll never have brains.
TIN WOODMAN. And I’ll never feel a heart beating in my chest
again.
DOROTHY. And I’ll never get home and see my family again.
LION.We have to try, then. Although I’m much too cowardly to
kill a witch.
SCARECROW. I’ll come too, although I don’t know how much help
I’ll be, as I’m such a fool.
TIN WOODMAN. I haven’t the heart to harm even a Witch, but of
course I’ll come with you.
DOROTHY. We should start at once. Here comes the Guardian of the
Gates—excuse me!
(The GUARDIAN enters briskly, and stops at the sound of
DOROTHY 's voice.)
GUARDIAN.Is it true you gazed upon the Great Oz?
DOROTHY. Yes, but we don’t have much time to talk. Can you lead
us out and show us which road will take us to the Wicked Witch
of the West?
29
GUARDIAN.Why would you want to go there?
TIN WOODMAN.Oz commands it.
GUARDIAN.There is no road. No one here ever wishes to go that
way.
DOROTHY. So how do we find her?
GUARDIAN. Easy. As soon as she knows you’re in the country of
the Winkies she will find you, and make you all her slaves.
SCARECROW. Not if we can help it—we mean to destroy her.
GUARDIAN.Good luck to you—I doubt she’ll like that much.Here we
are at the gate, I’ll just take your spectacles now. Keep to the
West, where the sun sets, and you will find her. Good bye!
(They all wave, and the GUARDIAN disappears back into the city.)
Scene 9
(The WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST is holding a large telescope to
her good eye, surveying her land. WINKIES [dressed in all
yellow] scurry about, cleaning, stirring pots, hauling heavy
things, etc. The WICKED WITCH has seen something she does not
like.)
WICKED WITCH.Here, you, put this telescope back in its place.
(A WINKIE quickly obliges.)
WICKED WITCH. We seem to have intruders—stop staring at me and
get back to work! At once! You miserable Winkies, I’m sure you
never got a thing done until I arrived to rule over you. (To
another WINKIE:) Come here, fool.
WINKIE 1. What is your wish?
WICKED WITCH. Fetch me my Golden Cap. NOW!
WINKIE 1. Yes, ma’am. I go at once.
(WINKIE exits.)
30
WICKED WITCH.(To herself:) A little girl, a Scarecrow, a Tin
Woodman, and a Lion... I have no use for the first three, but I
would like to harness the Lion like a horse, and put him to
work. Wouldn’t that scare the Winkies when I ride around! I’ll
need the help of the Winged Monkeys, though. Where is that
Winkie with my GOLDEN CAP?!!!
WINKIE 1.(Enters at full tilt, almost skidding into the WITCH:)
Here it is.
WICKED WITCH. And not a moment too soon—the strangers are coming
closer and closer. Now, my pretty cap, you have helped me twice
before, and I must summon the Monkeys for my final wish.
(Placing the cap on her head, she stands on her left foot and
chants:)
Ancient curse of Quelala! (Pronounced Kay-la-la.)
(She then stands on her right foot.)
Let the jokers come!
(She plants both feet firmly on the ground, and raises her
arms.)
With wings made wild and the mind of a child,
The Golden Cap summons you!
(A great rumbling begins to grow—the flapping of wings and chaos
often laughing MONKEYS. They swoop down onto the stage, and
perch before her. The MONKEY KING lands right in front of her.)
WINGED MONKEY KING.We met for the third and last time. What do
you command of us?
WICKED WITCH. Four strangers have invaded my land, and I have a
strong premonition that they’re up to no good. Destroy them all
save the Lion—him I wish for you to carry to me.
WINGED MONKEY 1. I am surprised she does not intend to enslave
them all like the Winkies.
WINGED MONKEY 2.Or simply drive them out like she did the Great
Oz.
WINGED MONKEY 3. These strangers must have some power she fears.
WINGED MONKEY 4.Or she’s going batty in her old age.
31
WICKED WITCH. How dare you insult me!
WINGED MONKEY KING.We will do as you command, but I cannot
command them to respect you.
WICKED WITCH.Then out of my sight, and do as I bid!
(The WINGED MONKEYS flap off, muttering insults as they
go.)
(As the MONKEYS circle the shadowy perimeter of the
stage,DOROTHY
and her friends have moved into view and set up camp,and are
about to rest for the night when the rumbling/chattering noises
of the
WINGED MONKEYS approach.)
