Film Analysis of Relationship Dynamics
Movie chosen: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Directed by: Michel Gondray
SUMMARY:
“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” follows Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) and
Clementine Krucynski (Kate Winslet), two former lovers who undergo a procedure through
Lacuna, Inc to erase each other’s memory of their painful breakup. Though Clementine has
finished her procedure, Joel realizes halfway through the process that he still is in love with
Clementine and fights to preserve what’s left of her in his brain.
Meanwhile, Lacuna’s employees, including technician Patrick (who exploits Joel’s memories
to win over Clementine) and receptionist Mary (who unknowingly had her own memories
erased), add layers to the story, revealing ethical dilemmas surrounding memory
manipulation.
Despite losing their past, Joel and Clementine meet again and feel an inexplicable
connection. When they learn about their erased history, they hesitantly decide to start over,
embracing the uncertainty of love and imperfection. The film explores memory, love, and the
inevitability of human connection. The story also proves that love persist beyond memory.
CHARACTER ANALYSIS:
Joel Barish is a socially anxious, introverted guy who struggles
with emotional expression and vulnerability. He often avoids confrontation and tends to
repress his feelings rather than addressing them, which stems from past experiences of feeling
rejected or emotionally stunted. His current view and actions towards love or affection is
entirely shaped by the breakup that he just went through which is just overshadowed in the
movie. His attachment style seems to lean toward anxious-avoidant—he craves deep
connection but withdraws when things get too intense. This resembles a way of self-sabotage
which we is often seen in relationships that are well and good where one of the partners
would have this strong belief that they aren’t worthy of that and sabotage it themselves. His
relationship with Clementine is both comforting and terrifying because she challenges his
passive approach to life. The memory erasure process forces him to relive their experiences
in reverse, making him realize that despite their conflicts, the love they shared was real and
meaningful. His final decision to embrace the possibility of reliving those same ups and
downs shows emotional growth he’s learning to accept uncertainty and imperfection rather
than running from them.
Clementine Kruczynski is impulsive, emotionally intense, and constantly searching for a
sense of self, often using relationships as a means of self-definition. Her attempt to fill the
void in her life with relationship is the root cause to the issue of her never finding a stable
relationship.She likely exhibits traits of an anxious attachment style, craving love and
intimacy but also feeling trapped when things become routine. Her past experiences suggest a
pattern of dissatisfaction—whether in relationships, jobs, or life in general—which fuels her
impulsive decisions, including the memory erase she undergoes. Clementine’s bright hair
colors and erratic behavior reflect her inner turbulence and desire for reinvention, yet deep
down, she longs for stability. It also represents that she like to be in control with the things
she can access easily so that it balances out the aspects where she feels like she isn’t in
control. Despite her spontaneity, she’s self-aware enough to recognize her flaws, even
warning Joel that she’s not perfect and will likely disappoint him. After the memory erase,
When she learns about their past relationship, she hesitates but ultimately chooses to try
again, suggesting a newfound emotional maturity—accepting that love isn’t about perfection
but about persistence and growth, shadowing that with the time she got free of memories
about her relationship she has worked a lot on herself and had started to love herself a bit
more which in turn has a positive effect on her second shot at her relationship with Joel.
INSIGHT :
1. Using Erich Fromm’s Theory of Love, analyze the dynamics of love in the
relationship.
Relationship isn’t a mere chore or a task that is to be done only for a
certain time period. As Erich puts it “love as an active process rather than a
fleeting feeling. Like any art form (such as painting or music), love requires
discipline, patience, and continuous effort. It is not something one simply "falls
into" but something one must work on consciously.” The relationship of Joel and
Clementine showcases how this theory is important, both the characters fall for each
other the moment they meet and the love they share is intense and very much real but
as time passes they both fail to acknowledge that love needs constant effort and they
both must confront each other’s trouble.
According to Fromm, true love involves actively caring for another’s
well-being. While Joel and Clementine do care for each other, their struggles with
emotional expression and miscommunication hinder them from fully practicing
responsibility in love. Joel and Clementine’s relationship is marked by passion but
lacks the stability and commitment needed for mature love.
Fromm identifies four essential components that define true love, “care,
responsibility, knowledge, respect.” While Joel and Clementine care and respect
each other they lack knowledge of each other’s past struggles that shaped them for
who they are now. They both couldn’t be responsible for each other as they aren’t
even taking responsibility for their own actions.
As for the type of love portrayed it is Erotic Love since they are both
romantically involved with each other which is a result of passion, though it must be
noted that romantic love also requires knowledge and work which the characters lack.
2. What is the primary love language for the two characters? Provide examples from the
movie.
Joel has a very soft way of showing his love i.e spending quality time and sharing
intimate moments, he emphasis on Acts of service and enjoys just being in the company of
his partner. He expresses love through shared experiences and deep conversation.
Example:
One of the most memorable scenes that reflect Joel’s love language is when he
recalls lying in bed with Clementine, simply talking. This moment highlights how, for Joel,
love is about deep, meaningful connection rather than constant excitement. His happiest
memories are not about grand gestures but about the intimacy of just being together,
emphasizing how much he values time spent in quiet companionship.
Throughout the movie there are many scenes where Clementine talks expressively and Joel
listens patiently to her, this shows that while Joel might not be as expressive as Clementine
he has the patience to be present and support her.
Clementine’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation and Physical
Touch. She thrives on verbal communication, expressive emotions, and physical affection.
She wants to be heard, validated, and reassured through words, which contrasts with Joel’s
more reserved nature.
Example:
Clementine expresses herself with enthusiastic and sometimes impulsive verbal
affirmations, she enjoys talking about emotion in a raw and vulnerable manner.
Clementine throughout the movie is the one to initiate some sort of physical touch whether it
may be a playful nudge, a kiss or a hug. She opts to physical touch as a source of assurance.
Clementine may interpret Joel’s quietness as indifference, while Joel may see Clementine’s
high energy as overwhelming or emotionally demanding.Joel prefers passive affection
(simply spending time together), while Clementine seeks active affection (words and physical
closeness).
3.What works in this relationship and what doesn't? Support your answer with
examples.
WHAT WORKS:
Joel is introverted and cautious, while Clementine is spontaneous and
adventurous. This contrast creates an initial attraction as it provides both of them to learn
what they lack. Despite their differences, Joel and Clementine share deeply personal and
intimate moments, which form the foundation of their love.
Example:
Clementine encourages Joel to step outside his comfort zone, like when she
convinces him to run on the frozen Charles River. This moment reflects how her adventurous
spirit temporarily makes Joel feel more alive.
In one of Joel’s erased memories, they lie in bed together, laughing and
talking. These small moments reflect their ability to connect emotionally, even if they
struggle with communication in other areas.
WHAT DOESN’T WORK:
Joel struggles to express his feelings, while Clementine needs verbal
affirmation. This often makes Clementine feel unheard and unappreciated, while Joel feels
overwhelmed and inadequate in meeting her needs. Clementine initially excites Joel but the
same energy of her frustrates him as time passes, same problem occurs with Clementine as
she is too frustrated with the reserved nature of Joel.
Example:
During an argument, Clementine accuses Joel of being boring and distant, while
Joel resents her unpredictability. Their failure to communicate leads to resentment.
Clementine tells Joel, “I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s looking for my own peace of mind.
Don’t assign me yours.” This highlights how both have placed expectations based on
assumption on each other that don’t align with reality.
4. Based on your experience with this movie, what do you think is the most important
lesson one can learn about relationships?
The major part of the movie is them erasing the memories of the
relationship which is something many of us have at least once dreamt abou