DOROTHY. Look! What are those creatures?
SCARECROW.Stick together!
(WINGED MONKEYS descend, laughing.)
WINGED MONKEYS.(Mocking:)What are those creatures? Stick
together!
WINGED MONKEY KING.Quiet! That one—remove his straw and toss his
clothes away. That metal one—throw him off the cliffs we passed
over. And him—tie him up.
(The LION cowers as two or more MONKEYS quickly tie and
lift him up.)
WINGED MONKEY KING. And this one—wait.She is protected—see the
mark on her forehead? We cannot destroy her—her power is
stronger. Lift her quickly, and carry her to the Wicked Witch’s
castle. Once that is done, we will never have to see her again.
(Within a moment, everyone has been carried off. The
MONKEY KING surveys the scene, and, satisfied, flies off.)
32
Scene 10
(DOROTHY is alone, holding Toto, in the kitchen of the
WITCH 'S castle. A few WINKIES stare at her curiously.)
DOROTHY. Hello. Can you tell me where I am?
(The WINKIES scurry off, and the WICKED WITCH enters.)
WICKED WITCH. Hello, why my, what a pretty little girl, with a
nasty little dog. Whatever enticed you to pay me a visit?
(Beat.)
WICKED WITCH. Not going to speak, eh? Oh! What pretty silver
shoes. May I see them?
DOROTHY. No!
WICKED WITCH. All right you little brat, then I’ll put you to
work. See that you mind everything I tell you, for if you do
not, I will make an end of you, just as I did with the Tin
Woodman and Scarecrow.
(DOROTHY recoils.)
Still not going to talk? You’re better than that atrocious
Lion—he roared so when I tried to harness him that I’ve
forbidden he be fed
until he relents.
DOROTHY.How dare you. That isn’t fair.
WICKED WITCH. Oh, isn't it? Now get to work on this pot, or I’ll
strike you.
(She raises her umbrella, and DOROTHY quickly gets to work.
The WICKED WITCH exists.)
DOROTHY.Toto, how am I going to get home to Kansas now? My
friends are gone, and if I don’t obey the Witch, she’ll probably
kill me.
(Toto barks sympathetically.)
DOROTHY. I suppose I just have to get to work until I think of
something. (She starts scrubbing again.)
33
(WINKIE 1 enters.)
WINKIE 1. Dorothy?
DOROTHY. How do you know my name?
WINKIE 1.The Lion asked me to give you a message.
DOROTHY.What is it?
WINKIE 1.He wants to plan an escape.
DOROTHY.How do I know I can trust you?
WINKIE 1.Because I’m in the same position you are. We’ve been
enslaved for years now to the Wicked Witch, and cannot lead
lives of our own choosing. Many of my fellow Winkies think you
are here to save us.
DOROTHY. How can I save all of your people when I can’t even
help my friends, or myself?
WINKIE 1. Don’t you want to know what else the Lion says?
DOROTHY. Yes, of course.
WINKIE 1. He wonders if you can sneak him some food at night.
DOROTHY. Won’t the Witch see me?
WINKIE 1.No, she’s afraid of the dark. And a good thing for you,
because she’d steal those silver slippers from you in an instant
while you were sleeping if she wasn’t afraid to enter your dark
room. Now, I must return to work before the Witch notices. Oh—
the Lion is being kept in the lower courtyard. You can see it
from here.
DOROTHY. Thank you for your kindness!
(WINKIE 1 exits.)
34
Scene 11
(DOROTHY is in the LION’s pen, it is almost daybreak.)
DOROTHY.I’d much rather sleep out here in the open every night
than in that terrible room in the castle. I can hear bats flying
around in the rafters at night, and the Witch thumping around in
her room with her old umbrella. I wish I could bring you more to
eat than these old scraps.
LION. I’m so glad you keep me company. Otherwise I would be very
bored, and very hungry. I still haven’t thought up a good plan
yet—killing the Witch scares me.
DOROTHY.Me too. And I miss the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman so
terribly.
LION. Don’t worry, Dorothy, I’ll keep thinking.
DOROTHY. And I’ll keep being obedient so the Witch doesn’t
suspect anything. I better go now before the Witch catches
me—I’ll be back tomorrow night.
LION.Tomorrow!
(DOROTHYenters the kitchen and begins scrubbing a pot. The
WICKED WITCH enters.)
WICKED WITCH.
Dorothy, Dorothy, you should be twice as far
along with that cleaning. Never mind that for now, though. Could
you go and fetch me the salt from that shelf over there?
(DOROTHY walks to the shelf, but suddenly trips over
something
invisible. One of her silver shoes pops off, and the WICKED
WITCH quickly snatches it up.)
DOROTHY. What happened?
WICKED WITCH. Aha, my Dorothy, did you not see that iron bar I
placed on the floor? I see my magic can be stronger than yours.
(The WICKED WITCH places the shoe on her foot.)
Ahh, how it shines.
35
DOROTHY. Give me back my shoe!
WICKED WITCH. I will not—it’s on my foot, and it now belongs to
me, not you.
DOROTHY. You are a wicked woman! You have no right to take my
shoe from me.
WICKED WITCH. Ha! I shall keep it, just the same, and someday I
will get the other one from you, too.
DOROTHY. (Picking up a bucket of water angrily:) No you won’t,
you Witch!
(Without hesitating, she throws the water on the WICKED WITCH.)
WICKED WITCH. Aaaiiiiiieeeeeeeee. What have you done?
DOROTHY. I don’t know!
WICKED WITCH. I’m melting away. In a minute I’ll be gone.
DOROTHY. But how?
WICKED WITCH. Didn’t you know water would be the end of me?
DOROTHY. Of course not. Why would I know that?
WICKED WITCH. I never thought a little girl like you could end
meeeeeeeee...
(The WICKED WITCH leaves nothing more than a puddle on the
floor.
DOROTHY sweeps some of the water away quickly.)
DOROTHY. She’s gone! The Wicked Witch has melted! Winkies, come
quick and see!
(WINKIES rush in and see the puddle and the WICKED WITCH’s
umbrella. They cheer.)
DOROTHY. Now please, please help me. You’re free, and since I
helped, I would like to ask a favor.
WINKIE 3. Anything!
36
DOROTHY. When the Winged Monkeys brought me here, they tried to
destroy my friends the Tin Woodman and the Scarecrow. Are any of
your people able to organize a search party, and then put them
back together?
WINKIE 1. It would be our pleasure.
(The LION bounds in.)
LION. You saved us!
DOROTHY. How did you hear so quickly?
WINKIE 2. News travels fast among the Winkies.
(DOROTHY and the LION hug.)
LION. Who’s ready for some breakfast?
(Some of the WINKIES shrink back.)
LION. I mean, ahh, some porridge would be fine. Perhaps with a
little rabbit?
DOROTHY. After breakfast, let’s explore the castle while we wait
to hear about the Scarecrow and Tin Woodsman. You can practice
being King!
LION. I’d prefer a throne of dry leaves and branches, but I can
pretend. Now, where is that delicious smell coming from?
WINKIE 4. Dorothy — A small band of brave Winkies have already
found your friends. They went out searching for them days ago.
They’re arriving now!
(Looking happy but a little worse for wear, the
SCARECROW and TIN WOODMAN are led in by several WINKIES.)
DOROTHY. I was so worried about you both!
(She runs to embrace them, and the LION joins in the
reunion as well.)
SCARECROW. Are you alright?
DOROTHY. Never better! But are you both okay? Your straw is
spilling out there, and you’re all dented and rusty.
37
SCARECROW. Aww, nothing that a needle and thread—
TIN WOODMAN. -and some polish
SCARECROW. —can’t fix!
TIN WOODMAN. We heard how you killed the Witch.
SCARECROW.That was smart thinking to use water.
DOROTHY. But I wasn’t thinking. I was just angry.
LION. It’s a good thing. We’d all still be separated and stuck
here otherwise.
TIN WOODMAN. I rather like it here now that the Witch is gone.
DOROTHY. I do too, but I think it’s time to head back to the
Emerald City. Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll never see Aunt Em again.
TIN WOODMAN. True, I’m ready for my heart.
SCARECROW. And I for my brains.
LION.Courage! I can’t wait to know what it feels like.
DOROTHY. Let’s start tomorrow! We should give the Winkies a
proper goodbye and thanks before we leave.
TIN WOODMAN. I agree— (Quietly:)some have even asked if I will
be their leader.
LION. That’s wonderful!
TIN WOODMAN. I’m determined to win my heart though, so I told
them I will have to go to the Emerald City first, and then
perhaps I can return.
(WINKIE 1 steps forward.)
WINKIE 1. Dorothy, we would like to present you with the Witch’s
Golden Cap.
DOROTHY. Oh no, I don’t think I want to have anything of hers.
38
WINKIE 1. But it did not really belong to her. She stole it, and
used it to command the Winged Monkeys. I wish we had one for
each of you.
LION. I don’t know if I should like it. I heard a rumor that the
Witch used that hat to command the Winged Monkeys.
(SCARECROW and TIN WOODMAN shudder.)
WINKIE 1. Still, it may be useful.
DOROTHY. Well, I suppose it won’t do any harm to take it with
me. It is beautiful. Now, we should prepare for our journey back
to the Emerald City.
(They exit, and the castle melts away to a barren field.)
Scene 12
(The friends are trudging through a field in Winkie-land. All
look dispirited.)
LION. I didn’t realize what a long trip this is.
DOROTHY. I don’t even know if we’re going the right way.
TIN WOODMAN. It could be weeks before we reach the Emerald City,
at this rate.
DOROTHY. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss getting that
ride from the Winged Monkeys.
SCARECROW. Maybe you should try to summon them with your crown.
If you hold the power to command them, then I suppose we can
trust them.
DOROTHY. True. But I wonder how it works.
LION. I guess she didn’t leave the instructions lying around.
DOROTHY. (Taking the crown off.) I think something’s written
inside. Let’s see: it says to stand on my left foot first.
(Placing the cap on her head, she stands on her left foot
and chants:)
39
Ancient curse of Quelala!
(She then stands on her right foot.)
Let the jokers come
(She plants both feet firmly on the ground, and raises her
arms.)
With wings made wild and the mind of a child,
The Golden Cap summons you!
(A great rumbling begins to grow—the flapping of wings and
chaos of ten laughing)
MONKEYS. They swoop down onto the stage, and perch before her.
(The MONKEY KING lands right in front of her.)
WINGED MONKEY KING. What is your command?
DOROTHY. We want to go to the Emerald City, but we have lost the
way.
WINGED MONKEY KING. We can carry you there.
SCARECROW. Are you sure about this Dorothy?
TIN WOODMAN. I seem to remember the monkeys who dropped me and
did so with considerable glee.
WINGED MONKEY KING.We must obey the command of whoever wears the
Golden Cap. Seeing that it is your friend, who surely wants the
best for you, I can give you my assurance that you will lose not
a single straw, nor receive a nick in your tin.
DOROTHY. Everyone ready?
(Before they can reply, the MONKEYS lift them up and carry them
swiftly off stage.)
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Scene 13
(The four friends have arrived at the gates of the Emerald City,
and the GUARDIAN OF THE GATES emerges.)
GUARDIAN. Well, oh my, oh my. I thought you had gone to visit
the Wicked Witch of the West.
SCARECROW. We did visit her.
GUARDIAN. And she let you go again?
SCARECROW. She couldn’t help it—she’s melted!
GUARDIAN. Excellent news! Who, ah, did the melting?
LION. Dorothy.
GUARDIAN. Good gracious! Here, here, put on your spectacles and
I’ll take you to the Great Oz at once.
(They do so.)
(The lights become emerald green, and then go to a blackout.)
(Lights up on Oz’s throne room. It is empty. There is a loud,
echoing knock on the door, and then the friends enter.)
DOROTHY. There’s no one here!
TIN WOODMAN. Maybe it’s a trick.
LION. This makes me nervous...
VOICE OF OZ. I am Oz, the Great and Terrible. Why do you seek
me?
SCARECROW. (Quietly:) I still don’t see the Wizard.
DOROTHY. Where are you?
VOICE OF OZ. I am everywhere, but to the eyes of common mortals
I am invisible. I will now seat myself upon my throne, that you
may converse with me.
(The voice now comes from the throne.)
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DOROTHY. We have come to claim our promise.
VOICE OF OZ. What promise?
DOROTHY. To send me back to Kansas when the Wicked Witch was
destroyed.
SCARECROW. You promised me your brains.
TIN WOODMAN. You promised to give me a heart.
LION. And you promised me courage.
VOICE OF OZ. Is the Wicked Witch really destroyed?
DOROTHY. Yes. I melted her with a bucket of water.
VOICE OF OZ.Dear me, how sudden! Well, come to me tomorrow, for
I must have time to think it over.
TIN WOODMAN. You’ve had plenty of time already.
SCARECROW. We won’t wait another day.
LION. ROOOOAAAARRRRRRR!
(His roar so surprises the TIN WOODMAN that he topples over, and
tips over a screen standing in the corner. Behind it is Oz —a
surprised little old man [or woman—pronouns may be adapted to
reflect the gender of the actor playing Oz].)
TIN WOODMAN.(Raising his axe:) Who are you?
OZ.
I am Oz, the Great and Terrible. But don’t strike me—please
don’t—and I’ll do anything you want me to.
DOROTHY.
But we thought you were a great Beast.
OZ.
No, no, I was just making believe.
DOROTHY.
What? Are you not a great Wizard?
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OZ. Hush, don’t speak so loud or you will be overheard—and I
will be ruined. I’m supposed to be a Great Wizard.
DOROTHY. And aren’t you?
OZ. Not at all—I’m just a common man.
SCARECROW. You’re more than that, you’re a humbug.
OZ. Correct you are.
TIN WOODMAN.
But this is terrible—how will we get the things you promised us?
OZ. My dear friends, I hope you’ll not speak of these little
things.
Think of me, and the terrible trouble I’m in at being found out.
DOROTHY. How does no one else know?
OZ. I have fooled everyone for so long that I thought I would
always be able to always. Usually I will not even see my
subjects, so they think I am something terrible.
DOROTHY. But how did you appear to us as a giant?
OZ. That was one of my tricks—but it wasn’t magic, I assure you.
SCARECROW. And your voice? How did you make it come from
different places?
OZ. I’m a ventriloquist, and can throw the sound of my voice
wherever I please.
SCARECROW. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
OZ. I am, but it was the only thing I could do. You see, I was
born in Omaha—
DOROTHY. That’s close to Kansas!
OZ. Yes, but far from here. I was studying to be a balloonist,
and one day I went up in a great hot air balloon, but the ropes
twisted and broke, and I couldn’t come down again. I traveled
through the clouds for a day and a night, and when I started to
descend, it was in this strange and beautiful country. The
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people here thought I must be a great Wizard, so I decided not
to disappoint them.
DOROTHY. I think you’re terrible.
OZ. I’m a good man, but a bad Wizard.
TIN WOODMAN. I can hardly see how you even call yourself a good
man. You lied to us!
LION.Yeah, why’d you have to do that? You could’ve gotten us all
killed.
SCARECROW. So you better give us the things you promised us.
OZ. Hmm. Well. Yes, I see your point. But I’m not sure that I
can do anything.
DOROTHY. I beg your pardon?
OZ. I am just a man, as I said.
LION. Listen buddy, we didn’t do all your work for you just as a
favor.
OZ. I realize that. It’s just that...
TIN WOODMAN. You supposed that we could never successfully
complete our task, is that it?
OZ. Well...
SCARECROW. If that’s so, then you’d be smart to work extra hard
to give us what you promised. Now!
OZ. But...
LION. He said now!
OZ. All right, all right. I suppose I could stuff your head with
brains. I cannot tell you how to use them, though, you must find
that out for yourself. Let me see...
(OZ takes a handful of bran, pins, and needles from a jar, and
stuffs them into the top of SCARECROW’s straw head.)
OZ. How do you feel?
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SCARECROW. Quite wise. When I get used to my brains I think I
will know everything.
DOROTHY. Are those needles sticking out of your head?
LION. That’s proof that he’s sharp. Now, my turn.
OZ. But you have plenty of courage—all you need is confidence in
yourself. True courage is in facing danger when you are afraid,
and that courage you have plenty of.
LION. You’re not trying to back out of your promise to me too,
are you?
OZ. No, no. Here.
(OZ reaches up to a high shelf and picks up a small green
bottle.)
OZ. Drink.
LION. What is it?
OZ. If it were inside you, it would be called courage. As you
know, courage is always inside one, so it cannot be called such
until you have swallowed it.
(The LION drinks it in one gulp.)
OZ. How do you feel?
LION. Bursting with courage!
OZ. (To the TIN WOODMAN:) You are next, I suppose?
TIN WOODMAN. If you please, I am ready for my heart.
OZ. I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people
unhappy. If you only knew it, you are lucky to not have a heart.
TIN WOODMAN.That is a matter of opinion. And I will bear any
unhappiness without a murmur.
OZ. Very well. I hope this doesn’t hurt.
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(He opens a compartment in TIN WOODMAN’s chest, and inserts a
small, heart-shaped stuffed pillow.)
OZ. There. You have a heart that anyone would be proud of.
TIN WOODMAN. Is it a kind heart?
OZ. Very!
TIN WOODMAN. Thank you, you have redeemed yourself in my humble
eyes.
OZ.
Do not speak of it. Now, Dorothy, what shall we do for you?
DOROTHY.
I just want to go home to Kansas.
OZ. Well, I’m not sure about Kansas, because I haven’t the
faintest notion which way it lies. But the first thing to do is
to cross the desert that surrounds this whole country, and then
it should be simple to find your way home.
DOROTHY. How do I cross the desert?
OZ. When I came to this country, it was in a hot-air balloon.
You also came through the air, being carried by a cyclone. So I
believe air is the best way to travel. It is quite beyond my
powers to make a cyclone, but I believe I can make a balloon.
DOROTHY. You would do that?
OZ. Certainly.
DOROTHY. Can I help?
OZ. Of course—it has to be strong enough to carry both of us.
DOROTHY. You’re going with me?
OZ. Yes, I think it is high time I see Omaha again. We’ll start
building the balloon today.
(Blackout.)
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Scene 14
(The balloon is partially visible on stage as it fills with air.
DOROTHY and her friends watch expectantly.)
TIN WOODMAN.(Looking skeptically at the balloon:) Are you sure
about this Dorothy?
SCARECROW. Maybe I should test it out—worst case I fall out and
all you have to do is stuff me with fresh straw!
DOROTHY. No, I trust Oz. He gave each of you what he promised,
didn’t he?
LION. True. You might need a few drops of courage before going
up in that thing, though.
OZ. (Off.) Come along Dorothy, the balloon’s almost ready, and
we’ve a long journey ahead of us.
DOROTHY. Oh, how can I say goodbye to each of you?
TIN WOODMAN. I fear I’ll cry so much my jaws may rust shut.
DOROTHY. No, no—you have to find the girl you were once so in
love with, now that you have a heart again. And you, Scarecrow,
Oz would like you to rule in his place, now that you have more
brains than anyone.
SCARECROW. Really?
DOROTHY. You’ll be a great leader. Just like you, Lion!
OZ. (Off:) Dorothy! The ropes can’t hold much longer!
DOROTHY. I’m coming, just let me find Toto. Where are you?
Toto?
OZ. (Off:) We’re lifting off! Goodbye...
(The partially visible balloon moves out of sight, just as Toto
comes bounding up.)
DOROTHY. No! Wait! Come back! Please! Come back, you humbug!
Stop him!
(OZ is gone.)
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LION. Oh Dorothy, I can’t leap that high, or I would.
SCARECROW. I’m thinking as hard as I can, but I don’t know how
to stop him.
TIN WOODMAN. Dorothy, I’m sorry. But perhaps you are meant to
stay with us forever.
(DOROTHY begins to cry, more out of anger than sadness.)
SCARECROW. If you could only be content living in the Emerald
City, we might all be happy together.
DOROTHY. You’re all the best friends I can ask for, but I don’t
want to live here. I want to see Kansas again, with Aunt Em and
Uncle Henry. He promised!
LION. That humbug. Why, if we were to see him again, I’d—
TIN WOODMAN. Lion, you aren’t helping. What can we do, Dorothy?
DOROTHY. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever get home again.
TIN WOODMAN. My new heart will break if we must continue to
see you so terribly unhappy.
SCARECROW. Let me think... I’ve got it! Why not call the Winged
Monkeys and ask them to carry you over the desert?
DOROTHY. Do you think they would do that?
LION. Never hurts to try.
DOROTHY. I suppose you’re right...
TIN WOODMAN. And we’ll go with you.
DOROTHY. Ok. Let’s see...
(She stands on her left foot and chants:) Ancient curse of
Quelala!
(She then stands on her right foot.) Let the jokers come!
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(She plants both feet firmly on the ground, and raises her
arms.) With wings made wild and the mind of a child, The Golden
Cap summons you!
(The flapping and chatter of MONKEYS descending.)
WINGED MONKEY KING. You have called us for a second time. What
do you wish for?
DOROTHY. I want you to fly me to Kansas.
WINGED MONKEY KING. We cannot.
LION. Come on.
WINGED MONKEY KING. We belong to this country alone, and we
cannot leave it. There’s never been a Winged Monkey in Kansas
yet, and I don’t suppose there ever will be. We’d be happy to
serve you in any way that is in our power. You have one final
wish.
DOROTHY. Can you tell me how you think I should get home?
WINGED MONKEY KING. (Confers with other MONKEYS:) We do not
know, but there is one Witch who may be able to help.
DOROTHY. Another witch?
WINGED MONKEY KING. Her name is Glinda, and she is the Witch of
the South, where she rules over the quadlings.
DOROTHY. Is she a good witch?
WINGED MONKEY KING. They think so.
DOROTHY. Then how do I get to her castle?
WINGED MONKEY KING. You did not wish for this, but I will bring
her to you.
DOROTHY.
Will she like being carried?
WINGED MONKEY KING. Oh, there’s no need for that. We’re simply
asking her to come. Glinda has her own ways of traveling.
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(A beautiful woman begins materializing before them. It is
GLINDA.)
DOROTHY. Oh!
GLINDA. My child. I am told you are in need of my help?
DOROTHY. My name is Dorothy, and these are my friends, the Tin
Woodman, the Lion, and the Scarecrow.
GLINDA. I see. I am very pleased to meet each of you.
LION. You’re gorgeous.
GLINDA. (Laughing:) And you look very brave.
LION. Ahh, well, now.
GLINDA. Dorothy, what is it you desire?
DOROTHY. My greatest wish is to get back to Kansas, for Aunt Em
is surely thinking something terrible has happened to me.
GLINDA. Bless your heart. Where did you find the shoes you wear
upon your feet?
DOROTHY. The Witch of the North gave them to me, after I landed
on the Wicked Witch of the East.
GLINDA.
So it is true, you have killed two witches?
DOROTHY. But I didn’t really mean it either time.
GLINDA. No need to worry, my dear. You have done the land of Oz
a great service. And, you have gained something which was once
very precious to my family.
DOROTHY. I have?
GLINDA. The silver shoes you wear were once my mother’s. They
were stolen from her by the Wicked Witch of the East when I was
a small girl, and because my mother wished to protect me, she
did not try to fight. The Wicked Witch of the East was very
powerful, and even as my own powers grew, I have been unable to
regain the shoes. So you, my dear, must be very special indeed.
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DOROTHY. Would you like them back?
GLINDA. Of course not. You have more use for them than I. The
shoes you wear will quickly carry you over the desert to
wherever your heart desires. If you had known the great power
they hold, you could have gone back to your Aunt Em the very
first day you came to this country.
DOROTHY. Really?
SCARECROW. But then I might have passed my whole life in a
cornfield, brainless.
TIN WOODMAN. And I would have rusted, without a heart, till the
end of the world.
LION. I would be cowering in the forest to this day.
DOROTHY. I’m glad I’ve become friends with each of you, and I’ll
miss you terribly. But now that you all have the things you
desire, I would like to get my wish.
GLINDA.
The silver shoes have wonderful powers. One of the most curious
things about them is that they can carry you to any place in the
world in three steps, and each step happens in the wink of an
eye. Just knock the heels together three times, and tell them
where to go.
DOROTHY. Then I can return to Kansas at once!
TIN WOODMAN. I’m so happy-sad, all at the same time.
GLINDA. Dorothy, if you will give me the Golden Cap, I will use
it to see that each of your friends is carried by the Winged
Monkeys to wherever they wish to go.
DOROTHY. Certainly—it isn’t at all useful to me now. Thank you,
Glinda.
(DOROTHY hugs each of her friends, then picks up Toto, and
kisses GLINDA on the cheek.)
DOROTHY. Goodbye friends.
... Here goes.
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(She claps her heels together three times as her friends wave to
her.)
Take me home to Aunt Em!
(Instantly the stage goes dark and a fierce wind swirls, but for
no longer than a few seconds. The lights rise on
DOROTHY, lying on her back in the prairie. She is alone. She
sits up, and marvels:)
DOROTHY. Toto! Toto, we’re back—there ’s the barnyard, and the
cows, and pigs, and oh—Aunt Em! Uncle Henry! I’m home! I’m
back from Oz!
End of Play
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